Why Cheater's Cheat

Author: W. K. Hayes

Why Cheater's, cheat

Generally, a man with wondering eyes has several reasons why they pursue multiple women. A low self-esteem, absence of a mother's love or even a ego trip. Ultimately, most men become cheaters simply because the relationship has fizzled out for them and they do not know how to break it off or even realize that they need to.

Unfortunately, most men do not understand what real love is, the difference between being in love and loving someone. It is very possible to love someone without being in love with that person, thus cheating steps in.

If a man, or woman, feels that they need to see someone else because of some need they have, was not being met then, they should have the courage to end it with the person they are with. The alternative to this would be for the man or woman to talk about their feelings and the fact that they are lacking something in the relationship.

Unfortunately, most men are not in touch with their feelings and do not understand the importance of getting in touch with those feelings. Another reason people cheat on the other half is due to aging. As people get older, they begin feeling as though they have become less attractive which, is far from the truth.

One of the biggest things I've noticed, from my own experiences is that a man may feel alone on the inside while never letting it show on the outside. Trying talking with you man. Spend time with him and be attentive. Listen to what he is saying without turning it into an argument.

The number one reason a man cheats on a woman is that she forgets he is there. She will get wrapped up in her own little world here's a huge secret when it comes to men...we love attention more than women do.

Never would have guessed, huh? If you start to feel even the slightest distance between yourself and your loved one...sit down and talk about it. Try showing more attention. A man loves it when his woman shows him love. Many, many women get comfortable in a relationship and simply stop caring. Then when things go wrong, they wonder why.

Well, that is the number one reason why and it is the number one reason why cheaters, cheat. Spend time with each other. Make each other feel wanted. Women, stop waiting for your man to come to you. A man likes to be taken, too.

A man likes his woman to come along and give him a kiss for no reason. It does not take wearing lingerie and candles...something as simple as a hug and kiss will keep your man very happy and at home.

If you can tell something is bothering him, ask him about. Refrain from asking him, “What is your problem”? Instead, act as if you care, by asking, “You look troubled, are you okay”?  

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Comments 19 comments

Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

An interesting read. It makes a change to actually hear this from a man about why men cheat :)

Do you think the same reasons apply to why women cheat..?


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Actually, I do. Everyone loves attention. Most women I have talked with about cheating have confessed that their number one reason for cheating was because of the lack of attention they were getting at home.

I do not believe in gender differences. Men love attention just as much as women do. A hug and kiss go a lot further for man than saying, "I love you". After all, actions speak louder than words. Make a man feel wanted and you'll have no problems with him cheating unless he really never loved you to begin with, in which case, call the relationship off and find the man that's right for you.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia

This is very good and I think you've covered it all well. My first husband cheated and I couldn't get past it so we divorced. I never could understand why it happened because everything seemed okay except for the fact that he suddenly started going out with his "friends" and not coming home at night. Then many, many years later I finally figured out that MAYBE what happened involved me wanting to get pregnant and perhaps he really didn't want that. Maybe he was stressing over ME wanting to have a baby and not being on birth control and it was not what he wanted, but instead of telling me that he had an affair...sex with someone who didn't want to have a baby. lol! Talking and communication really is so important. ;)

Good hub!


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Thank you Pam,

You are right...instead of him possibly hiding his fears he should have told you that he wasn't ready to start a family. Communication is key to a successful relationship and a very important part of teamwork. When two people come together, they are forming an intimate team and should always be open and honest about their feelings. Thank you again.


Heartandsoul profile image

Heartandsoul 5 years ago

Relationships are a two way street and when the chips are down and times are hard that initial attraction and chemistry that brought you together in the first place survives. Why do some stay alone rather than simply "find someone" are the expectations unrealistic? Or is real true lasting love the most precious commodity and worth the wait.


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

True love is well worth waiting for versus wasting time on relationships that likely, will become a matter of convenience. Every relationship starts out being the right one but, given time, a person's true nature begins to surface and eventually, relationships fizzle out. Sometimes, this happens quickly and some times it takes years before the person relaxes into actually being themself. That is why it is so important for people to be who they really are to start with.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

What sensible ideas and good to read words from a man's perspective. Thank you.


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi Acaetnna...thank you for reading the article about, 'Why Cheater's Cheat.' I'm glad your found it useful and informative.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

W.K. Good Hub, but I can't help but feeling you are writing first handed. You have most of it correct, but there is a little more to it.

At least that is what the psychological theories I came up with in psych 101. Some of my nonsensical theories(that's what my prof said) are being taught at the Adler School of Psychology today.

I will ollow you, as you have me. H


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi Harvey Stelman, I will admit my article is a generalization of the more common reasons of infidelity. I do agree that there are other reasons as well and would love to learn more about your theories regarding the subject matter. As for first-hand experience...yes and no...I once dated a woman only to find out she as married. I calmly sat her down and asked why and alot of this article is based on her response.


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

W.K. Well she has her experience to draw on. I'm married for over 33 years, women have come on to me since day one. Does that make me lucky? Even a good frinds wife, wanted to see how I was. She was a friend of my wife.

I now have MS, and in a wheelchair. Tell me why the hell a couple of teenagers would want me? H


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi Harvey Stelman...Not at all...lucky would be great thing. In most cases, women see one thing, security. If a guy is with someone, they think he's not afraid of comitting himself to a solid relationship. However, if it is not for security then it muct be out of curiousity or fantasy, if not both. Either, way...did you have a lot of women hit on you before or after you were married?


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

W.K. I hope you don't think I'm bragging, YES! I was a singer guitarist that played clubs. In college I was a big hit. Booked with Elton John & Jethro Tull. Ladies throw themseles at the ugliest gut, as long as they're on stage. Throw in I looked good, and the ladies went wild. I trned so many down becase I thought it was stupid. Why would they wait in line, idiots!

Another reason they go for it is simple. They just want fun, like guys. H


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi H...Now you get the, Lucky You, award...Girls never paid me any attention until after I was married. After we split up 8 years ago, I thought about skirt chasing, as it's called but I never did and never will. And, I do agree 100% that girls do like to have fun just like guys.


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

W.K. Many missed out, is all to think about. H


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

Hey W.K., Call it skirt chasing, or anything you want to. All I'm talking about is meeting ladies. There are better ways than online. You actually meet them, and decide if you want to if you want to see each other. H


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi Harvey...I didn't mean that in a bad way. I simply meant I had no interest in playing the field. I thought I would after we split up but that's not who I am.

Meeting someone in person is far better than meeting them online and alot safer. Don't get me wrong, there's safe ways to meet someone online but slowly is the key. Actually talk with the person on the phone. Swap mailing addresses and actually hand-write each other letters with pics. Above all else, a person should take their time. When both feel it's time to meet, obviously meet in a public area and take it from there.


Harvey Stelman 5 years ago

W.K. You don't have to go after all of them, just enough to find the one. H


kattie walker 2 years ago

Enjoyed reading that. but question what if it's not the woman. the woman is troubled but the acts as if you don't talk about the problem then it will go away. I promised my mother year and years ago she would not go into the nursing as long as I am physically able. This was before my husband. He thought he could handle it but he is alone a lot and refuses to come stay with us. So now how can I fix that.

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