How To Retain the Spark in Your Relationship

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after. Many couples gradually grow apart showing no marriage can be constantly happy over the years. The spark is gone. It affords couples a realistic perspective of duration—that relationships don't happen overnight but take time. A woman marries a man because she appreciates his potential and then tries to adjust him to fulfill this potential. Conversely, a man marries a woman who is exactly what he wants, and then she goes off and changes. While it’s true that couples relax a bit after they think they’ve signed the dotted line, the reality is that you may also find yourselves dumbfounded if the initial spark starts slipping away.Eventually, the fires die down, and so while it takes work and strategy to keep the passion alive, love is built on intimacy and companionship. The normal events of life necessitate continual adaptation, both individually and as a couple. This is the period couples experience individual change as disappointment, anxiety, and self-doubt and there is need to reinvent in the marriage.

• Start a new relationship, with the same person! How do you do this? It is achievable by changing the way you think about your relationship. When you get curious and show more interest in your partner’s welfare you can truly take the steps necessary to reinvent your relationship. Handled properly, you’ll become one of the lucky few who experiences improved relationship twice with the same person!
• Grow together spiritually. Pray with each other and for each other because a family that prays together stays together.
• The quality of the couple's communication before marriage is one of the necessities for future marital success. The couple should agree on how to handle several aspects of married life. That could deal with anything from finances to personal discipline such as setting boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. Many people believe that the causes of marital problems are the differences between people and problem areas such as money, sex, and children.
• Money is one of the biggest challenges in a marriage. Couples worry and argue about it constantly. Whatever the decision, both partners have to be part of the decision to do it and then figure out what needs to be done to keep their financial status stable.
• Surround yourselves with happily married couples who have faith in marriage. If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to learn the ways of an eagle. So if you want to be a happily married person associate with happily married people.
• Displaying appreciation for things we do each day. Not taking for granted these simple acts that makes our lives easier, more fulfilling and happier. Thinking of ourselves as one always having the other person in our thoughts, instead of living individually and doing our own thing.
• Saying “I love you” many times during the day. But we could strengthen our relationships immensely with more attention to the details. Make a date. Plan time together for just the two of you. Compliment daily. You’re never too busy to give compliments.
• Overconfidence can lead to complacency, which is not good for any relationship. Don’t let yourself gloss over the little things. Don’t forget to make an effort to keep your romance alive. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and cuddling all night while we are sleeping. People make substitutions where they ought not to. For example, in relationships, they trade money and gifts for affection and time. Some people find it easier to buy things for their spouse to compensate for their absence than spend time interacting with them. Keep in touch regularly if you are apart for a long period of time. Don’t find yourself in a situation where you realize that you could have done more…when it’s already too late.
• Sitting on the couch together and watching the news or going back to bed for some excitements after the kids get on the bus in the mornings. Intimacy is an important part of a vital relationship, and one of the first areas to suffer if feelings are floundering. But sexual encounters can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner.
• Conflict is a major arena for marital communication and relationship negotiation. Communicating when we are upset about something. Each listening to the other’s point of view and discussing issues in a calm manner. In developing a shared vision, both partners must develop, grow, work with each other, and talk through problems in nonjudgmental ways. Couples who are able to successfully resolve problems when they develop have the best chance to go on to a successful marriage. Women typically are much more in tune with relationship issues than men are. They tend to have a better handle on communication, while men don’t as easily pick up on subtle cues that women project in relationships. Taking the time during the day to stop what you are doing just to talk is at times necessary. Rather than viewing differences and conflicts as a sign of incompatibility, couples need to see them as opportunities for developing skills that they can use for the rest of their relationship.
• Give your spouse space because each of you will bring more back to the marriage if you’re relaxed and refreshed. A lot of us think that marriage and commitment have to be together all the time, especially the women. But the other may be feeling the impulse to run away from the relationship feeling, "I want time for myself" and "I need some space”. They need to live their own lives, as well as develop their own interests and friends. Separations at this point are good if they allow the partners to who they are and what they want. It’s unrealistic to expect another person to fulfill your every need. Relationships grow better when individuals maintain their individuality, but it requires open, honest communication and a commitment to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage your number one relationship
• Embrace a Little Tenderness. When you need to ask your partner, for something that could be misconstrued as nagging, try to be succinct and use a warm tone of voice and body language. Placing blame on or judging or analyzing your partner will only distance you from each other, so if the issue isn’t all that serious, then be playful and don’t take yourself so seriously. But what is central to the marital relationship is the ability to manage negative emotions. Make your request with a smile.
• When you have kids, there is no doubt that your world revolves around them, but even as you play protector, parent, and mentor to your children, you need to remember that without your partner, there’ll be no children. And you need to remember that when it comes to both your time and your attention. It’s helpful to remember that the happier the marriage, the easier it is to deal with the demands of raising children.
• To communicate more effectively on big issues, make an appointment. It ensures your partner will be ready for you. By focusing on love rather than being right or controlling another’s behavior, the couple sidesteps the pitfalls of typical arguments