Why Women Can't Stand It When Men Wear Lingerie

Some women are just mean...
Some women are just mean...

This is in response to a question from a reader, a question which asked: Hope, Why is it that women get so belligerent with straight guys wanting to wear lingerie and or any woman's attire/ I don't see what the big deal is and do you feel anytime soon it will begin to become acceptable? Younger women don't seem to care as much! Why is that?

Ironically, or perhaps not ironically, two women had answered it before me, one spouting the false belief that men who like lingerie must be gay, and the other claiming that she liked manly men and that she couldn't handle the idea of a man wearing lingerie. Fortunately, if you are one of the hundreds of thousands of men who love wearing women's clothing, you don't have to be with either of them.

Usefully however, those two responses say it all. One, most women are entirely ignorant of the fact that men who like to wear women's lingerie are usually straight, and two, many women view men as little more than ken dolls. As I mentioned in my last hub, these impressions are not limited to women. There are also plenty of men who think that a woman must be a lesbian if she doesn't dress in a feminine fashion and there are plenty of men who can't stand it if women don't make an effort to be 'feminine' in their dress. I would say simply that these types of men and women deserve each other and are probably very happy with each other. Problems only arise when the men and women of the 'you are the gender you dress as' camp, meet people from the 'I don't give a damn how I dress' or the 'I like to wear the opposite gender's clothes' camp.

The question notes that younger women seem to be more accepting of men wearing women's clothing. I think that is probably because younger women are more accepting of everything in general. Liberal opinions often come hand in hand with youth. However, having said that, I am sure that there are just as many bigoted young ladies who would sneer at the idea of a man wearing panties as there are open minded young women who don't care.

It's a matter of a value judgment. Do you value a persons freedom of self expression, or are you too wrapped up in how people are 'supposed' to look. Without mincing words, women who can't handle men wearing women's lingerie are shallow. It's as simple as that They try to put the blame back on the men by saying that they must be gay, or that its just not right, but we know very well that most men who like lingerie are straight and that there is no such thing as 'right' when it comes to fashion.

Fashion is always changing and morphing. People who think that 'mens' or 'womens' fashion exist in terms of right or wrong simply don't understand fashion at all. They're living in the bubble of the world as it is at this exact point in time and they have little to no understanding of history.

The title of this hub is a little bit misleading, because many women can stand it just fine when men wear lingerie. There's some who can't and to be honest, they're not worth wasting your time with. Find a woman who loves you for you and either loves the fact that you wear lingerie or isn't bothered by it. Life is too short to waste your time with bigoted women who will never make the effort to understand you. Wearing 'womens' clothing is already acceptable, right here, right now. It's just a matter of associating with people who agree with you, love you and support you, not people who want to tear you down because you threaten their limited ideas of 'right' and 'wrong'.

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Comments 9 comments

Cantsay 6 years ago

I also think (as I know you do Hope) that other feminizations apply - shaving legs and underarms etc - I hate pubic hair so I shave it (all) off but I sometimes have concerns to how people may perceive it. At the same time, I think they can stick their opinions where the.......

Shaving and even waxing is becoming more commonplace amongst men, certainly in the southern hemisphere. For me this is surprising as in my opinion it's blighted by rugby and other masculine judgements of men. I've lived in both hemispheres and the female perception of men in the likes of NZ and Australia is that they have to be brutes, hunters, rugby players and so on, to be a man. They couldn't be further from the truth most of the time.

Why should any of these things, clothes, fragrancies, materials, body hair preferences - all be deemed feminine, it's ridiculous. Even if SOME weren't deemed feminine it would be a start, but none are!

Slap on the "moisturizer" boys cause it's as far as you can go without being stigmatized!

The world would be a better place if men were allowed to be more feminine!


entertianmentplus profile image

entertianmentplus 6 years ago from United States

Well written hub.Thanks for sharing.


UrbanRen 6 years ago

This may well be a very small part of the issue, but a lot of women associate such primping, attention to aesthetics, and overall prissiness a part of the "metrosexual" awakening that a lot of men had begun in the mid-90's. Too often, however, such narcissistic behavior was associated with a man taking attention away from the lady, he was with - making her feel less attractive, or nay, may I even say borderline competitive for compliments and attention. The worst cases of said metrosexuality were also associated with infidelity - a huge reason for distrust between the sexes.


ILoveLingerie 6 years ago

I hate it when people try to stick someone or something inside of tiny predefined boxes (norms). Trying to catergorize everything is so wrong I can't even state it properly.

People should stop to compare themselves with others all together and embrace the freedom everyone could have.

You think A? No problem! You want to do B? Why not!

You like C? That's alright!


GoneNylon 6 years ago

Um, Hope?

Ken's not exactly a manly man sort of doll role-model. lol

You might recall the Nissan ad from years back wherein a VERY manly-man GI Joe drove off w/ Barbie, leaving Ken in the dust.

Let's not confuse things more than they already are.

Nice work, as usual!


Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 6 years ago Author

I never saw Ken in panties, Gone Nylon :)


Gr8legs profile image

Gr8legs 6 years ago

In terms of what is acceptable male/female appearance, Cantsay's comments reminded me of how much the lines have blurred since my childhood in the sixties.

The foppish trendy dandies of Swinging London were seen by most as something of a novelty, if not indeed as somewhat comic - vis The Kinks' song Dedicate Follower of Fashion; "And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight, he feels a dedicated follower of fashion".

The use of perfumed aftershave only became commonplace in the seventies with some forceful advertising e.g. "Old Spice - the mark of a man!" or "Denim - for the man who doesn't have to try.....too hard". Likewise men's hairspray was introduced with masculine brand names like "Cossack".

The Glam-rock era brought further blurring with men wearing shiny, silky satin materials & make-up (The Sweet, Garry Glitter, Slade, New York Dolls, Iggy & the Stooges etc.). This continued into the 80s with the New Romantic era (Duran Duran, Gary Numan, Spandau Ballet).

Then, somewhere in the mid-eighties, something happened.... Power-Dressing for women. Margaret Thatcher had become the first female Prime Minister in the UK, with her skirt suits that were slightly more feminine reflections of the suits her colleagues wore and handbags that were of a plain and geometric design - little more than mini brief cases. Following on from her success women siezed the opportunity to assert themselves (rightly) as equal partners with men in society, with equal opportunities and equal voices. This was reflected in the way they dressed. In order to be seen as serious contenders in the business world they adopted a barely-feminised version of the male business uniforms.

The backlash to this was a reversion of men's fashion to a more obviously masculine mode.

The nineties saw a slow dissolution of these firmly laid gender lines that has continued into the noughties.

Gen-Y have grown up towards adulthood in an era of unequalled prosperity, with a high level of disposable income, unlimited and uncensored access to knowledge and the ability to connect and communicate (instantly) with others their own age from anywhere in the world.

Whereas over the past three centuries of have seen Occidental cultural and economic imperialism the being dominant influence on fashion - this being mainly by America during the latter half of the 20th century - there is now a much greater degree of cross-fertilisation.

Images of, for example, young Asian men, with their comparatively hairless bodies, less robust build and softer, slightly more feminine faces have led society to accept images of men who are not as overtly "masculine" yet are men just the same.

These influences, along with a few brave souls, such as David Beckham with his infamous holiday sarong that led - albeit temporarily - to tens of thousands of males accepting that it was OK for men to wear skirts (sometimes). Isn't it ironic how the jocks in this world will happily walk around the locker room with a towel tied around their waist in a style a-la-sarong, yet would baulk at the idea of doing exactly the same with a rectangle of soft, silky material?

Hopefully some courageous and masculine celebrity will have the balls to appear in public in shorts and pantyhose (or tights) and - unlike Kiefer Sutherland's effort - say "Here I am, a man in tights. I am not promoting some medaeival costume drama, I am not doing it for comic effect, I am doing it because it feels good, it is comfortable and because I like it.

There is one celebrity worth mentioning. He is a UK comedian/actor who has played a wide range of roles, mostly very masculine ones, who (whilst he does admit to being bisexual) openly wears make-up (sometimes) as well as both male and female clothing - usually mixed - in such a way that he doesn't apppear to be parodying women or trying to be feminine. I first became aware of him/this when he appeared on a 90s UK TV show "Have I Got News For You?". When the host questioned his mode of attire, he answered "I like to wear both men's and women's clothing". Check him out on YouTube, wearing women's clothing & make-up and not acting in a camp/feminine manner - it can be done!

Great hub, Hope.


Dextrose Lusture 6 years ago

You know, I REALLY HATE IT when women wear lingerie! Wear it on the bus. In the street. In the office. Darn, that's so distracting... Of course, I could always take off these X-RAY specs (uses airport scanner technology)... Oh look, there goes a T-Bird... darn that's fierce.


Sherman 6 years ago

Gr8legs, you remind us wisely. Actually, by mid-sixties Royal Lime was a common aftershave/cologne with many more (I cannot now recall) inviting us high school and college males to move well beyond Old Spice. And the young women loved it--even if we tended to over apply. We were learning that subtle was better.

Likewise, upscale shirts were available made of more luxurious satin-like fabric. Same with trousers moving to lighter weight cotton as well as the many emerging synthetics of nylon, dacron, etc.

Keep up the good hubs, Hope. Thank you.

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