Why Won't Men Just Stop Wearing Women's Lingerie?
For most men who love women's lingerie, the act of wanting it, let alone wearing it brings with it a host of problems.
There are the internal problems, in which a man questions his masculinity and sexuality, and external problems where others question his masculinity, sexuality and even his merit as a man. Men who wear lingerie must contend with the fear of rejection from others, and their fear of their own desires.
For the majority of men, the simple solution would be to simply stop wearing lingerie. Just throw all the lingerie away, resign themselves to cotton boxers and jockeys and things of that nature. Most men I know who wear lingerie have gone through one or several of these instances in their lives. They have rejected lingerie only to find that the urge to wear it comes back stronger than ever before.
Female partners and other men who don't wear lingerie might think that this is all a bit silly. Surely a man should just be able to give up lingerie just as easily as he might stop wearing jeans and instead wear suits? What's the big deal, just conform to the norm and everyone will be happy. Sounds simple enough.
Of course, if you suggest to the same people that aspects of life they deeply enjoy should be abstained from, you'll be met with horrified reactions. What these people enjoy is 'normal' and therefore perfectly okay. She's a woman, so her love of chocolate is understandable. He's a man, so loving his car almost as much as he loves his wife is a okay. But because some men have lingerie as their first love, they are somehow wrong?
It's a human trait to be obsessed with the putting of things into boxes. Trucks are for boys, dolls are for girls. Pink was for boys and blue was for girls, but now pink is for girls and blue is for boys. The boxes change, but our passion for them does not.
The problem arises when we start to believe that these largely arbitrary boxes are somehow a reflection of some sort of natural truth or divine order. When we start buying into the boxes, we cause a great deal of pain and suffering for ourselves and others as we try and make other people conform to these boxes.
Men won't stop wearing lingerie because men who wear lingerie truly love doing so. It brings them comfort and titillation, it is exciting, it feels good and it is fun.
The real question is, why have so many of us bought into fashion as a reflection of truth?
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