Why Girls Love Clumsy Guys

If "this" happens to you on a date

cheer up, pal. Your pretty date will be right there suffering with you for a LONG time.
cheer up, pal. Your pretty date will be right there suffering with you for a LONG time.

How you being clumsy affects girls

This hot chick is sharing with her "bestie," how much she cares for you, after you fell and broke your arms in a Taco Bell.
This hot chick is sharing with her "bestie," how much she cares for you, after you fell and broke your arms in a Taco Bell.
She wonders when her "clumsy" date will call so she can make him feel better.
She wonders when her "clumsy" date will call so she can make him feel better.
"I feel so sorry for 'Bill,' he is so clumsy, and that's why I love him so," says this attractive girl.
"I feel so sorry for 'Bill,' he is so clumsy, and that's why I love him so," says this attractive girl.
This clumsy man doesn't know that his pants are falling, but he will be okay when his pretty date sees this and kisses him out of pity.
This clumsy man doesn't know that his pants are falling, but he will be okay when his pretty date sees this and kisses him out of pity.

So, you have tried everything

right, guys? To get girls to notice you and date you more than once? Sure you have. You are a guy, after all. And we guys are not sensible enough to just use our primal disadvantages to attract the pretty females, no, we had rather spend thousands of bucks on expensive clothes, cars, shoes and meals. Oh yeah, these things work all of the time for every guy alive. (Can you see me look sarcastic?)

And after all of this spending of bucks, time, and energies, we get it. We guys "can," if given plenty of time, can realize things. All on our own. We may look less-than-intelligent, but when "the chips are down," most of us come through with flying colors.

So that explains my headline: "Why Girls Love Clumsy Guys," and face it, all pretty girls who are reading "this" story. Deep down inside, you and your girlfriends literally "love" us clumsy guys whom weren't born with graceful moves like those guys on the parallel bars in the recent London Summer Olympics. I bet those guys are lonely for they are so nimble.

Please, ladies. Don't get angry. I am giving you a sweet compliment. You are all gifted with a trait that is priceless. The trait of "nurturing" sick kittens, sad children, a best girlfriend who has been run-over by a "jerk," who cannot treat a woman with respect, and last but not least, clumsy guys.

I can't talk about this intelligently, for I am not a licensed psychologist. But I have seen this happen in real-life. In-person. And if I had a photo of my friend, we can call him, "William," I would prove it.

"William" had the "art of attracting hot girls" down to a science. I envied him along with his numerous lonely buddies who had tried every way to get a date with a hot chick, but failed. He enjoyed his "system," so much that it took me weeks to finally get him to tell how in creation did he get so many dates with so many pretty girls. And boy, was I anxious to hear "William's" secret. It was like being the only one told if we had really landed on the moon in July 1969 or if it were an elaborate hoax to fool the Russians.

"William," looked at me for a moment. Put his feet up on desk, and with a firm voice said, "you got to be clumsy." I actually waited for the punchline. "clumsy?" I asked almost-angry at his answer. "yes, Kenneth. Clumsy," "William" explained with a "next question" look on his face.

"Kenneth, listen to me. I know what I'm talking about," "William" said. "if you know just how to be clumsy, not graceful, when you are with a pretty girl, then you stand-out from those "slick's" who are dumb enough to think that all girls love expensive gifts, furs, poodles, trips to Las Vegas and cars, for they don't." he added.

"Okay. Clumsy," I replied. "yes, clumsy. Girls love that in a guy. I don't know how to tell you, Kenneth, but girls, mostly, love clumsy guys. I guess it's in their nature," "William" said as he left for, you guessed it, another hot date.

Before I tell you the ten clumsy ways for you guys who cannot get a date for love or money, I will confess that "I" never used any of these clumsy tips. I was afraid that I might injure myself and my parents would hit the roof at having to pay for my expensive hospital bill.

I just used the normal channels to get dates. They mostly flopped too.

So here are only "Ten Ways for Guys to Be Clumsy on Dates," and solidify their chances for another date with the same hot girl.

1) Intentionally-spilling wine or hot coffee on your brand-new, $600-dollar, personally-designed suit.

2) Allowing your elbow, (your call here), slip-off the table and laugh in a nervous gale.

3) When passing your lovely date a hot roll, drop it near her plate and say, “I just can’t win. I wanted to do everything perfect just for you, and look. I am clumsy, dropped your roll, I might as well take you home.”

4) As you pull her chair out for her to be seated, stumble (on purpose) as you walk to your chair and with a red face, try to cover your “accident” as best you can.

5) When she is talking to you, do not, at first, act as if you heard her. She will call your name a second time. This time respond with, “ohh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were talking to someone else. It has been a long time since I was out with a girl who looks as good as you, and frankly, good-looking girls make me extremely nervous.”

6) Have a friend, (ahead of time), be seated near your table, but not speak to you. Then during dinner, you “recognize” him, get up to speak to him, and fall flat on your face with a pat of butter that was once on your fork, now on your face. Restaurant guests will laugh out loud at you. So will your girlfriend, but out of pity, she suddenly gets “feelings” for you, this “clumsy, Harpo Marx”-type of guy.

7) When the waiter brings dessert, make absolutely sure that you spill your cake, ice cream, or whatever sweet, even a flaming crepe in your lap. Your date by now, should feel so sorry for you that if you asked her out for twenty dates in a row, she would gladly accept.

8) Have another friend, (this too is planned out ahead of time), spot you in the restaurant, and as you share small-talk with your date, run over to your table and “let you have it,” with angry threats, vulgar words and tell you just how sorry and low you are. Then walk away. Oh, now is your turn to win the Oscar. You humbly smile as best you can, look down at the floor, and let your voice quiver as you continue your talk with your lovely date. Oh, how she will want to nurture you like you are an injured bunny rabbit she found in the woods.

9) Reach inside your suit to get your pen to sign the credit card receipt for the meal and intentionally-tear your shirt pocket off your shirt. Then shrug your shoulders, chuckle, and sign the receipt.

10) Have a third friend, (and this too is planned out ahead of time, but is very dangerous), be waiting for you and your date outside the restaurant with his German shepherd, that was once a guard dog for the local police. As you walk by your buddy, he lets the shepherd “bite you” several times in the shins and maul you to the ground. Your friend rushes over to you, apologizes, and scolds “Atlas,” the shepherd and walks away leaving you lying on the sidewalk with blood oozing from your pant legs. Now your date is in tears and says, “oh, “Vernon,” you poor, poor man. You went through all of this for me to just have a good time. You must come inside when we get to my place and let me ‘take care’ of you.

Mission accomplished.


Falling in the snow is a perfect way

to make your date feel sorry for your clumsy ways.
to make your date feel sorry for your clumsy ways.

More by this Author


Comments 25 comments

Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

KENNETH!!! You're onto something here...you really are! It''s true...we like men who aren't so "polished," perfect and think the "performance" is more important than being real...Take it from me (!) you're definitely on the right track.

Imperfect, imbalanced men are so cute...so approachable and SO Vulnerable...and, like all good things, it will take a little time to peel back the layers to find the warm, chewy center...that malleable, soft center we all love...

What's the saying? The best things are worth taking time to discover? A lost art, I know but, you've given me the opportunity to say it "out loud" and with no doubts.

Kind of like dilated pupils at the moment when most open and vulnerable...then, there's nothing soft about the clumsy, off kilter man...he is just wide open and ripe for picking!!

Yes, I like this hub; Kenneth...we're suckers for diamonds in the rough...there's so much more to unwrap when the time is right!

UP Funny Awesome ad USEFUL!! (for you men out there....this should be required reading...only, be REAL, now!) LOLO.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Great stuff! Whenever I stumbled men would be relieved,yet the ladies said aw. Knowing this. do you see how I might make a few more bucks for my charities? ;0


myownlife profile image

myownlife 4 years ago from london

Hehe Funny, and true somehow. It depends the age group and the nature. Some girls just want to be noticed anyhow so they choose clumsy guy but end of the day it hardly last long so I think it is a kind of temporary .


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Lucky Cats,

Thank you, sweet friend, for . . .oops, I almost fell off my chair, sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, thanks for your kind comment. And it has been proven by me when I WAS ABLE to date pretty girls . . .rats, hung my fingernail on a key . . .that hurt! Sorry. I was this way, clumsy and unpolished as far as I could be, and some girls, although out of pity, loved that and allowed me to talk to them.

Some just laughed and told me to call them and oops, cat bit me. That was a deep cut! Lucky, my leg is spewing blood . . .sorry.

I just grew weary of "painting the same barn with the same paint," every weekend and just decided to be, oops, head bumped the screen. Knot coming up over my left eye. Sorry, Lucky Cats.

Thanks again, Dear, sweet Lucky Cats, for your nice words. You are among my FIRST FOLLOWERS and I want to say THANK YOU DEAR GIRL for all of your support.

OOPS, leg is asleep, bumped into the wall.

Don't worry. I will live.

Love ya, Lucky!

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MHatter . . .been there. Heard that sweet "aw," and I would injure myself all over again just to be near THE girls I was chasing. Wow, what Friday and Saturday nights are made for!!!!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, myownlife . . .you present a very interesting point. When a teenage guy falls, a teenage girl will either laugh or feel pity. When an adult guy falls, the adult lady will always start to laugh, then cover it up with sympathy. But when and old man, LIKE ME, falls, I hear cackles and horse laughs . . .in short, I do not do this anymore.

Too costly to my insurance.

And girls today are too far involved with cellphones.

Kenneth


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

While I agree we like men who aren't too "slick" all the time, I have dated clumsy men and have to say it didn't do a thing for me! In fact, my second husband was clumsy and to be honest, it was just annoying and embarrassing. But, having said all that, I'm sure there are women out there who like this, so it might just be me!


Mellonyy profile image

Mellonyy 4 years ago

Being clumsy can make women laugh, but for me personally is more important"Are women happier?" in a such relationship. Great hub Kenneth, voted up!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Oh yes women always feel sorry for the clumsy guy but I believe more is they are starting to fall in love because their sympathy and love makes them adore him all the more.


WhydThatHappen 4 years ago

Lol- I think theres more art to it than science. It's a gift


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

omg...hilarious..i can guarantee you, tho - that those guys on the parallel bars? They ain't lonely!! Women may feel badly for boys that fall down - but - chances are they won't be 'falling' all over themselves to go 'down' on them..OOOOOOOooooo...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catgypsy,

Oops! Remind me to take some ballet lessons if I ever get to come visit you. I am no that graceful to be honest, but not as pitiful as the guys in this hub.

Thanks, dear friend, for your comment.

Kenneth and Festus.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Melonyy,

So "you," prefer clumsy men who are able to make you laugh, eh? Well, okay. I can fix it. After I take ballet lessons and visit catgypsy, I will then hang-out in the alley behind any popular bar and watch the men who are too drunk to drive home, walk until they pass out. Then I will be able to mimick "them" and make YOU laugh.

This will work.

Thanks for your kind comment.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee,

Okay. Now I am back to just being "me," semi-clumsy and able to stand it when "your" feelings of sympthy are stirred by my inability to climb a ladder to get you an apple from a tree. Look out below!!!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, WhydThatHappen,

Art, you bet. And "I" can, without boasting, be an artist of being clumsy when I need to. And I didn't do that well in Science either. Thanks for your remark. Why don't you follow me so I can get emails from you on sensible ideas for me to make into hubs?

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL, ImKarn . . .a zinger! What a sharp sense of humor, and to be up front, my high school never taught gymnastics. Neither did I when I was in the back seat . . .oops, I need to collect a royalty on that joke. OOOOOooooo! Thanks, dear friend, for your lively comment.

Kenneth, not related to Tim Matheson who played "Otter," on Animal House.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ ALL OF THE HUBBERS ON THIS HUB: I am sorry, but tonight may be the last night I will be here on Hubs for a day or so. I am scheduled for eye surgery tomorrow morning, August 21, for retina detaching itself according to my optometrist this afternoon.

I appreciate and LOVE all of YOU and your sweet comments. I shall return when my eye surgeon says its okay for me to use my left eye.

Sincerely, KENNETH


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

I am commenting on August 23rd. I hope your eye surgery went well and I am praying for your quick recovery. God bless my dear friend.

Never thought of the clumsy guy getting the girl. I think I will keep my eyes out for clumsy guys falling out of yellow cabs . ;-)

Voted up across the board.


DDE profile image

DDE 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Clumsy guys sometimes find a smart girl the one who sees him truly an excellent Hub voted up!!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thank you, Dearest Susan. Today is Aug. 31, and I still have a blurry left eye, and that will go away in another week. Thanks for the well wish and your sweet comments. Sometimes in life, true oppposites attract: graceful ballet dancer falls in love with Jackie Gleason character, "born loser," and I have seen this happen.

God bless you, Susan.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, DDE,

thank you, dear friend, for your nice commnets. You're right. A clumsy guy can win the heart of a hot chick. Hooray for clumsy guys!!! Thanks DDE, your comment is appreciated.


Debra Emerson 4 years ago

Funny, interesting, and beautiful. Voted up. You write so well or good, which ever word applies.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Debra,

Thank you so kindly for your warm comments. I appreciate your friendship so much.

God bless you.

KENNETH


ketage profile image

ketage 3 years ago from Croatia

LOL , I never knew that the clumsy guys get the girl, fun hub to read.

Hilarious ideas on how to pretend to be clumsy, wish I could try them, but sadly I don't think I could pull it off with a straight face, I would burst out laughing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear ketage,

They, overall, get the girls, but even if the clumsy guy may be acting, he's struck out so many times he's glad to have a "sympathy date."

And thank you for your input. I appreciate you.

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