How To Host A Successful Bridal Shower... And Who Pays?

The tradition of the shower began in Holland.
The tradition of the shower began in Holland.

Wedding Showers and Tradition...

Many, many years ago, in Holland, a man disapproved of his daughter's choice of a husband so he refused to give her a dowry or pay for her wedding. The recalcitrant woman, who refused to bend to her father's demands and give up her fiancé, decided to marry him anyway. The townspeople, who felt sorry for her, threw her a party and showered her with gifts so that she could set up housekeeping. And that's how the tradition of the shower was born.


Know the rules for hosting a successful wedding shower!
Know the rules for hosting a successful wedding shower!

Wedding Shower Rules For Success!

* Showers today may be any type of party that the bride prefers; however, it must be remembered that it's the maid of honor's responsibility to host a shower for the bride, meaning she's going to pay the tab. So the gracious bride-to-be will not saddle a MOH with a party that she cannot afford to host. That's Rule One.

* A bride should have no more than three showers. Guests, who are extended invitations to multiple showers, are only required to extend one gift to the bride. That's Rule 2.

* ALL immediate family members (from the bride's and groom's side) must be invited to ONE shower for the bride-to-be, including step-family members. That's Rule 3.

* Any person invited to a shower, as with all pre-wedding parties, must be invited to the wedding. That's Rule 4.

* Do not include registry information with a shower invitation. It's pushy and in poor taste. That's Rule 5.

NOTE: You can include registry information of your "wedding website"--the one that informs your guests about your wedding details, plans, etc., which they can access.


Ask your colleagues to take you to lunch, rather than host a shower, if you can't invite them to your wedding!
Ask your colleagues to take you to lunch, rather than host a shower, if you can't invite them to your wedding!

Business Associates/Friends and Showers!

I have received countless emails like this one: "My colleagues from work, who know that I can't afford to invite them to my wedding, want to host a shower for me. Should I accept the offer?"

No, you shouldn't. But here's what you can do. Ask them to take you out to lunch in lieu of the shower (and gifts)... Do it on a Saturday and/or Sunday so that you can relax and enjoy your friends from work... and to let them know how much you appreciated their offer! It's the gracious thing to do...

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1 comment

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invita 6 years ago from Tampa, FL

That's interesting. I never realized that the tradition started in Holland.

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