What are the benefits of living together before marriage(cohabitation)? Are there consequences and moral implications?

Now how would you think this True-To-The-Bone Roman Catholic is going to answer this request? A real dillema I am sure.

Before you enter a life of primiscuity let's take a look at life from a different point or view. Before you enter into any of life's challenges you would prepare yourself for any onslaught you may come across in your adventure. Before you entered college you built a basic foundation of education at high school. Although the lower grades seem to be of little significance they too were the fundamentals you needed for high school or junior college.

When preparing for a lifelong relationship with the one you love is no different. It has to be practically experienced no matter how the world may look at it.

You decide you need to get married but from hearing your friends continually bickering about their marriages you become anxious and don't want to hurt or be hurt in the process. Being hurt is the process of growing up and a learning experience. Very few marriages succeed without there being hurt of some kind in the relationship.

Your courtship during the period before marriage is of vital importance. This is the period to really get to know your partner. While courting does it always give you everything you need to know? On the contrary. Sometimes we need to live together to get to know your spouse to be and it has its added advantages. You get to enjoy each other more as well.

Co Habitation has and is becoming more a way of life now than ever before. It removes the worries of marriage breakups and even divorce us do part at a later stage. A very messy afair indeed.

My opinion, even as a staunch catholic, is staying together before marriage (or cohabitation as we all understand), is virtually your duty to your spouse to show commitment. If there are problems you will be given time to sort them out. And if it doesn't turn out as you expected you break it cleanly and with a mutual understanding. Divorce can be both destructive and messy and should be avoided at all costs.

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babarushe profile image

babarushe 7 years ago

Thanks for your opinion. I am doing a work on cohabitation in my country because it is becoming a very serious issue.

I need to get other peoples'perspective.

http://monyontrees.blogspot.com


jcd302 profile image

jcd302 7 years ago from Clarksville, MI

I made these same comments on another hub...

Mark Grunger has a DVD series, "Laugh your way to a better marriage" that addresses this issue in a portion of it.

He is very funny and makes you think about why things are the way they are between men & women. And yes it is based on Biblical teachings.


Debbie 7 years ago

I totally agree...


Kathryne R.  6 years ago

Why should a person get married and what is in it for the individual? A new belief is that a person can test out cohabitation and test to see if the relationship works out. There are a lot of costs of cohabitation before marriage. To get the greatest benefit of living with another person marriage is the best option. Testing by cohabitation does not profit marriage in the long run statistically speaking. There is no research to support the benefits of premarital cohabitation.

There is a cost to premarital cohabitation. Research shows that people who cohabitate first and marry later are more likely to divorce. Pennsylvania State researchers warn, “"A weak commitment to lifelong marriage and less attention to communication skills during cohabitation may carry over into marriage and make couples more vulnerable to the inevitable challenges that couples face over time." A lower level of commitment may carry over into the marriage or may lead to no marriage at all. There is no research supporting benefits of cohabitation but there is a great deal supporting marriage.

Sex without a marriage license is one motive for cohabitation. However, research shows that sex is better in marriage than in cohabitation. When a couple commits to each other they are more likely to be comfortable and confident because there partner has committed their entire lives to them. Marital sex has the benefit that partners have a greater commitment to be faithful to each other. They have made a social contract that promises them to be sexual intimate with only each other. When spouses commit to each in marriage first instead of cohabitation they do not have to worry if their sex skills will compare the last person their partner. They get the assurance that they can give their entire selves to their spouse.

With sharing their lives together they have a great support system. There is unwritten marital health insurance. When a spouse gets sick they have someone else who is committed to care for them during their lives entire together. Having that sort of support system provides a sense of confidence in marriage. A spouse can also observe another spouse and check and see if they need to visit the doctor. A person is more committed to listen to their spouse’s recommendation than to a cohabitating partner. Statistically married people live much longer than single, widowed, or divorced people. Marriage can extend lives.

There are also economic benefits to marriage. According to the National Marriage Project article “The State of Our Unions,” those who never marry have a 73% reduction in wealth in contrast to those who are continuously married. Marriage being a long term contract has it’s financial benefits. If you are planning to be together with that person for a lifetime, you’ll only have to invest in one set of furniture, one TV, one microwave. There is less worry about who takes the TV if this relationship goes wrong. When married according to Dr. Linda Waite and Maggie Gallager people only need 30% more money to support two married person than the amount of money needed to support one individual single person. Married partnership allow for specialization of talents.

Marriage provides the opportunity to focus in and specialize. A partnership comes with two different people that have different talents, abilities and preferences. When two people are married they can rely on a combined pool of talents. They don’t have to worry about what they need to know should they divorce. A wife may be really good a working on the cars whereas the husband is a better cook. A husband may enjoy cooking so he can focus in on healthy meals while the wife can focus on fixing the cars or the random problems around the house. By being married they have the assurance of a constant spouse who can help them in the areas where they lack.

Marriage provides social support. Through marriage a person always has someone able to help in times of trials and affliction. Marriage has the additional support of extended family by legally combined two different families. It provides the support system of the parents and relatives of each spouse. A daughter or son-in law becomes a greater part of the family than a live in boyfriend or girlfriend. They are far more embraced because they are legally tied together and committed. It gives a social support someone to come home to and talk with. Marriage provides a constant companion that can serve as an ongoing friend.

Marriage also provides a greater meaning in life. It offers a purpose besides work and other obligation. Marriage changes a purpose to caring and helping another individual. A marriage couple can work together on their tasks and obligation. As children come the new role is to be a supportive parent. They provide a constant companion to rely upon.

Cohabitation leads to instability and inconsistency in life. Establishing a home, sexual intimacy, and life that is dependent on sharing with someone that may end the relationship, leaves cohabiting couples on shaky and uncertain foundation. The future is less determined because individuals don’t know where they’ll will live if the relationship goes sour. The emotional whiplash that comes from cohabitating relationships ending is amplified when unpacking your belongings and crashing with friends or moving back in with parents.

Marriage is best. Cohabitation may serve brief gratification of immediate wants but the long lasting benefits of life time commitments can only be provided through marriage.


lanie j. 6 years ago

tnx for some info... i really don't know if what is good, living together before marriage or not,... actually i just need some info for our debate in one of our subject LOGIC.. fortunatelly or not i belong with the pro live in before marriage group.. again thank you for the info.. hehehe :)


Jennifer 6 years ago

Do people seriously make their decisions and beliefs based on studies? So like, if someone has not gotten around to testing a theory, you are going to just shun it? Bad idea.

Marrying immediately is taking a big risk, it is ignorant. Who says your going to have sex while living together, huh?!?! Don't ASSume. Cohabitation can involve living in separate rooms and sleeping in separate beds, if necessary. It is a chance to see how your significant other lives their life, how much he/she cleans (or does not, which is good to know before you are choosing to be stuck with them forever by marriage!), if he/she brushes his/her teeth daily (for example, if that is a deal breaker for you if they generally don't, or if hygiene in general is important to you in a spouse, and they choose to not tell you that information, this way you can find out for yourself), et cetera! If it does not work out, you can 'break up ' instead of having a wedding with all that promise of "I love you" and instead of disappointing your entire family.

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