What this Woman Wants
OK, let's just start by exploring the title: What this woman wants. Some may think that it implies that I am not your average stereotypical woman with the desire of marriage and two children etc.. Or does it? Shouldn't every man ask himself what this woman wants before going on to try to have a relationship with her? To be honest boys, if you can even half work this out somewhere near the beginning then it will save you screaming this question inside your own heads later when she dumps you for doing something wrong.
Now, this wrong may be wrong to her but worked a charm on your last girlfriend; hence the confusion. I for one, am a complete hypocrite and a major puzzle when it comes to what I want in a relationship. Many men think that love is always what a girl wants to hear.
I love romantic comedies, I want marriage and children in the future and would enjoy taking care of my husband. On the other hand, my career and exploring the world is also very much on the agenda and I seriously doubt that true endless love can exist between a man and a woman. This is why, if a guy says those big three words that I seem to have a complete aversion to; I sharply say goodbye. Is that mean? Probably, but in my eyes it is very necessary. I don't fall in love any more, my eyes have been opened to reality. This is why it is best to end things as soon as possible. It avoids hurting them any more than necessary. It's like ripping off a plaster (band aid), it stings a little but the quicker it's over and done with the better! Don't get me wrong, I get crushes on guys and think about them a lot or whatever but love... hmm can you tell that I eagerly avoid that word?
So, what do I look for in a future partner? Well I'll be leaving the big love stories to the movies and books, I learnt the hard way. I was very stupid once upon a time but not so much now. I want trust, companionship, respect, friendship, sexual chemistry and someone who is willing to take care of me as much as I take care of them. For me, this is perfect. Every relationship needs work but one built on friendship and trust, makes everything so much easier. If they respect me then they will treat me well and respect even if they don't understand my beliefs.
Once I make that final commitment of marriage, divorce is not an option any more. I feel that it is important for couples to remove that as an option because it means that you have to work at it and if you put in everything and so does your partner then you can stay together and be relatively happy. It is only when one or both partners start to lose respect or trust for the other, amongst other things, that cause them to drift apart. If they beat one another then this is disrespect. If they cheat, this is both the breaking of trust and also shows disrespect. You see where I am going with this? If both myself and my partner come from the same side on keeping the foundation of our marriage strong then we have a good chance of working out. Some may think I am being naive but really, it is mostly in the mind, if a marriage is going to work.
Many of you may be asking the question, but how can you intend on getting married without love?!!! (My friend Kim doesn't understand my theory either) The answer is simple, the above results in what older people often call love, this I believe in. However, someone plaguing my thoughts every minute of every day etc. or an on off on off relationship, to me is infatuation/obsession/lust/wishful thinking/being too scared to walk away and many other things. This is not the love nor the lifestyle I seek. It may be right for some but I guess I'm just a little cynical and I would most definitely prefer to pass thank you.