Why Did These Men Cheat?

Jesse James and Sandra Bullock
Jesse James and Sandra Bullock
Bad Boy Jesse James
Bad Boy Jesse James
They look like such a nice couple
They look like such a nice couple

Why? Why? Why?

So the question is, “Why did these men cheat”? I guess the answer to this question really depends on who you ask, a man or a woman. Being that I am a woman I know a few reasons why some women cheat. Now I am not trying to generalize women or put them all in one category because Lord knows I know there are a gazillion reasons out there why a woman cheats.

When I was in an abusive marriage, I cheated and I cheated often, I cheated every chance that I got, why? Because my husband at the time was not interested in sex to begin with plus he was abusive. My ex husband had plenty of problems in and outside of the bedroom and I cheated to get back at him first of all and secondly to get the affection that my body craved. Believe me I have come to terms with my infidelity and have been through plenty of therapy and when that marriage ended and I got the help that I needed, all those troubles seemed to flutter away. I don’t feel like I was a good for nothing slut or whore or whatever word you want to use but I did feel degraded and my dignity was always damaged whenever I did cheat and I took responsibility for it, not because I got caught, but as my choice to get help. I thank God that those days are over and I probably wouldn’t have made it without God in my life.

Now lately in the news I am sure everyone has heard about the scandals with Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James. The reasons that these men have given for cheating have really left me perplexed. I mean I know I don’t live with these people and I can’t be and advocate for Tiger’s wife or Sandra Bullock, I don’t know what kind of people they are personally. But it definitely looks to me like these men wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And there is nothing wrong with that, if both parties are okay with this arrangement and judging from what I see in the news, I don’t think that these women were.

One of Jesse's Gals
One of Jesse's Gals
Mistress #2
Mistress #2

I don't get it

I do see two men who are successful and who have woman probably falling at their feet and cheating on their wives who seem to both be strong, beautiful, intelligent woman that any man would feel lucky to be married to. Of course they could be monsters, but I don’t think so. And then what happens when everything hit’s the fan and the women come out of the wood work? The men claim that they are sex addicted. Now that’s a new excuse that is often thrown around today very often. They go into rehab. Too much sex, too much drink, ahh poor babies. I don’t get it.

Bad Bad Boy

In the case of Jesse James, he just looks like a bad boy that hitched his wagon to the most successful woman (who I still have no clue what she saw in him) and he ran with it. But then he got greedy and wanted to keep that lifestyle that he had before Sandra, then why marry her in the first place? It tore my heart out listening to how she talked about her husband at the Oscars after it hit the fan. I felt so much empathy for her. It seems to me like she was working too hard and Jesse James was playing too hard. Looks like he likes the sluttish type in the bedroom and the nice girl in the kitchen Who knows.

As for Tiger Woods same thing, he likes the easy women. Now I am not trying to sound holier than thou here but the ones responsible here are the men. Most of these women were single, from what I understand and some even thought that Jesse James was not married or separated from Sandra, probably what he was telling them to get them into bed, In my world a single woman can do anything she wants, If she can look herself in the mirror and not cringe then more power to her, but these men knew that they were married and what they were doing was wrong. Were they justified in what they did? Do they seem sorry? The half fast apology from Jesse James makes me think not. Tiger Woods was obviously just sorry he got caught from what I could tell. He really was a disappointment to me, because he seemed to be so happy with his family. But then you never know what is happening inside someone's head. I just know I cheated when I wasn't happy, so why wasn't Jesse James happy with Sandra Bullock or Tiger Woods with Elan? Who knows. I guess at the end of the day it isn't any of our business, but it would be nice to know in general why they cheated like that.

Jesse's #3 I guess #4 isn't talking much.
Jesse's #3 I guess #4 isn't talking much.

Come on you men!

I would really love some insight into this topic from some men out there, please don’t think that I am man bashing because I most certainly am not, every man is different(thank God) I am just trying to understand what men in general think about these two cases and their opinions on them, that would be fantastic because it really has me puzzled.

© 2010 ladyjane1

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Comments 59 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

In my opinion, and I am probably a minority in this opinion is that the only reason someone would cheat is lack of self worth/self esteem.

It as little to do with the person they are cheating.

No matter how successful, no matter how beautiful, no matter how rich they are or the person they are with, they need another form of validation, which no one can give them.

The need is internal and cannot be given by anyone outside of the person.

Ghost Whisper 77 profile image

Ghost Whisper 77 6 years ago from The U.S. Government protects Nazi War Criminals

Interesting hub LadyJane. There are many reasons why people cheat on their spouses. The rich are no different than the average person who does this...so this is no new news. Many will say it is a matter of too much money-or having their cake and icecream too...but when all is said and done?

I think the answer has to do with living in the physical world too much and not having even a toe in the spiritual world where God resides. Vows are just paperwork to many-rich or not. It is not a matter of the twisted mind-but the matters of a twisted-undedicated-heart-not only to whom they are married to, but ultimately to God.

This is what is expected if you live only in the "world."

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

msorrenson thanks for commenting and I think that you made a very good point about not having self worth in oneself and maybe not enough self-esteem in themselves. Too much money and too much time on their hands probably doesn't help either. Thanks for reading.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Ghost Whisper hello always nice to see you. I think that you are correct in many of your points. There are people who do not have God in their life and therefore live too much for the pleasures of the world, and Im not saying that only rich people have this problem that's for sure. I guess some people are also weaker than others and don't care who they hurt. Blessings to you.

Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 6 years ago from Virginia

It's sad that commitment and vows mean nothing more than helping to pay the bills...if that at all! Marriage is a beautifully ordained union that God created and I wonder why it gets messed up so much!

Anyways thanks for your thoughts and the story, ladyjane!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Hey Ann nice to see you again it is sad that people do not take their vows more seriously anymore and unfortunately there is always those that are innocent that get hurt the most.Cheers

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 6 years ago

I'm not a man, but from my point of view these guys have enormous egos that have to be stroked often and by many different women. They are children who haven't a clue about love or fidelity. Great hub.

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

Ladyjane1, as a man who lived in So.Ca It was because we could. Jesse is a guy who plays at being a biker, his appearance gets him laid as well as his money, he is a zero as far as a "Biker" he is not. He claim's to have started in mommies garage and probably did, he hung around bike shops and got what little training he has and hired help does his work and he signed it. Any rate I'm off track 'cuz Jesse is a punk who was crapping green when I was twisting steel into the customs of the '70s between tours over seas, at the auto shop on base at El Toro, Ca. None the less the Beach Boys wished they all could be California girls, but not for the "G" rated reasons in their song. I found it easy because the girls were ready to ride in California for your status, biker, money, dope and bad boy appearance or some of us genuine bad boys. When it is offered time and again, sooner or later you give in and take the bait. I'm sure it probably works both ways. I remember a particular evening when 2 youngsters of 18 stopped by, We smoked some blunts and drank some beer and when one got up and went to the rest room, the other point blanked me with "which one of us are you going to F&*k?" hello California! Not being big on gambling I said "you". It was funny then and was a big story to tell of getting one that was just this side of prison. I don't find it a great story anymore, just a sad fact of where I've been and where morals were headed in 1978. It's 2010, a year I couldn't even fathom back then, and morals are not much different. With gray beard and a mix of white and brown hair that is pert near 40 inches long when I ride my antique '47 Harley Davidson to town and stop at the Oasis lounge for a ice cold root beer the 25 to 99 crowd, still hit on me. I've out grown the lust that would have taken me down 12 years ago. Felix, the owner, stocks A&W root beer and Cokes in glass bottles from Mexico that are made like they were in the '50s, so I stop in and play pool while I enjoy soda pop.

The answer is still the same "'cuz we can". Probably from both sides of the isle. I've been clean for 12 years, I lead a "monks" life here in the desert and wish to keep it that way, "headache" free.

Sandyspider profile image

Sandyspider 6 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

I agree with 50 Caliber. I'm not a man, but men don't necessary tie emotions in with sex. It is a conquest. It is easier for a man to cheat.

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Here is a generalization I have learned: Men cheat because they can. It is more a physical, sexual act than any other. Women cheat because of an emotional need more than a sexual need.

Both sexes cheat to renew or regain self-esteem.

Coolmon2009 profile image

Coolmon2009 6 years ago from Texas, USA

When Jesse James and Sandra Bullock first got together I didn't think it was a good idea for Sandra. I don't know what she was thinking. I guess Jesse was exciting early on. Having said that, she is in a relationship with a child not a man; If he cant control himself at this stage in his life, it is time for Sandra to cut her loses and move on.

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

pop thanks for reading and I suppose you are right on this, these men are spoiled and they have huge egos but too bad they don't care enough about their marriage not to stray. THanks again. Happy Easter.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

50 caliber you always give me such a well layed out answer in all my hubs, I love that. I think you nailed it pretty much with your answer, because they can until they get caught and then they are crying like little babies because they have a disease of "I can't control myself syndrome". I appreciate your very honest answer. Happy Easter.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Sandyspider thanks for reading and I think you both are correct. There are several reasons that differ between men and women and why they cheat and there maybe some similar ones but I honestly think women feel guiltier about it then men. THanks for reading. Happy Easter.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

drbj thanks for reading and I think you are correct on this. I sure had very low self esteem when I cheated and for men its different, its more physical than emotional. Happy Easter!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Coolmon you couldn't have said it better. I agree and I think that Sandra will cut him loose asap. Tiger's wife not so much, I think she is going to stick it out. Who knows we shall see. Thanks for reading and Happy Easter

David 6 years ago

I am man, I can’t give any generalizations, I can only tell you why I cheated. I am professional and well off, so is my wife. She has a strong focus and spirituality and she really loves me and I guess that why I married her, because a good women are hard to find, right?

But I was never really passionately in love with her and the marriage quickly grew boring. I was attracted to younger women especially foreign ones because of their energy, the excitement, adventure and the curiosity of learning about their lives and been intimate with someone new.

My wife has never do me any wrong or harm, she is beautiful and charming, but for me my house feels like an expensive prison. I feel like I traded in my freedom for a set of responsibilities. I love my wife but I am not in love with her anymore, yet I could never leave her. For me, I cheat but it gives me an escape from my boring life.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

David thank you for your honesty and sharing with us your story about why you cheat. The fact that you feel that you traded in your freedom for responsibilites says a lot about how trapped you must feel. I am sure that you would never want to hurt your wife and I am not saying to confess your sins to her because it would only hurt her but maybe you can have a really deep heart to heart on what would make you happier in the bedroom and maybe if she knows you feel bored than talk to her maybe she feels bored too. I wish you all the luck in the world and thanks for sharing. Happy Easter and God Bless.

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loriamoore 6 years ago

Have you heard this old joke . . . "How do you know when a man is lying?" When his lips are moving. :-)

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

loriamoore I rest my case lol.

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da_bizkid 6 years ago

Men cheat because they must, because they need to. This is the male struggle.If you cheat, you must believe this much: that fated love is a lie, and monogamous love a deception.

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

da_bizkid "That's what I thought", thanks for clearing that up for us. Blessings to you.

De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

You appear to be seriously interested in an answer to your question, so you tempt me to answer….

See if you judge the reasons for yourself:

Before I was married, I led a life that most men only dream about. I never used drugs or other stimulants, but I was very popular with the ladies, to the extend that I was the one being chased. Everywhere I went I got hit on by women and many a day I slept with two different women newly met at some venue such a doctor’s waiting room, a café, in the street, you name it . Hard life, I know :-)

I met my first wife and did not look at another woman for 8 years. I was happy to flirt to the point where I knew that if I asked for it, I would get it and I would stop, my male ego satisfied. However, over those 8 years it gradually downed on me that something was wrong in my relationship with my then wife and I tried to leave, but my wife would not let go. I became unhappy and then began to look elsewhere and then began to revert to my old lifestyle.

After I got separated/divorced, I wallowed in numerous affairs. Then I met my current wife with whom I am VERY happy and I have not looked at another woman since.

Does this answer your question?

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

De Greek thank you for your honest answer and somehow for reasons I don't know it didn't surprise me and that is not an insult my friend. Cheers.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

It's hard to "get into the minds of these rich and famous". Firstly - Tiger's lady probably didn't think- "Gee, I think I'll seek out a Veteran of the Gulf War or Afghanistan, etc. I think they're probably all very shallow. I say this and I don't know them but- come on- how wrong can I be about most? There is a lot of manipulating going on with all parties involved. Great hub. Thanks for creating it!

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

You are always welcome Micky and I think you are right about the shallow part. Thanks for reading. Cheers

liswilliams profile image

liswilliams 6 years ago from South Africa

Hi ladyjane

thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm sure it has helped a lot of people. For me, I can't tell you what the answer is.

I'm glad you have God in your life.

Great stuff

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

hello liswilliams I appreciate you reading and I don't know if we will ever know the answer to this question. But I know that the more people do not have God in their lives they will be easily swayed to do damage to their marriages. Blessings.

hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

Interesting hub. To summarize my answer in a sentence people cheat because they are unhappy and because at home they haven't all that they need. This as a general thing. I don't know much about Jesse James but as regards Tiger Wood my humble opinion is that he cheated his wife because having as much models, or models-like girls, as possible is a kind of revenge on his younger years when he wasn't rich and rich people probably made a fool of him. I might be wrong, but not too much.:)

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thats an interesting take on Tiger Woods. As far as Jesse James how unhappy could he really be at home? I mean a beautiful movie star, rich wife and a show of his own, what else does a man need? A different woman everynight? I think in the case of Jesse James he was just spoiled. And Tiger Woods couldn't resist temptation but I don't know if it had anything to do with money but I do as always respect your opinion and thank you so much for reading.

hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

You're welcome. :) Maybe not much with money only, but with his "normal" life before becoming a golf star. Seems like a hole to be filled which cannot be filled, at least in that way. The reason though can also be that both simply don't love their wives. But for Woods I'm almost sure it's a kind of retaliation. Like "Now that I'm rich and famous all those girls want to go to bed with me and I'll go with them all because now I'm the N°1". For a kind of affirmation of power, or self image. But as I said I might be wrong.:)

Have a great day!

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Or you just may be right who knows. I just wonder why they married their wives if they didn't love them that is what perplexes me. Oh well cheers.

RecoverToday profile image

RecoverToday 6 years ago from United States

Good information here. The way to keep from cheating is to avoid situations that would make one vulnerable to it.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks for reading and commenting RecoverToday unfortunately it would probably be impossible for these two gentlemen and I use the word loosely here but good advice nontheless. Thanks.

Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

I have a philosphy to which I suscribe regarding love..."we are where we want to be." I really think the

logic question here in both cases that you cite goes to the women..."why did you make this choice? In either case it should be reasonable to rule out the total infatuation with stardom..both were there in their own right. I truly believe that it goes back to self-image for both of these women, who like other unknowns of their gender become attracted to the wrong man for the wrong reasons and in hindsight both of them were probably somewhat aware of the character flaws from the start yet ignored those cautions out of their own individual insecurities and/or needs.

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Wayne that is an interesting perspective on the reasons that men cheat. It is true that some woman fall in love with wrong men. I have done that a couple of times myself and we hold on to the hopes of changing them eventually. Whatever the case thse gentlemen(term loosely used here)still know that they are married and they should take responsibility for their actions. I don't care how much of a bad boy a guy thinks he is he should never treat his woman like this. Its disgraceful.

Jamiehousehusband profile image

Jamiehousehusband 6 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

Hi Ladyjane, I don't believe statistically that celebrities, and/or the rich and famous cheat more than anyone else, I think we just hear the news about those people everyday and so they inevitably become role models and the subject of discussion and debate - such as here. I agree with Hypnodude - people cheat because they haven't got what they want at home, in general. However, I also believe that the serial cheaters are a different sort of animal - they have issues with their own self-worth and the partners they often choose, also sometimes have an addiction to repeatedly pairing with these types. My wife works away from home regularly 2-3 days each week and so the opportunity is there for both of us to play around - right now as I sit in the coffee bar, a really lovely woman is smiling at me, as I write this and I have looked at her back..I'm a terrible flirt..but that's where it ends because I wouldn't risk losing my wife - if that risk was removed, hey I'd be off for a boys night out with De Greek! I don't think my wife would cheat even if I gave her permission - I think that comes down to men being able to separate sex and love more easily than women? I never understand when my wife says 'just hold me', when I want more? Men don't say that do they? Think I better pack up my laptop here before I get into deep water. Women are fabulous creatures....

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Jamie thank you for reading my hub and your oh so honest answer. I see where you are coming from as far as how men think and how women think after all we are both not from the same planet that's why sometimes women would rather just be held than anything else. But keep this in mind if your woman didn't care about you then she wouldn't even want to be held so that's a good thing. And I don't believe that my husband cannot look at other women and I would be a fool to think that he doesn't I don't see anything wrong with flirting either,oh my husband is an incurable flirt. He has an accent so everywhere we go women ask him, "where are you from?" and his face lights up but I trust him and unless it is proven that he is cheating on me than I trust him and do not question him. I love him unconditionally so I guess that is why this hub came about because if a person is unhappy I don't understand why they are married, especially celebrities who have the means to be able to live independantly from their spouses whenever they want unlike some woman and men who are being abused and do not have the means and freedom to leave so easily. This is perplexing to me. I mean i know why people cheat, I just don't know why these particular men did. Anyway, loved your answer. Cheers and glad to be your new fan.

habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

I think some men view cheating as a sport!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Ha Ha Habee you are so right even men who make a living out of sports lol. Cheers.

terced ojos profile image

terced ojos 6 years ago from terced_ojos@yahoo.com

I don't know these celebrities. Men or women.

I find it repugnant that their lives are made into entertainment fodder and fast money.

I know that infidelity can be devastating when you find out about it; having the whole world know about it can exacerbate the emotions exponentially.

I don't know Tiger Woods; I don't know this Jesse James guy or his wife Sandra Bullock.

Bottom line is it's their business and nobody elses. It's between them and their families.

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jennshealthstore 6 years ago from Florida

I believe that if you cheat either the relationship is lacking or you are lacking something within yourself. Some people are trying to fill a void that they just cannot seem to fill. People who cheat all the time sometimes get married thinking that they will change, but often it doesn't happen. It does not matter if he/she is famous or not, they have faults and issues just like the rest of us. A person cannot change unless they want to change or if they change the situation that they are in.

Great hub. Thanks!

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

I feel there is no clear cut reason why people cheat as you mentioned it various with each situation. People try to feel a void within them whether it be food, drink or sex... Great read I enjoyed Why Did These Men Cheat

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 6 years ago

With regard to your own story I've never understood the concept of cheating "to get back at someone". It seems to me the only way to get back at them that way would be to intentionally get caught. If your husband never finds out about the cheating it's not bothering him! (In your case since he had no interest in the bedroom this may not have bothered him much). The best way to get back at someone is to leave.

In your hub you say, "the ones responsible here are the men". I'm not defending what these men did after all they did take a vow. (However we can't ignore/forgive women who Knowingly have sex with Married Men!)

The days are gone where "men" had to remove their rings and lie about their marital status.

If a guy is famous, rich, or powerful there are women who will have sex with him "knowing" he's married!

We also have examples of famous women dating/taking married/attached men from their mates. (Julia Roberts, Britney Spears, LeAnn Rimes,Angelina Jolie, Barbara Walters, and going way back Liz Taylor) All these women had affairs with married/attached men. Julia,Britney, and Liz went on to marry those guys!

I don't think being married to a "beautiful" woman means the couple has a (hot passionate romantic affectionate) loving relationship. Sometimes two people with high powered careers (spend less time together) and with any long term relationship you're either growing together or growing apart, nurturing or neglecting. People feel taken for granted and don't speak up. No one wants to hold anyone back in their career so they try and endure.

Before you know it you're more like "roommates" with the same last name or "Friends with Benefits" instead of a loving couple. The number one excuse I hear when watching the show "Cheaters" after someone is asked why they cheated is, "You were never here". It may be a B.S. answer but it couldn't hurt to "stay connected" and "emotionally invested" in a marriage.

In the case of Jesse James and even Eric Benet (Halle Berry's ex). Both men were millionaires from their respective careers. Jesse has his own television show working with cars and motorcyles and Eric Benet is a succesful R&B singer. However their wives were way more successful than them! Whenever they walked the red carpet they were regulated to "standing in the shadows" while the lights flashed and the interviews were conducted. I think neither one of these guys could deal with this from an ego point of view. They went from celebrity in their own right to being "Mr. Lucky". The other women come along and "stroke" their ego which gives them validation and they don't feel like they're "just lucky" anymore. Someone is telling them they're sexy, desirable, and hot in their own right.

In Tiger's case I believe he was a sheltered kid who didn't have much of a social life. He became rich and world famous which led to hanging out with other stars like Michael Jordan and suddendly he was a kid in a candy store. Women were throwing theselves at him and willing to do ANYTHING he wanted.

Can you imagine being pissed off at your husband for any reason and opting NOT to have sex with him while knowing there are millions of women ready and willing to take your place the moment he steps outside your home?

Most guys who cheat have to make some kind of effort to find a woman but famous stars have women throwing themselves at them! Men in this position need a large dose of self-discipline and maturity. Most sports stars would do better to settle down after they retire from sports. (Cheating is about addressing a NEED of some kind) It could be ego driven, physical, or emotional.

A person with a FULL stomach doesn't keep on eating!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Hello Dashing thanks for reading and actually a person with a FULL stomach does keep on eating or there wouldn't be so many obese people. As for getting back at someone I did eventually leave my husband but during the marriage I was cheating to get back at him whether he found out about it or not, I knew inside that I was getting over on him as a disrespect for him for ignoring me. Also I said that men were responsible here not that the women were innocent, but the men are responsible for their own marriage. A single woman can do whatever they want whether it is to have an affair with a married man or not. They are free to do what they want but the married man needs to think about his marriage so that's why I say it is their responsibility. Thanks again for reading you made some valid points cheers.

dramatis personae profile image

dramatis personae 6 years ago from USA

Many times the rich have inflated egos, thinking they are a plane above all of us 'mortals' simply because this world feeds those egos of the rich. Like their money makes them better than we are, so naturally, they act the part and believe that junk. A friend of mine once said: "You'll never know how hard it is to earn money until you marry a rich man." She is probably correct.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

dramatis thanks again for reading and I tend to agree with you. One of my sisters was married to a rich man and I do believe there is some truth to that statement. Cheers to you.

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

Good morning LadyJane-just going back through some hubs that I've not had a chance to read. My comments: you are a brave woman for writing about your infidelity in such a candid manner--wide open for all to read. That takes courage. It would be a huge risk for some, as people do judge others, whether it is in their past or not.

I recall my reactions when both of these elite couples came out with their troubles. Watching the news flash about Tiger's accident at 2 a.m. and the 'odd' window bashing I immediately thought, "that was no accident and that window was not smashed b/c Elan was attempting to rescue. That was an irate woman who caught her husband cheating and how 'ironic',(could have been the '9' iron-y) that she hurt him where it counts-with his own signature sport club. Sure enough that was what came out.

How did I know immediately? B/c I am a woman who has been cheated on-by my first husband, and later by a man whom I had a long term relationship with, professed his spirituality to me, co-inhabited with his children, etc etc. It's never fun being cheated on no matter how old one is. It is, as I am sure you understand, a deep betrayal, a destruction of one's self-esteem, and a breach of trust that, in some cases, cannot be mended.

I was saddened for Sandra B when I heard, along with the rest of the world, that Jesse had cheated on her, but not surprised. Stereotypes aside, he looked like the type: egoic, immature, insecure about his relationship with her, and throwing up the image of the bad boy. Hate to say, "what did you expect?" but, frankly, there were road signs along the way of that one which Sandra clearly ignored or was in denial of. He had a history and if one does not receive therapy or go into a recovery program for the behaviors exhibited, then they are just waiting to surface at the right opportunity.

What was esp sad, in my opinion, was the timing of all of it. First, an interview with Oprah, in which Sandra gushes about 'her guy' and then the professing of his, 'having her back' at the academy award speech. It is no wonder that the worm looked so uncomfortable sitting there listening to her and getting teary eyed...knowing he was cheating on his wife who was telling the world of her devotion to him.

Excellent write, L.J. I enjoyed it and yet feel the saddness of my own experiences revisited. Well done.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Denise thanks for reading my hub and for your nice comments. I don't feel like I was brave in writing about my infidelity as I feel like my life now is an open book and if there are those that judge me then those people need to look in their own closets....having said that I do agree with everything you said about Sandra and Tiger Woods. But like some of the other comments on here, sometimes rich people feel like they can have everything and they don't care who suffers for their decisions. Anway, thanks again for visiting. Cheers.

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Assassin Fred 6 years ago

Tiger Woods, he is just plain retarded. His wife is gorgeous, he is a worthless womanizer. Women to are attracted to him are obviously more fascinated by his wealth than anything else. I don't understand this one at all, except for the fact that he is a habitual womanizing cheater. His wife should leave him for sure.

Jesse James... One word comes to mind: Douchebag. Please excuse my language, but who on earth would cheat on Sandra Bullock, America's good girl?!! I understand that they may have had some relationship issues, but this guy obviously is among the typical "bad boy" types that some women are attracted to. Unfortunately Sandra didn't get this out of her system in her youth.

Celebrities are in a category of their own when it comes to things like this. I look at it like this, Our children idolize celebrities, athletes, etc. These people have more dirt in the press and media than anything else. With all the drama and controversy among professional athletes, domestic violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, armed robbery, murder, rape, dog fighting?!! (Seriously?) and the list goes on... who would want their kids looking up to these turds?

My first wife had an affair (which led to our divorce), but I know that the effects of something like this can be disasterous on a relationship.

There are also people out there who will cheat to get back at their significant other (falling into what you wrote about yourself). I can see how this happens, it is emotionally draining to deal with any kind of abuse in a relationship, but doesn't make it right.

Celebrities are in a class all their own, but what they need to realize is that they need to have a finely tuned moral compass, because the world is watching them.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Fred thanks for reading, I totally agree with you, both these guys are just scum and they don't know when they got it good. Especially Tiger who has children with his wife and now because of his selfishness they are gonna be from a broken home. And Jesse James is just an ass for doing this to probably the only woman on his list that actually gave a crap about him.....Thanks for commenting. Cheers.

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Assassin Fred 6 years ago

scum, yes. dirtbags, absolutely. When people do things like this, they fail to realize the second and third order effects of their potential actions. Cheating will always result in heartbreak or emotional turmoil, one way or another.

Additionally, who in their right mind would cheat on a woman like Sandra Bullock, anyway?!!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

I agree with everything you say Fred. I don't know who would cheat on Sandra Bullock, he must be crazy!! Cheers.

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freshlaundry71 6 years ago

Infidelity is like poison....it infests every area of a relationship until it chokes the life out of it. Ive been married to a cheater and have also been a cheater. Human nature is to trade tit for tat....however, both parties involved end up losing a little piece of themselves. The best advice I can give is to keep your pants on no matter how tempting the sin...you can walk around screwing people over left and right..but if you do it while you are married be prepared to pay the consequences. Its never good to stick your whole body in a fire!

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Freshlaundry71 And boy did I stick my whole body in the fire but overcame the whole marriage finally but still am good friends with my ex. I guess we learned that it was better for us to stay friends and not married. Great advice. Cheers.

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DatChicLeeLee727 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, FL

I've seen plenty married men out and about looking for somebody to bring home for the night. I don't know if they're lonely, or maybe they entered a relationship too fast and want out. Still, there is no excuse for cheating on a spouse unless you know they're cheating as well. That's just how I feel about it. Making those vows mean something even if everything else doesn't. A spouse who wants to cheat should be prepared to leave their relationship first, and sometimes cheaters get scared to go through the actual breaking up part.

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ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

DatChicLeLe727 thanks for giving your input and for reading my hub. I don't think that cheating is healthy for anyone whether to get back at someone or not. I appreciate your comments. Cheers.

DDE profile image

DDE 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

unsatisfied men cheat on their wives and feel no guilt

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mr williams 4 years ago from Norfolk, Virginia

Men become bored with their wives. Some women hide their true personality and let loose when the ring is on the finger. The men cheat to find something new. An outsider will look more attractive and a better match for someone who isn't happy in a marriage or relationship. It also has to do with the fact that women "get too much" from men when divorces are settled, so they rather cheat than lose all the money that comes along with ending a marriage.

The sex addict excuse is very real. From my experience, women love to control a man by holding out in bed as a manipulation tactic to get a man to do what they want. It ends up backfiring and they get cheated on. People don't cheat for no reason. They are wrong but I'm pretty sure the women provoked it in some way, especially considering the money risk.

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