What Do Men Love About Women?

A Woman's Perspective on What Men Want

As women, we tend to have preconceived notions about what men want. Many of these come from the way we were raised. Watching the way our mom's acted around our dad's and other men. Watching the way our dad or other men acted around our mom. Then seeing how other men/boys in our environment treated other women/girls. Sadly, television also has a very large impact on a woman's view of what men really want from them, or like about them.

Common Misconceptions About Men's Wants:

1. Hot Bodies

Most woman feel that men want their women to be super athletic, perfectly weighted or that they should always be dressed to the nines.

2. Sexual Gratification

They say that a man thinks about sex about every 14 seconds. Though does that really men that's all he wants from a woman?

3. To Be In Control

It's pretty common for women to believe that men want to be in control. Society and tradition has suggested that this is still a man's world and that a man should in control of everything about his world. Do you think he really wants to be in control of everything all the time?

What Men Really Want

What we think men want and what men really want, are often dramatically different. Though there isn't any need to feel like you should have known. Most men don't understand themselves enough to explain what they really want and much of society has trained both genders in what men should want and how they should act.

The more important thing to think about, is that you now recognize the need to change your perspective and actions. The past is the past. The only thing we can do is learn from it and then let it be the past. In the past you might not have understood what men really want. Though now that you are reading this hub, you will soon know, and you can put the unknowing behind you and move on to a better and brighter future.

Now it's time to learn... What Men Really Want:

1. Unconditional Love

Most men have been through bad relationships where they were constantly threatened with abandonment. It could have started with their parents, or when they first started dating in school. To be constantly under the threat of losing a relationship over insignificant behaviors, or differences in opinion is horrible. It leaves a guy feeling insecure and shifty in his commitment. Yet time and time again, most relationships are plagued with threats of break ups because of something they did wrong. That leaves a lack of trust in the relationship and makes a guy feel like your love is conditional. It's only there if he does things that please you. How would you feel if every little thing you did, could mean the end of a relationship that you otherwise enjoy?

Men want to feel that their partners love them unconditionally. They want to know that even though you might be unhappy when they misbehave, that they aren't going to lose you and that they will have a chance to make things better. This will not only help them trust in the relationship, but if there ever does come a time when you really would leave them over their actions, that they will respect what you have to say. When you are constantly threatening to leave them, or kick them out, it becomes an empty threat. Empty threats simply leave to more fights, less progress and a ruined relationship.

2. Respect

Way to many woman engage in disrespectful acts with their male mates. The worst part is, most woman just don't realize they are doing this. They might think they are playfully ribbing their man. They might feel that because he is a man, he should be able to take what they dish out. Most woman, are simply used to behaving a certain way and don't take the time to step back and think about whether or not they are respecting their mate.

Disrespectful Behavior:

#1. Name Calling
#2. Whining/Complaining
#3. Extreme jealousy
#4. Derogatory Statements/Put Downs
#5. Withholding Affection

Every man wants to feel like his woman respects him. He doesn't want to be called names (jerk, dumba**, stupid, idiot, a**whole, ect...). Name calling is something immature people do. We don't allow our children to name call and it shouldn't be seen in a relationship either. Constantly complaining or whining about everything is a good way to push away your man as well. Another situation where these things come up, is when you would like your mate to do something for you, or to do something your way. Don't whine at him like a little girl or throw a fit. It won't get you anywhere and makes you very unattractive in his eyes.

Being extremely jealous is usually a sign of an insecure person. It really has very little to do with his behavior and more to do with your lack of trust and security in the relationship. It's important to communicate with him about the situations that make you uncomfortable and help him understand how you can feel more secure. Though you want to understand that he shouldn't have to bend over backward to accommodate you either. It is equally as important to remember that there are going to be plenty of situations he can't control and plenty of ordinary situations that you have no business being jealous about. The finite truth about extreme jealousy is that while you might be able to beat your man into submission for a while, eventually you WILL drive him away.

Using derogatory statements or putting down your mate, is a very good way to turn him away. This includes but is not limited to: making fun of him for doing poorly at certain skills or activities, giving him an overly hard time about not succeeding at projects or at work, talking smack about him to other people, chastising him about a certain part of himself that he is insecure about or telling him he's no good.

Withholding affection is another sure fire way to ruin your chances with him. As a part of loving him unconditionally, you have to learn that the only times you should withhold your affections are times of extreme necessity. If he won't do something your way, that's no reason to withhold sex or give him the silent treatment. It may seem like it works at first, but eventually he will go somewhere else to get the affection. Another less thought about issues, is trying to make your man jealous when he won't give you attention or what you want. This is another form of withholding affection, only it's worse. Instead of just not giving him affection, you're now handing affection out to other men? That's no way to be and not what your man wants.

Your man really wants you to respect him. In every way and form. There are lots of ways that you can show him respect without sacrificing your own needs or self-respect. There are so many ways that you can show him respect, that the most important part is not doing any of the above disrespectful actions. Take some times to study ways of respecting any human being and you will have plenty of success respecting your man.

3. Loyalty

There is not a single person on this either who wants to find out they've been cheated on when they were in a committed monogamous relationship. That includes every man on this earth. If you are in an exclusive relationship with a man, then there is no room for other flings, dates or excursions with other men. If you need an open or polygamous relationship, then make that clear from the beginning. NO messing around.

4. Clear Direction

Many woman have a habit of over explaining their needs or expectations. I am no angel when it comes to this issue. It wasn't until my husband sat down with me out of frustration and told me he had no idea what I really wanted, because I over explained it. I made a simple matter of miscommunication, into an entire lecture about what I needed from him. Sadly, I'm not alone in doing this. Many woman get into trying to communicate with their men and they overdo it. It's mostly a matter of gender behaviors. Woman are very cerebral and detailed oriented. Where men are often more direct and concise. Men really want the chance to please you as often as they can and you can give that to them through have short and clear directions about your needs, desires and expectations in the relationship.

If you need him to call you back or text you back right away, just tell him "I need you to call me back right away or at least text me. It makes me feel insecure when you don't". They don't need you to launch into an explanation about how you developed the insecurity, or the crazy images that go through your head when they don't answer their phone. Clear and simple directions. That's all it takes.

Another part of being clear about your needs and expectations, is acting in accordance with how you feel. Don't pretend that nothing is wrong, when something is clearly upsetting you. Don't tell them you're "fine" when you're not. Tell them what's bothering you, in a respectful way, when it bothers you. Don't hold it in until you explode at them later over an issue that has nothing to do with anything. Communicate what you need, what you want and what you expect from him. Be short and clear about it and you will both win.

5. A Woman Who Takes Care of Herself

A man wants a woman who takes care of herself. That doesn't mean that she needs to be a beauty queen, super skinny or best dressed all the time. What it does mean, is that you need to smell good, wear clean clothes, clean up after yourself and to take care of yourself. You also need to show that you still enjoy looking extra special for your man when he wants to take you out. No man wants to feel like his woman isn't interested in looking good for him at least some of the time.

6. Sharing Control

Most men end up being in control of things in the relationship. Where to eat, what to eat, paying the bills, when to do something romantic or special. It's not that they mind that in most situations, but every man loves a woman who takes some of the control. In a relationship, decisions should be a shared effort. You should not have all the control and neither should he. Sometimes you can decide you want to go out to eat to your favorite restaurant. Sometimes you can decide to plan a romantic adventure. You might decide that you want an afternoon quickie and that's okay too!

Not only does shared control give both partners the chance to be respected and in control, it also gives your man a good example of what you really like. They really like this, because when they are in control, they will feel like they can choose to do something you both like.

7. To Be Romanced

In our society, romance is often left up to the man. This would be an interesting way to do it, if each boy in the world were handed a real world manual on how to be romantic. Otherwise the only examples of romance are in the movies and most of them are unrealistic adventures. So most men are unaware of what it takes to woo you, or how to keep thing spiced up. By being the one to romance them, you can give them a good example of ways they can romance you in return. It's a starting place if nothing else.

On top of giving them a good example, there is no reason that they don't deserve to be romanced anyway. Not to mention, there is no man that doesn't enjoy the undivided attention from you. Buy them an inexpensive gift for no reason (and with no strings attached), tell them you love them on a regular basis, cook them a meal that you can eat outside with soft music playing, plan an adult adventure at home or somewhere else. You can get creative and the internet holds lots of ideas if you need some.

Summary

What men really want from a woman, is to be loved, respected and appreciated.

Treat them as you would want them to treat you.

Remember that for every flaw or annoyance you find in them, you have equal flaws and annoying habits that they have to put up with as well.

These are my experiences with what men want, mixed in with experiences of my male and female friends and family. They are not the whole puzzle, but some large pieces that you can put together in order to clearly see the rest of the big picture.

More by this Author


Comments 39 comments

prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 5 years ago from Canada

I agree with you on all of these points. Men do need unconditional love; they are often like little boys that way. They want someone to love them, and not give up them. Great hub!


BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl 5 years ago from Seattle Author

I'm glad you liked the hub! Thank you for the great feedback =)


Zury Dickinson profile image

Zury Dickinson 5 years ago from West Palm Beach, Florida

That was awesome. I am currently reading love & respect. I couldn't agree with you more on each point you made. Thanks for sharing.


BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl 5 years ago from Seattle Author

Definitely! Thanks for reading =)


philipandrews188 profile image

philipandrews188 5 years ago

Thanks for sharing, I really like it.


your cybersister profile image

your cybersister 5 years ago from Just relocated from Florida to the mountains of North Carolina

BizGenGirl - I agree with your hub and as I was reading through it I realized these are pretty much the same things that most women want from a partner. Interesting for sexes that are supposedly so different.


glorgeousmom profile image

glorgeousmom 5 years ago from Philippines

What you have mentioned are all true. So it is really important to get to know our partner deeper and better than what meets the eyes. Very informative. Voted up!


Joyette  Fabien profile image

Joyette Fabien 5 years ago from Dominica

Some really good thoughts for those just beginning... Well for some of the mature folks too.


KateWest profile image

KateWest 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Very nice.


Onelove 5 years ago

This is great advice. We sometimes get caught up about how we feel without considering what our spouses want and need, assuming we know what that is. Thanks for this.


fashion 5 years ago

Great hub.informative and helpful article here.


sugardaddyapparel profile image

sugardaddyapparel 5 years ago from Hong Kong

They're all very true! I wish I've read this earlier.

By reading this, I know there're lots of area I need to improve!

Thanks for awakening me!Great Hubs! =)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago

Good advice.


古日斯基 5 years ago

Makes sense!


Planet Magic 5 years ago from Huntingdon Valley, PA

I think it all depends on the man and the type of man he is.

Could it be that a man is simply looking for somebody to walk through life with, share in what they see, feel and experience, a partnership of simple love joined together on this, their journey together?

Of course it can't be so simple because each man and each woman is different, their wants and wishes also different. The real question is what do that man and woman want once they are together?


felicitylovespari profile image

felicitylovespari 5 years ago

I so love the article!..it's really true that men are often stereotyped..they are labeled as "womanizer".."user"...but what women don't know about them is that they just wanted to have a wonderful and great relationship with their girl. They always wished to have a perfect intimate relationship with the person that they love the most...but sad to know that some girls didn't know what to do to show their appreciation to their man..:(


Ramzeed profile image

Ramzeed 5 years ago from Maryland

great information. All it takes for a successful relationship is Love and apprriecation for one another. I believe if both parties have that for each other the trivial problems that most relationships suffer from would be no more.


etherdemon profile image

etherdemon 5 years ago from somewhere over the rainbow

I have to admit, I am impressed, most, if not all of those things are dead on for me. Thank you for not writing a stereotypical 'they want sex, the end'. Guide to men. It's a breath of fresh air to be reading something written by a woman that's not flooded with the kinds of BS that you see in magazines.


boyszz 5 years ago

how can I enjoy love to the best


htodd profile image

htodd 5 years ago from United States

Thanks for the great post..Nice


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

Nice Hub. Great information thanks for sharing.


Laureaann 5 years ago

wow...you pretty much summed up what I do to my fiancée. he always tells me I need to change and I refuse because Im so deadset in my ways, now i realize that while I do respect him, it is in my own way and he may not see it the same as I do. I guess communication is always the way to go. Thanx for the inspiring info, you may have just saved my future marriage to the man of my dreams!


SangHue profile image

SangHue 5 years ago

I like your advice!


An Santa Maria profile image

An Santa Maria 5 years ago from manila

very interesting.love it-thanks for sharing-


CyclingFitness profile image

CyclingFitness 5 years ago from Nottingham UK

Great hub. Can I also add that alot of men like to keep a degree of independance and a life of their own outside of a relationship. (and women like this too of course) which can help to keep things fresh.


TheExpertise profile image

TheExpertise 5 years ago

Great hub. Especially about the

Disrespectful Behavior: #5. Withholding Affection

The physiology of a women is quiet interesting

i go a little more in depth on my hub feel feel to read

http://theexpertise.hubpages.com/hub/Top-3-Questio...


dawney profile image

dawney 5 years ago from California

Great hub, enjoyed reading it. I too believe all this to be true. Some things are harder than others to remember but if you have a good man its totally worth it.


Jennie Demario profile image

Jennie Demario 5 years ago from Floating in the clouds

Agreed 100%. There are too many misconceptions about men and the way that they think. I feel like these misconceptions are almost derived from a woman's own self consciousness. Truth is, we judge our own physical appearances much more harshly than how men see us.


selfdefenselesson profile image

selfdefenselesson 5 years ago

Over explanation is such a big issue within relationships. It's really tough on some guys.

Yet a man needs to be a man and know how to cut the bullshit and take a seat down. Sometimes when a woman is frustrated and acts out illogically, it's not because you didn't wash the dishes. But usually there's another reason behind it.

Oh and don't forget about the emotional tantrums aka. test. Just to see how you'll react. If you freak out like a woman, well sir you didn't pass the test.


ninacrimaldi profile image

ninacrimaldi 5 years ago

Def good points to consider. The best way to figure what you man wants is to simply ask.


smzclark profile image

smzclark 5 years ago from cheshire

i really liked that. you basically made a run down of all the stuff i try to do daily and tell myself off regularly for not doing. it's nice to read that someone agrees that i'm atleast trying to do all the right stuff (even if success isn't always reached :-) )


UzyEyes profile image

UzyEyes 5 years ago

This is good and so TRuE!!


zzron profile image

zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

I would have to agree with everything you said about what men really want. Great observation.


Daniel Deepak profile image

Daniel Deepak 4 years ago from India

You are awesome! I really loved the hub. I agree with all your what men really want points..


Rick 4 years ago

Hey, I agree with your points as well. Now I'm not an expert on relationships, but everything you stated sounds right on target. As a man, I'll admit that having had a spouse that cheated on me, I truly desire a woman who will be faithful and also one that will be very emotionally attached to me and will show it through all aspects of love.

Great post!


BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl 4 years ago from Seattle Author

Yeah, anytime our mate cheats on us, whether we are men or women, it really burns. And the worst part is, it leaves lasting effects that follow us into our next relationships. So the more I can promote this article to other women like myself, hopefully the less infidelity there will be =)

Thanks for your comments everyone!


NotPC profile image

NotPC 4 years ago

Lot's of great advice! Thanks for sharing!


Emilian 4 years ago

Great advice i really hv learnt frm it a whole lot.thanks


MH 23 months ago

This is absolutely wonderful! It's all so true; and the best thing is how you have kept it so respectful and beautiful unlike all the other articles these days, which are mostly vulgar and dirty. Thanks a lot!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working