Why We Need Friends

friendship gives value to survival
friendship gives value to survival | Source

Do we really need friends? The Beatles sang, "I get by with a little help from my friends." And CS Lewis says, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...it has no survival value;..."

However, we must also take note, that CS Lewis clarifies his first words by saying at the end of the quote that, friendship "...is one of those things that give value to survival."

Make friends
Make friends | Source

So we need friends not because our life depends on them but because our quality of life improves with them around. Do you agree with this?

As Stephen Richards says: "When we make friends then we change from being animals to being human." Isn't that beautiful? That's real quality isn't it?

What a Friend Is

"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view. " This quote comes from Wilma Askinas, a grandmother author.

Elbert Hubbard says almost the same thing in his quote, "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."

While Jim Morrison says it in a slightly different way, "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."

So, if we put the three quotes together then we can say, ... a friend is someone who knows us thoroughly, warts and all, yet still loves us and and gives us space to be our own self.

Wow! That is so heartwarming!

a friends allows you to be yourself
a friends allows you to be yourself | Source

What is a friend to you?

Think of your friend or friends, what is or what are they to you?

  • someone you share a secret with?
  • someone you grew up with?
  • someone you walk and talk and shop with?
  • other? (please specify)
See results without voting
friends are like flowers
friends are like flowers | Source

Special Connection between Friends

Friends make us feel good just by being there. We know we can always count on them to share with us not only our happy occasions but more so our sad ones. They are always around when we need them.

However, if they cannot be with us, they are always with us in spirit as what L.M. Montgomery said in this quote below.

true friends
true friends | Source

Richard Bach, the author of "Jonathan Livingstone Seagull", has an even enigmatic way of describing this special connection between friends in this quote..."can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?"

friends across miles
friends across miles | Source
friends are like rainbows
friends are like rainbows | Source

Positive Effect of Friends

Friends have a positive effect on us. This is shown by the way several authors describe or compare friends to.

From an unknown author... "Friends are like rainbows. They brighten your life after you've gone through a storm. "

Rainbows always seem magical to me. So this would imply that friends can also be magical.


Source

Another unknown author says that, "friends uplift the soul."

We all love receiving presents, don't we? Well, Robert Louis Stevenson says, "a friend is a present you give to yourself."

friends are flowers
friends are flowers | Source

Still another unknown author said... "Friends are flowers in the garden of life."

Flowers are always so beautiful no matter what angle we look at them. So, no matter what angle we look at our friends, they will always be beautiful to us if we agree that "friends are flowers".

With all these beautiful things being said about friends, don't you just feel like calling your friend or hugging him/her?

As I write this, I just felt like writing to my friends too! And I am definitely going to do that as soon as I post this.

Some Famous Friends (Real or Fictional)

When I asked some people to give me names of famous friends, both real and fictional, David and Jonathan of the Bible came on top of the list. Frodo and Sam of the "Lord of the Rings" came in second and Calvin and Hobbes came in third.

However, I just had a small sample group, so this ranking does not really count much. I am sure that this ranking and the names will also differ based on the age group and even the educational background of the group. So I will not put much weight on this.

the glory of friendship
the glory of friendship | Source
Sherlock Holmes and Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Watson | Source
Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes | Source

Famous Friends Categorized

When I used Google to search for famous friends, I came up with so many different lists that depended mainly on the interest of the person making the list. So just to make it easier for me to sort out through the lists, I decided to make categories. I listed at least four or five sets of names in each category. So here goes....

Famous Friends in the Bible

· David and Jonathan

· Ruth and Naomi

· Jesus and Peter

· Paul and Barnabas

Famous Friends in Literature

· Harry, Hermione and Ron

· Sherlock Holmes and Watson

· Frodo and Sam

· Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn

Famous Friends in Cartoons

· Calvin and Hobbes

· Batman and Robin

· Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble

· Peter Pan and Tinkerbell

· Woody and Buzz (Toy Story)


friends are family
friends are family | Source

More Categories of Famous Friends

Famous Friends in Movies/TV

· Starsky and Hutch (Starsky and Hutch)

· Hans Solo and Chewbacca (Star Wars)

· Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha (Sex and the City)

· Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sofia (Golden Girls)

Famous Friends in Music/Sports/Business

· Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel (Bridge Over Troubled Water)

· Paul McCartney and John Lennon (most of the Beatles songs)

· Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert (tennis)

· Oprah and Gale King (business partners)


If you can think of other categories and come up with at least four sets of names, then please share them here.

A Psychologist View of Why We Need Friends

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., a psychologist, writes 15 reasons on why we need friends in Psychology Today.

Essentially, she says that we grow with our friends and they help shape our lives. She coined the term "friendfluence" to describe how friends influence us. Here are the 15 reasons she mentioned. I would suggest though that you read the original article for a detailed explanation.

  1. "Friendfluence affects you in more ways than you realize.
  2. Friends can give you vital life skills
  3. Childhood friendships start your learning process
  4. Teen friendships shape your later romantic bonds
  5. Friends can help you define your priorities
  6. Having friends can help you get more friends
  7. Close friends support you through thick and thin
  8. Friends can make you miserable too
  9. You’re less lonely when you have friends
  10. Your online friends can steer your thoughts and behaviors
  11. Friends matter to you, regardless of gender
  12. Couple friendships can help your own relationship
  13. Friends can give you a reality check
  14. Banding together with friends can help you effect social change
  15. Being a friend helps your friends"

laughing with friends
laughing with friends | Source

Why We Need Friends, Additional Views

There are many other reasons why we need friends and some of the most common ones are:

  • to share things with - our joys, sorrows, dreams, fears, mistakes, strengths, weaknesses, - anything and everything

When we share with friends, our joys are usually multiplied and our sorrows are divided; our fears become manageable and mistakes become bearable.

According to a Chinese Proverb,

...even water drunk together is sweet enough.

This is so true. Haven't we enjoyed countless cups of coffee or plates of sandwiches with friends?

...the same shared story and joke told over and over still elicits the same laughter.

I still remember a college friend with whom I shared the same stories and jokes dozens of times. Every time we retell the stories, we would still laugh out loud the same way as if we heard them for the first time.

  • balance

Friends help us see the other side of any equation. They provide balance to our views and opinions that can sometimes be skewed.

For example, in the Lennon and McCartney tandem, John Lennon has this to say about their friendship and partnership,

"He (Paul McCartney) provided a lightness, an optimism, while I would always go for the sadness, the dischords, the bluesy notes".


  • · unconditional support

Unconditional support coupled with sacrifice is exemplified by the friendship between Frodo and Sam in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. We are so familiar with all the hardships they went through.


friendship
friendship | Source

True friendship

These are just some reasons why we need friends. I'm sure we can add some more to this list. Suffice it to say that the world is really much better because of friends.

With true friends...we may even disagree about certain things, but we respect each others opinion.

With true friends... we can be silly and make mistakes, but we do not judge each other.

That's what friends are for! That's what true friendship is!

More by this Author


Comments 22 comments

Edward J. Palumbo profile image

Edward J. Palumbo 2 years ago from Tualatin, OR

Friends provide balance, and their valued opinions are a sounding board for ideas. A risk shared with a friend is an adventure. I enjoyed reading this Hub.


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 2 years ago

Love all your photos. Great sayings and I agree, friends are the family you get to choose. Rated up and shared.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi Edward,

I'm happy that you enjoyed reading this hub. Thanks very much especially for your additional input!

God bless!

Hello Angeline,

So nice to see you my friend! Thanks very much for you're always inspiring comments, including this one. Thanks especially for the rate up and for sharing!!!:)

God bless!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

Such a beautiful hub and voted up for sure. Thanks for sharing this gem with us.

Eddy.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello Eddy,

I'm the one who should thank you but you are very welcome!

It's great to see you! Thanks very much for dropping by! Happy that you think this is beautiful and rated it up. I truly appreciate your generosity.

It feels good to publish a hub again and see friends once more!

God bless!


D.A.L. profile image

D.A.L. 2 years ago from Lancashire north west England

Welcome back my friend, you have been missed here. Your work as always is well worth the visit and your images are always a delight. Voted up,beautiful and interesting.


theBAT profile image

theBAT 2 years ago

Hi. Friends are indeed important to all of us and make our existence meaningful and worthwhile. Friendship is one kind of relationship that should be taken cared of and valued. Thanks for this great hub.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 2 years ago from California

Where you quote C.S Lewis saying, "Friendship is one of those things that give value to survival" you make your point perfectly.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello David (D.A.L.),

It's great to connect with you again! I actually missed all of you my HP friends. Thank you for you welcoming me back and for your inspiring comment. Thank you too for the vote up, beautiful and interesting! :)

God bless you friend!

See you around!

Hello theBAT,

Nice to meet you! Thank you vor dropping by and leaving a wonderful comment! What you say is so true!

God bless!

Hi tirelesstraveler,

Nice to see you again! Thank you!

Yes, I also like what CS Lewis said about friendship giving value to survival.

God bless! See you around!


Syeda Zaidi profile image

Syeda Zaidi 2 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan

i love my friends... i have my friends like my family.. after read this their value increase in my eyes... u used nice quotes...


mathira profile image

mathira 2 years ago from chennai

jill, my friends make me feel worthy and they motivate me to succeed. Though true friends are rare, you cannot do without them. Excellent hub!


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello Syeda,

I'm so happy you like the quotes I used here. Thanks very much for reading and leaving a wonderful comment!

See you around!

Hi Mathira,

What you say is so true! Friends are really great motivators! Thanks very much for dropping by and leaving a beautiful comment!

See you around!

God bless!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 2 years ago

Hi Jill,

What a Wonderful and Refreshing Hub on the meaning of Friendship. We all need at least ONE good friend. Some friends, it seems I've had Forever, we go way back, sometimes, we don't speak for 6 months, don't life near by...But can Always be counted on. Yes, friends can be like Family, sometimes better. My Votes of UP & Beautiful and quite Useful.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 2 years ago from South Carolina

Hi Jill,

Your photos and the quotes you added to them, were delightful and reason enough to view this hub.

Friends do, indeed, bring joy, richness and meaning to our lives and can also help support us through difficult times.

Thanks for sharing this stunning Ode to Friendship.

I loved it and voted it up across the board except for funny.

Hugs,

Gail


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello b.Malin,

Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving such a heartwarming comment! I'm happy you enjoyed this.

Thanks especially for the vote up and beautiful!

God bless!


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello Gail,

It's so nice to see you again! Thank you very much for visiting and leaving a very inspiring comment!

Thanks especially for the up vote and everything else! :)

God bless!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 2 years ago

Jill of alltrades! Wonderful inspiring invigorating hub! As usual you have such lovely illustrations as well! Great examples. Lovely tribute to great friendships!

Thank You for sharing, Peace & Blessings! VOTE UP!!!


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi DeBorrah,

So nice to see you again! Thanks very much for your heartwarming comment!

Thanks also for the vote up!

God bless!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

I know I would not be here today if it were not for my friends, so I vote yes, we need friends.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hi billybuc

Thanks for dropping and leaving a comment. You are right, we really need friends.

God bless!


Damaris Bushong profile image

Damaris Bushong 2 years ago from Minnesota

Wonderful Hub and pictures! We all need friends, we all need someone to talk to and confide in or we will go crazy.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 2 years ago from Philippines Author

Hello Damaris,

Thank you very much for taking time to visit and leaving a wonderful comment! I'm happy that you enjoyed this. What you said about friends is so true!

Thanks again! All the best!

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