What is the difference between falling in love and loving?

Love is an emotional matter

If one partner is more in love than the other and the one who loves more insists on reciprocity to the same degree...
If one partner is more in love than the other and the one who loves more insists on reciprocity to the same degree...
the other person feels stifled and suffocted, all kinds of negative behaviour starts creeping in...jealousy, possessivness and paranoia.
the other person feels stifled and suffocted, all kinds of negative behaviour starts creeping in...jealousy, possessivness and paranoia.
.jealousy, possessivness and paranoia...
.jealousy, possessivness and paranoia...
Those who were deprived in earlier life of love, emotional sustenance, praise or attention ...
Those who were deprived in earlier life of love, emotional sustenance, praise or attention ...
 tend to grow up more dependent on others for their good feeling and self-esteem.
tend to grow up more dependent on others for their good feeling and self-esteem.
They tend to love blindly and endow the loved one with God-like qualities.
They tend to love blindly and endow the loved one with God-like qualities.
The rose coloured glasses simply never come off even in the face of harsh reality and everyday life.
The rose coloured glasses simply never come off even in the face of harsh reality and everyday life.
People with lack of self value tend to fall in for obsessive love or love addiction.
People with lack of self value tend to fall in for obsessive love or love addiction.
Emotional hunger can never be fed by others.
Emotional hunger can never be fed by others.
Celebrate your diversity, insist on being contradictory, your contrast make your a complex and fabulous individual.
Celebrate your diversity, insist on being contradictory, your contrast make your a complex and fabulous individual.
Someone you are in love with is not superior to you or far more wonderful...
Someone you are in love with is not superior to you or far more wonderful...
neither do you need anyone to stand up for you, speak up for you or make you feel special...
neither do you need anyone to stand up for you, speak up for you or make you feel special...
you have all the qualities you admire in others.
you have all the qualities you admire in others.
Do not look for people who reflect your opposite areas, that way you prevent your own growth.
Do not look for people who reflect your opposite areas, that way you prevent your own growth.
You need to find the confident part of yourself or any of your other polarities.
You need to find the confident part of yourself or any of your other polarities.
Experience love and life fully but don't let it to control you as an addiction does.
Experience love and life fully but don't let it to control you as an addiction does.
For an addition to be present, it needs to take over your life. You have to hand over your power to it...
For an addition to be present, it needs to take over your life. You have to hand over your power to it...
allow it to make you feel dependent upon it for strength, self-esteem and a sense of value.
allow it to make you feel dependent upon it for strength, self-esteem and a sense of value.
Whether it's love or soemthing else, we surely don't want to lose control over ourselves to that extent.
Whether it's love or soemthing else, we surely don't want to lose control over ourselves to that extent.
Always hold on your power and trust that everything you want will come to you...
Always hold on your power and trust that everything you want will come to you...
without you sacrificing your integrity or compromising your identity.
without you sacrificing your integrity or compromising your identity.

Allow yourself to dream

to trust

your emotions,

to be carried away

with the adventure

of falling in love.


For five and half months

let your hormones lead you

to that enchanting place

where feelings feel more magical,

living so intense

even realists become artists

in this exaggerated state.


You are blind

to anything and anyone

except your beloved one

no end to this wonder

is imaginable.


In the first flush of passion

there is a glow

about you,

suddenly you feel

and you are

very attractive,

invincible

and magical.

Enjoy every minute

of that special time

when everything is possible,

but be aware

the time is ticking by

when the stage

of rose coloured glasses

ends

and you suddenly see

the world

in an ordinary way

again,

it causes quite a shock,

the disappointment

can even make

the person of your desire

undesirable.


Have you been stung by the love bug?

Living in a real world

with a romantic illusion

a false impression,

a fantasy?

Your inability to think

of anything but...

Your heart beats fast

each time you see

wanting only to do

what pleases

and listening to every word

of 'the only one'.


'The only one',

who appears to have qualities

you think you lack,

who reminds you of someone

so close

you once feel secure with

in your childhood home.


'The only one',

you hear about

in countless love songs,

romantic poems

and social ideals.

You believe

in order to be happy

you need to find your mate

to feel complete.


When you come back

crashing to earth

at a thudding rate

with eyes bruised

rose coloured glasses

smashed

heart broken

you become

disillusional,

emotionally guarded

even cynical,

fully aware

the perfect person

of your dreams

does not exist.


Once you realize,

you are alone,

but you are safe,

you start to praise yourself,

value yourself

and love yourself

as a complete human being.


Love is not actually something,

we get from outside world,

like inner joy,

sexual energy,

creativity and spirituality,

love is part of our make-up,

a natural birthright

and always available.


You carry love with you

everywhere you go,

That is love affair with life,

you can hold onto forever.

It will not let you down

as people can,

because none of us

is perfect

and cannot be responsible

for the happiness of others.


Love will creep up,

again and again,

when you least expect it.

Allow yourself to dream,

take a ride on wings of love.

You are not desperate

anymore

and needy,

you are alive,

enjoying your own

self-loving journey.

You will know,

the real love,

turning inwards

as much as out,

shares and doesn't demand,

given freely

enjoyed by both.

Friendly,

respectful

and full of joy.


Once you feel the real love,

let it develop

in its own time,

for like a fine wine,

true feelings

need nurturing and space.


True lovers know

each of them

is complete

and perfect in themselves.

They don't need each other

to feel fullfilled

just life is better when shared.


Falling in love

is just a dream.

Loving is everything.

More by this Author


Comments 71 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Your words are right on and beautiful, as are the pictures and their captions. Some serious wisdom here my friend and I'm very glad I stopped by.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

Lovely poem and pics as usual.

It seem to me the difference between Being in Love and Loving is the first is often selfish and immature whereas loving - without getting anything in return except the joy of loving itself only comes with maturity.

I am sure that love is the glue which holds this world together - although it may be loosing.

Bob


flashmakeit profile image

flashmakeit 4 years ago from usa

Breathtaking poem and concept about love.


mperrottet profile image

mperrottet 4 years ago from Pennsauken, NJ

I love your perspective that love is part of our birthright and always available - beautifully put. Once again, another brilliant hub - thanks!


djeff37 profile image

djeff37 4 years ago from Converse, TX

I agree with the poem and might comment that both being in love and loving somebody are both selfish. Being in love, may hope and wish for reciprocation, truly loving somebody it makes no difference whether there is reciprocation but it is welcome. Loving somebody does take a degree of maturity and being in love takes a degree of reckless abandon. To borrow the name of one of Jane Austen's books, it is the difference between "Sense and Sensibility".


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I agree. Love is wonderful and sometimes it crashes, but to love living is the key. Great write..Enjoyed.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Your family photos are so nice and they compliment your poem's topic perfectly. I agree that loving is a learned experience and one that will prove more worthwhile in your relationships.


kj force profile image

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

Enjoyed the hub..very interesting take on the subject.

I personally feel in order to love someone, you must first love yourself, otherwise you are merely in love with the " word". Many go through life never knowing real love..what a waste..loved the pics.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

I really enjoyed reading and learning from this hub. Thanks!


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you, again, my fellow hubbers for stopping by and take a look on my ' scattered thoughts' about this 'heartfull topic we like to write about, make music or art the most.

First thought there is nothing more to add, but seeing from your replies there is always something more we can say...love is just the bottomless well not only to feel but also to discuss...thank you again:)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. Great and expressive. Loving is everything followed by caring and giving.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Falling in love is about connecting to another at the soul. Love can be a bit different than that.

The Frog


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

thanks my fellow hubber for adding up to our 'botomless well reflecting everything about love', dear Frog some would agree with you and some would not, it all depends on your experiences you have with 'falling in love':)


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Beata - Exactly and I accept that.


krsharp05 profile image

krsharp05 4 years ago from 18th and Vine

Very poetic and beautiful :)


MYWIKISTEP 4 years ago

Quite poetic, but also inspiring.

Love=Life as well, don 't you think?


Sueswan 4 years ago

Falling in love can be scary especially when there is no one there to catch you.

Loving is being there for each other through life's ups and downs.

Voted up and beautiful.

Take Care


Lipnancy profile image

Lipnancy 4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

Very powerful words of wisdom. Thankyou so much for this hub.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

thank you, my dear fellow hubbers for adding your wise pearls of wisdom to 'our bottomless love well' and all the best to you wherever you are:) Love life and the most of all yourself...and everything works out to the best at the end:)


Sooner28 4 years ago

Love is beautiful. It could cure all of our problems if we should all embrace it! Great poem.


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

'Falling in love' is infatuation. Love is knowing, and allowing, for another's failings.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 4 years ago from Central Florida

This poem speaks to my heart! However, I do live thru rose-colored glasses. However, those who obscure my vision are soon out of my life. You are so right that you don't need another to be complete or worthy. This poem is one I could have written myself, as it speaks of the strength of self. Always, always be true to yourself! If the shoe doesn't fit, don't try to squeeze in!


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

So true, 'Sooner', but there is a big difference about knowing something, if only in deep down and acting up on it:)

Beautifully said, 'Alancaster', something to add to our 'bottomless love well of people's wisdom and experiences'.

Yes, 'bravewarrior', from your profile name I guess you are strong and independent person, who knows the value of self and love fully but without compromising. It took me a long, long time to get there, but the 'rocky road' was worth of travelling on:)


Vellur profile image

Vellur 4 years ago from Dubai

Beautifully written. Loving yourself is very important. I enjoyed all the lines. The last two stanzas stole my heart.Voted up. Awesome.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you Vellur for stopping by and leaving me such a beatiful comment, keep loving and keep writing:)


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Bang on target! and that too so beautifully achieved!

The exact difference between falling in love and loving

Beautiful work!


Cathleena Beams profile image

Cathleena Beams 4 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

Though our views on love differ a little, I enjoyed reading this poem immensely. You have a way with words and an insight and maturity that shines vibrantly through, inspires others and exposes your strength.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

thanks Rahul and Cathleena, for your honest and inspiring comments. I am very happy dear Cath, that you have a different point of view, it would be boring if we would just agree on everything, that is the best part of hubpages: 'to learn to agree to disagree':)


rdsparrowriter profile image

rdsparrowriter 4 years ago

It's so true and beautiful :) God bless you!


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thanks 'redsparrow and a great writer' as well:) Happy you liked it and all the best with your hubbing:)


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

Spot on, beautifully written, and very philosophical! Definitely a true poem, Beata :)


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you so much, KD, for finding time to stop by and most importantly to 'classify my scattered images in my mind' in poetic category. I have tried to 'fill it in some box' myself but then just gave up...I can't name what I write, how I write, I just know I can not write any other way:)


jennzie profile image

jennzie 4 years ago from Lower Bucks County, PA

Lovely poem and beautiful pictures as well.

Voted up & beautiful!


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you, Jen, for stopping by, happy you liked it....all the best with your hubbing and looking forward to hear from you again:)


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

Dreams are very frightful because people live in them so much that they fail to realize the reality around them. I still cannot get enough of this poem :)


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you 'KDuBarry03', it is good to know that my little thoughths and images are really useful for someone:) All the best my fellow hubber and keep hubbing, living and reflecting on life well lived:)


Darkproxy profile image

Darkproxy 4 years ago from Ohio

Well I honestly have to say that when I fell in love with my girlfriend, I just wanted to be with her, hear her voice, and smell her presence. The thing is that I never ever wanted to provide for a woman in my life, but now I am constantly at ends with myself over this subject. I think that loving means who you are and what you believe changes because now you are not just a single being going about your life. You have connections and ties that make you change. You are by far one hell of a hubber I just hope you like some of my stuff


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you 'Darkproxy' for your honest and insightful comment, thank you for inviting me 'behind your close door' to share your wisdom with me:) You are right, love has no borders and doesn't fit into any category, therefore people struggle so often to fullfil expectation of their over-judgmental, small-minded environment and are forced to sacrifice love...You are who you are and love gives you wings to go to places where you would never dare to go by yourself and you are better for it:)


Apology4Wolves profile image

Apology4Wolves 4 years ago from Kentucky

Rubbing her feet to get in her pants is falling in love. Rubbing her feet because they are sweaty and cold; that's love.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Great comparision, dear admirer of wolves, thanks for stopping by:)


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Beautiful, beautiful write regarding loving and being loved. I so enjoyed the photos you selected as well. I am an admirer of your poetry.

Voting up


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you so much my new fellow hubber, keep reading and I will keep writing:)


ashish04joshi profile image

ashish04joshi 4 years ago from India

I've always thought about it a bit differently.

For me, it's 'love' only when you 'fall' in love....and I relate it to falling of our 'ego' when we are truly in love.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

It's great interpretation of falling in love, dear Ashi, each of us has their own unique way to look at things, no one way is right way, neither is mine...it is just one of myriad of interpretations and I love any discussion that comes my way:)


ashish04joshi profile image

ashish04joshi 4 years ago from India

very true...

everyone has his/her own interpretations.

And 'love' in itself is a tough nut to crack.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

That must be the reason why people love to ponder about it so much:)


baygirl33 profile image

baygirl33 4 years ago from Hamilton On.

Beata,your hub makes so much sense and I loved the pics! Your words are so very true and so well written.

Thank you for writing.

you should post this to Facebook.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thanks baygirl33, I post it regularly on Facebook on my wall, every new one I write:) You are happy to share it wherever you like...more readers...more reason to write:) Thanks my feloow hubber for your kind response and looking forward to hear from you again:)


yoginijoy profile image

yoginijoy 4 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

Hi Beata, I loved this poem! It is so true and shows that you are truly wise, aware living mindfully. I enjoyed reading it. Voting it beautiful and awesome (and up of course!). Take care!


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you, yoginijoy, your encouraging comment means lots to me, especially because I have just started to practise yoga regularly:)


WhydThatHappen profile image

WhydThatHappen 4 years ago from California

I love the topic you went with- that dividing line between falling in love and loving. I think you did an excellent job of putting forward your ideas on the topic.

As a side note, is drawing those little distinctions a habit for you as well? people tend to think i'm argumentative because of it! lol


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Dear 'WhydThatHapen' thank you for your kind approval of my writing, sorry if I sound vague but what do you mean ' by my little distinctions'? Please, clarify if you can, if you have a feeling that I have written something unworthy of you, I appologize, it was not done by purpose:) Anyway, I believe good arguments and good debate are essential for maintaining good hub community spirit, I am not afraid of negative comments if they are truthful and constructive:)


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 4 years ago from london

Loving is an umbrella. Falling in love takes shelter beneath the umbrella. They are eternal friends. One is free, the other isn't.

Funny, 'falling in love' is also free. I go to sleep, and I wake up, through Grace, in 'eternal sweet communion'. I have fallen in Love.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Beautifully said, manatita, it is all in our perception:) B


Elskemek profile image

Elskemek 4 years ago

I absolutely LOVE it!


Tonipet profile image

Tonipet 4 years ago from The City of Generals

This is beautiful Beata. To fall in love is a very beautiful thing and loving is the feeling and action that makes love go round. Thanks for this.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

thank you, my fellow hubbers for stopping by and happy your visit was worthwhile:)


Shanaaya profile image

Shanaaya 4 years ago from Mauritius

so beautifully written...each and every word is true :) no doubt you described that wonderful feeling wonderfully :) god bless xxxx


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you, dear Shanaaya for finding time to stop by and leaving me such a beautiful and kind comment, have a great weekend my fellow hubber and keep loving, living and of course hubbing:)


Eunice Stuhlhofer profile image

Eunice Stuhlhofer 4 years ago

A beautiful poem. Voted! This love thing is quite elusive at times. I love your pictures and the way they blend in with your writing. Nice to meet you. Thanks for the follow and fan mail. Blessings.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 4 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you, Eunice, happy you liked it, have a great day, my fellow hubber and keep living and loving:)


Barbsbitsnpieces profile image

Barbsbitsnpieces 3 years ago from Napoleon, Henry County, Ohio, USA

@Beata Stasak...You share interesting thoughts and feelings on love.

A friend recently shared this thought with me, and I quite agree: True love is neither physical nor romantic. It is an acceptance of all that is.

When a man asked his friend why he continued to visit his nursing home-confined wife who was afflicted by Alzheimer's and no longer knew him, the friend replied, "Because I still know who she is."


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 3 years ago from Western Australia Author

Beautiful my fellow hubber, I agree totally with these two priceless statements you have been kind to share with me:)


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 3 years ago

Very lovely!! thanks for the mail, btw. I appreciate you stopping by. I agree with so much of this hub.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 3 years ago from Western Australia Author

Thank you for taking your time to read my hub, happy it was useful in some way and all the best:)


rainpurplewine profile image

rainpurplewine 3 years ago from ATLANTA,Ga

Thanks so much for this hub, it's a beautiful representation of love. We are actually the love we seek and loving ourselves,gives us a chance to love others.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 3 years ago from Western Australia Author

Very beautifully and cleverly summary of what is love all about:) Thank you, my fellow hubber and all the best:)...B


padmendra profile image

padmendra 3 years ago from DELHI/NCR

Hi, You have the skill of summarizing and editing the subject in a concise and exciting way. The beautiful feeling of love for someone is presented without being flowery or fanciful in style. This actualizes your potential . Thanks for sharing your clean and pure feeling of love for someone who is very closed to your heart.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 3 years ago from Western Australia Author

thank you padmendra, I always look closely at my feelings and examine them under the microscope of my mind, just like scientists look at the traces of life in a tiny piece of dead cell. Believe me I bring my loved ones to the total exhaustion with this one...but then as my close friend, mathematemician once told me, you are able to withstand any pain if you learn to understand why it is there and there is no loving without pain:)


sminut13 profile image

sminut13 3 years ago from singapore

thanks for sharing such a wonderful and expressive poem. i might not know how to write like that and at times, i might not even understand some feelings, but in my personal opinion, just to share, falling in love has more of taking and feeling, loving has more of giving and feeling. in simple terms of course, and some might have differing opinions, but to each his own. everyone has their own thoughts and that's good.


Beata Stasak profile image

Beata Stasak 3 years ago from Western Australia Author

thank you my new fellow hubber for your beautiful comment, there is no right or wrong answers, the same like there is not better or worse hubber, I was blessed with the gift of expressive language although English is not my first language, but fellow hubbers just like you have embraced me and my gift and I am very grateful to all of you for encouraging me to keep writing, because it is something I really like to do...except travelling:)

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