Whispers of Wishes and Dreams

 

I  had given up on wishes.  Given up so many times, I had forgotten that I had wishes.  But, I did have wishes.  Wishes to be rich.  Wishes to be beautiful.  Wishes to be loved.  Wishes to be happy.  Wishes, Wishes and more Wishes.  I would make a wish before blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, and to come true you couldn't tell anyone or speak before taking that first bite of cake. Looking up into the early twilight skies I would search for that first star to make a wish.  Search the night sky for the ever elusive falling star for the possibility of making a wish come true.  Throw a coin in a fountain and make a wish.  Make a wish while blowing dandelion seeds in the wind.  Hold tight to one side of the wishbone of cooked turkey, make a wish and pull.  Look for a four leaf clover.  Put a penny in your shoe.  Slip a piece of wedding cake under your pillow.  Put your wishes on paper and place in a box. 


All these things I did, not just once but over and over. And, I was even encouraged to do them on occasions. I really don't remember putting cake under my pillow but I did think about it.  The only thing that could bring would be a mess.  They were sometimes amusing things to do but they never worked.  Maybe my wishes were just impossible.  So I just took all my wishes and put them in a box.  I would open that box once in a while and amuse myself with what I had written and discard the impossible wishes or dreams and sometimes even replace discarded wishes with new ones.  It was kind of like keeping a diary only it didn't tell  of the day's disappointments or secrets.  It was only pieces of paper with mostly single words written on them.  It wouldn't reveal daily disappointments or secrets but after a while it did reveal a lifetime of disappointments.  So, I took that box less and less from it's hiding place and soon I found it gone.  Tossed with all my wishes inside.  I had grown up and became very adult and realistic.  I would no longer be amused by what that box held.  All my disappointments.  There would be no more recording in a diary or closing my eyes, making a wish and blowing out the candles.


I had decided to grow up and face reality.  Life was what I made it, not based on wishes and dreams.  So, I had taught myself not to be trusting of dreams, relationships, people.   But, before I gave up trusting people and relationship, I had already given up on myself.  I couldn't see that at the time.  I was the cause of those wishes not coming true.  I didn't have the courage to think that they could be true.  I kept them in a box that soon was kept shut and away out of sight.


Others saw this as independence and some even saw as arrogance.  I would never be disappointed if I didn't reveal feelings or attachments. And, I didn't.  I didn't have the courage.  But, my closest friends would tell me I was full of courage because I was living what they wanted.  My sister-in-law was at times envious of my lifestyle.  I was going out to really nice places, buying expensive clothes, living without responsibility.  She loved my freedom.  I wasn't free.  I was a slave to avoidance.  I did like dressing up and being taken places but I never let myself break the barrier I put in front of relationships.  At one point, I even dated someone that was threatening because I knew that it would never lead anywhere.  I was looking for disappointment.  And, when I did date the one my sister-in-law and parents thought was perfect I no longer enjoyed going out with him because he would try so hard to be what I wanted him to be.  I changed my attitude and yet he would tell me he could change.  We did end up being friends when we could be comfortable with who we were.  Not trying to be something he could never be and my not looking for ways to impair a relationship. So, I stayed aloof and distant.


Then there was you.  We began to learn things about each other.  Not the intimate things that you learn from close friendships or relationships.  Just things like you were a flirt.  You enjoyed being in the company of women, mostly younger.  You enjoyed talking about history, airplanes and your war.  You liked gin and tonic, smoked Salems and were always the gentleman (that only means opening doors, taking an arm when going up or down stairs, extending your hand when I would get up from a chair or booth, lighting my cigarettes, etc).  It did not apply to your asking for a kiss, calling me "babe", or slapping my butt.  You knew I was not easy to get to know.   I liked gimlets, smoked Winstons (hated menthols), often refused any gentlemanly offers and could be very standoffish. But, you never once (or so it seemed) stopped trying to be the gentleman.  When I would refuse to allow you to open a door or take your hand, you would just step back, smile and sometimes wink.  Over the course of six years, I learned to like being with you, first as part of a group and then with it being only us.  You had me looking for that first star at twilight, searching for four leaf clovers as we laid in the grass, and throwing coins in a fountain.  I was making wishes.  I felt beautiful.  Was happy.  And, felt so loved.  I was rich.  I dared to dream with you.  I got my wish, dreams sometimes do come true.


We were both reaching for the stars, caught each other's hand and held on tight. 

If only I could have one more wish - I would wish you happy anniversay.


October 9, 1971
October 9, 1971

2012 Another Anniversary

October 9th, 2012 and another anniversary. This one not shared with you but, because of you. Our celebration of 39 years of love is still a celebration of love because of the fulfillment of our dreams and wishes. An anniversary celebration spent with our daughter and granddaughter over a casual dinner and talk of family. The conclusion I drew from our dinner conversation was that we may not have been seen as the typical family but we had accomplished our dream of unending love. The proof seen in the love that exists in your children still remembering and finding a celebration in our anniversay.

More by this Author


Comments 14 comments

CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

What a beautiful story from the beginning until the end. Thoroughly enjoyed the way it was written--pure and simply lovely!

Congratulations to you both. Happiness always!


sweethearts2 profile image

sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana Author

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. You are an inspiration


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

So very very beautiful and I now look forward to reading many more by you.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 5 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

What a beautiful love story. I too was captivated by your words and your style of writing right from the beginning. I understand letting go of your wishes like you did. But the joy of realizing you have finally found all the wishes you longed for! You have known love and you are blessed. Beautiful picture of the two of you. Thanks so much for sharing.


mikeq107 5 years ago

Sweethearts2 ;0)

Loved it...it drew me in from start to finish..loved the wish box..dare to dream..live on the edge.....true life makes wonderful reading...could almost imangine you reading or just simply telling me your story in a coffee shop!!!

Keep on Keeping on!!!

Mike :0)


kerlynb profile image

kerlynb 5 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

Pure love. Everybody deserves to get it. Not so many are lucky to have it. Happy to know that you really experienced pure love :)


susan54 profile image

susan54 5 years ago

I love it so much. Thankyou


ytsenoh profile image

ytsenoh 5 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

How lovely and honest and serene. We all want to love and be loved and churn our dreams into realities. Thumbs up on this one. Thank you.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas

What a wonderful story of love. I too wish you could once again say happy anniversary. I felt your innocense, your jaded life, your joy, your love, and your loss.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

I'm going to share this with others....It's too beautiful not to....


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

I had to come here and visit your writing, as your recent comments have pulled me.... I'm reminded of why I liked you from the beginning. It's like epi says--the purity of your writing. I even loved how you wrote your profile so sweetly and sincerely, ending with "I loved my husband's smile." As I read through this hub, enjoying how you captured all the things we feel and have heard about wishes, I was swept away with it. When I came to the ending, after wishes again returned, this time to a sweet reality, and the wistful wishing of just one more wish at the end, I was left with chills. Serious goosebumps. Beautiful writing. A wow and lots of votes on this one!


Cousin Fudd profile image

Cousin Fudd 5 years ago from From the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina

A great tribute and a wish come true.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is a wonderful story. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you...


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...this is such a pure expression of love, life and living and must surely deserve a wider audience so I will post this proudly to my Facebook page with a direct link back here ..... love your writing - it's from the heart but it's your creative mind which captivates me and how you can pull your reader into your world with such an incredible and reasurring story .....which will always stand the test of time.

lake erie time ontario canada 6:40am

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working