Why Most of My Friends Are Guys

Because...

I don't speak 50 shades of pink and an open-toed sling back heel might as well be a horny toad swashbuckling tater tot for all I'm concerned.

But Seriously...sorta

I just got off the phone with a good friend- a woman who wants me to give her advice about the guy she is dating. This phone call lasted 2 hours and approximately 20 more minutes of texting in addition. Whew, I'm exhausted! It just confirmed what I've always known- I appreciate my guy friends so much and have found myself drifting further and further away from female friendships.

Simple vs. Insecure: Using the same example above, this particular friend and any of my other female friends, will easily spend hours on the phone. Had the dating subject come up in a conversation with one of my guy friends, it would last about 2 minutes. He would simply list all the problems with a girl he is dating and I would simply say, "Dump her" and he would say "yeah I probably will". Bye- and the conversation would end there. However, with a female friend it will go on and on for an indecisive eternity. Why? Because women tend to not respond well to blunt replies. I may say "tell him he needs to treat you better" and she will say "but, what if..." and it will keep going. Finally, I will suggest in the most sensitive, drawn out essay-style-accumulated-15-more-gray-hairs polite way she should not date him if he treats her poorly. I've heard women say they've been dumped because their boyfriend must not have like their new hairdo- once and for all, the world does not revolve around your hair.

It's not enough to give simple advice- simple doesn't cut it with women. They need to know what they should say and what they should wear when they say it. At this point I just start letting them answer their own dilemmas. If they ask me what they should wear, I ask them what they think they should wear and amazingly, they answer themselves, but as you can see, this is so pointless.

Independence Vs. A Bathroom Buddy: I learned how to go potty by myself when I was 2 so I never understood why I would begin needing someone else to go to the bathroom with me as an adult. OK I'm just being silly, we all know women go together to gossip. There is always a woman in another stall who will overhear your conversation and weigh in on it. Yep, getting weirder to me. Although I find it appropriate that gossip, which is basically crap, occurs in the crapper. Personally, I do my best thinking on the pot by myself. Call it what you will- divine intervention.

Guys fake it: Guys never let anyone know they have no idea what to do. I find this generalized trait interesting because I recently read a book on how to be a more optimistic and happier person overall. One suggestion was to fake it. Even if you don't feel happy, fake it. Even if you don't know, fake it.

Nothing personal: Women definitely take everything personally. I find myself spending so much time and energy trying to think of a non-threatening approach with my women friends. Instead of keeping track of my girlfriends birthdays, I keep track of their female "cycles" so I know which ones are likely to get pissed off. Just kidding, but not a bad idea.

Since becoming a mother, one would think mothers get together with other mothers to share tips and inspire each other. Yes it happens sometimes, but more often it becomes a competitive bragging session hidden with double meanings, personal jabs, and gossip galore. Somehow giving out your grandma's macaroni and cheese recipe get interpreted as you think they're a bad mother.

Guys simply tell you if you've offended them, which takes a lot to offend a gender that enjoys farting and belching contests. Women will find a way to hurt your dog's friend's feelings and everyone in between before they just tell you personally.

I hate shopping: I am tall and I order a lot of my clothes online. I can't just walk into a mall and try a bunch of clothes on that will fit me or change my style to match my mood, therefore I don't find the therapy in shopping the way many of my women friends do. Clothes are for wearing, not discussion or an answer to the meaning of life.

One of my girlfriends will try something on and ask me if it looks good. I know better than to say no, but why should I even have to say yes. Doesn't someone know if it looks good on them? Geesh- suddenly I'm transported to the judge's seats on American Idol. I want to be supportive and positive like Paula Abdul, but Simon Cowell chimes in my head to tell the truth.

Through Thick and Thin: Another thing I've notice is my girl friends seem to disappear when they get a boyfriend. Actually, some of my long-time girl friends lost touch with me after getting married and starting families. They're all too busy now, but my guy friends who started families long before I did, still find time to keep in touch. In general, I find guys to be more sentimental with their friends like the attachment to their dog or lucky pair of underwear. If I get to keep in touch with some of my best buddies from my childhood, I don't mind being in the same category as old underpants.

But...Why I still love my women friends:

  • Only a woman truly understands a woman. Some things you just cant discuss with a guy because despite the open attitude about farting and belching there ARE things about women that make them squeamish.
  • When times are really tough, women are the best nurturers and don't give you the deer in headlights look guys do when they see you cry.
  • We can complain to each other without fear of being a "nag".
  • We can giggle about our inside jokes and sympathize with all the female quirks about each other.

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Comments 40 comments

Royalmark profile image

Royalmark 6 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

Yeah! True and same for both sex... So! Can we be friends?


WriteAbout profile image

WriteAbout 6 years ago

I can definitely understand where you are coming from, yet I also believe it has to do with maturity/insecurity/etc- and that can be at any age. Some friends just require more work than others- and yes, that can be exhausting. Overall I don't think its the gender that matters- its the person really and if you truly like them, it won't matter or be worried about the rest.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

royal mark- you bet we can be friends.

write about- Thanks for commenting. I also thought it was about maturity, but I have friends ranging from 10 years youner than me to 10 yrs older and the only woman friend of mine that is always a pleasure is exactly 22 yrs older than me- go figure. YOU ARE SO RIGHT- it is the person themselves that matters the most.


boyjyoti profile image

boyjyoti 6 years ago

Women are the best nurtures for both women as well as men.

Anyhow I find it funny overall and may add a story here.

Two guys were busy galloping beer. There were 2 honeybees in the room. One of them asked,"How can you distinguish which one is male and which is female?"

"Simple! The one who is sitting on beer bottle is the male and the one which is 'sticking' to telephone is the female!!"


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

boyjyoti~ I like the story/joke and so true, except I hate talking on the phone. Sometimes think I'm the only woman who has an extreme dislike of phones.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Very fun read Izzy, we are great aren't we. =:) Just kidding, the reason we are so succinct is, according to Jack Nicholson, we are weighed down with reason and accountability...

Lest you think I am hopeless check out my "When It's Time to Listen" hub--It has a very funny 'Dear Abbot' example.


Royalmark profile image

Royalmark 6 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

Yeah! Yeah!! Thanks, Izettl :-)


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Winsome~ leave it to Jack Nicholson to set things straight- he certainly gives confucius a run for his money.


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from Camarillo, CA

so true about all that you said, i used to have all guy friends till I got married now I have a handfull of really good girlfriends that are like guys!!


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

dawn m. I need to find me some girlfriends that are like guys. I think that would make things easier even though my husband has finally gotten used to me having guy friends. Most of them I've had since I was in grade school or high school.


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Most of my friends are male too. I hate to shop also. Wow we have a lot in common. lol

Tina


Bilaras profile image

Bilaras 6 years ago from Earth

Man Powaaaaar!!! izetti blv me you don't need girls who are like guys, because its sound weird. Go for the original thing guys who are like guys. I am sure its pretty hard to find even that these day.

Congrats on 300 followers.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

I understand perfectly what you are saying and it's definitely true. I have a lot of female friends though, but being a guy, they don't talk to me about the same stuff. Great work!


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

granny's house~ I already knew we had a lot in common after I read some of your hubs. The anything, the no-nonsense view for sure. Thanks for stopping by.

Bilaras~ Hey thanks for being a fan. I'm yours too!I still have a lot of guy friends from high school and earlier even. They are more loyal too. We've all married and still they keep in touch better then my girl friends. Thanks again!!

Christoph reilly~ Nice to see you here. Actually you bring up a good point. I bet women don't talk to guys the same way they talk to their girl friends. I know I wouldn't bother gossiping to my guy friends, they'd zone out in 30 seconds. Thanks again for stopping by and the great compliment.


Huey19 profile image

Huey19 6 years ago from Chicago

I completely understand what it's like to prefer guy friends to girls. The few girl friends I have I've been friends with since kindergarten and we only talk every once in a while. I'm with the boys at all times for the reasons you pointed out. I've always found it more productive to talk to the guys about a dilema I have because they give those blunt answers right back. Thanks for the insight I hope to follow your posts.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

huy19- yes the blunt answers I appreciate, but not everyone does. Cheers to our guy friends!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 6 years ago from Tucson, Az.

This causes me to think .. My two very best friends are males, but my buddies are all girls it seems. That sounds kinda gay I guess, but it's always been that way. I've always been attracted to "tomboy" type girls who aren't hung up on makeup, and like adventure. I'm an only child raised by a single mom, so maybe I see things from both a male and female perspective. Got me thinking Laura.

Good subject, great hub.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

tmwnp~ I'm am only child raised by single mom too. I like to see things from both perspectives too. I find it odd, also in my life, it's harder for me to talk to and make friends with girls than guys. Dating was a cinch for me because I had no typical jitters about talking to opposite sex. Women friends of mine , since grade school, were always back stabbing and that made me uneasy around them. I guess i could have been considered tom boy, but I liked make-up at an early age yet still climbed trees and caught snakes in my jeans and t-shirt. Tom boys are great because they don't need to prove to the world that they are women- that's the way I see it at least.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 6 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I agree. It's funny, I have two daughters. One is a tomboy and one is more the Miss America type. They are both uniqely beautiful. Jamie wears make up, but if there's just not enough time to put it on, she doesn't have a second thought about leaving home with out it. Katie won't walk out the door unless everything's perfect. They're both beautiful.


MollyMiigwan profile image

MollyMiigwan 6 years ago from Naples

This is a great read-- Most of my friends are guys too, and for the same reason! I cringe when my phone rings... Ughh.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Women are always competitive around other women and that makes them a lot less fun. The best friend to have is a gay man who will bring perspective from both sides.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Petra~ Not just women being competitive, but when I became a mother, it got worse with comparing kids too. Yes I need a gay man friend- I was just telling my husband that the other day because there was one that moved in down the street so I guess I should bake a pie and go welcome him to the neigborhood.

Thanks for stopping by Petra


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

I really do enjoy your hubs.


Serendipity88 profile image

Serendipity88 6 years ago from California

PERFECT! Well written and I was able to relate in form. I found it to be funny, charming and serious all at the same time. Great work!


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

granny's house~ thanks so much for the compliment. I certainly respect your opinion.

serendipity88~ thanks for the caps PERFECT! I try to do a little funny with my topics, glad you could relate.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago

enjoyed your articles... keep writing ! :)


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Ingenira~ THank you for the compliment! You can bet I'll keep writing- it's become a habit :))


anonimuzz profile image

anonimuzz 6 years ago from There

When I was still very young, I had about 1 guy friend for every 3 girls. It remained almost unchanged for some years, until about 9th grade. At that time, the girls I met were simply more mature than the fellas, and they also considered me one of the few guys they could stand. As I grew up, however (and while the other guys grew too), I concluded that guys were probably the best deal, haha, after one of my female friends fell in love with me and I didn't know how not to hurt her feelings and mess up the friendship, since I didn't like her and certainly wasn't into "trying out to see if it works anyway"; that's rubbish. Guys won't fall in love with me (if they're straight), so it's one less big problem to solve. Besides, I like not having to call every other day just to talk about nothing, I like not having to give hugs and/or kisses all the time, I like not having jealous boyfriends considering me a threat and I like sports and doing cool physical stuff like cycling or walking around the hills, which only my male friends would happily do with me. But, whatever we may say, true friends are true friends regardless of their gender =)


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

anonimuzz~ yep I completely agree with everything you've listed about the benefits of guy friends. I really don't like talking on the phone, I'd rather be playing badmitton or something. I don't like someone asking me how they look all the time. It can tricky, as you explained, when the opposite sex friend falls for you. it's happened to me but now that I'm married, and most of my guys friends are also, we can just relax and be great friends.


Elefanza profile image

Elefanza 6 years ago from Somewhere in My Brain

Another excellent post. Girls can be sensitive and exhausting. Have you ever read Odd Girl Out? Or heard the article Spiking the Punch in Female Aggression? It talks about women and how psychological everything is in terms of warfare whereas guys are much more obvious. Think Mean Girls, if you've seen that movie. My closest friend who is a girl is more like a guy anyway. And having been to an all girls school for a bit of time, I can say quite simply that girls can be quite catty. And being rather short, shopping is a most depressing business for me.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks so much for your comment. I haven't read your suggestions, but I will defintely check them out. I have heard of Odd Girl Out. Oh yes, I do have "Mean Girls" in mind when writing this and many of my encounters with women friends. It sounds horrible, but I know you understand, when I say I have such a hard time trusting my women friends. Many of them are attracted to drama- love to create it and be in it, but I don't.


Elefanza profile image

Elefanza 6 years ago from Somewhere in My Brain

Yeah, it does seem that way. I went to an all girl school for four years...there's something unnatural about that much estrogen. I think some of my friends who are girls aren't so much into the drama scene, but they do girly things that just make no sense to me. Gossip, talk about their lives, or even just talk about other things girls talk about. It's quite mystifying. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. :)


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

elefanza~ I would never have survived an all girls school. I never understood why girls would sit around and talk about clothes or shoes- don't you just buy them and wear them? What else is there? I could write forever, but if I talked like this my head would explode. Since a few other women have written in the comment section about not liking typical girl friends then it's safe to bet we're not the only ones. Thanks for the comment.

`


Will  6 years ago

That was a good story im very touched


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

I understand you very well! Especially because I too hate shopping and I really do not understand why we must go to the bathroom in two! And sometimes I must put up with the long phone calls of my female friends, that I love anyway, as you said!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

fuscia~ thanks for the comment and glad to see I'm not the only one!


calliemorris profile image

calliemorris 5 years ago from London

So true - in particular the bit about women ditching their women friends as soon as they acquire a boyfriend... What even is that?! Bro's before ho's guys!


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

calliemorris~ Thanks for the comment. I hate when women do ditch friends for guys and then want to be your friend again when they need to complain about that same guy later into their relationship- ugh!


Jeanine 5 years ago

Nice read...


izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Thanks I had fun writing it!

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