What Will Your New Bride Say About Your Past When You . . .

Guys, you will not have to do this. Just be upfront.
Guys, you will not have to do this. Just be upfront. | Source
Your wife may get upset, but she cannot accuse you of hiding things from her.
Your wife may get upset, but she cannot accuse you of hiding things from her.

Ready?

Now for a very-controversial question: "Should a man tell his fiancé all of the secrets of his life before she came along?"

Some argue no. This is none of the new bride's concern while others agree with me for when the guy "tells all" to the new wife, this eliminates the threat of blackmail by a person of his past or a sticky situation when the newlywed couple meets one of his flaming-hot girlfriends at a 7-11 and he speaks to her.

Guys, you might have to endure a slap to the face, but hang in there. Being honest will help you in times to come.
Guys, you might have to endure a slap to the face, but hang in there. Being honest will help you in times to come. | Source
Guys, you might even get the 'not listening to you' gesture, but continue to be honest.
Guys, you might even get the 'not listening to you' gesture, but continue to be honest. | Source

Be honest. Be free.

I contend to those guys who are being controlled by a stubborn streak and not sharing one iota of their past with their gorgeous bride that you are "playing with dynamite." By you not coming clean to your wife-to-be, (not that you committed anything illegal) displays a selfish side of you that might get your butt burned by the "little woman" one day when you least expect it.

To be fair, I think that the new brides need to sit down with their new husbands and tell them about their torrid past and that way, both parties can be free from anything they did that they have regretted for years and tear down that "wall of shame" they have lived behind trying to have a normal life.

But now, I am only talking to the guys when I ask . . .

What Will Your New Bride Say About Your Past When You . . .

Honestly, you and her will yell at each other, but it will pass.
Honestly, you and her will yell at each other, but it will pass.
No matter if you have to get down on your stomach, keep telling your lovely bride the whole truth.
No matter if you have to get down on your stomach, keep telling your lovely bride the whole truth.
You and the new bride will have a time to just stare at each other, but you do not stop being truthful.
You and the new bride will have a time to just stare at each other, but you do not stop being truthful. | Source
Your new bride could get physical, but you just stay calm and honest.
Your new bride could get physical, but you just stay calm and honest. | Source
Your new bride might ignore you, but in years to come she will appreciate your honesty.
Your new bride might ignore you, but in years to come she will appreciate your honesty. | Source
Your new wife might find herself wondering if you are real or not, but that is a compliment to you for being honest with her.
Your new wife might find herself wondering if you are real or not, but that is a compliment to you for being honest with her. | Source
  • Dressed-up like an Oscar Meyer wiener and pranked "Tom" and "Julie," two friends of yours who you and some friends pranked on their wedding night.
  • "Streaked" through a tent revival held in your hometown.
  • Made a lot of prank calls to "her" dad. Your new bride's dad.
  • Rode in a car with a lot of your buddies throwing raw eggs at innocent citizens.
  • Put sugar in a few school busses' gas tanks.
  • Got drunk one Saturday night and charged on stage at a strip club and you stripped.
  • Said the wrong thing at an all-night TARGET store and some pettite lady beat the crap out of you.
  • Took a dare to stick your head underneath a bucket of raw sewage.
  • Sneaked a Van Halen CD in your church's sound system.
  • Got drunk on another Saturday night and pranked your pastor saying that "you" were the devil.
  • Go so drunk one Fourth of July and passed out in your courthouse square underneath the statue of Abe Lincoln making the speech, The Gettysburg Address.
  • Took another drunken dare and caused a dangerous cow stampede on a farm out of town.
  • Rode in a drunken stupor nude atop a milk cow through your downtown area on a Saturday morning.
  • Got high on "weed" and broke into your local radio station while a DJ was on the air and you cursed-out your boss and called him a vulgar name over the air.
  • Got yourself three days in jail by giving your local police two huge boxes full of bacon, fat back, and pig's feet to remind them of their nick name given to them in the 60's by the hippies.
  • Got yourself another stretch in jail by dressing as a police officer and stopping traffic for annoying periods of time.
  • Made several prank calls to the local office of the F.B.I. giving them a guy's name you hated and calling them several vulgar names.
  • Went with a few buddies on a wild rampage through a huge supermarket wrecking soft drink displays and throwing produce at each other until the angry manager chased you out with a fire extinguisher.
  • Took yet another dare to get a job at your local fast food joint and when you took orders, you spiked each soft drink with whiskey.
  • You were the employee who got fired the quickest in the same fast food joint by coating the booth seats with Super Glue.
  • Turned a herd of small pigs loose in the Methodist Church worship service one Wednesday night.

"I'm outta here, jerk!"

Did your new bride really say that?

Dude, don't feel bad. At least you were honest.

Guys, do not be like the guy in this video. Tell your new bride about EVERY girlfriend you had.

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Comments 2 comments

word55 profile image

word55 20 months ago from Chicago

Hey Ken, this one was very entertaining. All she needs to do is ask me what she wants to know and I will tell or if situations present themselves then I will divulge information. I don't think it would be wise to confess about a past that should remain where it is (forgotten). I'm not one to want to hear confessions as well unless situations are presented but if they never come up then that's all the more better. Keep them coming.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 20 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

word55,

Hello, my good friend, up there in Chicago! How are you? I haven't heard from you in a long time. I have missed you.

I agree with you up to an extent, but my main point was for either party of a marital union to start off clean and no secrets just in case one of them should meet an old flame and be grilled later.

Thanks for your time in reading and commenting.

I wish for you a peaceful night and day.

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