What Men and Women No Longer Need or Care to Know About Each Other.....It's All Fine.
Inspired by Susan
This particular hub was inspired after I read a delightful hub written by Susan Holland (one of our own talented authors, "sholland10").
Susan had published a hub entitled "What Men Should Know About Women." I can't help but thoroughly enjoy Susan's writing and this hub was no exception
I was pleased to discover that my comment to Susan's hub was well-received and made her laugh. I meant it to be humorous and was happy that she appreciated it. This is when she suggested I write a hub relating to my comments. I'm sure my comments were funny because as we know, things that most couples can relate to are comical because they're reality.
I happen to really enjoy discussing the nitty-gritty of everyday life and the ordinary interactions of couples everywhere. Let's face it, most successful comedians get their hugest laughs when doing stand-up to describe their marriage. If men and women couldn't laugh at one another and with one another, oh my, let's not even go there!
Continue connecting the dots
L O V E.........Never has a four-letter word been so powerful. My guess would be it is the number one emotion studied, researched, written about and put to music.
However, falling in love is merely the beginning to life's journey and continuance of our species. If love was just a means to peaceful existence of give and take, the caring and sharing of warm fuzzies everywhere, how simple it would be. I love you, you love me.......everybody loves everyone...kiss kiss, hug hug.
The way it actually is though is that human beings, by their very nature, have the knack of pairing off......creating a one on one bond a.k.a. relationship. I understand the current term for this amongst the young is "hooking-up." I cringe each time I hear that. My generation can conjure up some not-so-romantic scenarios for this crude phrase.
Hook-up?! Who SAYS that?
Whatever said my friends, this is where the fun begins.
Relationships especially marriage require work to remain in tact and flourish. If we're not keenly aware of this beforehand, we quickly learn. Not "work," in the sense of hard labor, but well, you know what I mean.
Referring back to Susan's hub, men and women genuinely try to please their mate in every way possible. We pay attention to detail and make mental notes. We read all those articles on keeping the love alive.
Let's face it. As the years go by and the children arrive, it's too easy to fall into the drone of daily life. There is maintaining your home, the bills, a 40-hour work week, the kids and school, illness, appointments ......and the bills. Did I mention paying the bills? We may pass one another going in and out and our discussions are anything but cozy romantic moments. At some point you're sure R2D2 is your real father.
Throughout the life of any relationship so much of it is trial and error.There are bound to be upsets, hassles and plenty of fighting. Yes, I said, "fighting."
Many of us don't quite make the deciding turn toward bliss with our first love interest or even the second. We don't give up or stop trying to get it right......with the right one.....for all the right reasons.
Understanding the opposite sex is an ongoing often frustrating tutorial, but you'll never make it if you drop the courses. There's Fighting Fair 101 (Business), Remembering Special Occasions (History), Balancing the Budget (Math), Raising Children (Sociology), and How to Light his/her Fire (Recreation)..... No, I did not say, "How to light him/her, on fire."
We like to please one another. Prepare their favorite meals, make each other laugh, appreciate, and help one another. We say nice things, encourage, and champion. Aren't we simply wonderful?
Yes, it's a lot to think about so much ado. That's the work I mentioned. It's worth it. Not only in the thick of things my friend, but luckily when you're well into the aging process and slowing down.......just a bit.
The Thrill of Being Over the Hill
My hope for everyone is that they come to embrace the natural aging process. Please believe it's not a disease....not even close. Nearing our later years brings more joy and comfort, I dare say, than most other stages in life.
This is when the pride and happiness of bringing our own children into the world is topped by being presented with grandchildren. A time when the fruits of our labors come into view and are ripe to enjoy. Trust completely that chronological age has little to do with our state of mind and freedom to go for the gusto.
While the love of learning should never wane, certain lessons have become second nature and there is simply nothing more to know that we haven't learned.
At the top of this list, is the struggle to understand and please your partner. I"ll confirm this for you based on personal awareness.
I Know all I need to know about Men.
If there's more to know, I don't care. My little notebook filled with facts and magic tricks is filled to the very last page. I keep it handy, but rarely open it anymore. It's etched in my mind. Should I forget a little thing or two, then I forget. I'm confident nothing disastrous will happen. If an issue arises, I'll get over it. We both will.
While my husband concedes he will never understand women in general, I can affirm, he's an ace at knowing me. And as most women will agree, a wife is the only woman a man needs to understand. Yes, we are that selfish.
At this point, our relationship is as transparent and strong as it's ever going to be. We read each other's minds, finish one another's sentences and can translate every facial expression and body movement.
Our schedules are in perfect sync but it wouldn't matter if they weren't. Every comment we make or suggestion we have, is met with one response. "Ok honey, that's nice."
We don't argue or fuss over anything. Hubby is long over caring that he's lost every difference of opinion. I have tired of being right, even when I'm wrong. It was fun while it lasted.....but now who cares who's right?
We know at this point, it simply is what it is.
We can look back and smile because whatever it was.. it's all OK now. ..The here and now is more precious than any yesterday. Tomorrow? That's the bridge we've learned to cross when we get there. He's in a grumpy mood and snarls at me? You guessed it. I smile and say, "O.K., honey, that's nice." This is also what he says to me when he's pretending to be listening. Hey, it works. I've seriously thought of printing up flash cards we can just hold up.
We don't feel the need to do cartwheels for the sake of each other's happiness. I know he's happy. He knows when I'm not happy, I'll be sure to frown and roll my eyeballs......and he'll pretend to not see it. He still believes in "she'll get over it," and he is now correct. I do get over it.
My Victoria's Secret has been donated to charity and replaced with Betty Boop flannels (what a pleasure to be warm and comfy.) Believe it or not he still thinks I'm sexy. I thank Heaven for vision changes.
He uses his razor less often and I don't care that he scratches me when he kisses me anymore. It's the kiss that matters.
No more "How To" books or Cosmo articles, no more back-bends and hand stands. We've proven ourselves and gone the distance. Grateful for it all. We know each other, love each other and we are happy.
It's nice to be here. It's the gift we struggled to give one another. The gift of knowing that the kindest thing you can say to your loved one is, "O.K. honey, that's nice.....it's all fine."
More by this Author
A realistic and thoughtful view as to why couples don't seem to be rushing to the altar these days.
The third, in a IV -Part Series of the story of one ordinary American woman, living through some extraordinary experiences, to emerge with strength, wisdom and a lesson of the powers within us all.
An in-depth look into the path of addiction, crimes, ignorance, neglect and sexual abuse, that lead toward the creation of a serial killer, who started out as an ordinary, innocent little girl.