What Creeps Women / Her Out?

I recently received an email from fellow hubber pjk_artist suggesting that I write a hub about "What Creeps Women Out". In other words, at what point does romantic and flattering, become creepy, stalker-like behaviour that makes the woman feel really uncomfortable! Never one to turn down a challenge I decided to give this a go and started putting my mind to what has made my friends or myself feel creeped out in the past, and here are my thoughts and the results I came up with.

Ladies please feel free to add your own personal pet hates in the comments section, who knows it could completely change the mehods some perfectly nice, but clueless, men use in their efforts to impress the latest lady they find very attractive!

So where to begin, after all there are so many things men innocently do in order to impress a lady, only to either see her rapidly vanishing into the distance in a cloud of dust, or the poor chap quickly discovers a Policeman on their doorstep armed with a restraining order asking them to leave said "Lady" alone. For the poor guy left scratching his head and wondering where he went wrong and why he isn't now on his way up to the altar with a new bride to be on his arm, here are a few clues as to the dos and don'ts of "wooing" a lady.

Creepy to the Woman

1) Sending sms/text messages to her multiple times per day.

2) Turning up at all her regular haunts be them her workplace, the library, the park where she walks her dog or her local pub. Never outstay your welcome after you have said your hello's.

3) Finding out her phone number before phoning her every day, (especially if it is more than two or three times) rapidly becomes suffocating and intrusive.

4) Staring at her constantly in company is a sure fire way of creeping her out if you overdo it.

5) Endless love poems will for most women become a bit stalker-like very fast.

6) Excessive innuendos will come across as sleazy to a lady. That is not to say you can't ever use innuendo, just don't make it your sole demonstration of a sense of humour.

7) Inappropriate touching / invasion of personal space. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a man who either seems determined to touch you at every opportunity, or who insists on sitting so close to you that you have a burning desire to move away from his airspace.

8) Excessive gifts will make her feel awkward and pressured so don't overdo the romancing with lavish presents.

9) Don't stare at, or talk to, her breasts constantly as this is totally freaky, not to mention quite shallow and not likely to impress her at all.

10) Finally, don't be tempted to talk about your exes, your conquests and your sexual abilities. It wreaks of desperation plus is more than likely to have her exiting through the toilet window before you know it. Do not interrogate her about her exes either as this can imply a jealous mentality that has the potential to become stalker-like.

Not Creepy to the Woman

1) Perhaps sending her a text once or twice a week checking in how she is (but back off immediately if she doesn't reply).

2) By all means it is okay to drop in to her local pub or bump into her in the library or the park, but don't make it a daily event, and after you have said a polite hello and maybe asked her if she fancies meeting up for a drink or something, don't hang around too long or outstay your welcome.

3) Ask her for her phone number and then play it a little cool by not phoning daily and not sounding too desperate. Do not phone her until she has given you her number voluntarily.

4) The occasional meeting of eyes across a crowded room, perhaps a cheeky grin or a wink can be very sexy as part of the flirting game.

5) Keep love poems to one offs for a special occasion such as a Birthday or a Valentine's Day card and then it will seem romantic, not creepy.

6) A naughty sense of humour can be quite sexy if not used too excessively. Innuendo is not totally taboo, so long as it isn't always aimed at the lady personally and is not too shocking. Stick to mischievous naughty humour which is unlikely to offend.

7) By all means stand near to her, just not on top of her. It is fine to give her a kiss on the cheek as a greeting, but don't keep finding excuses to touch her afterwards unless she instigates it. With a bit of clever banter she will soon be sizzling for your touch and using her own feminine methods to accidentally brush against you.

8) Sending a lady flowers is always romantic and will impress her no end, just keep them to sensible levels and if you want to send other gifts don't be so extravagant as to make her feel obligated to you.

9) By all means you can look into her eyes and compliment her on them. That is both romantic and flattering without being overly sexual. Make eye contact when you are talking to her so she can see you are interested in her and not just her body.

10) Ask her about herself, her hobbies, her likes and dislikes, then listen to her answers and remember them. This is truly complimentary and shows you sincerely want to get to know her better and are not just trying to get her into bed.

 I hope this has explained a little bit of what women / ladies find creepy and what they find acceptable and potentially sexy in terms of men's mating behaviour and foreplay. Of course not all women are the same, so I invite any ladies reading this to add their own thoughts in the comments section and say what they find either "creepy" or "not creepy". With a bit of luck this will make it a little easier for men to understand how women's minds work and how they need to behave in order to impress their potential mates.

Good Luck Guys ;)

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Comments 36 comments

fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 6 years ago from Momence, Illinois

I once had a guy who claimed he was my husbands friend come on to me. He looked a bit like my husband so I guess he thought I would bed him or something. I couldn't stand him. I finally told my husband about it and he told the guy off and that was that. Out of both our lives yaaaaaaa!!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for your story fishtiger, sounds like the guy got off very lightly!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Cindy: I had a guy become obsessed with me for over 20 years. He was a coworker, and all I said was "hello" while we were in the train, and all of sudden, I found him in front of my desk at work several times a day, showing up at whatever lunch hour I took. He even found out where I lived, and one morning while going to work, I found him "casually", walking in the next block. I was really creeped out by his obsession and worse he thought I also "loved" him.

It is a major turn off for both men and women to have someone with stalk like behavior insisting they be "loved" in return.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Violetsun, this is exactly the kind of feedback that is relevant, although I will say this guy was clearly a real creep, rather than a misguided but well meaning bloke who simply had no clue as to how to approach a woman.

How did you get rid of him by the way?


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Cindy: I left my job, he was the second reason why I chose to leave after decades of working in the company, but I didn't openly say so. I had already complained to management and even if everyone knew he was strange, no one could really control his obsession with me. He was not a harmful man, just well, obsessed. Yikes, that was not fun, having someone follow me everywhere!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

It is not good when you have to leave a job because of such a person, but at least he was weird and not dangerous I guess, although it must have still been incredibly horrible to work with and would certainly have freaked me out no end.


the advice man profile image

the advice man 6 years ago from Central Va., U.S.A.

Hey Misty, just found your phone number in the local directory, and I'll call you every morning just to make sure your alarm clock went off. B.T.W., did you get the roses, balloons, teddybear, candy, cards, life-sized cardboard cut-out of me and the Ferrari that I sent you? See you at the bar later and don't forget to wear that really tight sweater that you own. Can I come by later and throw out your garbage for you. Your biggest fan!!!!


SUNNY22 6 years ago

NICE ONE


rvsource profile image

rvsource 6 years ago

Cindy,

Great hub, at first I thought you were referring to me suggesting the hub, then I saw the address!

Great hub!

So in other words, NO stalking! if you MUST stalk, then do it casually!! or in a playful way!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

ROFLMAO Advice Man, what a vision you painted, thanks for the laughs :) (I might accept the Ferrari)

Thanks Sunny22, glad you liked it.

Hi Jeff, you could never be a creep I am sure :) Playful stalking is better!!!! LOL


pjk_artist profile image

pjk_artist 6 years ago from Turkey Point, ON

Thanks for the hub and the credit Cindy (and way to find those related clickbank products ;o).

I expect to see a ton more comments from the ladies citing examples of all the creeps they've encountered...based upon the fact that our society fails to train its male members on how to properly initiate, establish and maintain a loving relationship.

I can't help but wonder:

1) How often is a woman not creeped out by the examples above because the man is just so f'n hot and attractive.

2) How many guys creep out a woman because they thought their persistence would pay off. i.e. If I keep asking her out (even thought she's said no) maybe she'll see that I'm not like all the other guys and I really really like her.

3) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

It also appears to me that the above "creepy" behaviour becomes much more acceptable after the relationship's started. Correct me if I'm wrong. If you've been married a few years and your hubby gives you a daily love poem would it creep you out?

-Peter


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

This hub is wonderfully balanced-thanks!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

Thanks for the good, sound advice. Some guys just can't take a hint apparently, as for some girls. I've seen several girls act this way, especially AFTERa relationship. It's a two-way street ;)

Stalkers take note!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Peter, Lorlie and dohn, I am glad you enjoyed this and cheers for the feedback :)


donotfear profile image

donotfear 6 years ago from The Boondocks

Okay, let me think..... Oh! I know! When a man makes constant subliminal references to sexual acts or women's anatomy. When some dude says, laughing stupidly while ordering chicken, "Yeah, I'll take the leg, thigh & breast ...snicker snicker...I like it light or dark! Just kidding." NOT. Gross! Or when they make a snide comment of a sexual nature, then say 'just kidding' or in an email 'LOL'. Actually mean it. Or when they look directly at your crotch while talking to you or hold there own crotch. This has actually happened to me while conducting business. I ignored it, but if I hadn't been a work environment, I would've said, 'What's that crap you're doing? Why are you looking at my.....? Where do you get off doing that? I know what Thelma & Louise did to that tasteless truck driver! Blewey!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for the fabulous examples donotfear, loved (and identified) with all of them. Great stuff. :)


Callan S. profile image

Callan S. 6 years ago

I'm thinking there should be some flip side of how women can avoid creeping out men.

One would be having certain lines and limits, but expecting the man to get that telepathically rather than like, actually telling him. Then getting upset at someone not following what they didn't know. That's pretty creepy.

If it would feel awkward to tell the guy, well that probably shows you wont form much intimacy with him.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Callan, why don't you try writing that article, it could be kind of interesting to see the other perspective :)


Callan S. profile image

Callan S. 6 years ago

Thanks, I've been thinking about it but wondering if I'm really qualified enough? Perhaps I'll just put a disclaimer at the front about to ensure people take me with a grain of salt...


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL, go for it, sounds like a great idea to me! You are as qualified as anyone else!!


Unchained Grace profile image

Unchained Grace 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

As a male, the reverse has happened to me on a number of occasions. More often than not, I would agree there are certainly males out there who are in need of some "attitude adjustment."


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Unchained Grace, thanks for the comment. I totally agree with you :)


thehands profile image

thehands 6 years ago

Thanks for this article because, to be honest, sometimes I'm freaking clueless about how far I can go before I'm viewed as creepy, so I end up just not doing anything at all.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL, glad to be of help "thehands". Good luck in your next attempts. :)


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 6 years ago

These same things would "creep out" most men too! LOL!

The thing about most of this stuff is it's all subjective. If you're head over hills into a guy there is no such thing as Inappropriate touching or Invasion of personal space. In fact during the "infatuation phase" of most relationships all of these rules are broken by most people!

What bothers us is when all of this attention is coming from someone we have little or no interest in.

It pays to tactfully reject unwanted advances early on.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks dashingscorpio, great comment and some excellent points made within it.


eaglecreek profile image

eaglecreek 6 years ago from Vilonia , Arkansas

i just love this hub , its very funny. i see some of the guys making commits that maybe there should be a hub for "what creeps out guys" , it may be a good idea but from my experience ladies don't creep us out . but what they can do is really get on our nerves. for example: if im at work , busy as can be dealing with annoying customers , the tecs not listening to what i tell em to do and a pain in the a-s boss telling me its not good enough , then im sorry but i just don't have time to answer the phone when my significant other calls me to tell me about what opra said today , what the kids got into or a story she just saw on tv where a cat came home after being stranded 1000 miles from home. is this to much to ask


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi eaglecreek, I am delighted you enjoyed this hub, and thanks for your comment. I totally 'get' your point about the phonecalls from the 'significant other' when you are busy. My Husband does this to be all the time and it is infuriating when you are up to your elbows in flour or soapy washing up water and have to frantically try to dry them or brush off the flour, rush to the phone and then realise he has just phoned to 'see what you are up to'. Meanwhile the phone is now smothered in flour or soaking wet for no good reason. LOL


Pleasure Venues profile image

Pleasure Venues 6 years ago from South West US

I once worked at an all gay office; needless to say, as a man, I also had to endure a lot of innuendoes women have to go through! I wasn't as shocked as women would have been, but that's probably due to my gender. To me, it was just stupid,: however, I wouldn't say these things aren't something that has to change. work is work: I think you should write a topic on "sexual diplomacy: the modern rites of courtship".


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Pleasure Venues, Crikey, that would be a depth hub to write. I think there are more qualified people than myself who would write it though. At the moment I already have quite a few ideas pending on my next hubs, so it would be some weeks before I got around to writing that one. Perhaps you could consider writing it!


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia

These are great! I totally agree! My pet hate is when a man stares at my chest regularly during coversation. I'd also add that I really get turned off if the man gives me a really sloppy saliva kiss - like slobber all over my chin - eek!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Another good one stricklydating, sloppy kisses yuk!!

One I forgot to mention was sweaty palms. You know like when they hold your hand you get a real urge to wipe your own on your trousers or skirt afterwards!!


Kathleen D. 5 years ago

I enjoyed the article. I'd also like to remind the ladies that this applies to them as well. Female stalkers are not appreciated either. My brother knew a girl casually who became obsessed with him. Thankfully, another guy eventually came along and got her attention so she moved on to someone who actually liked her.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Kathleen D. You are totally right, women can do these things as well, (and often do). I am glad your brother managed to lose his 'bunny boiler' stalker. Thanks for your feedback, much appreciate it :)


Fluffy77 profile image

Fluffy77 5 years ago from Enterprise, OR

Glad you did this one too, Men should know that a real Woman won't put up with the creepy games. Some guys do this just to see how far they can go with it too. You are a brave person in your writings and an inspiration keep it up, kay!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Cheers Fluffy, (and for giving me so many positive comments today). I am glad you enjoy my writing :)

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