Why People Cheat and the Rest Want to!

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Why some cheat and the rest wants to? Ask yourself if we humans are so developed, so intelligent, capable of doing wonderful things and capable of achieving the highest levels in technology, even putting people on the moon, we still cannot seem to control those urges that drives us to seek encounters with others and in the process, end up hurting those we love.

God and religion notwithstanding we still behave in ways that makes us appear more like our wild relatives than the highly developed species which we take ourselves to be. One question thus arises, are we meant to be monogamous? Is monogamy the natural state of man or is this an idea created by society, church and others?

Taking everything into consideration and even thought we have made a commitment to our partners to remain loyal to them till the end, even though we profess our love and dedication and emotionally become attached we seem to, at one time or another, waver in our resolve. Why do we do this? I don't have all the answers or profess to be an expert but here is my view and humble opinion.

If you are to understand what I am trying to say you must put everything away you have ever learned or been taught about religion, about our brain functions, about morals, about family and society in general for a second. Don't forget about it, just put it aside for a few moments for the sake of argument.

Have an open mind and realize first that I am not trying to start a discussion regarding what is right and what is wrong.Neither do I want to get into a discussion about morals, religion or anything related to a splitting of ideas in regards to different theories of evolution and whether man was created in the image of God or not. Nor do I want to involve myself or readers in a thought provoking article that leads to heated arguments.

This is a simple attempt by a layman to share some personal views relating to relationships involving man and women and couples in general as I have experienced during my lifetime.

Evolution as normally thought off, has been described as fact and theory, fact or theory, neither fact nor theory and so forth. The disagreements among these statements, however, has little bearing on the outcome that is in accord to the relative veracity or scientifically perceived truth in regards to evolution and mankind. Thousands of tests, analyses, DNA tests, archaeological and anthropological research has proven to most that the Theory of Evolution is a fact, not a myth.

Having been a photographer who specializes in many nature subjects, including the animal kingdom I have often wondered about the roles that males and females play.

You see, in the animal world most males and females seek each other only when it is time to start growing the species increasing their numbers so to speak. Only then do they get together and mate and with some luck, off-springs enter the world a few months later. I know, so don't say it, that there are some animal species that mate for life. But this is the exception. With millions of life forms only a handful "commit" to each other, humans non withstanding.

In nature the law of the wild drives females to accept and copulate with only the strongest or best fit members of the opposite sex. It could be that the males have the prettiest colors, the largest horns, they are the biggest, the strongest, the victor in turf wars, they made the best hole in the ground, sing the loudest, jump the highest or have the best looking nest, has a lot of "decorations" and so on. The reasons for choosing a mate are as infinite as the numbers of animal species.

I said to put aside everything you know and believe about religion and so forth. If we are to assume or even accept that according to science, at least most of the scientific world, we humans are descendants from apes, then by logic we are also "animals" in a rather rude way of speaking off course. Thus, assuming that the Theory of Evolution is correct, and we are in fact animals even in a remote sort of way, then that can explain a lot about human behavior and our tendencies to cheat.

What factors drive animals to seek each other and mate, appears to some extend, to also apply to us. Although in the majority of cases, to the human male.

We may be in a relationship with the most gorgeous of ladies, in the best scenarios, with children, nice homes, work, and have a great sex life, not a worry in our lives and still feel an urge to meet and engage with others of the opposite sex, a behavior which seems to be stronger in men than in women though.

Would it be so hard to accept that in some way instinct drives our behaviors? Yes, we are intelligent and rational beings, some more than others and we should honor our commitments to each other. But think about this, when it comes to dealings in work, contracts respecting the laws etc...we tend to do a better job of sticking to the plan than we often do with sticking to our commitments and the vows of marriage, celibacy or whatever.

If we eliminate the perceived and real emotional, physical, psychological, material and other risks that cheaters expose themselves to plus if we were to live in a society in which cheating were taken for granted, then the number of those who cheat on their partners or those brave enough to admit to it, would exponentially grow in numbers. Yet if these were true it would create a society much devoid of the elemental factors that holds us together. So for now the way things are seems to be the best fit.

Regardless of how one feels about a divine being, and the ways that things should be and how we should behave, it is very hard to completely trow out the laws of nature and the motivational forces that drives the wildlife to behave they way that they do. Since it is perceived that man is the stronger of the two sexes and from our natural history we were the ones who put food on the table a reasonable assumption can be made that we still in some ways need to prove that we are still the dominant of the two, although most of us males are terrified of letting our ladies know.

Lets jump form human males to human females for a moment. It's true, or ate least it is thought to be true, that the majority of women who are in a relationship do not cheat on their partners. They probably do not share the same urges than males do, or at least it is not as strong.

Traditionally through our human history females were the ones who stayed home (or in the cave), to take care of the children. But when a lady enters into a relationship, in spite of being in one already, she mostly seems to focus on the physical characteristics of the male; how strong he is (biggest feathers, tail mane etc), how tall he is, he can jump the highest, has the nicest home (nest), can talk (sing) really well, has the nicest tan (colors), is the boss (turf war), or has the most money (pebbles, shells, sticks).

Also, while human males can take care of their children, this seems to be as a result of training and observation, while the majority of human females seem to know by instinct what a child needs.

Further. the majority of small children prefer the company of their mothers as that of their fathers. This again, is the prevalent behavior shown by offspring in the animal kingdom.

We often refer to mothers as better able to take care of the kids because they have a higher pattern of demonstrating maternal instincts.This is not to say that human males do not care or love their children, it is just an effort to point out some similarities present in both the animal and the human world.

A simple observation of animal parental behavior shows that most females raise, feed and look out for their offspring while most males dedicate themselves to patrolling their territory, protecting their harems and hunting or gathering food. This was also the prevalent behavior of our ancient ancestors. Thus throughout our short history, in planetary terms, humans have demonstrated behaviorism elements much similar to those present in the animal world.

We have evolved in respect to behaviors and our approach to family life. But this appears to be as a direct result of influences by other factors with the utmost being credited to religious beliefs and expectations rather than to a natural pattern or instinct driven casual forces.

This is no way is meant to declare that we should give up our beliefs and start frolicking with every other person whom we find attractive in some way, but it does point to facts which seem to be undeniably true. We can argue about them until we are blue in the face, but facts are facts.

The only intention of this whole piece is to, in a way, understand why so many people cheat and how this has been happening regularly since the beginning of time as our historical records are keen to point out so vividly.

As far as human nature is concerned not all are the same which is also true in the wild, but there are too many similarities between us and the wild creatures with whom we share the planet.

However, we supposedly have the biggest brain, although some do not use most of it, are the most intelligent beings on the planet, as far as we know or would like to believe, and have come so far in our evolution, that we should be able and capable of remaining monogamous with little effort once we make a commitment to another. So please do not take this article as an excuse to behave like a "dog" as some males are said to behave or like a "lady of ill repute."

We should be able to be faithful yet many are not. No matter how much we try to explain our behavior and our faults we must look towards the lessons that nature has so kindly shared with us and the way that nature seems to arrange everything so well and the proliferation of the many animal, species on our planet.

It is said that Mother Nature is wise, and that God is wiser still, yet, I among many share this belief. Then it follows that somehow we as a developed species, just one more among many, have not gotten to a developmental stage when we can shed this odd behavior and live life as we should or at least as some will argue, are meant to live.


Why Men Cheat

"Charles Robert Darwin, (12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist.He established that all species of life have descended over time from common ancestors and proposed the scientific theory that this branching theory of evolution resulted from a process that he called natural selection, in which the struggle for selection has a similar effect to the artificial selection involved in selective breeding...Darwin published his theory of evolution with compelling evidence in his 1859 book On the Origin of Species, overcoming scientific rejection of earlier concepts of transmutation of species. By the 1870s the scientific community and much of the general public had accepted evolution as a fact...."His conclusion was "that man with all his noble qualities, with sympathy which feels for the most debased, with benevolence which extends not only to other men but to the humblest living creature, with his god-like intellect which has penetrated into the movements and constitution of the solar system–with all these exalted powers–Man still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly beginning" Wikipedia.

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We should be able to be faithful yet many are not. No matter how much we try to explain our behavior and our faults we must look towards the lessons that nature has so kindly shared with us and the way that nature seems to arrange everything so well and the proliferation of the many animal, species on our planet.

It is said that Mother Nature is wise, and that God is wiser still, yet, I among many share this belief.

Then it follows that somehow we as a developed species, just one more among many, have not gotten to a developmental stage when we can shed this odd behavior and live life as we should or at least as some will argue, are meant to live.

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Why Women Cheat

© 2012 Luis E Gonzalez

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Comments 2 comments

ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

I am sorry but after reading this hub, I have no idea what was its point.

The divorce rate in this country is about 50%. Morals in this country have declined and continue to decline.

The world today is filled with killers, both human, organics, environmental , such as SuperStorm Sandy, and unviersal such as asteroid, comets, and black holes.

Evil is dominant in the world, no one has to be taught to be evil. While everyone has to be reminded to be good. Laws punish the evil when they can but there is too much of it to contain.Religion also employs a deadly side, where some religions kill in the name of their god.

People haven't changed for the better in their entire history.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 4 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

ib radmasters: It's an attempt from a non scientific point of view to explain why some people choose to cheat. Nothing more nothing less.

The topic is not religion, laws, natural disasters, space aliens. meteors, Bigfoot or evil for that matter..............but thanks for your comment.

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