My Top 10 Reasons Why I Couldn't Date Supergirl

Ahhh, Supergirl. What a hot chick

SHE CAN EASILY TAKE CARE OF HERSELF IN ANY DANGEROUS SITUATION. WHAT MAN WOULDN'T WANT TO BE OUT ON A DATE WITH THIS "SUPER" GIRL?
SHE CAN EASILY TAKE CARE OF HERSELF IN ANY DANGEROUS SITUATION. WHAT MAN WOULDN'T WANT TO BE OUT ON A DATE WITH THIS "SUPER" GIRL?

MORE PHOTOS OF SUPERGIRL AND WONDER WOMAN

I COULD COUNT ON SUPERGIRL TO TAKE UP THE SLACK IF I EVER GOT INTO A FIGHT.
I COULD COUNT ON SUPERGIRL TO TAKE UP THE SLACK IF I EVER GOT INTO A FIGHT.
THESE GIRLS ARE DEFINITELY NOT WONDER WOMAN OR SUPERGIRL MATERIAL.
THESE GIRLS ARE DEFINITELY NOT WONDER WOMAN OR SUPERGIRL MATERIAL.
THE NEW SUPERWOMAN. I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN RUN THIS PHOTO HERE. I GUESS I WANTED TO MAKE THE GUY READERS HAPPY.
THE NEW SUPERWOMAN. I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN RUN THIS PHOTO HERE. I GUESS I WANTED TO MAKE THE GUY READERS HAPPY.
SUPERGIRL IS ALWAYS HERSELF NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION. YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT SUPERGIRL!
SUPERGIRL IS ALWAYS HERSELF NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION. YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT SUPERGIRL!
THIS IS A BAD EXCUSE FOR SUPERGIRL.
THIS IS A BAD EXCUSE FOR SUPERGIRL.
LYNDA CARTER AS "DIANNA PRINCE" AKA, WONDER WOMAN OFF ON ANOTHER DANGEOUS ASSIGNMENT FOR DC COMICS. OOPS, I MEAN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
LYNDA CARTER AS "DIANNA PRINCE" AKA, WONDER WOMAN OFF ON ANOTHER DANGEOUS ASSIGNMENT FOR DC COMICS. OOPS, I MEAN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

Now do I really have to give you a cute introduction to this hub?

Well, since you asked nicely, I will be glad to tell you about "My Top 10 Reasons Why I Couldn't Date Supergirl," and I ask your patience as I muddle though this painful confession-of-a-story that has eaten at me for years.

There isn't a heterosexual man in the world that wouldn't jump at the chance, just a glimmer of a chance, to take Supergirl of DC Comics' fame, out on a heavy date. I am sure that there is a small group of heterosexual men somewhere in this vast universe who wouldn't dare ask Supergirl for a date, but finding them is not my problem. Thank our God above.

And in my life, since the tender, carnal age of 12, I used to be deeply in-love with this red-caped heroine who flew the friendly skies of the United States and Europe defending us against all forms of evil and dirty, under-handed villains. Oh how I used to pine-away the hours just soaking-in every color picture of her in DC Comics and actually sincerely wish that one day I might meet a girl of such perfect features. I may not have been very bright in those days, but man, how I could dream higher than the sky. My dreams of dating Supergirl had no limit. In "my dreams," I was "the man." With Supergirl at my side, I was the envy of every man in the world. Good or evil. With Supergirl in my life, I foolishly thought, I would have it made on throughout my adult years.

But youthful dreams like sand castles are all washed-away with the progression of time and life and guys such as myself are just left with a dull, faded memory of what could have been.

That was then. This is now. When I turned the wise, sagely-age of 22, I began to realize that not all dreams and fantasies come true. Some do. Some don't. My big dream of dating Supergirl burst in front of my very eyes one day when it hit me. How on earth could I, a mortal man, date a comic book chick like Supergirl? "Get real, Kenny," I said to myself. There are just too many obstacles to overcome when it involved dating a girl like Supergirl. Some of my trusted friends, those who saw me through eyes of pity, said, "Kenny, please get a grip. If your new wife finds out that you secretly want to date Supergirl, she is gone, buddy." And they were right. It wasn't fair of me to want Supergirl in my heart while loving my wife in reality.

So one dark day in September of 2009, I faced the cold face of reality. "Took the bull by the horns." "Paid the piper" my last red cent. And let me tell you, I wept. A long time. Held my head in my hands. I saw my last shred of faith diminish like a summer shower as I wrote down my ten reasons, ten hard, truthful reasons why I could never date Supergirl.

And here they are for your approval . . .

#1. SUPERGIRL IS ALL-GIRL and you guys know what that means. If she is a "super" girl, surely she has vanity. And with Supergirl, I am sure that she thinks that "it's all about her," even with I would take her to the finest restaurant I could afford, Deny's, Waffle House or my favorite, Huddle House. Sure she would "act" nice as to not hurt my mortal feelings, but inside, she would be thinking, "just look at these worldly-men gazing at my perfect body, hair, and legs." How do you think I could compete with her Super Vanity?

#2. SUPERGIRL IS EASILY-DISTRACTED and not with me one-hundred percent. We could be sitting and dining on whatever she wants, at my expense, and suddenly her super hearing tells her that a thug is beating up an innocent guy behind the Deny's where we are eating and in a flash, she is gone just about the time I am confessing my love for her. I would get as far as, "Supergirl, I am just so in . . .(SHE FLIES OFF) with you, I cannot stand it," and the other patrons would laugh their selves silly at me sitting alone talking to myself.

#3. SUPERGIRL CANNOT BE MORTAL enough to feed my humanity. What I mean is, a man feels things in his heart that no one else feels. How can Supergirl, a super-being from the planet Krypton, "feel" the hurt in my heart for a girl like her? She can't. She has super will-power and abilities to shun all mortal men's compliments and niceties. Here is how a typical "sensitive moment" with Supergirl would go: ME: Supergirl, I think you are THE most-gorgeous girl in the universe." SUPERGIRL: That's nice. What's for dessert? See? She can never be human enough to be my date.

#4. SUPERGIRL CAN BE HAD BY other guys besides me, but not like me. Take Aqua Man, The Flash, Thor, Iron Man and that pesky Incredible Hulk. They all want Supergirl for their date. So there again, how can I possibly compete with these super heroes? I didn't mention Superman because he is her cousin. So I would just be wasting my time taking Supergirl to the movies and expensive dinners when she really wants to be swept off her feet, literally, by The Flash. Or taken to the ocean's bottom by Aqua Man. I can't win.

#5. SUPERGIRL COULDN'T BE KISSED by men like me because she is endowed with "super" everything. And if I had hacked her off during our date, our one date, when I was kissing her good night, she would use her super-powered lips to crush my lips and face like a sausage grinder leaving me to look like John Merrick, the Elephant Man, and who would want me then?

#6. SUPERGIRL IS BAD FOR A MALE EGO especially when I seat her in a Waffle House in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and some uncultured redneck with a Georgia Dawgs cap on his head stumbles to our table and starts saying inappropriate things to my date, Supergirl. What could I do? Fight this jerk and get beaten within an inch of my life? Or let Supergirl, with one flick of her super-fist, send this troublemaker through the glass window and on his face in the parking lot? The latter would come into play. And I would spend the remainder of the evening with my head down feeling like a "sissy." And knowing Supergirl, she would let one of her super-giggles fly and I would feel even worse.

#7. WARDROBE FOR ME would be a definite deal-breaker. Supergirl would look fantastic in her blue, body-fitting costume, blue short shorts, red cape and red boots, but how would I look with just a pair of Dockers slacks and a sports shirt? Out-of-place. That's how I would look. And this, my inability to look "super," would bring more attention to Supergirl that maybe she didn't want for a while. But then again, I could use some red dye and dye a pair of my Hanes briefs red, buy a blue body-suit, use the red dye to dye a bath towel for my cape and buy a pair of red boots at a Halloween costume store and to top it off, wear a black mask like the Lone Ranger to keep my real name a secret. I would either do one of two things: Be a laughingstock or fit right in. Probably the first option. Be a laughing stock. With Supergirl laughing with her super-laugh and the shock waves sending me to the floor.

#8. SUPERGIRL CANNOT BE IMPRESSED by me or any mortal man. Let's say that my male ego foolishly drives me to say, "Supergirl, let's see who can drink this Coke in the can the fastest," and what an idiot I would be. She would win easily. She is Supergirl for decency's sake. She could drink a few gallon of Jack Daniel's No. 7 black label whiskey and not feel a thing, so one measly Coke in a can would be child's play and I would end up looking very stupid. And forget about arm-wrestling with Supergirl. I wouldn't want my arm drove through the table.

#9 SUPERGIRL'S JEALOUSY would get me into deep trouble. If Supergirl is really super, and has all the qualities of a real girl, then she has a streak of female jealousy especially when an old friend, maybe an old girlfriend of mine should walk by our table and wink at me just for fun. Then Supergirl, out of sheer jealousy, would use her heat vision and melt my old girlfriend into a pile of ashes. You see, no matter what comes up with dating, I could never date Supergirl for any reason.

#10. SUPERGIRL'S SUPER POWERS would easily-detect if I were about to cheat on her. Let's say that "I" got my feelings hurt so deep by Supergirl's attraction to The Thing, of The Fantastic Four, and had a weekend-fling with him, that I charmed Wonder Woman into going to Las Vegas with me to "hit a few tables," see a few shows and just get to know each other better. Supergirl would beat me to a pulp with no problem. "If that Wonder Woman does it for ya', then go to her," an angry Supergirl would say as she stormed away into the wild blue yonder.

. . .Leaving me to say to my new date, Wonder Woman, "Say, may I see that golden lariat you keep around your waist?"

And you know where this is headed.




Another smoking-hot chick, Wonder Woman

WHO IS EQUALLY AS HOT AS SUPERGIRL, BUT EVEN IN HER CASE, I CANNOT SEE MYSELF AS HER DATE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.
WHO IS EQUALLY AS HOT AS SUPERGIRL, BUT EVEN IN HER CASE, I CANNOT SEE MYSELF AS HER DATE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.

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Comments 28 comments

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

You're priceless!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

HEYYYY, Nellieanna! Where have you been for so long??? Ive missed you. Hope you are fine and happy. Im glad you like my take on dating Supergirl. I would consider taking her to Sonic for a chili dog, but she would have to contain her super-attraction for me. LOL. Thanks, dear friend, for your friendship and comments.

Love,

Kenneth


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Kenneth, you are a riot! Loved this Hub!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

It's my pleasure to follow you. You're so amusing and REAL. Yeah - I've had distractions and am in the muddle of some of them now - namely - ugh - taxes.

Sigh - I'm afraid that sometimes I'm viewed as superwoman (unfounded, of course) and resisted, too. haha. But superman doesn't notice me! What's a gal to do! haha RELAX - I'm not looking! :-)

Love ya -


Unleashed Freedom profile image

Unleashed Freedom 4 years ago from star dust, planet Gaia.

hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha...and wait...(tissue's) hahahahahaahaha.


Jenna Pope profile image

Jenna Pope 4 years ago from Southern California

This was a great hub! Really cute. Loved it!


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth

"I could use some red dye and dye a pair of my Hanes briefs red, buy a blue body-suit, use the red dye to dye a bath towel for my cape and buy a pair of red boots at a Halloween costume store and to top it off, wear a black mask like the Lone Ranger to keep my real name a secret."

You are a comic genius. LMAO

Voted up up and away!


gypsumgirl profile image

gypsumgirl 4 years ago from Vail Valley, Colorado

Thanks for a great laugh! You have an awesome sense of humor... Wonderful hub!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy, thank you kindly, for your comforting words. My aching fingers and keyboard also thank you. YOU and all of my Very-Appreciated Followers should get a medal for reading the things that are birthed in my imagination. I will write President Obama and ask him, since he and I are buds, to invite YOU all to his house in Washington for a fancy feast. How about that?

Tell him when you get there, I said hi.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Nellieanna . . .to us on Hubs, you will Always be a a Super-Woman! You are always caring, friendly and supporitive of our efforts. Bravo for hubbers like Nellieanna, right, gang?

Kenneth

PS: Uh, oh. I got to run . . .up, up and away . . .oops, I shouldn't have said that . . . .!!!!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

unleased freedom . . .are you okay? Or should I call the Secret Service, errr, I mean the EMT's? Thanks so much, friend, for your colorful comment. I mean it.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Jenna . . .long time, no Jenna. What gives? Ive been missing you. But I am thankful you left a sweet comment on my hub. And yes, Supergirl read what you said and man, was she upset. And jealous . . .what are you talking about! I had to buy her a stack of pancakes to settle her down. And on top of that, massage her super feet that night. A man in love with Super girl never sees the end of his work.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan,

here on April 16, I really, really appreciate YOUR sweet comments and votes. You are way too kind to me, but I value YOU so much.

If you should look up and see me in the sky, it's Super girl taking me to lunch. I will be the one hanging on for dear life to her red cape. She loves Burger King. Don't tell anyone.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, gypsumgirl . . ."Thank you, from my heart, for your lovely and caring comments." Supergirl wouldn't give me the time of day. Give me a normal mortal girl any day of the week. Besides what guy could feed Supergirl when she is on a Super Eating Binge?

Kenneth


HikeGuy profile image

HikeGuy 4 years ago from Northern California Coast

Hey, you get major chops for figuring out how to get yourself in trouble with *two* female super heroes. Way to go. Thanks for taking me back to my comic book days.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

HikeGuy, you are welcome and I was glad to do it. Take you back to comic book days, not get myself in hot water with 2 female super heroes. On the other hand, both of these super ladies fighting over "me," hmmmm, no. Not a good idea. Better off without them.

Kenneth


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

I really enjoyed your story on Super girl. So super girl can be had by the Incredible Hulk! Lol. I think supergirl is still your hero.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Ahhh, lovedoctor, my friend, how did you know? I think I know how you knew. Your special secret LOVE powers told you that she was still my chick. I see why they call you lovedoctor. I bow to your supreme wisdom, my friend.

Kenneth


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Lol. you're funny! Keep up the good work Kenneth. Your follower.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear lovedoctor, I will. And I want YOU to always know, even if I don't tell you often, "I appreciate YOU as my friend, follower and hub adviser." "I trust your wisdom more than mine." "And may I ask you one question that is heart-related? DO YOU THINK, IN YOUR HONEST WISDOM, THAT SUPERGIRL AND I COULD MAKE A GO OF IT?"

Sincerely, "Pining Away for Supergirl"

Kenneth


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Thank you Kenneth for your thoughtful comment. I am sure that your SuperGirl is somewhere out there, you just haven't found her yet. Remember, anything is possible if you just believe!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thank you, fondly, lovedoctor, I certainly appreciate your faith and confidence. If only I didn't have to compete with all the other super (men) who want her too.

Please visit me anytime you like and you are free to send me your input on how your like or dislike my subjects. I trust you, LD.

Kenneth


snowdrops profile image

snowdrops 4 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

Yahuuuu!!!! Just one hub and I love the writer behind it!.. ohh i love it! You're such a great writer kenneth!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest snowdrops . . .Wow, what a sweet girl . . .YOU, not Supergirl in THIS instance. I love your comment and I am truly grateful to hear from a writer of your caliber telling me these words. What a self-esteem booster. I love you too! Now. Supergirl, even in her many amazing talents, wouldn't stop her crime-fighting to just send someone like me a note so lovely as yours, snowdrops.

Thanks again!

Kenneth


dwachira profile image

dwachira 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

After reading your story, i soon realize i don't need a realtionship with a super hero lol! Great hub, voted up useful and shared.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

Hehe Kenneth you're the best!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

dwachira,

Well, I can tell you this. A relationship with a super hero is never normal. Always hectic, and in Supergirl's case, she gets moody when she isn't fighting crime, but if she wants me. She knows where to find me.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear unknown spy,

That is soooooooooooo sweet of you to day. I appreciate that and guess what? YOU have made my day. I mean it. And I don't even care if Supergirl goes over my emails when she gets back from Germany.

KENNETH

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