What The Hell Do You Expect From me?
Having been born in the south I was under the impression that slavery was abolished with President Lincoln. After living for awhile and having gone through various relationships I have come to realize that this is not the case. There are many persons who whether in a relatioship or a job that is over-demanding are still in a state of servitutude.
I am a freelance writer, Executive Director of a Prison Reform organization, wife, mother, and SLAVE!! I am sure there are other both male and female who find themselves in the same situation.
My day begins at 6am when the child has to get up and get ready for school. You are tired or sick or whatever is conveinent at the time, so i also have to walk him to school. True it is only 1 and a half blocks but it is below freezing outside. I also have to pick him up in the afternoon which is not a joy either. After returning from this chore I have to fix you breakfast and serve it to you in bed, where you then leave the dishes for me to pick up later. This is only the beginning.
You get to leave the house and go to work and spend time with your co-workers. I am stuck in the house with all the chores, you don't even take out the garbage. I am alone for most of the day until our son comes home and I have a conversation with a 9 year old until you get home.
I used to write everyday. I consider myself a very talented writer and advocate for the organization I volunteer for. But you both seem to be the same, no matter how much I do it is never enough. You leave me in a sour mood every morning and what you don't accomplish in this field my friends on the board of directors seem to be able to finish for you. I just realized today that i haven't written an article in 4 months. But it is not enough for everyone. The house has to be cleaned, the laundry done, dinner prepared and so on and so on.
What the hell do you expect from me? Do you think that I don't need a life of my own, something that brings me joy and self-worth...like writing. Am I not supposed to have another part of my life that belongs just to me? Something that makes me feel special and useful? What the hell do you expect from me?
When you have given your all and you are drained, empty and void...what is left? Who takes care of me when I am sick, tired, or just had enough? I am left to fiend for myself.
Maybe I am to caring of a person, to sensitive, or maybe just to stupid. At any rate I am fed up. I know I can do better...I know I have a purpose in this life more than as a maid or a secretary.
The clothes and housework are done, the next board of directors meeting is setup...but its not enough. What the hell do you all expect from me?
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