Why Men Wearing Dresses Is Good For Women

Canadian Comedy Troupe Kids in the Hall.
Canadian Comedy Troupe Kids in the Hall.

Because much of the objection to men wearing women's clothing comes from women, I like to address the feminist issues associated with men wearing women's clothing from time to time. It might surprise you that there are any feminist issues associated with men wearing dresses and lingerie. After all, isn't it simply a men's issue?

No. No it's not. It is an issue that affects all of us because you see, the problem with men wearing women's clothing is usually the fact that it is seen as making men too feminine, which they're apparently not supposed to be. But think about it for a second, if we say that feminine men are bad are we not also saying to some extent that femininity in itself must be less desirable than masculinity?

If we valued men and women equally, if we believed that masculinity and femininity were merely two sides of the same coin, we would hardly become upset when a man or a woman blurred the lines by wearing fashions commonly associated with the other gender. But we do. Though attitudes are changing, it is still impossible for many men in the world to get up in the morning, put on a skirt, high heels and make up and turn up to the office. Women, on the other hand, are often expected to do just that.

That's truly strange if you think about it. The underlying implication is that what really matters about a person isn't who they are or how well they do their work, but their gender, and they're always going to be worth more if they happen to have an X and a Y chromosome.

Though women have made great headway in obtaining equality, we're apparently still the less valued gender. If the idea of a man wearing women's clothing is supposed to be somehow demeaning to him, but a woman dressing in men's clothing is somehow cute and adorable, then we have a double standard along the same lines of it being cute when a kid plays dress up in mommy's closet, but creepy if an adult wears baby clothes.

The unspoken rule of fashion seems to be this: It's only cute when you're trading up in the world. It is apparently 'creepy' if you trade down. It may not be that we inherently look down on childhood, but we do view children as subordinate human beings, which is why we scoff at the idea of adults wearing children's clothing. In the debate of men wearing women's clothing, that tendency matters, because saying that it is weird and creepy for men to wear women's clothing implies rather strongly that women are supposed to be subordinate to men.

Unsurprisingly, the greatest objection to men wearing women's clothing comes in areas where conservative, traditional 'family' values are touted the most. In other words, in the areas where women are most likely to be viewed as second class citizens, as weak because of their femininity, and even merely as pretty accessories to men only good for popping out babies.

The disgust for men wearing women's clothing may not always be aimed at men, it may sometimes be misplaced disgust for women as a gender. Those who don't understand why men would want to dress in similar attire as women might very well be those who look down on women full stop.

So if you're sitting there curled up in hubby's big jersey whilst sneering at the idea of a man wearing a skirt, it might be worth thinking about what that says about how you value yourself and your own gender.

The more we accept the notion that men can wear what they want, the more we accept the idea that men and women are truly equal and that is good for all of us.

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Comments 7 comments

ANDREA 6 years ago

FIRST TIME I READ AN intelligent reflection THIS MATTER.

Thanks fort writing.


chevy34_00 6 years ago

You are completely right Hope. Thank you.


likewhatiam 6 years ago

Hi there Hope just wanted to say that you are still our best advocate in the cross-dressing department and I thank you for all your best efforts in this endeavor.I still think that it will take a long time before society as a whole will accept us for what we are without prejudice. I really hope that this will happen in my life time.Keep up the good work.


AlanaRaso 6 years ago

Brava! You nailed the root of the issue, it is a gender power structure. Pop out of your box, be prepared to be slammed.

Imagine a world where feminine values determine global policy. I see a potentially beautiful world.


leslie 6 years ago

you are right men and boys should be allowed to wear skirts and undies.i get over this by wearing a kilt and womens undies under,my kilt.


pauls_boat 6 years ago

hi when i have been wearing a skirt or dress it is always them men who do not like it the women either like the look or are not bothered either way but most of the men dislike it many men i know do not like to be out with me when i wear a skirt but my female friends love it also they love to go cloth shoping with me they say it is so good to have a man who can see what looks good on them unlike most men who just try to aggrea with whatever they pick up.

great hub by the way regards paul


AzraeL 6 years ago

Actually, WOMEN are more valued - for example, check male vs. female survival rates in wars and on Titanic. Men are the expendable sex - one man with 50 women can make 50 children. 50 men with 1 woman can still only make 1 child.

Now please play pretend for a moment with that concept: What's the best thing for a slave to believe? That he is, in fact, the master.

But why does man seek to achieve? Why does he feel the need to work, to accumulate resources, show he is a good provider?

Certainly not because women are devalued compared to men - he's looking to attract a woman, he's looking to show he is the best mate...

And SHE gets to select who is the wortwhile mate. :-)

That part isn't hard, look at Roissy's (Roissy in DC, retitled Citizen Renegade recently.) Sexual market value and sexual selection are pretty obvious if you don't look through rose lenses.

Another good example is found in Faux Whore - look for when she (TG) had to go for a mammogram, and her reaction to the feminine worth, as indicated by the medical appointments (meaning niceties) as opposed to how, when she was masculine - and he had to prove his worth every day, in every way. Men are valued based on their usefulness, their utility. Women can bring life, and are valued because they EXIST. think about it - and if the foo shits... ;-)

Now, as you MIGHT have guessed, I'm TG myself. Got the Progynova to prove it, but will never be passable, so.. :-( Such is life, I do what I can to get by, but I certainly don't have that "normal" male drive.

What I've noticed, however, from reading Men's Rights blogs, Game (pickup/dating) blogs, and the courses I had to take in college, is that you are 100% CORRECT in stating that FEMINISTS see feminity as less than masculinity. Look at the leaders of the movement, and you'll find Marxists, Communists, and eugenecists - like Margaret Sanger, Valerie Solanas, Bettie Freidan, etc.

Women and men (or, on the broader level, masculinity and feminity) are meant to be two parts of a whole, to be complementary. Make all men effeminate, or all women masculinized, and we'll watch society fall apart. Please bear in mind that Karl Marx had that goal in his Communist Manifesto. Elimination of the family as the basic unit of society, to be replaced with a "collective", IE, the State. It is mother, it is Father...

Now, should MEN be penalized for dressing in FEMININE attire? I don't think so. (Vested self-interest, I now need to wear a bra daily. :-P Sports bras aren't feminine, and aren't comfortable, especially in the summer. :-( )

After all, we don't penalize women for wearing pants? Slacks? Shirts?

Why not extend the same freedom to men?

Men respond badly when deceived regarding a "woman's" sex (In parenthesis because they are expecting a GG, and even a post-op TS is still 46 (X,Y) and genetically male - but a post-op can pull off the illusion, whereas CD/TG/Pre-Op cannot, and is therefore at GREAT risk). The men are thinking sex with a woman, and feel deceived.

A woman who found out she was sleeping with a Transman wight have some issues with him, right? Especially if GRS was less than perfect? So we need to be forgiving, a little. Punish the crime, prosecute the criminal, but also don't so anything stupid.

Wearign clothes shouldn't be a crime, unless you are using them as a disguise (under which law, a burkha should be automatically illegal - it is an automatic disguise, and therefore a threat to society. Sorry, we run into religious issues, but few Muslims seem concerned with Catholic issues, so - we all need to deal and make a society we can live in.)

If, as a GG, you had Herpes, and didn't inform your partner - whether one-night-stand or LTR - wouldn't that be immoral?

Same here, for the realtionship thing. But not just the clothes. Even the Bible seems to be condemning cross dressing only in the OT, and mostly as a way to set the Israelites apart from the other tribes of the region.

And that same prohibition tells the Isrealites that WOMEN should not dress in clothes meant for MEN, and they are not allowed to wear garments of mixed fibers. So the entire religious prohibition falls apart if we allow women to wear pants...

So why can't men wear skirts? Perhaps because the slave has seen through the game, and knows of "Eve's Great Con Game"? Perhaps because no man can ever be equivalent to a woman? (Both the Feminists and Conservatives pedestalize women this way. Women are human, too, fallen and fallible...)

Well, if the wealthy go slumming and get mugged, we figure they were asking for it. If a woman does something admirable (serve in the army as a man, report on dangerous conditions in a sanitarium, excel in engineering as "one of the guys", take the oath of a cop and meet the TRUE physical requirements... Fly around the world, even study the apes! She deserves praise and acknowledgement. The army, you need to look up - the names go back to the Civil War if not the Revolutionary, and even earlier in some cultures; Mulan, for instance, is a Chinese story that may have basis in fact. Nellie Bly was the reporter; I went to school with female engineers; Dont' know enough cops to point one out, but there must be some who make military, Fire, EMT, and Police grades without falling back on the "I'm a Girl!" defense. Ameila Earhart and Jane Goodall round out that list.

look through history, who lead the easy life of leisure, and who had to work their ass off to eb worth anything? Tell me again how women were oppressed? SOMEONE had to do the cooking, and they couldn't plow the field - it required the brute force a man could bring. Industrial revolution is recent, people.

So I'd guess that the women who object want a Masculine man, not competition (and given the sissy blogs i've found, most western women could learn a LOT from a T* when it comes to pleasing a man, if they weren't so busy being EMPOWERED to make the man cook his own dinner. )

No teamwork = no family = no social unit - only individuals. Divided, no common threads or culture of note.

So the man who wears feminine attire is weak, yes, as perceived by other men. He is also seen as weak and unmanly by women, as they want a man to lead them - but they wouldn't follow him out of a burning building if there was a flashing neon sign. They have choices (Right to abortion, anyone?); men have responsibilites (He's not allowed to talk her out of abortion; he also can't talk her INTO abortion. He can be forced to pay for the child even if he DOES NOT WANT it. But she can abort the child against his wishes. And please note, this isn't even the "when does life begin" question, we'll leave that out so we can stay somewhat on-topic.

Women want their RIGHTS, and their privileges, and someone needs to pay for it...

Who's the privileged one again? Who buys dinner on a date? Buys drinks as a way of introducing himself?

So it's not because the man is weak, or slumming it, or is even immoral (unless women are, too!) - rather, he is putting on airs, pretending to be something he is not, and ascribing to himself a higher order of being...

All a woman needs to do is show up. the man is the one who needs to attract her, build rapport, build a relationship, and until recently, that went BEFORE sex.

Feminists hate men. They also hate women. They will not be satisfied until women are made into men, and there is no femininity left in either male or female.

I'd rather kill them all... I'm not willing to kill myself to help them achieve their apparent objectives, so I might as well make the world a better place.

Look at other cultures for verification and validation, too - Muslim Sharia, agrarian China, Afghanistan, Africa, South America - where women are still WOMEN, and men still MEN. You'll see the same memes that are under fire here, there. For a fast-forward, look at the Black community in the US, and male incarceration rates vs. single-mother homes. Some escape the ghetto, not many. How about the laws on the books in the US, UK, NZ, and developing

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