Why I love cross dressers

This is my first hub and I'd like to share with the world my passion for cross dressing men. I know most girls will think I'm gay or weird (the last one's probably true) but they just don't understand how exciting and intimate you can be with a cross dresser.

Don't get me wrong, I love men and all that comes with it. But if you have a cross dressing boyfriend, you get all that a man has to offer PLUS a whole lot more.

Ok, now I know some of them might be transsexuals or have other serious problems. But I'm not talking about them. I mean the regular guys who are perfectly manly in all things that matter (you know what I mean). Check out my 10 myths about crossdressing. If they share this deep secret with me only and let me in on this whole different side. That's such a beautiful and romantic way to have a relationship.

I have to admit I was not always like this. In fact, I never thought about cross dressers or transvestites until I met my boyfriend a few years ago. He told me after we dated a few months and at first I was kind of speechless but didn't mind really. I was just worried that he might turn gay or something. Then he explained that it was harmless (which it is) and I decided to wait and see. Little did I know that I would end up loving it so much.

We've had so many intimate moments while being 2 girls and so much fun playing around with the whole dress up thing. I can't begin to describe what you girls are all missing out on. OK, so its weird but I don't care anymore. I wouldn't want a boyfriend who's to scared to wear womens clothes. If you're new to crossdressing, then check out my article on dressing up as a woman.

Starting to rant on so I better stop for now.


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Comments 84 comments

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likewhatiam 7 years ago

Hi Lucy If you are a girl I personally think that you should be congratulated on your open minded approach to your boyfriends crossdressing.I myself have been a crossdresser for most of my life with my wifes approval and have been happily married for more years than I care to mention and are still happy because we share the same ideas and love shopping together.I am a regular straight eight guy but just love some of the ladies fashions and wear them from time to time not trying to pass as a woman but just as a guy that wants fashion freedom the same as the woman do.I just wish that all woman shared your opinion on crossdressing,please help spread the word that it is ok to be a crossdresser.

Little Princess dani 7 years ago

I also love your understanding of crossdressers. I am one..

ginger 7 years ago

myself i love dressing as a girl and i dress every day while my wife is at work. i hate it when i have to take my feminine things off befor she gets home. i am disabled so i get to wear my girly cloths every day and look and feel my feminine side. i would love to be able and dress full time and my wife would help me. here is my problem i dressed fully as a girl for halloween and she said this is the only time she ever wants to see me in a dress. but she lets me wear panties panty hose and a night gown to bed every night. what she dose not know i am wearing a kotex with ny night wear. this helps me fell more feminine and some times i also wear a tampon which realys feels good inside me. thanks ginger

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JimmyC20593 7 years ago from Oklahoma City

I think it is so cool that you have discovered the great thing about a man who is comfortable with himself to dress in lingerie and other female attire. I am 47 and am a manly man who wears very pretty lingerie under my male clothing. You would never know I was wearing but would love it when you found out.

Suzzanna 7 years ago

I was told that if I really wanted to feel feminine , I should do it wearing a tampon ! I actually look forward to wearing one ! I find that my posture is more feminine wearing one than without !Right now ,I can not wait for the day when I comploete the transition !

SecretDesire 7 years ago

Hi, Lucy...The pics you posted are gorgeous. I have recently become an occasional croosdresser in women's lingerie. Slipping into silky-soft black thigh highs and a pair of nylon see-thru thong bikinis is exciting and make me feel "femm" at least for ahwile. I am a straight male who has always enjoyed intimate and intense lovemaking with women -- and still do. But when one of my former free-spirited lady-loves persuaded me to try on her stockings and panties and then make love together -- it was fantastic.

I guess you could say that nylon is my guilty pleasure.

Too many men ignore their "feminine" side. Women's lingerie is so sexually arousing.

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Lucy83 7 years ago Author

Thanx SD,

You're totally right. Lets spread the word and encourage more guys to enjoy life instead of just trying to control it.

Lori 7 years ago

OK you said, "Ok, now I know some of them might be transsexuals or have other serious problems." I'm a transsexual and I don't consider me having "serious problems" You make it sound that transsexuals is a negative term. I didn't appreciate that.

~Lori Quaresimo

john  7 years ago

I wish I cvould meet a girl like you

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pauls_boat 7 years ago

well said lucy it is good to know there are people out there who are not bothered that a man wants to wear girls clothes

Jane 7 years ago

I am a crossdresser and I wish I could find a woman who is accepting as you claim to be. My experiences has been very negative regarding women's tollerances. Too often women are more uptight that the crossdressers are. More often than not women are more full of bullshit that normal guys are. Women claims they are liberated these days, the truth is they are not. I have lost 2 wives because of this and I made sure the 2nd wife knew about it before we were married. She claim it didn't matter that I crossdressed, but it did. My question is, where are all of these so called accepting women???

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Lucy83 7 years ago Author

Hi Jane,

You're right, many women are very small minded with this and I guess I should plead guilty of it myself because I actually REQUIRE my partner to crossdress. Its because women have a clear picture in their heads of what they think a man should be and anything that deviates from it is just thrown away. They don't think of men as human beings but more as products or machines that they pick according to their requirements. In order to understand this, just imagine you're looking for a new TV. You decide before you look, exactly what you require and then you go filter. That's how women look for a partner. They filter. So if you tell them after years or even after marrying that you crossdress, that's like your super TV that you selected so carefully suddenly turns from black to orange. Of course its a detail that doesn't affect the quality of the TV but it'll still upset you and you'll feel ripped off because its not what you "ordered".

So where are the accepting women? They won't wear a label I can tell you that. You need to find out the hard way. Sorry to not have an easier answer but truth is best.

I know there aren't many of them but they do exist - and there are many who don't know that they like it but need to be introduced in the right way. Some day they might even be the majority. But for now it remains difficult for crossdressers - but not impossible and definitely not hopeless.

femmedrawerloco 7 years ago

It's nice to know that there are more like me out there ... a straight guy who loves the feel and form of female underthings.

femmedrawerloco 7 years ago

I had this girlfriend for years. I shared with her my secret admiration for women's unmentionables. I told her that I love the feel of such articles. I particularly told her that I love the smoothness of nylons, satins and silks. And that I love to wear them.

At the time I first told her, she was momentarily shocked but she took it all maturely and reasonably. In short, she accepted my inclination to wear women's underthings. Even shorter, she accepted me.

Every once in awhile or whenever there's an occasion, like birthdays or valentine's day, I would buy her some lingerie, like babydolls, camisoles, and chemise sets. And oftentimes, while I buy for her, I buy for myself.

One time, I get to surprise her by wearing a camisole set before we even make out. Our bodies sliding together with the lingerie material was just so electrifying and full of intensity.

Unfortunately, we have to go on our separate ways. But I still am thankful that she accepted me as I am. And, I thank her for giving me some memorable lingerie for me to wear as well.

And to Hope, thank you for having this hub... :-)

(Note: We broke-up not because of my lingerie wearing inclination but because of some other matters we cannot agree on.)

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cheshirekatt40 6 years ago

Lucy, I enjoy my lingerie but I'm still as masculine as the next guy. Thanks for the thoughtful message. The world needs more people like you.

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

And like you cheshirkatt

Marie GG 6 years ago

My husband of 10 years (after dating for eight years) came out to me last month. I was furious, betrayed, depressed, and sickened. Until a few days ago when I actually saw him en femme. I don't know what came over me, but I am now just barely crawling out of bed after marathon sex sessions. I've never been so turned on, and I don't know why. I helped him buy more lingerie this morning and I feel like a teenager again. I really don't know why this is so hot for me, but it really is. I am glad I'm not alone.

I guess women like us are fetishists?

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

Hi Marie GG.

Well lingerie just looks hot on people - male or female. I just love looking at his legs in suspenders and it's so exciting to know that he's actually a man. Can't stop drooling over that. So yep, you so aren't alone.

Hmm, I suppose it resembles fetishism in some ways. What the hell, have fun and enjoy life as long as you're doing no harm it's cool.

Andy 6 years ago

I have been cross dressing since I was a boy. My mom would make me wear dresses she was making for my sisters to measure them up. One day she had she had girl friends around whilst I was in a dress she was making for my sister and I they asked me to put on a pair of panties and bra.. I have never forgot the feeling of excitement and feminity to be accpeted as a girl amongst the group of ladies.. That was many years ago and I still enjoy the experience. My wife came home early from work a while back and found me wearing one of her dresses and lingerie, she was angry at first but now accepts my femine side and we are still happily married after 27 years.

SecretDesire 6 years ago

You are right, Luci, in saying that women's lingerie is sexually appealing on men or women. And for Marie GG, don't worry about your husband's wearing your lingerie.

If it turns him on and makes lovemaking more enjoyable, then it's a positive experience for both of you.

I occasionally cross-dress in nylons, boyshorts or thong bikinis, babydoll or teddi, and ankle-strap stiletto sandals. Some time ago, a very free-spitited woman coaxed/dared/enticed me into slipping into her lingerie and making love to her -- and the experience was intensely satisfying for both of us. Even now, I am wearing silky-soft black thigh highs, sheer black boyshorts, a sheer black waist-length teddi-style top, and ankle-strap sandals.

I enjoy connecting with my feminine side. Women who are willing to encourage men to become less inhibited and express their feminine side in the form of lingerie may find the bedroom a much more erotic and exciting place.

Jake 6 years ago

i really really really really really hope i can meet a girl like you someday.

A J 6 years ago

I'm 44 and I began cross dressing when I was about 5 or 6 years old but I've never really been able to come to terms with it. I'm 100% man and I have a clearly defined sense of what being a man entails and dressing in women's clothes doesn't fit in with it so I've always felt a crushing sense of guilt that I have an urge to dress up and adopt a female role. This is the unpleasant side of cross dressing - I'm still a virgin and I've not had any relationships since I was a teenager. I've always found it extremely difficult to relate to women and I suspect my cross dressing and the sense of guilt have something to do with that. On the one hand I might like to explore my feminine side but at the same time I could never reconcile that with my belief that such unmanly behaviour is unacceptable.

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author


Sorry for taking so long to publish your comment. I've been busy with my new site.

First you have my sympathy for your predicament but I also have some hopefully healthy criticism for you. I'll try not to sound like a counselor.

It seems that most of your problems stem from your own attitude. The old saying "love yourself before you can love anyone else" has some truth to it. You must forgive yourself for what you do. As long as you're not harming people you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Trust me, if most people would be allowed to do whatever they wanted, they would do some atrocious things. Crossdressers are the innocent people in this world. They should be held as an example for good nature and gentle behavior. What kind of fantasies do you think are going on in your neighbor's heads once in a while? Seriously, I'd rather live in a world that fulfills every dream of a random crossdresser, than one that does that for a random average person (male or female).

Please also try to remember that women are only people too. Most of us have issues just like you have and most of us have a hard time relating to men for similar reasons. You might have a lot more in common with women than you are aware of. Perhaps focusing on such things will get you a step closer to relating to them.

Hope I could help and feel free to post more comments please.

A Johnston 6 years ago

Lucy. Thanks very much for taking the time to reply and I appreciate the advice you have given. It might interest you to know the reasons why I believe that I was drawn to cross dressing as a child. I was the youngest of five children and there was a very wide age gap between me and my elder siblings and when I was young in my household I had two teenaged sisters and my mother and very little male contact outwith that as my father worked long hours. I think I developed an intimate connection with my sisters and "girly" things because I never had any regular contact with males with whom I could connect. That is why people shouldn't judge or condemn cross dressers - people are products of their environment and upbringing and given the nature of my household environment it wasn't perhaps surprising that I grew up without any clearly defined conception of the boundaries and differences between boys and girls that society likes to construct. Given a choice I would rather not have been a crossdresser but I didn't have a choice so it's a part of my life that I have to come to terms with. I should also add that even discussing this is very cathartic because it's something that throughout my life I've always preferred to sweep under the carpet and avoid addressing.

melody 6 years ago

I have always preferred cross dressing men as a romantic interest from the fist time as a child I saw "Some Like it Hot" but did not fully realize it until I had been married, divorced, had affairs with women and found that I could not love any of them fully. When I started seeking CD dating, I was told "there are no women who prefer cross-dressers and that I was a "freak among freaks" and these comments are from TG and CD persons! I have done many services in the TG community for many years. I dated a few girls that were happy as CDs and were not interested in SRS and after a decade of disappointment, finally gave up. Still wish I could find a man to dress up and dance with or dress down and go hike with.

Jane 6 years ago


I would love to find a woman I could dress up with and dance. I would not mind hiking. What Issues of disappointment are you refering to?

Alicia 6 years ago

Cool lady, wish there were more like her. She seems very secure in her own skin, making her boy friend more secure in his...hope they have a long loving relationship I know she won't be disappointed, as long as he does not go weird on her.

katrina 6 years ago

I was always scared to show my true self to those I love especially girlfriends. However, I've been lucky. most of my girlfriends all though unsure at first have all come to enjoy our female adventures together. Playing dress-up, sharing make-up, its become a habitual thing. I've been doing this since I was 4, and its so wonderful to know that there are women out there who will not only accept me but also love our femme moments.

Never assume, things are set in stone!

Love the advice!!!

xoxo Katrina

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sissychuck44 6 years ago

great hub, Lucy!! wished there were more women out there like you.

Anon 6 years ago

Well You're a very rare woman : )

Wow, you're a blessing and well I believe your boyfriend knows how lucky he is to have someone like you. I did at one point, she was amazing and understanding, I told her about 3 weeks after seeing each other as it is difficult to mention your cross-dressing fetish off the get go. She was speechless at first but it did not bother her, I can say and I am sure that she can still say that we had the greatest of intimate moments.

Some people are just too close minded and immediately jump to the conclusion of a cross dresser being homosexual when in fact a majority of us are heterosexual. To me it's a bedroom thing, it does not leave the bedroom even though my girlfriend eventually told my family which I believe it was for the best cause I no longer feel as if I am hiding a part of my life from them, some of us get that guilt, I am lucky to have an accepting family and friends within my circle.

I am heterosexual of course (I have nothing against homosexuals at all cause even though I may be a cross dresser I can relate to being misjudged), I am a father to a 1 year old who will soon be two, he is my world and the love of my life, me and his mother... well we're good, we talk and she still wants a relationship with me and all but I just can't. But I am like any other guy my age or even younger lol, I am a bit of a videogame freak, I am a hard worker, a proud father and a man in every way possible. The only thing that might seem weird is that I am not a fan of sports unless it is martial arts related or boxing.

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

Great comment Anon. Thanks.

This is what I keep saying to crossdressers. If you tell your partner at the right time in the right way, then we're not all that hard to find.

Sorry that it didn't work out in the end. I guess, with the way your comment started, we were all hoping for a "lived happily ever after" closing.

warm_loving_sensual@hotmail.com 6 years ago

I am a cd and if you want to find someone follow me

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kate17 6 years ago


I want to affirm your thoughts about crossdressers finding the right women.One thing I will say is that the dressing part - which I dearly love- is only one manifestation of the feminine persona of a man. As a long time Cd, I have had plenty of experiences with women who enjoy a man who can express both their masculine and feminine sides. I got married about 12 years ago after my first wife passed away. The reason I mention that is I went through a purge. My new wife recognized I had feminine characteristics while at the same time being masculine. Well, Kate (me) came back and I realized I had to fess up. She took it well admitting she should have guessed. I started dressing way too much as I had a lot of pent up desire. So we talked and established boundaries. I get to go out and can wear some pretty things around the house- just no make up and wigs. A few weeks ago, there was a X mas party (CD) and I asked her to attend. To my surprise, she said yes and proceeded to get a book about the subject to be better prepared. I dressed up in my prettiest dress, wig and makeup and away we went. She enjoyed herself and we have grown even closer than we were. She believes she has the best of both worlds. There are still boundaries ( no making love enfemme, for example) but she understands more about me and can totally accept me. We share so much more emotionally that our relationship has soared to a whole new level. I consider myself a "man's man" in pants and a real lady in a dress. How can that be bad?

By the way, for the GG's looking for men, there is a great forum out there with many members who would love to find women who like their style. Also, after the party, another GG who was there said she met more "real men" that night than ever before.

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

hi Kate17,

thanks for the great comment. How about giving us the link so everyone can check it out?

It's nice to hear about your success. Lot's of crossdressing guys seem to feel that they'll never find a girlfriend who appreciates them and if they read more stories like this, then that will hopefully make them a little more confident.

Kate cross 6 years ago


The link is www.crossdressers.com. There is something for everyone in the community.Lots of success stories of married guys - also some failure but that is life, isn't it.

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Assassin Fred 6 years ago

you are truly an amazing and loving woman for accepting your partner as a crossdresser. Many men would die to be so lucky!

Tricia 6 years ago

Hi there... I'm dating a wonderful guy who likes to CD. We're still in the giddy "getting to know each other" phase, but he is SO wonderful so far! Thank you so lmuch for this page. I have never been with a CD before and this is all new to me so in a quest to better understand where my guy is coming from and better understand my own feelings as a woman, this page has just been phenomenal :).

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

Hi Tricia, thanks for the lovely comment.

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Monique M 6 years ago from Kitchener Ontario Canada

Hi Lucy, I'm a 47 year old guy that had always had a desire to crossdress. I had a wife I knew would not tolerate it so I didn't. We divorced in my mid thirties and from that point on the desire had disappeared.

I was in a serious relationship from 42-44 and one night my girlfriend suggested we go out with some of her friends to see a drag show.

Well, that was the spark, I realized I really wanted to give it a shot, not drag, just dolling up but my girlfriend thought the drag queens were "creepy". I mentioned I thought they were great and I said "I'd like to give that a try on Halloween", she gave me that "OH NO YOU WON'T" look. A few months went by and I realized I was settling, I wasn't living the life I wanted and if she couldn't open her mind then there were bigger issues as well.

We Parted, and I began experimenting....I'm 47 now, I go out once every few weeks as Monique, I have dated many women as Monique and am very confident I'll find the true love of my life while out as Monique. There are so many women in their 30's 40's that are looking for love and crossdressing really isn't a big issue with them. I have put up my profile on a few dating sites as Monique and believe it or not I get WAY more interest from women.

If I could say one final thing, the women who are attracted to and supporters of us gurls all are self assured confident women who have open minds, and like Frank Zappa said "The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open".

Thanks for the supportive post!

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

Hi Monique,

that's a really lovely story. You're right about so many women looking for love - especially in their 30s and 40s. I can't speak for others but I definitely consider myself confident and assertive. It gets me into trouble with authority sometimes. And I do like seeing vulnerability in men. I suppose femininity is associated with vulnerability and that's perhaps the connection.

All very fascinating.

SophiaInside 6 years ago

i stumbled across this while actually searching for sites that specifically help crossdressers find girls who like crossdressers. no luck finding any of course unless i want to pay money. I have been into crossdressing as long as i can remember. i don't know how it happened but it did. I can remember being really young and going to my cousins house and asking if i could wear her tutu from dance class, and they actually let me do it! I am now 22 and have been crossdressing ever since. I have tried involving the girls ive dated but never had much luck. the last girl i dated was the best luck i had. she found out about it and allowed it to happen but never really had a lot of enthusiasm while i would do it. i want a girl who will ask me to dress up for her, that's what really gets the me into it. i would like to actually get a chance to go out dressed up and spend more than just a short time dressed up. your Boyfriend is a lucky guy!

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Lucy83 6 years ago Author

Hi SophiaInside,

You're right, looking in online pay sites for partners like that is gonna be hard. It's much better to meet people the old fashioned way and tell them (see my article on how to tell your partner about it).

I'm also beginning to understand that these things get better as you get older. 22 is still the beginning of your life.

Kathleen D.  5 years ago

My boyfriend is a normal manly guy . We are both 100% heterosexual. He does not wear anything that would show outwardly as female clothing, but he will wear panties and other things under his guy clothes when we go out. I would not be comfortable if he wore anything that showed on the outside. I even buy some things for him as presents that I can enjoy seeing too. We recently went on a trip to the Dominican Republic and he wore panties the entire trip. It was awesome! He did it as much for me as for himself. It was our romantic secret. Guys should be more open about this with their girlfriends. They might find it romantic.

amber-gary 5 years ago

i am amber today but i mostly am gary. i love to cross dress and be the girl of my dreams. when i am dressed i wear makeup and all. i have been outside and 2 cars went by and i know that they saw me. i love it when i am out and people drive by and see me as a girl. today one of them honked and this made me feel even better. i am now taking female hormones and my breast are getting bigger. it won`t be long and i won`t need my breast forms. i my self love wearing short dresses and skirts because it shows more of my sexy legs. i also love using tampons and kotexs when i am dressed. i wear panties and panty hose full time and i don`t care who knows.

JJ's women..  5 years ago

I just have to say that I am madly in love with my Crossdressing fiancé. He has been the best friend that I never had.. He is the most wonderful man.. He is the best of both worlds. I get a man an a women. Who could ask for more??

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fillettefils 5 years ago

Most revered Goddess Lucy, I just discovered your hub through a link on another site, and thought I'd throw in my two cents as to why men might want to wear lingerie or other items of clothing designed for a woman. I believe a big part of the attraction is that women's clothing is geared to entice MEN! Accentuating their curves and femininity, and quite often adorned with frills and ruffles and lace, and soft pretty pastel colors. Well, guess what? It works! Men LOVE seeing a woman in frilly pink lingerie and other items of feminine finery, so there is obviously an innate attraction to these stimuli in the most masculine of men. Often early in our sexual awaking we start to identify the arousal we feel towards women with their clothing. In the absence of a willing female to satisfy their lust, the clothes become a convenient placebo. If a young boy is then daring enough to shake off societal constraints and actually try on a garment so closely associated with the fairer sex, and experiences a heightened state of arousal from having done so, he will most likely connect those erotic feelings in his psyche for the rest of his life! This is often accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt which usually leads to a desire to be caught and punished and eventually into the formation of a submissive, cross-dressing, straight male. At least that's how I got there! :-D

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Lucy83 5 years ago Author

Hi fillettefils!

I certainly don't mind being called a goddess! Thanks.

I also like your explanation. But you forget that men also used to wear lots of frills and decorations - often a lot more than women. In most of nature men are the peacocks too so I just think that modern society is a little twisted that it doesn't appreciate male beauty.

fillettefils 5 years ago

Most revered Goddess Lucy,

I hadn't forgotten about the history of clothing styles for the sexes, however when it is the norm for men to wear frills and lace, it is no longer sexualized

5 years ago

yeah i've been crossdressing for years now. i'm 27 and until this last relationship i have been dumped for being open about it to all of my past gfs. my fiancée doesn't mind it at all. she doesn't encourage it but she doesn't mind it and knows it makes me feel good about myself. i'm glad i'm not the only one.

Masonbrodben 5 years ago

I wish I could find a woman who could accept my crossdressing and dare I dream..... a woman who actually likes it and is turned on by it. I've searched my whole life for one, and I'm 37 now, and still haven't found one. I would be willing to relocate anywhere in the world to be with a woman who could accept me

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Lucy83 5 years ago Author

Hi Masonbrodben,

I wrote an article with tips for crossdressers in your situation:


Babygirl's prettyboy 5 years ago

I was introduced to this recently by my gf. We were in a very intimate and passionate moment, when she asked if I would would put on her panties. In the moment, I agreed, albeit reluctantly, at first. The reaction(the look on her face and in her eyes), was passion and lust all rolled into one. The sex was even more intense, intimate and indeed, more passionate than before. Soon, she was having me dress-up in more and and more of her lingerie and clothes, as her 'prettyboy'. Trying to clarify my understanding of this, I asked why it was that she didn't seek out woman but, preferred her man to dress-up as a girl. Her response was that to have me around as masculine as I am with her, that in the bedroom, the sharing aspect of our mutual appreciation is by far, more intimate, close, and passionate. Don't get me wrong, we are both heterosexual and only do this in the bedroom. she has explained to me that she finds me CD'd incredibly and indescribably, HOT. I have told her, she has corrupted me because I actually luv doing it, with her and for us. I actually have, dressed up for her, waiting in the bedroom for her to come home....you should see the reaction on her face when she sees me like that.......

Sasha 5 years ago

I know someone who is a crossdressing male, seems he wants to have a relationship with me, He even wants me to go shopping with him, But I am not so sure about a relationship, he even wants me to show him how to apply make up, he is a nice looking male, volunteer fire fighter, I don't know if I can have a relationship with him.


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Lucy83 5 years ago Author

Hi Sasha,

sounds like an attractive man to me...

amber 5 years ago

my name is amber when i am cross dressed as a girl. when i am cross dressed i love wearing a kotex and some times a tampon, because they make me feel more feminine. this is what us cross dressers want is to feel and look very feminine. if i had my way i would dress full time as a girl. i keep my legs shaved all the time and i wear panties and panty hose almost full time. i also love wearing tight body girdles with breast forms just anything feminine. i also love wearing all kinds of makeup. i also love wearing corsets the feeling of the tightness and how it gives me a girly shape. i also would love to have real breast some day then i just might feel better and i would then dress full time as amber

SpandexQueen 5 years ago

I'm kinda what they call a closet cross dresser. I feel too humiliated to wear woman's clothes in public, yet I love wearing them. Especially shiny leotards. I love how they feel but would rather wear it in private because I feel so ashamed of it.

I like wearing other things like dresses, skirts, tights, and high heels, etc. and am curious about wearing some other things as well.

I've recently got into wearing fake acrylic nails. I've been able to do them in such a nice way that I actually get compliments on them.

What I would like to do is work on a way to dress up without being a tranny freakshow. I know there are ways to do it, if you pick out the right clothes, put things on properly and shave your arms, legs and chest, etc... Even if it doesn't look womanly or feminine.

I think I would probably feel more comfortable going out with a woman if I were to do this, instead of being by myself in public, plus she could probably help me put things on, like the make-up part, or help me coordinate things, etc.

femmelilly 5 years ago

I totally understand you and applaud your openness. I have been on both sides of the crossdressing issue. I am not gay and in fact I like women so much that had I been born a woman I would definitely be a lesbian. I have been crossdressing sine the age of 6 and I cannot describe the respect and value that helped me develop for women.

I dated a girl who was very supportive and the depth of the relationship was indescribable. I still have vivid memories of our intimate moments because I trusted her and she valued me. During our intimate moments my crossdressing brought about my soft side that both she and I were surprised by it. It felt great to have feelings and be able to express them in a loving relationship. She got the best out of me in a way I have no words to explain. And that was wonderful.

I ended up marrying somebody else and still is to this day. 20 years later after my girlfriend moved overseas and we went our separate ways, my current wife who is 180 from my former girlfriend found out about my crossdressing. She was so against it and gave me such a hard time we almost got divorced. She has no interest in either trying to understand or even listen. In addition, a few years into the marriage I came to find out that she was sexually molested and absolutely hate sex.

To make a long story short, she hates crossdressers even though she knows nothing about it, we have no intimate relations at all so I have been living a difficult life. I will die married to her and divorce is not on my vocabulary. We are best friends but not complete friends.

How I miss those tender moments where I could be myself, harmless, with so much to live, share and give.

My wife has been very north before we got married and she was abused that would make my crossdressing nothing compared to what she did. And yet I have never held anything against her for the sake of my love and respect.

The reason I am telling this story is because you are powerfully right and women have no idea how much good can come out of acceptance and understanding. No man that I know of gives his girlfriend a hard time when she sleeps with his t-shirt. Of all the things to be worried about crossdressing is the least but when accepted in the relationship can bring so much good it can completely change the couple's life into a new level of love.

Women: support your crossdresser.

Man: love your woman with all your heart.

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Lucy83 5 years ago Author

Hi femmelilly,

what a great and moving comment. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

ginger 4 years ago

wife went to work at 3am so i got all dressed up and went for a walk. when i dress i always wear panties with a kotex inside, panty hose, tight body girdle,breast forms, short skirt or dress, wig, and full make up. some days i dress as a sissy maid and do all the house work. i wish that she would let me dress every day as ginger,but she has said the only time she wants to see me dressed as a girl is for halloween. one time we made love while i was still dressed and she said that i made better love when i was dressed. here is the thing she lets me wear panties, panty hose, and a night gown to bed every night. some times she evens tells me to wear my panties and panty hose more because they make my legs not hurt so much. i would love to take female hormones so i can have real breast.

anon 4 years ago

Hi Lucy, love the page. I do have to say it was weird at first getting caught while dressed by my gf(she came over while I was passed out drunk in a skimpy bikini :S ) , but it ended up making for the best sex of my life. I don't dress too often, it's more of a sexual thing than anything else, and it's always more fun with a kinky partner to take some cues from - as a dude I didn't quite realize how much goes into looking and acting sexy.

Bobby 4 years ago

Hi Lucy, in the immortal words of Ralph Cramden (Jackie Gleason) Baby you're the greatest.

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Lucy83 4 years ago Author

Thanks Bobby!

Rebeka 4 years ago

Hi to all,

just read that post... nice, very nice. I am just right now looking for a girl that would accept to get married to a me (a crossdresser). Just email me rebeka@netcourrier.com

Cyndy 4 years ago

I want to thank you for this site. I love crossdressing but more then that my wife loves it when I dress. She helped me with my makeup, helps pick out my cloths. She had me buy breastforms and she loves the way they make me look. She loves having girlfriend time because I get so submissive I guess you can say. We do each others nails and body massages, have girlfriend time. I told her I wanted to go out to the mall dressed but then backed out because I was afraid. She tells me all the time that more men do it then I understand and if i'm not hurting anyone so who cares. She is so understanding and actually pushes me more to do it because she knows I love doing it. I wear panties all of the time that she bought, I keep my legs and underarms shaved at all times. I can't believe more women are not so understanding. I would make every women as understanding as my wife if I could. The public needs to execpt it more also. I will be going out in a couple of weeks to the mall, so i'm told lol

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dressed2btrue 4 years ago from Texas


I have been crossdressing in public for about a year. I have met several women who did not understand it. I have a hard time thinking if any woman would understand it. It is a part of who I am. I have had these feelings since I was 12 years old. Maybe one day I can meet some understanding female who will accept me regardless.

blaggers 4 years ago

I got into cross dressing with an ex girlfriend in the late 1970's who loved my long hair and said that I had such great legs for a bloke that I should have been born a girl, wearing short skirts to show them off. We experimented with her dressing me in girls' clothes and making up my face; don't know if she was bi, but we ended up making love with her taking the dominant role, and the sex was fantastic. We married but broke up years late - I now have a a new GF who loves me dearly and enjoys making love to me when I am wearing a camisole and slip which both feel incredibly sensual and sexy on my body while she touches me. It's mind blowing and I wouldn't have it any other way

backseams 4 years ago

Hi Lucy...have always had a fondness for seeing a woman in nylons...later pantyhose since most women of the day wore stockings...the feel the look... many years later a GF I had at the time had boughten a pair of FF stockings and one day when not home i tried them on... oh my...how good they felt on.... started to wear stockings and pantyhose as a sexual release.... again many years passed by and the GF I had then was more open than many.... one night I Dressed up in stockings, garter belt and panties under a light house coat I had ...walked into the room she was waiting in..... She was so turned on that we had some of the best sex I have ever had..... years later a new GF that embraced the idea and helped me experiment with crossdressing...up till then it had been a stocking thing... now full make-up...complete outfit with wig ,shoes ,stockings and garter belt, panties , bra (purchased a pair of prostetic breasts) dresses or skirts...I have even gone out dressed up...what a trip... I am now single again... and want so much to meet a woman that is as understanding as you...the parachute referance is a GREAT one... more people should be like that parachute....Love You....

Sam 4 years ago

There is a hub here called you'll never convince me that it is harmless. I read a little of it and while I do feel sorry that, that happened to that women I wish she would keep it to herself and not speak for all crossdressers or people in relationships with them you know if men cant wear womens cloths then maybe women just should not wear mens cloths either like pants, suits, ties, and t shirts, clothes originally designed for men and yet we see women wear them all the time.

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SatinDiapers 4 years ago

I recently had the opportunity to meet a woman and move on from a failed marriage. No doubt my desire to CD has been a factor in the demise of that marriage.

Anyway, in meeting a new woman, I made it a point that I would let her in on my secret before a relationship could take shape. I wanted everything on the table before there was anything to seriously mess up. Well, things went better than I could have imagined. I didn't even hope for anything, it just sort of happened.

Nothing has happened yet, but I can say there has been a lot of planning and research. I am confident that something big is in our future. I say our, because she is just as excited about dressing me as I am to be dressed.

Stay tuned. There may be more to come.

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Lucy83 4 years ago Author

Hi Satin,

I'm glad to hear that. I've been writing for years now that that is the best way to go about it. Nice to hear a success story.

zipzap 4 years ago

I don't wish to become a CD but feel myself slipping closer into it. I am an underdresser. I am OK with that. I started wearing panties a couple years ago and do not wear "male underware" anymore. Now, I have an obsession to buy and wear more and more other garments. How do I stop?

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driver8 4 years ago from Los Angeles

I have always been a "guy's guy" -- played football, baseball, basketball, etc...had lots of girlfriends, and I am now married to an amazing woman. However, I have also always had this very strong feminine side to me that I felt guilty about. I always loved to watch girls together -- how they reacted and responded to one another, how they dressed...and always wanted to be included. My wife is learning that I have a strong feminine side -- she is cool with me wearing tights and she loves to paint my toes...I am going to try a bodystocking next and see how she reacts.

I'm glad I found your Hub pages and it is nice to see that there are many men like me. I think if more men explored their feminine side, the world would be a much better place!

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Lucy83 4 years ago Author

Hi zipzap,

Having an obsession to wear things is surely harmless, but if you also have the obsession to buy things then that could obviously lead to problems. I really don't know much about such obsessions so all I can do is suggest you talk to somebody who does.

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Lucy83 4 years ago Author

Hi driver8,

a lot of men into crossdressing are perfectly "ordinary" masculine guys. It makes sense if you think about it. Wanting to explore the other gender comes naturally to people and wanting to bring it so close that you feel it inside you is just an expression of that. Much more weird is how one can suppress everything feminine in oneself whilst desire it in somebody else. I think that takes quite a lot of psychological contortion not to mention effort.

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SatinDiapers 4 years ago

My girlfriend and I are now living in our own house, away from everyone. Let the fun begin! Oh wait. Fundage is very important here. With time, I guess.

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Lucy83 4 years ago Author

@ SatinDiapers,

Tell me about it.

Clarice 4 years ago

I'm female and probably pretty bi. A year ago met the love of my life, who's a man. I have never been happier. Our relationship is just ... perfect. The only thing I could have said I missed would have been making out with other women.

Then yesterday we end up talking about CD and finding out just how much we're both into that. Wow.

We even have a similar shape. Can't wait to lend him all my pretty dresses! Seriously, what are the odds?

Lucy83 profile image

Lucy83 4 years ago Author

Hi Clarice,

yeah, what are the odds? Quite a few stories seem to go like that though.

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SatinDiapers 4 years ago


You are very lucky. I happen to be 6'3" tall and about 240 lbs. At the very least, dainty and feminine. My girlfriend is very supportive and seems to block a lot of my size out of her mind. We will just have to see how things go.

Doug 3 years ago


Great discussion, Lucy thank you so much for the hub!

I am a crossdresser and have been happily and faithfully married to the same woman for 20 years.

I think the biggest thing for men is to let go of the guilt and shame of cross dressing, in my opinion, that is what is destructive, not the clothes you like to wear or the fact that you have both masculine and feminine aspects of our personality.

I think a lot of women would really enjoy a relationship with a confident, well adjusted crossdresser if they could get over the stereotypes and concerns about what others might think. We are all individual, and as you said in your original post, a non-crossdresser is just as likely to cheat, loose interest, or decide he is gay as a crossdresser.

I have gone out a lot both fully en femme (wig, make up, etc), and also as an obvious crossdresser in women's clothes, sometimes skirts, but no wig, makeup or breast forms. Either way, I only have only had one negative reaction from a drunk guy. Most people either pretend they don't notice, or make a point of being friendly. Women often strike up a conversation by complimenting me on something I'm wearing. I should point out that I am very tall and don't really pass, but I dress well and don't act like I'm doing anything unusual.

This tells me that there are a lot of open minded people out there who would be willing to give a relationship with a crossdresser a chance. My advice to crossdressers is to just get out there and try out different expressions of your gender presentation to see what feels right for you. If you are like me, it varies. If you are just starting out, find trans friendly places. I find that art museums, women's clothing stores, and beauty salons are typically welcoming. Some cities and states have laws allowing you to use men's or women's restrooms depending on your gender presentation, so that takes a lot of hassle out of going in public. You simply have to do it to know what it feels like, you will be pleasantly surprised!

Unlike many other posters, I am not totally straight. I had a couple of gay relationships before I met my wife, and I really think that has helped me to better understand things from her point of view. When women talk about dating men, I fully understand what they are talking about.

Thanks again Lucy and best wishes to all the crossdressers and admirers out there!

Lucy83 profile image

Lucy83 3 years ago Author

Hi Doug,

thanks for leaving such a great comment. Hopefully this will inspire more to take up the challenge.

tomsonia 3 years ago

I am happy that I, found this site, now I know that I'm not sick or something because my boyfriend is a crossdresser and I think he is so sexy love to see him all dress up

thanks friend!

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samowhamo 3 years ago

Something else about feminists that really ticks me off is that some of them think that trans-genderism and transvestiteism are misogynist seriously these feminists need to back the hell off and mind there own damn business no one makes a fuss when women wear men's clothing why does everybody freaks out when men wear women's clothing some feminists are such idiots.

nina 3 years ago

I'm a crossdresser, I've been dressing up in women's clothing for along time. I started crossdressing since I was 21 years of age and now i'm in my middle 50's. For all these years I don't regret dressing up , matter a fact I enjoyed every minuite of it. I enjoy wearing a wig and makeup to make myself look pretty , strapping on a bra and silky panties and a silky slip,and also waxing my legs make them nice and smooth. I pedicure my feet and paint my toes red and slip on a dress what ever color I'm in the mood for. And for my legs i'll slip on a pair sheer control top pantyhose with reinforce toe suntan color. and finally i'll slip on a pair of pointed toe pumps with a 3 1/2 stiletto heel. The feel of sheer nylons makes my feet feel smooth and silky inside my pumps , I feel so feminent when I wear them. When i'm ready to go out to nightclub (karaoke bar) being dressed up gives me confidence and makes a difference when its my turn to go up and sing in a ladies voice.

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