We All Deserve to Be Truly Happy
How many of us lead lives of discontent, too scared to venture from the norm and see what new adventures life might have in store for us. This is one of those stories, one man’s journey from a life where he thought he was happy, but ultimately he was drowning in miseries that he could not comprehend at the time.
Let me start at the beginning. I had a typical childhood. My family was not rich by any means, we were actually closer to the poor scale..lol…but I did receive love and that is important….my parents were old school…my Dad didn’t show his emotions well and my Mom, well she was at times too emotional…so I grew up not really liking to show emotions…over the years I have worked on it and gotten a lot better…but it still is a challenge to me to this day. I Made it through my childhood and ventured into adulthood. Went away to college, experienced life and eventually found a girl I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The early years were pretty good, as we were focused on starting a family and lack of communication between us didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. However, as time went on and the kids got older, the disconnect between us grew larger and at times I felt like I was living with a stranger. About 4 years ago the discussions of splitting up started. I have to admit at the time I was terrified of the thought. Who wouldn’t be, I had a beautiful wife, 3 great kids and a nice home, what I thought was the perfect life. Except,,one thing was missing, that intimacy that loving couples sustain throughout their marriage. I was married, but I was alone emotionally, that my friend may be the worst kind of loneliness. Every once in a while these discussions would come up….only to be pushed to the backburner, until I had what I consider a life changing experience…..the death of my father. He was the person I admired the most in my life, he came from a very simple upbringing, but led in my opinion an extraordinary existence, he was a WWII Veteran, raised 4 upstanding children and was well liked by everyone that new him. When he died, it was a very emotional time for me….remember I don’t show my emotions, so on the outside I seemed fine, but inside I had to deal with the loss of my father. I think when you are in a relationship with the right person, they can help you overcome any obstacle or hurdle that life throws at you……sometimes without even saying a word. My wife at the time tried to comfort me…but to no avail….we had lost that closeness that provides comfort in these times of distress. Needless to say I did as I almost always have done….I coped with it in my own ways….taking comfort in my kids and worrying about my mother who was now totally alone. The next time the discussion came up about divorce, which was a couple of months later, I was finally receptive to the idea…..my ex said one thing that struck me….don’t we both deserve to be really happy…and you know what she was absolutely right…..my Dad’s death brought clarity to my life that I cannot explain. I moved out on a typical August afternoon….I’m not going to lie….it was tough leaving my kids and my home for the past 18 years….but as for my ex…..I have never missed her…..not once since I left…..so I know I made the right decision. Sometimes things in life happen and at the time you don’t understand them, but I think we are all part of a bigger picture here, parts of a puzzle that together make some sense of this crazy world. I moved in with my sister who was ironically going through a divorce herself and together we were able to move forward from what was undoubtedly one of the toughest life experiences a human being can experience. My sister always said my Dad had something to do with all this, and sometimes I’m apt to believe her, particularly when you consider the timing of these occurences. Now fast forward one year later….how am I doing….quite well thank you! I have begun to rebuild my life. One thing people in relationships tend to do is lose their identity…..and I was no different…..over the years I lost close friends who were like family to me…..I have reconnected with many of these people and its almost like we never had a hiatus. As for dating…..well that is another story…..I have started dating again and although its scary at times….it is nice and exciting to meet new people….and who knows I might get this right in the end. The moral of this story is simple….don’t be afraid to take that leap of faith….don’t settle for mediocrity and comfortable…..if you do you may never experience true happiness…..and don’t we all deserve to be truly happy!