What is worse: Long Term Unemployment or Divorce?

Yes, I know, there are many things in life that are bad, horrible, and there IS something always worse in one's personal life, but still, either of these two topics are among them. Both are major blows to one's life, each causing stress and angst that is hard to describe to those who have never experienced either. But, what if, a person (and I am sure there are some) is going through both simultaneously? Call it it the "shaft" or "Double whammy" but on the face of it, which is worse than the other?

Divorce can be a horror starting from the moment one party demands the other move out. from that point on, anything goes and there are many avenues it can go down - some predictable others expectant. If real estate, money and kids are involved, it can become a web of venom between the two persons. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that they loved one another or slept together. The once trusty relationship has now become a to and fro of maneuvers soaked in deceit or uncooperative positions. Lawyers tend to make it all worse under the guise of "the best for their client", while true, it can be more destructive than necessary. Simple divorces fair much better in the realm of salvaging a relationship with the Ex. That is usually because there is not much worth fighting over.

Long term unemployment is equally devastating to one's worth and self, especially when it lasts over a year and more. No matter how much one tries to explain circumstances in an interview, it mostly fall s on deaf ears with little empathy. The person's skills get rusty or obsolete, they run out of funds or savings, if married, it can make the marriage fail. If that occurs, how much more bad can life get? Well, it can. Being long term unemployed also creates isolation from the general workforce, which can damage the self ego tremendously. But, perhaps the worse is no income and after a year or more (except for unemployment) puts most into a panic mode.

Because of this last reason, I think being one of the long term unemployed would be the worse of two evils. It is not to minimize a divorce, but depending on its circumstances, at least a person with employment still has self worth, income, and less loneliness.

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nevjn 4 years ago

Well,I thought this problem years ago when I just broke up with my girl. Divorce is in a way that likes heart bleeding; long term unemployment makes you empty! They are different categorys.If I have to tell you which is worse,it would be long term unemployment,'Cause empty is the worst thing !By the way, if there anyone wanna out of the divorce situation ,have a try to cougarsterc0m, a good dating club!

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saitam 4 years ago from Lisbon

Nice hub, with an interesting thought.

Never thought about that, and after reading, I agree with you. However it is not a great comparison since a Divorce is like a being cut by something and then you recover (or try), long term unemployment starts to be like a disease that you can not get out of you, taking all your energy.

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perrya 4 years ago Author

Thanks for the responses. I tend to agree with both of you. On the same page. The analogy that unemployment is like a disease is perfect, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to recover because of events outside your personal control even with a good resume.

aethelthryth profile image

aethelthryth 4 years ago from American Southwest

I think divorce is worse, especially if there are kids, because it is a poison in family relations for generations to come, whereas as far as I've seen, though a year feels like forever when unemployed, unemployment rarely lasts many years, and in any case its major effects are definitely over by the end of the life of the person involved.

perrya profile image

perrya 4 years ago Author

It does depend a lot on the age of the kids, how the parents handle custody. It can be nasty or not-just depends. The lasting impact of a divorce on kids, again, depends on the same two issues. Long term unemployment can last more that a year into today's economy and again, if things are stacked against you, I can see how it is diseases-like. Think, a woman with a MA, 60 yrs, laid off 18 mos. ago, unemployment gone, savings and retirement being drained rapidly. A slow death like many cancer's are.

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aethelthryth 4 years ago from American Southwest

Actually, I wasn't thinking of the kids. I was thinking of my great-grandfather's divorce and the effect there still is today on the two parts of the family....

And yes, I am extremely familiar with drained savings: currently my husband and I are past middle age and have $0 for retirement. However, we still have health, jobs (about 3/4 of a job between the 2 of us) and optimism. Not dead yet.

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perrya 4 years ago Author

health is worth a million bucks, but, unfortunately, that does not pay monthly bills.

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