Wedding Expense Etiquette - Expenses Paid by Wedding Party, Guests and Ushers
Expense Etiquette Overview
Figuring out who pays for what in a wedding is often a difficult and somewhat complicated subject to address. Since there are so many people involved in the process of bringing a wedding together, it's important to keep wedding expense etiquette in mind. In this article, we will take a look at what wedding costs are covered by the wedding party (sometimes also called wedding attendants), guests and ushers.
And if you want to know what wedding costs are covered by others involved in the wedding, read the article that answers "Who pays for what?".
Wedding Expenses Traditionally Covered by the Wedding Party / Attendants
The wedding party in this case is defined as the Best Man, Maid or Matron of Honor, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer and guest book attendant.
Here is a list of wedding costs customarily paid by the Wedding Party:
- Gifts for respective newlywed
In other words, groomsmen buy a gift for the groom and bridesmaids buy a gift for the bride (traditionally, but this doesn't have to be the case).
- Wedding attire costs
The wedding party is expected to cover the costs of their rented (or purchased) wedding outfits, according to tradition. Cumber buns, belts, shoes, ties, etc. all fall under this category.
This is an understood expense in standard weddings, but this is especially important in destination weddings or weddings that might require longer than usual travel time. Whether traveling by plane, car or other method, those in the wedding party should cover their own travel costs.
- Wedding Shower or Bachelor Party Costs
The costs associated with the wedding shower should be covered by the bridesmaids. Likewise, the cost of the bachelor party should be paid by the groomsmen.
Wedding Guests Having Fun
Wedding Expenses Traditionally Covered by the Wedding Guests
Here is a list of wedding costs customarily paid by the Wedding Guests:
- Gift for the couple
Most people understand this to be the standard, but it's important to note. Try sticking to a gift registry (if one exists) or gifts that have practical use.
Just as was mentioned earlier, transportation costs are an expected expense. Keep in mind that all wedding guests are typically expected to pay for their own transportation to the wedding, even if it's a destination wedding.
Wedding Expenses Traditionally Covered by Ushers
Here is a list of wedding costs customarily paid by ushers:
- Gift to the couple
Again, most people understand this to be the standard, but it's important to note. Try sticking to a gift registry (if they have one) or gifts that have practical use.
Transportation costs are assumed, however, ushers should also be prepared to pay for transportation to and from a destination wedding, should the couple desire it.
- Wedding Attire Rental
Similar to the wedding party, ushers are expected to pay for their wedding attire whether it's rented or purchased.
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How This Trend is Changing
Probably the biggest impact to today's wedding expense etiquette that affects the wedding party, guests and ushers is destination weddings. Destination weddings have drastically increased in popularity, and wedding expense etiquette has had to transform because of it.
The standard is that those attending destination weddings pay their travel expenses, regardless of their role in the wedding. Keep in mind, though, that the newlywed couple is expected to pay for the hotel stay/lodging of the wedding attendants if it's a destination wedding.
Proper Etiquette for Discussing Wedding Expenses
If you are invited to a wedding destination as an usher or a bridal party member, you'll certainly want to know early on who is going to pay for your lodging. Lodging costs could easily be a few hundred dollars a night, especially if the wedding is during peak travel seasons.
According to etiquette rules, it is the responsibility of the bride or groom to bring up the topic of who pays for lodging expenses. Bringing the topic up before they do is seen as tacky and can sometimes lead to damaged relationships.
If the topic isn't brought up, you should expect to pay for lodging expenses without help from the bride or groom.
Related Wedding Article
- The Wedding Party
Discusses the roles and expectations different people take in the wedding, depending on their position in the wedding party.
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