Why does turning 25 feel like a mid life crisis?!

Or should I say, a quarter-life crisis...

Twenty-five is a rough age. All your life, you look forward to being twenty-one so you're allowed to go to bars and legally drink. Then you spend the next few years being glad that you can go to bars and drink. Twenty-two is cool, Twenty-three is cool, Twenty-four is cool and then BAM. You turn twenty-five and suddenly, it's not so cool anymore. You're only five years away from being thirty. You start analyzing every aspect of your life. Where is it going? Why aren't I married? Why don't I have kids? Chances are by now, you know several couples who are getting married and several couples who have children. Then you start to think "well my parents were married by now" or "all my uncles and aunts were married by now" or "wait my parents already had TWO kids by the time they were twenty-five!"

Then you start thinking about all the things in life that you haven't done yet. I still haven't traveled to Brazil... I still haven't published a book...

Then you start analyzing the person you're in a relationship with. Are they the one? If not, why am I wasting my time? I'm almost thirty! What if I'm thirty and all my friends are married and I'm not?!"

Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. I always said that I would never move out of state because I'd miss all my family and friends here. Then I turned twenty-five, and all of a sudden I became extremely jealous that my eighteen year old sister was traveling abroad to go to school for a year in Italy. I'd never been to Italy! Hell, I had only been to two countries and that was years ago! What if I get married in the next five years and then I have a family and never get a chance to go to Italy? I started reading blogs about people traveling to different countries and looking at pictures of their journeys. I started remembering when I was back in high school and we'd take school trips to Greece and do all sorts of activities and life was so fun. I didn't even appreciate it then. Now I felt like all I did was work and come home and watch TV. I felt like I was too old to do some of the things I did in high school, but too young to settle down and have a family yet. Or was I? Maybe I'd be ready if I met the right person. Hmmm...

So then I started analyzing my current relationship. Did I really want to marry my boyfriend? I loved him, but I knew deep down that the thought of marrying him didn't excite me. So why was I with him? Was I just afraid of being alone? What if my future husband was out there and I'm missing out because I'm wasting time with my current boyfriend? I knew I didn't want to end up thirty and the only one out of my friends that wasn't married!

Then I started analyzing my job. I work as an IT Recruiter, so basically I interview candidates in the field of information technology and try to find them new jobs. I didn't mind it, but was I passionate about it? Did I love my job? No, I didn't love it. I did it because it paid well and it's something I had years of experience in now. So what was I passionate about?

Well, there are two things I've always loved since I was a kid: writing and music. I think it may be a little late for me to become the next Mariah Carey or Stephen King, but that doesn't mean that I can't do both in my spare time. You can always make time for the things you love.

All in all, I think twenty-five is an age where you discover who you really are. What I mean by that is finding who we REALLY are; what we've always loved deep down that makes us different from everyone else. I think as young adults, we know what our passions are, but as we get older we get so caught up in life we forget about it. In high school, you don't care about things you feel passionately about. You care about whose parents are going away that weekend, who's going to buy you beers and if your current crush is going to attend the party. Then after high school, you care about where you're going to go to college and where you're going to work. You don't worry about if you're current boyfriend or girlfriend is "the one" or if your job is the job of your dreams. But then when you turn twenty-five, you realize you have to think about these things. After all, you're reaching adulthood! What a scary thing. I'm still twenty-five though, so I'm still in the process of analyzing every aspect of my life and envying the people who have chased their dreams more than I have. I've always wanted to move to LA... publish a book... but hey, writing part time is a start to my writing ambition. I'll let you know how it turns out.

(See also, Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis - Part 2)

(So a quick update, my book is now available on Amazon... so if you guys like this article, feel free to read about 25 year-old Renee Evan's attempt to conquer her own quarter-life crisis... I'd love to hear your feedback! The link is below...)


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Comments 181 comments

helenathegreat profile image

helenathegreat 8 years ago from Manhattan

Great hub, I love it. Not that I'm 25 yet, but my boyfriend hit that landmark last year, and I remember all of these questions well. I like your exploration of the issues, and I'm interested to see where you'll go with them in the future.


Lowrychris profile image

Lowrychris 8 years ago

I remember turning 25 and doing all of the things you are going through. The questions. It was at the age of 25 that I moved to LA and began working in the film biz, and that was the first happiest time in my life (my second happiest time was(is, are) my children, but that didn't start until my thirties.

Here's the thing about 25. Do not marry anyone for any reason other than the right ones. My first wife was a great friend, but we had zero chemistry, and while she was comfortable being normal, I wasn't. I compromised from striving for excellence to being just under the radar. Your spouse is the most important choice you can make in your life. Careers come and go, and passions wax and wane, but a spouse can be the number one determing factor in your happiness. Life is too short to be miserable, there's too much crap in the world for you to ever have to deal with it at home. Pick a spouse that (cliché . Pick a spouse that supports you. Pick a spouse whose nose you can pick.

I think you wrote a great hub. Thanks!


bringum 8 years ago

oh..oh, oh...ahh!!


dgrady9 8 years ago

Great article!! I am currently going through the same thing, except I am in mid-life. I'm almost 49! When I look back at pictures of myself when I was 25, I wish I had the confidence, self-esteem and inner beauty that I have now at almost 49. I'll be turning 50 in one year and I have thoughts similar to yours but there is nothing like having life experience under your belt when making decisions about the future.

When I think back when I was 25, my focus in life was never about my passions, my future, my career and certainly my thoughts about the future weren't nearly as thought provoking as yours. I was looking fervently for Mr. Right, not knowing that the pains and hurts from childhood prevented me from chosing him!! I always sought out the Mr. Wrongs and had to learn the hard way that if you have deep rooted issues, they must be dealt with first before you can ever be "happy" in a relationship. We all bring "our stuff" into relationships with us.

I am glad you are "planning" and "thinking" about your life, because honestly, at your age, I was just living life as if I had no choices. I " let the chips fall where they may" so the saying goes. I didn't listen to the wise advice given to me from "older folks" like my Mom or Dad. I lived my life as if it would never end. I lived my life back then with the attitude that whatever mess I got myself into, somehow, God would bail me out. And now looking back, I have no regrets but I do wish that I "thought" more about my passions. I do wish that I had used the gifts God had given me. My fear of failure and my strong root of rejection prevented me from fulfilling any plans that He may have had for me.

Oh and by the way, children will be your greatest joy but make sure you have a strong, loving husband who will support you, love you and stand by you before you bring beautiful children into the world because raising children alone was never in God's plan!! God bless you 25!!


Chad A Hagy profile image

Chad A Hagy 8 years ago from California

One cool thing about 25 - you get a discount on your insurance....and you don't have to pay that pesky "Under the age of 25" fee when you rent a car.

My wife recently turned 30 and she was like, "Oh my God! I'm almost 50."


Princessa profile image

Princessa 8 years ago from France

Wait until your 30th birthday and then you will understand the real meaning of 'mid life crisis' :-) I am sttill recovering from the shock... lol


cnm619 8 years ago

I loved this! I just turned 25 in January and felt the SAME EXACT WAY! Not to mention that I'm not married, no kids, and I haven't graduated school yet. Add that to the fact that my boyfriend and I (dating 3 1/2 years, friends for 8) broke up right before Christmas, and it seems that all of those things I had planned before or around 25 just flew out the window.

Thanks for the great read!!!


Nicholle 8 years ago

Wow...those are really the only words I can come up with at the moment. Just reading this blog is like all the thoughts in my head that I'm too afraid to say out lout. Unbelievably creapy and exactly how I feel. I turn 25 in a couple of months and just the thought of it makes me mad. Makes me upset, makes me have to think about all the things that I don't want to think about.

I hope that things ended up well for you. I hope they end up well for me too. I'm scared.


reeree 8 years ago

loved reading ur blog... you really are talented. im turning 25 in a couple days and am going through the exact same emotions you described. just like cnm619 im still in school and newly single (broke up with my boyfriend of 7 YEARS around thanksgiving).... but yet i have faith that ill be just fine and from now on im just not going to think about my age anymore lol! =]

best of luck to you!


word_smith 8 years ago

So glad I'm not the only one! In anticipation of my 25 year crash, I quit my job and headed on a four-month trip. It was amazing...and now that I'm back, the actual quarter-life crisis has hit home, hard. The worst is sitting at work (my boss didn't let me quit--told me to take an extended leave and come back) thinking, "I have to do THIS for 40 more years??"

SO GLAD to hear that I'm not the only one! I had to laugh reading your post and the comments. :) I'm currently planning my escape from the 9 to 5...good luck with your transition!


claire 8 years ago

wow, great article. i came across this page because i'm hitting the big 2-5 in about 3 days, and i am starting to analyze my life like crazy. like you i feel that all aspects of my life are questionable, and worst of all, i am still SINGLE. so i can't even ask myself if someone in my life is "THE ONE', rather if there is going to be ANYONE at all. and it just so happens that this summer i've attended 3 weddings already, and it's only early June!! i'm seriously contemplating about throwing away my chick flick dvd's and going on speed dating. this is definitely NOT how i picture myself turning 25. :P

good luck to all of us who experience the crisis.


Jenae 8 years ago

I just found your article and wanted to say that you write really well. I am 24 and will be turning 25 April 2009. I am already starting to think of the things you mentioned because I think the moment I turn 25 I will have a nervour breakdown. I don't know why it is so scary. I guess it really is growing up and that is scary.


Tricia 8 years ago

The whole marriage issue doesn't realaly matter. I am turning 25 in 3 days, am married, and have a 3 year old puppy. Trust me...I still have all of these questions in my head. The main question is "Have I done enough in life?" Am I on track (in comparison to other 25 yr. olds) as far as accomplishments go? Have I slacked in any way? I guess my fear is that when I leave this earth at any given moment... What will the obituary say? What legacy have I left behind if any? Again, it doesn't matter how far along in life we may or may not be. The questions will inevitably plague us as each year passes and we reflect.


Stacie L profile image

Stacie L 8 years ago

you're ONLY 25?

I wish I were again.Wow! I would live my life a lot differently!


missbutta 8 years ago

I turned 25 this year and I still feel the same way. When you're in highschool you want to become an adult so bad. Then I spent my years in college feeling so young and fresh with all of these plans and ideas. I got somewhat sidetracked on my way to graduate school and then all of a sudden I turned 25. Now I'm thinking there is no way that I will get a PhD - What about kids, buying a house, saving for retirement, etc. Then, like one of the comments made above, am I really going to be "working" for the next 35-40 years? I am finishing my graduate program and wonder, when did I become an adult???? It's tough, especially when you are in school for so long :( I talk to grandparents and they say "you're so young" but it seems like life is so short. Anywho, I hope I can get beyond feeling this way and start living with excitement again.... Is it still possible?


anon 7 years ago

dear blogger,

i am turning 25 in two weeks and i feel exactly the same way as you described. i broke up with the man who i have never loved. i have started to pursue the man who i have always fancied. i don't know if things will work out for us, but he is the man who i truly want to be with.

as for my career, i am a little bit pessimistic. i am currently doing a juris-doctor degree and i still have 2.5 more years of studying. i am just a little pissed that i have no career at all.


Emily 7 years ago

I think the worst part is, you think "it will never happen to me". I will never reach a point where I start scrutinizing my age - I'm young and carefree. What do I care about age and appearance and all that goes with being a mid-twenty year old?

Fact is, I'm now 25 and I'm totally depressed about it. I can no longer get away with the things I used to as an "early twenty year old". People have these grandiose expectations now that I've reached my 25th year of mortal existence.

It's like suddenly I'm not the silly, fun and crazy girl I used to be - but a grown up, independent and responsible LADY and if I don't behave like one, then I'm immature and stupid.

I LIKED the fact that I could get away with being immature because I was young and didn't care. Now that I'm working at a full-time job, paying rent and bills I don't even have the time to be my "true" self as it is spent on keeping up appearances.

Yes, it is an age where you learn a lot more about the self and where you fit in the Universe, but quite frankly I was much happier in my ignorant, immature bliss!


Elko 7 years ago

Thank you for posting this blog! I'm turning 25 this April and have been day-dreaming about all the issues you raised since Christmas/ New Year! My professional training is on track, but I still haven't figured out my personal life yet.

Anyways thank you very much to putting your thoughts in writing and sharing it with us.

All the best x


twenty-fiver 7 years ago

Great Hub, I'm in the exact same boat as well. 25 is really discovering what you like. I actually just took a hip hop dance class today. I'm an avid clubber and use to brag that i never needed dance lessons, but really i've always wanted to try choreography and it was pretty fun.

Also it seems at 25 the only big events now are Weddings, babyshowers, and birthday's where it the birthday person doesn't say their age, just that "its their birthday" lol.

Great hub, again


Dandy 7 years ago

U have scared me out of my wits now...im gonna be 26 in the next 2 months and its defn not a good feeling......


Boo 7 years ago

You described all of my concerns right now...I'm 27 and I feel such an emptyness in my life. Still single, do I'll know love one day. Everybody around me is in a relationship or have kids. Hope I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel soon!! Send me good luck...


OeemGee 7 years ago

ugh! i never thought i would dread a birthday party! but, i don't want to celebrate turning 25! like y'all i feel like there is just soo much to deal with!


ChosenDior 7 years ago

HEY GUYS I'M TURNING 25 IN APRIL 2009 AND I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED. I STILL FEEL YOUNG AT HEART SO I'M NOT GONNA LET AGE DEFINE AND RESTRICT MY CHARACTER BUT AT THE SAME TIME I'M NOBODY'S FOOL. I FIND MYSELF IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS OF BEING 24 RIDDING MYSELF OF HABITS THAT ONCE KEPT ME SHACKLED SUCH AS GOING OUTSIDE WITHNO MAKEUP, I DO IT PROUDLY NOW AND FIND MYSELF GETTIN "WOW YOU LOOK 19 YOUNG" COMPLIMENTS, I SPEAK MY MIND MORE OFTEN IN A NON-OFFENSIVE WAY BUT THE POINT IS STILL CLEAR. I HAVE MANY TALENTS BUT NO OFFICIAL CAREER SO I FEEL NOW'S THE TIME TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT A CAREER. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND DAUGHTER WHOM I LOVE DEARLY. 25 IS A CELEBRATION TO ME OF NEW LIFE BECAUSE I'M STILL MY OLD SELF MINUS THE STUPIDITY AND FOOLISHNESS. I LOOK AT IT AS BEING 25YEARS YOUNG. I HAVE 11 MORE DAY UNTIL THE BIG DAY SO I'M CONSTANTLY REMINDING MY SELF TO SLOW DOWN ON BEING NAÏVE. OTHER THAN THAT 25 IS MONUMENTAL BECAUSE TUPAC DIED AT 25 AND HAD THE WISDOM OF A MAN 3 TIMES HIS AGE. KURT COBAIN DIED AT 24 AND IS THE GREATEST ROCK LEAD SINGER TO DATE. AALIYAH DIED AT 22 AND HAD SO MUCH PROMISE THEREFORE I'M VERY THANKFUL TO MOVE INTO THE NEXT PHASE OF MYLIFE. I NOT ONLY HAVE TO FOCUS ON MY FAMILY, CAREER AND GROWING SPIRITUALLY BUT NOW I HAVE TO BUILD A LEGACY, WHERE AS WHEN I DIE, I STILL LIVE IN THE HEARTS OF MANY FOR BING PHENOMENAL.


RB  7 years ago

Kurt Cobain died at 27 actually


jgtyler 7 years ago

holy crap, high school .....bombed a couple years at college now im 25 at a dead end job!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


craptastic 7 years ago

Oh jee...just read this. I'm about to turn 23 and I'm freaking out. Still in college while my friends are all married with children. Some have two!! I have a dead end job I feel too timid to quit. Never even had a boyfriend and the wrinkles won't stop. I should have moved when I had the chance. : (


gleegirl 7 years ago

I'm turning 25 this July. I'm having the crisis of feeling void all the time. I feel I'm too old to start studying anything that might take me 4 years to finish. I had a plan to get married and have kids before I was 25. Well I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and we aren't even engaged! I question our relationship often. Is he the one? I can't stand him today but the next day I love him to death! I don't want to talk to him but then I'm calling him every hour.... UGHHHHHH... This is making me go crazy. I am starting to question things I've never questioned before. I have a 9-5 job. But I really want to dance. I think I'm going to start to take dance classes at the local college. I hope this quarter crisis goes away soon!


sybs 7 years ago

I´m turning 25 tomorrow, and these last couple of months have been the most intense for me in terms of soul searching etc... For me it´s kinda bittersweet, because, I did get to accomplish some things I´ve always wanted to accomplish before turning 25, but at the same time, I really need to start boosting my carreer and start thinking about moving away to a different country (I´m not sure I wanna get married and have kids before 35 tho), but yeah, turning 25 is very intense ! I´ll tell u this much !


jpa7d8 7 years ago

TODAY I TURN 25!! Out of curiosity to see what it means to turn 25, I found your article. I'm soooo glad I'm not alone! ^_^ Luckily, I just got back from a tour of Spain, Italy and Greece...so I can check that off the list. But I've been definitely feeling the crunch with the wedding and kids thing. All of my friends from high school are either married, expecting, or/and have growing babies. I'm like..."I'm the last one!" The only thing that holds off overmounting worries is the thought that I'm still pursuing my education...so, after that's done, then I'll freak out (that's if my boyfriend hasn't purposed already). LOL! I can't wait to hear how your coming along! Thanks for the great read and keep it up!


25 and hating it 7 years ago

OMG! This is exactly how i feel i just turned 25, three months ago. everything went downhill. life sucks right now. thanks for the good read. im glad im not the only one going thru this.i just hope things get better. right now i just want to scream!! (AHHHHHHH)


Benderjl1 7 years ago

I guess this is a common thing that goes on with people around your age. Check out this blog too. It is pretty funny. http://themid20scrisis.blogspot.com/


Jack 7 years ago

hey, that was a nice piece of blogging. i am turning 25 right now!! and i can definitely relate to the things you were writing about. i lost my job 8 months ago and have had a really tough time getting my life sorted out (legal/psychological stuff), so it's comforting to hear that other people out there are feeling apprehensive and maybe a little bit unfulfilled as well. i guess this is all just part of the inevitablilty of aging, but something tells me that our suffering economy has everyone questioning their futures a bit harder. here's to a new chapter and the courage to make it real!


nichole 7 years ago

I’m feeling the same way but my situation I’m sure is completely different than most. I have been having progressing chronic pain since I was almost 18. I went to countless doctors for 6 years trying to find out what was wrong with me. It wasn’t until may 2008 (1 month before my 23rd birthday) that I got my diagnosis. At first it was a relief that there was finally an explanation but that didn’t last long as I found I would have it for the rest of my life. I have a chronic neurological disease along with many other related disorders involving my spine and brain, it’s extremely painful, it only progresses and there is no cure. The only hope is surgery and even then it is not a cure, it just helps slow down the progression. I also need further surgeries for my other disorders in hopes of even just a little bit of relief. I wasn’t able to go to college because of the pain and I have missed out on normal growing experiences most people have from age 18. I’m now 24 and I started worrying about turning 25 about 3 months before my 24th birthday, when I returned home from the hospital after having brain surgery. It was then that I worried I may never be able to go to school, meet a good guy, get married and have kids. It has now been 7 months since my surgery and my life consists of nothing but agonizing pain. I haven’t been able to go out socially in over a year and I have felt like my youth has just passed me by and I never got to actually enjoy it. I’m sooo scared for my future, as of now I can’t live on my own because I can’t drive and I need help with a lot because I’m very sick. I just want to be normal and have independence, I feel stupid not being able to do things on my own especially because I will be 25 next year.


7 years ago

Oh my God I am going through this right now! 25 just seemed to jump out of a bush and surprise me. Worst thing is that I *still* don't know what I want to do "when I grow up" :)


nini 7 years ago

i am also going to be 25 in may and i don't know what to do with myself i am single, no kids and no job i just got laid off i feel like dying sometimes


dude 7 years ago

I am turning 25 tomorrow and it is scary. Just five years ago, I was thinking I would be well established (house, nice car...) but that has yet to be become fruition. I like to imagine myself in 10 years, reviewing all my success and failures, and realize that there is still plenty to do and see in life. 25? no big deal


sannie25 7 years ago

Turning 25 in T-minus...20 minutes and thought I was cool with it until I was sitting at my night job, thinking about the fact that I needed a night job in addition to my day job to make ends meet, and needless to say the thoughts spiraled out of control from there.

I'm not freaked out about the kids and marriage thing. For me, I keep wondering when things are going to change, when will life start to have some semblance of order or a path? When will I finally move on from the life I outgrew years ago? And I tell myself there's still plenty of time, not to worry. And THEN I realize, I was saying the same thing 5 years ago.

For me, 25 is this giant sign saying LAST EXIT ON THE LEFT! No other exit for another 20 years!

Extreme? Yes. Overdramatic? Probably. But I genuinely wonder if I'll be in the same boat 10 years from now, wondering why I never got off.


ana amalia alves 7 years ago

Hey! I've just turned 25 and saw myself in your words. I hope you still come to Brazil one day, I'm sure u gonna love my country ;)

xxx


sak 7 years ago

heyy...am turning 25 tomrw....n its a mixed feeling...like looking back...i feel iv done a few things but therez so much more to do....im currently pursuing my MBA in the u.s....have a great family...and amzing frnz back home...however am still single...hvnt found "the one" which is kinda scary...coz i feel its good to be choosy but i have too many criterias before i settle down wid sm1...n a long list of things to do b4 a get married...lovely article btw..


Kris 7 years ago

I too am 25 and I feel just the same, only 10 times worse!

I feel like I'm an 80 year old man waiting to die. It's like I've lived a lifetime in my head but not even started living in real life yet and I don't know how to be young again, so it's hopeless!

On a bad day I want to break into a morgue, climb into a body bag and induce cerebral hypoxia as a means of beginning the dying process. On a good day I just want to take a running jump off a bridge or cliff or some other such high thing.


Caroline 7 years ago

Am amazed by how frequently this article's been read considering it's published 2 years ago(from the first comment). I was just randomly googling "being 25 sucks" and this was one of the first few hits.

I'm 25 going on 26 in a 4 months.... have a master's degree and currently undertaking my Chartered Accountants certification program whilst working fulltime.

Basically I don't have a life!

I constantly worry that I am wasting my youth away by strapping myself to a desk under air conditioned confinement 9 hours a day, 7 days a week (weekends are spent studying). I do feel like a living dead at times, as Kris before mentioned(but not to that extreme!) and the only thing that keeps me sane and makes me feel alive is the presence of my boyfriend of 7 years.

He's the pillar of my being, and although I know that I can't keep relying on his support I don't have the latitude of mind as well as time to work on it.

25 seemed so old and grown up when you were 18. You get increasingly disappointed of yourself as you divert further and further away from this idealised version of yourself.

Going back to commenting about the article, it was spot on! It does take a great amount of courage to sacrifice the current stability to pursue happiness though. And you're not even sure if you REALLY like it or can really make it in the industry. You might never know if you always thought that you are good in it but to others you actually suck(for example, contestants of American Idol).

There's no right or wrong at the end. The winner is who lived life the happiest. Isn't it? You never know till the very end.... Should you have taken the risk then and blow everything up but somehow have a happy ending?

or would you take the safe option and live life like a railway track laid straight ahead for you, and find joy in the simple things in life?

I don't know but all I know for sure is that being 25 truly sucks!!!


Kelsey 6 years ago

I'll be 25 in a few months and i feel like blowing my brains out with a .44

The thought of another 25 years of this bullshit makes want to have never been born at all- what a waste of existence


L.B 6 years ago

Just turned 25 less than a week ago. I woke up the next morning after my birthday and realized how far my hair lining is starting to recede lol.

Im am self employed and make way more money than I ever thought I was going to be making by this time of my life and I still don't feel proud of myself at all. But atleast I do know that I went for my dreams and i wont be regreating that when I have my real mid life crisis at 40.

I got a girlfriend who I have been with for going on seven years and I still feel like I just cant cross that line and marry her for some reason. I know I love her but I think i know that when I marry her I am I really going to know that I am at the next step of becoming old!! AHHH

I don't know what's going on but I think that its a good thing that we are all on here analyzing ourselves because that means that we care and know that we can all do better than what we are doing.

To all of you who are thinking that you are to old now "at 25" to change your life and make things better please don't make that mistake. Because when you turn 40 you will be regretting that you didn't try. DO NOT LET FEAR RUN YOUR LIFE!! You only have one life to live so give it all you can.


6 years ago

This is a very great read and I stumble upon this site because I TOO is experiencing a quarter-life crisis. I graduated from College and earned my diploma in the arts when I was 22 and unfortunately it's not what I want to do in long term. After graduating I worked in retail for almost 2 years and I had to quit simply because it was making me succumb to a very awful depression. I couldn't stop thinking of what I really want to do in life. In public I'm loud, obnoxious, care free, mimicking a person that loves life but when I'm alone I become this vulnerable, over dramatic cry baby, who just can't help but feel sorry for herself. I'm thinking of going back to college into something completely out of my field, not because I'm passionate about it, it's because I feel it's a "safety net" and will reassure me a "job". It makes me feel a bit lighter knowing I am not the only one going through with this. It is an intense feeling when we don't know what we SHOULD do in our future. Still soul-searching.


nevermind 6 years ago

im turning 25 in 3 months and i gotta tell you...im in a serious psychological shit since few months...

so many things that u mentioned feel the same. my job pays well, but im starting to hate it with passion...

i love my girlfriend, but do i want to live with her...

where did the fun go? is it gone forever?

messy feelings and thoughts... i even think this is the main reason for my sleep disorder (apart from my fuckin job). it's like i cannot go to bed before 5am and i cannot wake up before 3pm...


erinn 6 years ago

Turning 25 TOMORROW!!! I feel SO much better i'm not alone on feeling these things! Wow I thought I was crazy!!!


froggurl 6 years ago

I'm 24, turning 25 this year. I realize this is an old article, but it's spot-on. I am experiencing all the same things you all are. I have many friends who've turned 30 within the last year who are rather unsympathetic when I mention this. They take a rather "oh, boo-hoo" attitude, as 30 apparently's worse.

I am in the midst of figuring out what to do with my life, and I can't talk about the career thing without crying. Seriously, it's embarrassing. I feel like I've fallen far short of what I'd hope to be by this age. I have a degree it took me 5.5 years to get, I don't have a career, am back in school at my local JC, working part time, still live at home, and don't even have a driver's license! By most accounts, I could be labelled as "a loser".

I would say, though, that as painful as this crisis is for all of us, it's not necessarily a bad thing. We can see this crisis as the time to motivate ourselves to have the lives we DO want, instead of 5, 10, 15 years from now looking back and going through the same thing all over again. For example, Ive made big strides in the last year (when all this aaaah-life-is-so-short! business started). I've learned to ride a bike (it's a bigger deal than you'd think), am in a great relationship (my first one, too), have finally found my calling, and am motivated to do well in school (which I wasn't before, hence 5.5 years to get a lousy Bachelor's).

As for the marriage thing, 25 is quite young, and 25 today is not what 25 was for our parent's generation. We're all still trying to figure out who we are; best to save finding a life partner for when you have a better idea of who you are. It's a big decision, and happiness can be found when you're free as a bird or in a great relationship. Happily single is far better than being in a miserable relationship.

Look at the earlier comment by the person with the neurogical disorder. Most of us are blessed that what we're going through is nothing more than a normal life-crisis. There are people throughout the world who would love to have the luxury of this being the worst of their problems.

I'm doing my best to see this crisis as a time for renewal and change. Easier said than done, as I still freak out about it, but I'm getting there. And when we're older, hopefully we'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

Best Wishes to you all!


Michel 6 years ago

im turning 25 in less than 2 months! before i searched google for 25 years old, i was goin crazy the last few weeks, thinking about wtf am i going to do in next 5 years? there is so much i need to do, and i have no answer, lots of thoughts, nothing like early 20's, but i still feel this where you become a man still young but more mature then 18-24. glad im not alone! best wishes to everyone!


kelly 6 years ago

I find great releif in knowing that I'm not the only one freaking out at this point in my life. I'm turning 25 in a few weeks. I am a young mom and thought that it was being a mom that pushed me to feeling this way about my age but I'm actually surprised that others who are not parents yet have some form of discomfort. I'd always looked at other ladies as 25, no baby, own apartment and felt really depresed.

One of the messed up things is that my boyfriend and father of my child is only a year older than I am and it seems things are going really slow for him career wise, This has caused me to be hands on in terms of providing for our son. I panic sometimes and wonder for how long I will be the only one who's financially stable.


nenshiek 6 years ago

i will be 25 few weeks from now. Im so relieved to find this blog. Knowing that Im not alone with all these ideas and issues im dealing. I thought gee, im having schizophrenic episodes but now i realize its just us getting smarter. We learned from others experiences and as early as now we want to do the things we are passionate about so somday we will not regret anything. We aim a life well lived as early as 25.


Viola 6 years ago

Thank God i'm not the only one having a 'quarter life crisis'. I'm 25 years old and will be turning 26 in the next few short months and realising how short life really is.

I have an ok~ish job but no real career, single and house sharing. NOTHING how i pictured my life to be only afew short years ago.

Thinking of going back to university to study something which will guranntee me a career (looking at nursing) before i hit 30. The whole lack of a career thing is what's bothering me more than anything else at the moment.

I'd like a relationship of some sort but giving up the ghost slowly. Thankfully all my other mates are single too, so theres no worries of attending weddings,etc just yet.

Like the person above, i have the same sleeping disorder too which has made an appearance pretty much since i hit 25. I put it purely down to worrying/obessing about my age and what i haven't achieved.

I still feel like i'm figuring myself out in some departments. I talk about my age alot at work (can't help it, it seems to always be at the forefront of my mind) and i think its become abit of a joke with my older colleagues....Who tell me to stop worrying and get on with life :-P.

Wish i could wind the clock back about four years to when i was 21 and undo some of the highly crictal mistakes i made. Trying to make up for it now but its gonna take at least another 5/6 years.

Makes me wonder what i am gonna be like when i do reach middle age and have my mid-life crisis...:-P.


dave 6 years ago

I am 21 and will be 22 in 3 months. All the thoughts running in your head are my issues too. But afterall, we are not going to be out of that boundary set for us. The best thing is to be healthy, do the right things and most importantly do not commit any crime so that you won" take off some more years from your life and spend them in prison!!


Moochi 6 years ago

OMG! Shut up, 25 is YOUNG! Im 24 and I'll be 25 next year there are things I w ish I could of accomplished but 25 is still young, I would say look for marriage after 25 and a house after 25, its still very young. You have 5 years till 30! There are 30 year olds who hav'nt accomplished anything still. Count your blessings and live life to the fullest, live it your age and not be so stressing and depressing. That is too young to be this sad, you are still energetic at this age. Your still even a kid compared to a 40+ year old.


ddgandra 6 years ago

ah so i see almost everyone goes through this. look, i'm feeling similar things but i'd have to agree with moochi above me. WE are SO YOUNG! i turned 25 in december, got my b.a. last summer, and since then..i've been struggling with a start-up business. it's been very hell-ish at times, but you have to try and not look at the difficult, negative side of things. or this period of your life WILL pass you by. if you keep stressing out about it, you will be going through the same shit when you're 40 or 50.

i read almost all these postings and the positive ones really hit me. while everyone, most of my friends, and myself at times complain about this 25 year mark, i find myself thinking this is quite ridiculous. yes almost everyone goes through this. so then doesn't that tell you something??? it's normal and just find those things that you enjoy and excel at them.

i graduated with a business background but i feel that i am more artistic. so i'm taking my business background and combining it with my artistic talents. sometimes i feel like i wasted 6 years with that degree - yes 6 yrs. it took me to get a degree. but it's done. i DO have a degree from a university. i'm lucky! i'm not being idealistic, just trying to change the ways we all look at things. once you start focusing on your talents - you will feel a lot better.

we all must cherish this time we are living, it won't come again. my mom always reminds me to dress my best, look good, and have a good time because she married and had kids when she was my age and let go of that fashionable side to her. so i listen to her. and i keep reminding myself. and i set a goal for myself and stick to it. what else do i have to lose?


Kitana 6 years ago

I'll be 25 in 2 months, my mom died 7 months ago, a sudden death, im going through a crisis.. recently had my blood pressure 170/110, life is just complicated sometimes :( Now i gotta take hypertension pills, and things are just going wrong for me ... I pray i get better.


yvie 6 years ago

i realized today that in 3 weeks i am turning 25, i always knew it was going to happen but the thought of it being so close really made me panic. there is a lot in my life i am so lucky to have, i have had my share of ups and downs but who hasn't? but i think back to when i was 18 wondering who i would be when i was 25 assuming in those years everything would just fall into place job, house, husband, kids, adulthood... (i blame movies and tv for a lot of this by the way!!!) things don't just fall into place.

i'm not exactly who i wanted myself to be at 25 so i think thats what i am going to do on my 25th year on this earth, i am going to become who i wanted to be. this is my life even though i am nervous at the thought of it SCREW IT! life is short and there is so much bad stuff in the world i am lucky to be here i don't want to waste whatever time i have left. i am going to write a list of things i wanna do and who i wanna become this year and aim to have the list completed by this time next year.

we're here for a good time not for a long time, i have wasted enough time, so its now time to make it count!!! see you all in 5 years for another milestone crisis!!


Beryl 6 years ago

Turning 25 tomorrow and this article has spoken my thoughts. Its really scary but i think is a good age to know yourself better and still have fun before settling down.

So sorry for nichole, hope you are feeling better now.


Miss_H 6 years ago

I am 25 and I feel so bad, I am done with my BA, MA, and I am starting my PhD in two monthes in London but I am single, have no kids, and I am not in a steady relationship. I feel awful, I am feel I am about to be 30 and I am running out of time!

Thanks for the article, though....


Tiffany 6 years ago

I'm turning 25 at the end of the month...my life hasn't been typical. I got married at 19, separated at 24, I have a kid and I still don't have my degree. It's so weird, I thought my life would be way different than this but I guess you just roll with the punches. I'm going to school online and taking a trip to west Africa in August. So I guess you've just gotta follow your own unique path, even if the people around you don't understand or appreciate it.


Abraham 6 years ago

I turn 25 in a month, and one very important lesson that I am in the process of learning is that true success and fulfillment in this life has nothing to do with receiving approval from others. That means, you are not responsible for obtaining approval from any external person: your parents, your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, your friends, your professor, etc. Because at that point, you are not living life based on what YOU want, but based on what OTHERS want from you.

I feel the most important thing I have done is daily taking time out to have compassion for my struggles. To learn not to be "my own worst enemy", to befriend myself. This is a process and there are rough days, but I'm getting there.

Throughout my life, I have been VERY hard on myself - I expected perfection 100% of the time, and if I did not meet this rigid requirement, I would feel that I was a "failure." In other words, I have personal problems that exist within myself, and I MYSELF have to resolve them, no-one else. This will take time, but I am getting better, and my path in life is becoming a little more clear. People have a tendency to look outward to resolve problems that exist within the heart, whether it be through a spouse, or from a drug, or from food, etc, when this is all a distraction, it must be done from within the self.

I feel that the goal of the game we call life is to work on yourself, to come to an understanding of who you TRULY are, not who you're parents, or universities or friends "shape" or want you to be. If you don't know who you really are, dedicate some alone time for yourself to think and reflect upon your own thoughts. Record each thought that passes through your head, then mark down whether these thoughts come from the real self, or from the manufactured self. Take your time with this. If you have to 'question' a thought or concept from within you, then it's not coming from the real you.

Eventually you may find it easier to rise above the "mindless chatter" that most of us suffer from in order to gain a clear understanding of who/what you really are.

Again, please don't compare your life to others. There are many other 25-year olds (and older) that appear to have a family, a successful career, lots of money and friends, but it does not necessarily mean that they are fulfilled. There is no barometer of fulfillment in life, it is not a competition, nor should it be. Each one of you out there is like a snowflake, unique to all others, therefore your path and purpose in this life is also unique to all others. Therefore, comparing any aspect of yourself to others is a precious waste of energy, use it towards something more beneficial.

I wish all of you the best. You can do it.


Dreamon 6 years ago

I turned 25 last month, and I'm still wondering what I'm gonna do with my life. I got my B.A last year but I can't find work in that field, therefore I hold a dead-end job that only requires a high school diploma.. I thought about getting a Masters but my GPA isn't good enough, damn! But on a brighter note, it reassures me to see that I'm far from being the only 25 y.o still not knowing what to do in the future. Oh well, gotta find that plan B..!


JY 6 years ago

Yes, the worst part is I compare myself to big huge stars like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, both of who are around my age. Gaga especially makes me feel like crap because I wish I'd figured out my passion earlier and hustled harder sooner like her.


6 years ago

So the thing is, only God can judge you. Don't let social norms dictate the standards of what is "good enough."

We all have responsibilities to ourselves and our families. We have personal and professional struggles. It's the human condition.

Some of the greatest people on earth may never be in human history books, but have impacted widespread change in their communities or through their interactions with others. God's definition of greatness is hard for the human mind to grasp. It's not the world's way of prioritizing things, but it lasts forever and does not leave you with a temporary high. God's acceptance fills the void of constant craving for approval, resolution, and peace in the chaos and confusion of life, especially mid-20s life! I know this because I am 24 and will be 25 in 4 months. God has tested me and I have often forgotten about him, then realized He was always there had I just reached out- he used my mistakes for His purpose and showed me how to trust and love without relying on external validation. He frees me from constant anxiety over this ever-changing world in which I am one of 6 billion humans involved in some form of the same experience.

It really is never too late to (insert thing here) as long as you are on the earth. Don't worry so much about whether you are "good enough" in the eyes of others, but in God's eyes, which see all things down to the neutrons and protons, the water cycle and the light that refracts through the human eye.

You are His child, so he wants you here. God chose your parents, no matter how difficult your family life may have been, for His purposes. He chose your nationality and race and ethnicity and gender and gave you the internal resources, and support, to function in this racist, sexist, economically inequal world. He gave us free will and we continue to deny the divinity within all of us, but God never gives up on us. He never gives up on you. Ever. Not at 5, 25, 45, 65, 75, 85. Never. You're never alone.

and he wants you to be you- he made you. If you want to know the reason for something, ask the Creator. Call him Allah or Yahweh or Hey You or the Goddess or Christ (I personally accept Christ's sacrifice nailing away all my obessions with external approval, all my insecurities, all my lies to myself and others to save face, all my ego-centric plans and schemes and actions during which I never once asked God what His will was). Talk about a patient God!

Get free of one-upmanship and conformity. Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. Be honest and real with yourself and your loved ones. Be who you're supposed to be; God made you with all the resources inside of you to weather the storms and traumas of your life, no matter how hopeless or meaningless or overwhelming or indifferent or empty it may feel right now.

The past is past and cannot rule you unless you let it. The present is here and you are here for a reason. God does not operate by this world's standards; he is already working through you in ways you may not yet understand. It is a cold and violent world but through honesty, courage and love life becomes workwhile.

Whether you are between jobs, in transition, facing difficulties, married or single or gay or straight or agnostic or some religion or whatever, you are and will always be God's child, and you are not alone in your struggle for meaning and purpose in this life. I, too, struggle with this, and the hardest thing is discerning what I want and saying God's will be done- when so many voices are telling me, directly and indirectly, what they want or expect or think is best for me. Let me hear God's voice inside me. I can't hear it unless I listen and search my soul and my gut and shed all the fake crap and worthless priorities of our consumerist world.

I happen to be a Harvard grad student about to finish my master's program and then plan to do the PhD thing because it fits my life, but that's not gonna fit everyone or be possible for every one either. And I'm scared I won't get in or get a job and all that.

I'm not sure what God has for me, but I know he put me here for a reason, just like he put you- whether you're a CEO or a janitor or farmer or academic- on this earth for a reason. Do not let your heart be troubled. Do justice, love kindness, in all you do whether it's temping, bartending, grad school, hair styling, consulting, you get the idea.

find peace- no matter how put-together or messed up your life may seem to you at 25 or whatever your age, nothing is impossible with God. Nothing.

He has plans to prosper and not harm you- ask Him, search for Him, see Him in everyone you pass on the street. Be like a child again, who you're supposed to be, your own person, that inner child with wisdom that transcends the mental shackles of social expectations, transcends the inferiority complex, and other such lies.

We are all children of God and he will never give up on us. So praise him for 25 blessed years, no matter how painful. Ask Him for counsel and reach out to your support network. He has plans to prosper and not harm us, plans to give us true life beyond our earthly comprehension. Love is painful and takes work but it makes living worthwhile, without love is hell and with love there is always hope, the process of unifying as both diverse individuals and one nation of God's children. One day we'll reach the promised land and pockets of heaven already surround us- let's take time to see them and give thanks. Let's take time to create pockets of realness when fake is trendy. Let's take time to take care of ourselves, to question the pressures the persuade us that life is about status, wealth, temporary highs, or even "helping people"; every person has need of you and vice versa, that's the beauty of the human condition, that's the goal of life to come together as one, don't forget John Lennon or Bob Marley or JFK or MLK or Gandhi or the foremothers who fought to keep the human soul alive.

God is the Love in us and the Truth undeniable regardless of religious labels or man-made hierarchies. God loves you; don't let anyone else tell you who are or what you're worth. You are precious and even at 25, you are still His child, yout life is not done. You are not alone, and you don't have to worry about dying, focus on living in the Truth you have inside you, resist distractions from those insights deep inside planted in you back when God designed you before your birth.

You are here to be you. You will always be His child, and your life- my life, our lives- are in His hands.


Madi 6 years ago

Well i'm 20 and i sort of feel the same. Wasted a lot of my time only to realize now that i should've used it for my benefit while i had it. No fretting upon it now I'll just try to do the best i can to get to where i want to be in say the next 10 years.

All i wanna say to everyone is that we should just focus on the positives, and focus on the time that WE HAVE RIGHT NOW, and if we haven't achieved things that we wanted to by this time, well START NOW..cause " THE BEST TIME TO PLANT A TREE WAS 20 YEARS AGO, THE SECOND BEST TIME IS NOW " as they say..

So set a goal as to where you want to be when you turn 30 (a realistic one!) and do everything in your power to get there.. Don't waste away you life with regret.. Live it the way you want to. Live every day like your last. You still have time!

Best of luck to everyone :)


jimbobway 6 years ago

i turn 25 in 5 months and have been a little worried because i didn't have the greatest child hood, was in trouble a good portion of my teenage years. the only years i can recall i was truly happy was 18-21. because i was in the army and had some great friends. since then its just been up and down and i really want to turn things around so i can enjoy the rest of my 20s. i think im on a good path but i feel like im on a slippery slope and im really nervous about having to start over again. a couple more slip ups and i will have spent my 20s just trying to figure out how i needed to get my life so i could enjoy it like i want. glad im not the only one. but i hope you all get what you're looking for. figures crossed!


True 6 years ago

Well i just turned 23 years old 2 weeks ago and i aint going to lie i feel real old already i wish i could do something to feel young because if i feel old at 23 then what im i gonna feel when im 30 i think it sucks seeing all this 18 years olds with no worrys i wish i could go back


Nicole 101010 6 years ago

2 days to go for me until the big 2....5. All that has been going through my head for the last 2 weeks is "THAT IS A QUARTER OF A CENTURY!!!!"

It seems that all my life is falling into place - a wonderful man of 8 years, a mortgage, great job, nearly finished my masters, great family....what more could I ask for? yet I feel empty, lost and confused.

One thing that continues to surprise me is that everyone expects you to have it together inside if it looks that way from the outside. It is dangerous to assume that people that seem to have it all figured out are happy inside, chances are they are questioning the same things as you. It seems that the grass is always greener on the otherside.


Katie 6 years ago

It is so great to know that there are others who feel the same as I do! I'm now 27 years old, and there's a few things I want to do with my life. My situation is that I was married at the very young age of 19. My sister got married about a month later. 5 years into our marriage, my husband and I got a divorce. We have 3 kids together. My sister is still happily married with kids and sometimes I think I resent her for that.

But I have been doing what you're doing, and that is trying to analyze my life and figure things out. You're lucky you got where you want to be. Congrats and good luck with everything!


katie 6 years ago

Im turning 25 in 2 days and was down for weeks before reading this. thanks a lot i really needed to hear that im not just getting older but theres so much to look forward to and its not a bad as it may seem.


Morgaine 6 years ago

Okay. Reading this scared the holy effing shit out of me, because its almost to a T describing me. Thank you SO much for this post. I thought i was all alone in this, and crazy. Wow.. Freaked out still.


andresisonline 6 years ago

Im so lost, just after getting 25 i break with the girl i still love and regret it cause i was so confused. I hate my job and i feel so bored now , i need to find my way again. Im to scared of making a bad decition again.

Good Luck to all


bmh 5 years ago

Employed or unemployed.

Married or single.

Rich or poor.

Famous or a nobody.

A "success" or a "failure".

15, 25, or 50.

It doesn't matter. You still have to choose whether you want to be happy or sad.

Examples: Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, Owen Wilson

No amount of money, "success", love, or fame will make you happy. At any age and in any circumstance, happiness is a choice.


girlie 5 years ago

Funny i was exited about 25..26...then C.R.I.S.I.S NOW at 27!!!no kids, married, trynna finish up college. i feel ancient for some reason, and i know i am young, but i feel like i have just run out of time!just paranoid basically! but after reading this i actually feel better! thanks for posting this up!:)


Dan 5 years ago

Turned 25 today. I didn’t realise the value of youth until my 22nd. Than I resented turning 23 and 24. Youth will always be wasted on the young. At 25 with an M.A. in Economics and currently studying to possibly become teachers, I feel de-motivated. lol nothing outside of the hemisphere of youth interests me that much; growing old, pushing 2.5 quad horsepower lawn mower on a Saturday morning along the picketed fence painted white, marriage feels like it will be monotonous compared to the passion of being young and dating/falling in love, and a 9-5 job for life doesn’t dazzle me.

I'll miss the fashion, friends, late night epic adventures, culture, and university campus the most.

but growing old isn’t a democracy, and I see ageing now as making the best of a bad situation.


kaniz 5 years ago

Ah! I turned 25 a year ago! It sucks and I am glad someone feels the same as I do.


Tasha 5 years ago

To the person who wrote this post thank you so much I am 25 and i have been full of nothing but panic and fear about my future i also feel so compatable with the points made in the post it makes me feel so happy and relaxed to know im not alone and alot of people my age think and feel the same as i do its been so confussing because most of my friebds have had kids and are or are getting married i feel like the odd one out but i know deep in my heart im buily gor bigger things before i do all that stuff i have been with my b f 7yrs and we still aint had any kids so im takin that as a sign to focus and follow my dreams first the best i can . Because ive been so worried my anxiety and fear levels have increased its been horrible getting more panic attacks i dunno o its like i dunno how to feel 25 because im mature headed and it can be frusttating at timesbecause i feel im missing out on my 20's i guess when your an only child of a singke parent family you absorb mannerisms

Of sumone older . But now ive seen this im goin to try and listen to my heart more and make 2011more about me and what i want not what everyone else wants me to be . Again

thank you xx Tasha xx :)


Jearie 5 years ago

wow! I am 24, and just quit my job! I wonder if I'll ever find my path...I'l be returning to my previous happy company and teammates next week :D but I'll try to gain more skills so I'll have more options... I've also been thinking a lot of what I'll be and what I want in the next years... i've invested in a houselot when I was still 22 and currently taking my graduate studies... since I don't know where to go.. I've been asked many times why I am in such a hurry and should enjoy life... I think I am enjoying life.. but still worried what if I never get to my dreams or my dream is incompatible to me?? anyway, good to read that it's normal to feel this way! I've set my goal this year to go at least one out of the country!!! =)) 'will save for my 26th european tour hahaha... marriage is still not in my mind.. don't feel getting a boyfriend right now.. hopefully a friend will come and make having a family part of my priority when i am wiser :D yes I am 24! hello to quarterly life crisis :)


Andre 5 years ago

I'm from Brazil! Come here and get a free monkey! We build favelas in the woods.. It is carnival and guiltyless sex every day!


Luna 5 years ago

This has made my day, I am so gland I am not the only one. :)


The golden hind 5 years ago

Im turning 18 and I feel like this... :( all I can say is that im gonna knock myself out on moonshine come saturday. One last hoo rah before im part of this workforce looking for financial aid for college. I have a kickass rock band but even if we are that good (i believe so) can we make it? Will I be happy if im not doing that? Getting money is good stress reliever but the process of getting it is breaking my soul. I love to be awkward and free but the world wasn.t made that way I guess. Possible option: move to colorado and live off the fatta the lan. If u know that reference I salute you. Stay strong people.


unknown 5 years ago

Miss H, I had to laugh at your comment.

You are 25, single, no kids and you are just starting your phd?? hmmm, now tell me what is so horrible about that?

Would you rather be 25 and have 4 kids, work at mc donalds and be with a guy who beats you? just sayin...

You make it sound so morbid when the truth is you have everything going for you...


Dina 5 years ago

I am amazed at all these negative comments. I am 24 and I really don't think it is old. I see the entire 20s as that post-adolescent phase before adulthood. Even 29.

To me, 30 is the age you start getting settled in your career and possibly your apartment or house, finding the right person for you, thinking about a family, etc. Not 25.

I am also amazed to hear people talk about their "lousy bachelors" or the "five years wasted" on their undergrad degree. I loved every moment of college and I am extremely proud of my bachelors degree! And I was an English major, one of the most useless majors according to most people, so I could easily be sitting here moping about how I have a useless degree and the job market is horrible. But I love it.

I don't have a great paying job. But I am able to teach and help people. I'm teaching English in Eastern Europe (i'm originally from the US). So I get to travel. I get to extend my adolescence (no mortgage for me!). And I live very comfortably on what I make, enough to travel to other countries on break, because I am not interested in "keeping up appearances" like the other posters here.

That is an opportunity I have that I am grateful for and it's all because of my degree...The same degree other people here are calling "lousy and useless" Hmmmmm.. It really all depends on your outlook, doesn't it?

And how can I possibly see myself as old when I'm traveling and I'm learning new things every day?

Your "crisis" has nothing to do with being 25. Look at what this is really about...It's all about keeping up with the Jonses...This is a crisis of wanting to have it all. Individualism at its finest. If you don't learn from this, you will have more crises at 30, 40, 50, etc.

I am extremely excited to turn 25 next week. And even more excited to be 30!


Tania 5 years ago

Im turning 25 years old in 2 months and feel like my life is either falling into place or falling out of place. I have a great paying job, a healthy son, a loving boyfriend, whom we will be getting engaged this year and now decided to deactivated my facebook, my twitter and I feel that friends that were friends are not friends anymore.

I have realized that people change and then only think about themselves. I may sound depressed about the turning 25 but I have learn allot in the years (after 20). I have people whom only invite you to their parties and when ever you invite them to your parties, they never have money... excuses. Even when I told about the good things happening in my life then they don't have a comment but if I mention the bad things in life, then they care?

I have decided to live the next couple of years with my partner and son. Forget about fake people and social networking. I think that when I get to 30 then I hopefully have ment the right friends and people.


nick 5 years ago

God bless you and the people who commented ande completed the article.You made my day.


NJ 5 years ago

I actually typed into google 'I feel old at 25'- and this came up. I have to say your post expresses exacty how I feel and how I have started to look at my life since recently turning 25. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to do a lot; college, travel, persue music, & try out several jobs. My degree is in english, and right now I work as an actor (I'm in screen actors guild, & AFTRA, don't have another job besides freelancing, and am living a lot of people's dreams), I'm finding that something is missing; while acting is fun, it is not fullfilling. I've invested time and money & live in LA, but eventually want to live somewhere in the country and have a rewarding job where I actually "do" something. Looking at my life-a lot of people expected me to go this route, and it seems I have the perfect job and boyfriend here. But if it's not my end goal, why should I keep pursueing/investing in this? I took a step a few months ago and applied to go back to school for biology. This probably makes me the first person to use money & my job acting to pursue school, opposed to having a "normal" job in order to pursue acting. Science has been something that I have loved very much since a young age, but it always got pushed aside with people singing my praises for dance & music. I never really figured out in college that I should have gone with my gut; I changed majors several times before becoming involved with the English department. Acting, music, and dance will always be a part of my life as interests, but I feel strongly-espeically since turning 25-not to let something that can be a rewarding career to me pass by. (does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?) Good luck to everyone in figuring out your dreams! Things do change as you become older.


mafia25 5 years ago

so glad other people feel exactly the same, I've just got to figure out what to do with my life and find the heaps of confidence i need to try and achieve the things i dream of, I think i'm lost at the moment.


Kiaburd 5 years ago

Life isn't about age! It seams most of us are posting from a westernized view point! We are taught that career, school, marriage, and making money, are all things to strive for in life. Then when some of us turn 25 and we don't have those things, we begin to question our placement asking, "what are we doing with our lives, Why are we not... living up to all the standards placed on us by external influences"? But I think there are far more important aspects of living than getting married, having children, and status. It's all relative, some people in a less wealthy, or carefree existence would be blessed to have half the "problems" we speak about on this blog post!!! I have definitely worried about my age! I am 25 and only half way through a bachelors degree, (some how that bothers me) But it doesn't really matter what we do it probably more how we do it! There are always, always more perspectives to tap into! There is a lot of magic here on this plain. Just be playful and open with people! Seriously, no one is ever too old to play!!!


DanceWithChaos 5 years ago

I will turn 25- a few hours from now and I'm having this dreadful feeling.. I'm not excited about it, rather fearful that the next 5 years is a make or break for me!

5 years ago I have pictured myself as rich and successful but at 24.99 I'm still far away from that goal!

I think 25 is the age where you get serious with your career path or goals in life. No holding back: figure out what you really want to do and stick with it. Don't be worried if you think you have wasted the first 5 years in your 20's. Early twenties is all about trial and error.

25 is too young of an age to assess whether or not you have made a good run of this life. By the time you're 30, you'll be laughing at your 25 year old self for thinking you're too old.. Just enjoy this moment--I have heard somewhere that 25 is when you'll look your best, so that's something to be excited about:P


lily 5 years ago

At 25 i was married and settled with my second child on the way and i am just as happy as i was back then, i have the health and love of my kids and hubbie a wonderful life, believe me when your in your thirties you'll look back to when you were 25 and you'll think what the hell was i worrying about. Life is too short don't waste your time about such trivial stuff enjoy your self other wise you'll look back and regret wasting your time over such a small mattter


sam 5 years ago

Believe me its all down hill once you hit 25-you will notice the first of fine lines around your eyes, your skin wont look so great as it did in your early twenties.Your metabolism slows down so no late night kebabs and snacks, which leads to the fact that you have to push your self that extra hard at the gym.Your biological clock begins to tick, you notice your mates are chatting about settling down, and suddenly your worried as your age begins to creeps towards the dreaded 30! And now your also worried about your career-or lack of career,one night shags are now a no no but good men suddenly seem scarce. Life is such a bitch and so is mother nature-its sooooo unfair most men as they age they become better looking but women its all down hill. Well i don't have to worry as yet im still a nubile 18.


msmith8 5 years ago

I'm 26 and I went through the same things. I found that with the present area it is difficult to focus on all the things that one wants to do in life, but it help to have a few things that define us. For me it was traveling and academics. Up until that point I loved traveling to Europe, Africa, and anywhere else, and teaching. These 2 aspects of my life and working toward them as a business professional and educator working towards my PhD/JD have brought me much happiness. Seeing the world is amazing and returning to my cabin in the woods on Ely Lake from the long weeks in the Twin Cities is how I'd always wanted to live. Its a long road but with the status of the current employment/economic situation I feel like I'll be trying to get my feet planted firmly until I'm at least 35.


Jackie 5 years ago

If anything, turning 25 has really, really spurred my butt into high gear more than nothing else has before. I've always been really ambitious but unfocused, but now I realize it's truly now-or-never. These are the twilight years of my youth. I've been earnestly searching for my passion for the past 3 years, and I wholly agree with your thought that it is at 25 when you realize what you truly care about. The degree you worked towards half-heartedly thinking that it's what you want to do for the rest of your life... is put into sharp focus against the backdrop of your future. It's not make belief anymore.

What doesn't help further is how I see aging as a degradation. If you aren't wildly successful in your 30's then I consider you a failure and a loser. If you're not out there pounding the pavement with everything you've got, I have no respect for you. Harsh, but I carry this attitude with me everyday. It's what fuels me to work that much harder to achieve great success.


Clarice Galleros 5 years ago

hey im 25...(may 3)..let's see what will happen to me...hopefully not the same as what happened to your relationship..(sorry)..but im engaged and were planning to get married..oh well...25 HERE I COME!!!


jigili 5 years ago

I was so glad to find this blog today! i'm turning 25 next week and I'm really down. Just finished my Bachelor degree in Medical Physics, but can't do anything with this degree unless i get my Masters. But i'm too tired of studding right now, want to get a job and make some money. If I have any plan in mind for the future, that would be buying my own condominium by the age 30! but how can i do that with no job! ... so much pressure. My dad doesn't talk to me, cuz i told him i don't want to get my Masters. There is just too much pressure! I miss my 21st birthday. Life was so easy, so stress free...


peter 5 years ago

Hey! Im 25. Love it. I think I just got out of the Quarter-life crisis. Going to Italy backpacking this summer.


Liz 5 years ago

Im so happy i found this! i turned 25 a few months ago.. i too jus like every other 25 year old am suffering a Quarter Life Crisis myself!the past few days, questions have been pilling up in my head more so than before questions about how i been living my life, i jus happened to give myself a drastic make over! i dyed my hair and cut it. i started goin to church more than usual and i used to think it was so borring, as if im a little bit lost and need to find my true identity! even when im at the store Ive been more interested in the newest kitchen knifes or the latest coffe machines for my apartment!when never in my life have i had interest in those things! i been wondering more about the people that i let into my life, ive been very selective on whom i call my true friends and had an urge to reconnect with old friend to find my old self..as if i been so busy being in a hurry to be older that i forgot how to be young..older people always say Oh Please your still young! but in a way if Feel too young to be old and too old to Act young!!! Im Glad im not the only one! i guess its a part of life..i hope i don't feel this goes away!


lianne 5 years ago

thanxxx for this article! im sitting here feeling depressed and im gonna be 24yrs old on sunday and im just glad im not the only person who feels this way. I just don't kno where all that time went i already feel like my time is running out. I got married just last year and it seems everyone keeps throwing it in my face how they have children and i don't. i feel i have nothing in common with my friends anymore i don't even like to be around anyone accept for my husband because i feel he is the only other person that knows what im talking about.


Liliana 5 years ago

I love it


sadman 5 years ago

damn the guy that wrote this is 28 years old know must me sad im turning 24 2morra n i feel real old


cat 5 years ago

Hi all...im turning 25 december and i feel old...but then again i felt old at 20! i think weve all got to stop being silly...we are so young still...we should be enjoying our 20s! my mum goes mad at me when i say i feel old! Lol xxx


paul 5 years ago

I'll be turning 25 on dec 21 and I must say I am also very worried. I am unemployed and single with no college degree, basically I'm screwed, lol. I really feel the urge to go back to school and make something of myself by the time I hit 30.


M.A 5 years ago

I'm turning 25 in five days time. I'm single, a full time student, have a mass of ever growing dental bills and I've been struggling with a BA at uni, which I hate.

And I've recently made the decision to transfer into a BM this year despite only having 1 year left for my BA.

My five settled sisters and my brother think I'm a useless "Gunna" (Gunna do this, gunna do that...but never does.) My parents bemoan the fact that I start things and never finish them, and that I've never had a steady boyfriend/husband like my sisters.

It's just in the past few months I've finally decided what I want to do, and in the past few days I've connected with like-minded people to start the project I have in mind.

It didn't really hit me hard the idea of turning 25 until my mother started to question why I'm still renting and don't own a house. Why I haven't brought a boyfriend home to meet them, (because you wouldn't like the one-nighters and rebound guys [who cry on my shoulder about their exes,] whom I inevitably attract, Mother.)

And I started to get mad. Not at my family who were either straight up ignoring me or trying to tell me what I should be doing, but I was mad at myself for letting them do it.

I threw down the gauntlet, I said this is who I am. So what if seven years ago I thought I'd be a published novelist and a famous script writer, not to mention at least in a comitted relationship?

Those seven years happened inbetween for a reason, and I now need the next five years before I'm thirty to work out why they happened and what I learned from them.

I'm not wallowing in what other people think of me, I'm still young and, rather than do what others want, turning twenty-five makes me feel like *I* can finally decide what I want, how I'm going to get it and stuff everyone else.

I'm going on a ten day silent meditation retreat in early December. I'm writing, drawing and spending time with my dog. I'm buying outragously fun things for my nephews and nieces that their parents would never buy for them. I'm planning a trip to Prague by way of Florence, Verona, Venice, Berlin and Vienna.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel turning twenty-five isn't a crisis, it's a launching point. I finally feel like I'm in control of my life and don't have to bend for others.

Symbolically speaking, those five days can't come quick enough for me, bring on being a quarter of a century.


manas 5 years ago

hey all 25 turned folks , let visit goa and have a blast in goa . sunburn festival 2011


phillyguy 4 years ago

turning 24 next month, still living at home.I have no bank account, no job, no girlfriend and have just a high school diploma. I kinda of isolated myself against the world the last couple years going down the wrong path.I feel hopeful, i am just happy i am not alone


Mr Scythe 4 years ago

I turned 25 4 months ago. I've done NOTHING with my life so far, and I feel like I never will now. It's weird, I don't feel particularly old, but I have a relative who always mentions that I'm creeping upto 30, and it does make you think, doesn't it?


Carrero 4 years ago

When i turned 25 I recall taking a good hard look at myself and realizing that there was a lot I didn't like: my metabolism had slowed down and I'd gained about 10-15 lbs, the girl I thought I was going to marry had begun seeing someone else, I was beginning to feel that I'd "settled" for a less-than-stellar career, and making respectable, honorable choices wasn't high on my priority list. I'm thirty now and the last 5 years have taught me a lot. Allow me to share the three most lessons with you. Firstly, you're twenties exist to, and really should be invested in, setting you up for your thirties and beyond. Now is when you suck it up and finish school, learn to enjoy a variety of foods, experience crazy adventures and take crazy risks, get your heart broken (a lot), develop a taste for wine, music, and culture, dedicate a night just to yourself and figure out what you REALLY like and what REALLY makes you laugh, do some charitable work and see if it affects you on a human/emotional level, become aware of just how naïve/proud you truly are, learn to show genuine gratitude, and (VERY IMPORTANT) learn how to create long-lasting, deeply committed friendships. After all, how will you ever find out what makes you unique if all you ever do is the same thing everyone else does/has done??? Also, develop the skills now that will benefit you for a lifetime. For example, develop study habits now so that you can succeed in going back to school later in life should you decide to. Too many students (myself included) focus too much on grades and forget that they are PAYING for an education that employers expect them to have retained! Secondly, don't pursue school/work to the detriment of other areas of your life. A wise friend once told me to continue focusing linearly, but to remember to grow spherically at the same time. As with most things in life, there's nothing truly as depressing as getting exactly what you want; the true joy is in the journey. Listen carefully: nobody is ever happy once they reach their "desitination" because the first thing they do upon arrival is to just set another destination! Don't believe me? Here's your life in a nutshell: graduate college, get a job, meet someone, get married, buy a starter home, get promoted, start a family, buy a bigger home, get your kids out of the house, retire, die. Ever wonder why movie stars are strung out on drugs and why Harvard business grads and trust-fund babies decide to commit suicide? They have achieved, or played out the end-game, on this vicious cycle and are either desperate or depressed at the idea of living it out. So get really good at enjoying the small things in life: chew your food slowly enough to really taste it, make eye contact with people when speaking and realize that they are a complete person outside of the context in which you know them, actually listen to your boyfriend/girlfriend, (a good one) learn to recognize when you've truly touched someone's life, realize that truly wise people don't offer information until they're humbly asked, appreciate the beauty of nature. Think back on your most awesome memories; are they of your life's milestones or are they of the flawed, unintentional moments you've been lucky enough to experience in life? Thirdly, consider that you were created with purpose and for a purpose. In my mid-twenties I realized that even if I couldn't wrap my mind entirely around a loving God and sacrificial savior, that the reality of both were far more comforting than they idea that we're simply the best that evolution has to offer hurtling through space and time with no real purpose. I'm an incredibly logical person and conducted a test: I committed to a short period of time where I would commit entire belief and reliance into/onto God and logically expected either (1) a clear response if He were real or (2) the uneventful arrival of the end of the time period. I started reading the first book of the new testament (Matthew) and prayed daily that if He really were real and cared about me that he would reveal himself to me. At my lowest point, I got my answer. I'd often wondered why I'd want to live another 60-70 years if I already knew what awaited me. Now I can honestly say that the best relationships have stemmed out of bible studies (my wife) or church and mentoring opportunities (close friends), that my most cherished travels have been while on mission trips, and that I've never felt bigger than those times that I've made myself the most small during service projects. It is enormously humbling and awe-inspiring to know that I was created for a purpose (even if I haven't figured out what it is) and that I can cast all my worries on him. Or if you don't want to go the church-y route you can google for "purpose in life" and follow any of the hundreds of suggestions for digging it out of yourself. Just remember that "going to college" is not your purpose in life, but it may be one of they many paths/doors that leads you TO your purpose in life. God bless.


Nate12 4 years ago

Hi, right now I am 20 so I still have 5 years to go before I'm 25. It feels like a long time from now, but It really isn't, I mean It seemed like I was 15 just yesterday. Average age to get married for men in 28 and for women it is 26 so if your a 25 year old unmarried guy, you still have a few years, and if your a girl, you have 1 year but hey who's counting? Marriage has no time table, its about finding that special someone to spend the rest of you life with. Some people find that person in college, and some people in there forties. at 25, that will be the least of my concerns. As far as jobs, at 25 I want to have a decent paying job, and hopefully do what I love, but if not, I will look at my options, and by age 35 I want to be happy with my decision. for me 25 is just getting started in life, your like 3 years out of college for crying out loud, so I hope y'all will relax and just enjoy being relatively youg, because by 40 you'll wish you regret complaining and stressing over a "quarter life crisis.


Miss_hopeless 4 years ago

Carrero,I think I will try out your "God experiment". I am feeling especially depressed today. I question my faith, sometimes I think there is no use in believing, but I many times y feel empty. I am 32 and finished my PhD over a year ago, I haven't been able to find a job mainly because I am honestly scared of starting something new. I feel as if I were frozen or paralyzed. I am married (no kids yet)and am happy with our relationship but I just wish I had more happiness to offer. I guess another thing that doesn't help much is that my husband is an atheist but I definitely do not think we have to share the same spirtual thinking and who knows maybe he would be interested eventually. Reading what you posted gave me some kind of hope or at least another perspective. I will give the "experiment" a try, I do need to find some kind of purpose in my life.


YC 4 years ago

I'm turning the big 25 at the end of next month. All the things I wanted to have accomplished by this age I haven't even started. I fell off track somewhere and became comfortable. A wise person once said

"Things happen when they happen. no age is gonna make life happen to you quicker besides natural body aging"


asdf 4 years ago

Everywhere I find articles like this it's the same thing

Is getting married the only thing in people's minds ?

Why are they so much desperate to get married anyway?


Juelz 4 years ago

Thanks Carerro. good stuff in your post, im turning 25 soon and hit a point where i just don't know what i want to do with myself, don't know what "career" interests me.

Life, Life is a strange miracle. I have learned in my qtr century to keep striving for happiness, do stuff FOR YOU, and keep your family close, cause they'll be gone before you know it, and damn it, when im old and slow, im gonna miss my mom pronly more than anything.


ashish 4 years ago

i've completed 20 years.. and i was having almost the same questions as you. Because i'm gonna graduate in computer science engineering in a couple of months, and i've been placed, but i still feel like shit. No sense of achievement through and through. Maybe its the rub-off effect, seeing all those characters in movies and visualizing some from novels, how those people always get something passionate to do with their lives, save the world and shit.

For me, I read Ishmael a few months ago, and since then, i'vent been able to get over the feeling that a)getting a job b)marrying a nice girl c)having a family d)growing old just like others is done by a billion other people and i for a damn don't need to repeat it! I mean surely i want a very unique end to all the days of my life. Because most of the days i ask my self this before taking up any work or thinking about any new venture/idea: To what end man? For eg., "i'm gonna make a lot of money from selling Android apps.. F*** yeah! then bam - To what end man? I'm gonna roam around in the beemers and audis alright but still i won't be just the one guy. Even if i was just the one guy, hell, i wouldn't be doing anything worthy of remembrance, 'cause trust me, its one thing why people do most of the things, and they don't know consciously. Achilles chose to fought the war of Troy because only that way his name would have resonated for centuries maybe millenia, even though it came at the cost of his death.

So its just basically all about prioritizing the things we want to do in our life. The things we have been putting away of late, and realized just now that, "oh shit! i gotta do this while i

m xyz years old"

Heck.. i don't remember where i'm going. I'm lost

lol

BTW, your article was good


Rikki 4 years ago

I'm turning 25 tomorrow... and I feel like I wrote this myself. Every aspect of this blog is me right now. Thank you for writing this, I don't feel so alone now!


lpanterac 4 years ago

I turned 25 4 months ago and I was reading the quarter life crisis book at 22 LOL. I have my first baby on the way. I didn't appreciate how that 49 year old woman said to wait until you have a good husband to have kids because thats not in "God's plan". You don't know if that will ever happen. Also, being married does NOT guarantee you won't be a single mother. Life happens at every age. Happy 25 everyone :)


Rushlynn 4 years ago

I'm turning 25 in 2 days! I can definitely relate to this post. Thanks for sharing!


asian supreme 4 years ago

yea reading stories bout other people turning 25 makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I'm turning 26 in a couple weeks, life is still the same after high school, i'm trying to get back into the university life, but iunno, still playing video games!!! I gotta get my life together or win the Scratch and Win!!! ahhh and it's Valentine's Day! oh snap peace


Marli 4 years ago

It's like it was me writing this. I'm going through almost exactly the same things and feel the same. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone, :)


Jim 4 years ago

I turned 25 today and feel the same as everyone else. I was actually surprised to find this article and this group of people that feel the same as me. I am constantly thinking and critiquing my current status in life. As the article explained, the first few years in your twenties are great. Most people are in college until 22 or 23 and as we know college is fun. In college you know what you will be doing the next days, weeks, and months that follow; you go to school. However, you soon gratuate and what is the next step. The United States economy is in the toilet. Prices of everyday goods are getting more expensive.

So we are 23 or 24 and have been graduated for 1 or 2 years. Most of us move home or somewhere and get a job. The job is good for a few months. Then we start to worry, is this what I want to be doing? Is this job good enough? Should I go back to school? And as previously mentioned, we all have friends that are in law school or med school, friends that are married, friends with kids. Then we start to analyze our life to our peers and we stress ourselves.

I need to wrap this up. I initially had no intention of writing how I felt, but after reading about the other people, I decided to share what I was going through. I think that we all have questions about what's next for us. Where and what will we be doing in a year or so? Who will we be with? And the truth is we don't know. Unlike high school and college we do not know what is the next step for us. This can be a scary thought and experience. We are to old to be parting a lot like we do in our early 20's. And I personally feel like I am to young to marry or just not ready for that. This part of our life is hard and unpredictable. It's up to ourself to make something of it. We all know it's not fun getting old but it happens and we can not stop it. Make the best of it and have fun.


Vinay 4 years ago

Itz really getting excited reading the blog and the experiences getting from our commentz..!! What a wonderful day..!! I could see soo many as me today..!! I just thank GOD..!! and ask him to Bless you all..!! Have great future my friends I am gonna turn 26 this September 2012..!! :D and still trying for doing Masters in USA, presently preparing for USA student visa interview..!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL..!!


25jak 4 years ago

I am turning 25 next month. I am still in college. Have no had a relationship in years. I am confused as to who I am becoming and it is scary. I feel myself changing but try to fight it because the person I am becoming is the person I would never think I would be...conservative. I find myself even questioning aspects of myself that make me who I am (sexual orientation). Learning makes it all that much difficult. The more I learn, the more I change..the scary it becomes. I have no job, and have has a long line of shitty dead end jobs in the past. I am questioning my degree and if I should go back and get another. I love what I study but it can be draining. I don't know if it is "me". I don't even know who I am anymore! I can tell by my facial structure that I am getting older, and I look worse then I did back in the my early 20's. I find myself having to define who I am now, paying more attention to things I would have said freely, but now I realize maturity and definition requires not doing or saying the things you would say. Turning 25 is horrible. I don't think I will make it to 30. I wish I could just end it all honestly.


KWag 4 years ago

I'm so thankful there are other people out there feeling how I feel. I thought I was going crazy!!


Sam 4 years ago

I turn 25 at midnight today and everything on this blog hit me two weeks ago. And I have to say, I have been a little depress since lol. But I am gong to embrace it. Everything I achieve and everything I have yet to. I hope when I turn 30 I'll be in a different place. But I think God I get to see it, not a lot of people got the chance to see they 25th birthday.


Lj7 4 years ago

I am turning 25 the end of April .i have been analysing every aspect my life it really only came together in last 2 years where I felt I was at rock bottom.i have finished college,now I'm renting ok money little tight I feel I just work play bills ,I like spending time with family or but I can say I love my job ,for now I'm happy and feel lucky as I have been trough difficut times.

The one area tho Is my love life ha,,I have been questing my sexuality, wile now as can't ignore it, Im single most of the time for the last 5 years. I'm independent , I have had strong feelings for my best friend Who I went to school withII'm starting to trying to meet girls, and that make me happy, my mum knows that helps. I'm more accepting of myself so I don't have a clue where il be in 5 yearsthat department.

You can't really plan your life as it just happens u make the changes and decisions .


Jade 4 years ago

I am 24 right now, but I have been questioning my life for a very long time now. I think it has a lot to do with the idea that by a certain age, you need to have accomplished something. At this age you have had sex, at this age you move out, at this age you have a career, at this age.....etc.etc. The media only reinforces that belief.

When I was 16 I had this idealized picture of myself in adulthood, like many people do. The problem is that in childhood and adolescence, things didn't 'fall into place' either, so it's very strange that many of us believe that when you're older, it suddenly will. It doesn't.

I almost have my bachelors degree in Communication and in my last year the college I study at got involved in a huge scandal concerning fraud and illegitimate degrees. It's gotten very very bad press to the point students can't get internships and jobs because employers don't want us. It's made me wonder why I worked so hard the past 4 years, also because halfway down the line I discovered I didn't to get into this line of work at all.

So right now, like many of you I am asking myself what I want to make of my life, what will become of me. It's funny, I was watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" the other day (hadn't ever seen it before) and at the end of the movie, the main character tells his daughter something in a letter, which really hit home for me:

"For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

Especially that last sentence. I think it's true. Our lives are defined by our opportunities, even the ones we miss. Sitting here worrying about getting older doesn't make it better. Days still pass us by. Years will pass us by. And if we don't watch it, we'll still be where we don't want to be. You can look at others who seem to have everything going for them and be jealous, or you can look at the cards you've been dealt and make the best out of that.


Gabrielle 4 years ago

I'm leaving 25 right now soon I be 26 and I feel So happy reading this:) it's so true !!! Made me giggle a little.Time not waiting for no one it's crazy how life passing you by So quickly.


isha khan 4 years ago

omg ,omg i m 25 n i xactly feels the same way ,i cant stop feelin this way ,like i wake up in the middle o night n i have anxious thoughts of gettin older n older day by day ,i know exactly how it feels ,its i don't know?? ,how it ill be??,,have i enjoyed the 20z enough ??or how can i make my 20z awesome n have all the fun before its too late n then career ,everythin mixes up n gives me tht buttefly feelins in my stomach ,good to know n now i can know tht officially i m passin through quarter life crisis n i m not alone out there lolz ,,love it


pre expat 4 years ago

Im a 19 year old guy. I just got back from a trip to Thailand. The trip changed me in ways. I now have about 10x more motivation to reach my goals. my goals as of now are save up as much money as physicly possible and go back to east Asia. Eventually find an income over there. which I am always researching about. oh and I am learning Thai.

hshortt@live.com


joseph 4 years ago

im 24 turning 25 but im not going to sound like yall because im trying to stand out i belive life is what you make of it no matter what is your age you can steal accomplish any thing you want you have to under stand that no one is going to feel sorry for you but you people just belive in your self im im turning 25 but im not going to give cause of what all i know i can stay young forever if you think im pulling your head reply to this message in i will let you on to a little secret only a few know about intill then keep faith people and as of today just start living life like you never did before become a couger if you have to


Jack Smith 4 years ago

I'm 27, and 1 month away from my B.S. degree, work full time since age 20, part time since 14 and was NEVER unemployed... No kids, semi-girlfriend... The problem here is not your age. The problem is that people become selfish, greedy, money-driven, social status obsessed, lying, cheating, stealing, back stabbing pricks. They begin to do whatever they can for THEMSELVES at any expense, even if that means you or your friendship with them. Once they HAVE what they need (aka the girl you liked, or a girl that happened to NOT be knocked up by someone else, has a rich family, etc), then you become competition and a THREAT to their "claim". The problem is with our greed driven society, and the corproate world brings it out in all of us. Since most people enter the corporate world at 23-25 (me at 20), that's when they start letting the GREED and REALITY they notice affect them, and they start playing the screw or be screwed game that applies in the corporate world TO THEIR REAL LIFE. Blame the corporate world, and the keep with the Jones's mentality. I don't see any point in getting married (you actually pay MORE taxes if you both have decent jobs), and I damn well know that I don't want kids. I KNEW I didn't want kids SINCE I WAS ONE. All the condescending "you will change your mind someday" quotes that people who got knocked up (not by choice) use this leverage to compensate for their true unhappiness for giving up their freedom. Hang in there, stay free, MOVE TO A MAJOR CITY with a liberal mindset. You will be right at home with other 21 to 60 year old's that also enjoyed the "alternate path" to a fun life. In the burbs, you will be frowned upon because they are all pissed off for being trapped. If you still aren't trapped, then trust me. Move to Philly, West Coast, NYC, whatever.. In fact, come to the party at my apartment. Drinks on me. Cheers and good luck.


JOSH 4 years ago

i didn't go through that at 25.but i turn 30 in 3 days and the last couple weeks i get major aniety,i feel lost and im scared of getting older.im a grown man and i have found myself breaking down and crying the last week when i think about my age.not in front of people,but when im alone.all my friends are married with kids and i haven't been in a long term relationship since i was 24.i still feel as good as i did when i was 18.but i loved my life from 16-24 and the last 6 years have been the hardest of my life.i still don't have a career and im workin a dead end job.my favorite thing to do since i was 5 is console gaming.i almost feel like that since im turning 30 and im not married with kids that its never gonna happen.i don't want to have to become a 12 hr a day workhorse that never gets to enjoy what makes him happy just to have a place in life.im trying to figure out if this is normal.are there others out there from 25-30 that are just afraid of growing old like me.ive never felt so overwhelmed and alone in my life.


JOSH 4 years ago

i want to thank all of you for sharing you thoughts,reading all this lets me know im not alone.maybe this is commom in everybody,but alot of people are just too afraid to admit it and deal with it.good luck everyone.


Millsy 4 years ago

Well it's been really interesting reading all these posts!! The quarter life crisis really does exist. I guess most things in life until then are planned/assumed/dictated/expected to some degree...once u hit 25 your a free agent! There is no map, there are no rules..ur free until the next part of life which is about marriage, kids, the house....and that can happen at any time over the next 10 or do years...so if u don't have anything else in mind that u want to achieve then that's what ur going to end up thinking about...and unfortunately marriage, kids, house are not as straight forward as getting a job or buying a car or going to uni. 25 is young!! Your 20's are the years for discovering who you ate and what you like and what you want to achieve in life. Enjoy the journey and take time to smell the roses!!


Bret 4 years ago

Hi all, I'm not 25 but i will hit 22 this year (sorry if my naivety shows) and I think I may be in the midst of a quarter life crisis.

I'm in university studying bio-medicine with good grades but in the past 4 months I've lost my passion for the course with a year and 2 months to go. The course traps me into a commitment I cannot tolerate, and a career in this discipline will only separate me from people (emotionally) further, I feel. The course, i believe, narrows my mind, into an analytical view of the world, one which i feel is detrimental to my emotional health. I'm 21, not comfortable with people except those who can put up with me long enough to see that I'm not actually the dick i probably come across as. Even those I am highly reserved around. I feel as though my friendships (no real girlfriends who I have connected with) are incompatible with the life I want to lead. I think they are trying to help but inadvertently holding me back, due to the mindset which I have fallen into. I want freedom, and they tell me what i should do to improve my life and mindset. I would find that amusing if I wasn't referring to myself.

I do have one saving grace though, I know my passions: I love the outdoors and I've recently started hiking, rock climbing and mountain biking at any opportunity. I want to quit my degree (and screw the work I've already put in since it will never make me happy), get any job with no responsibility and pursue my passions to the fullest extent possible, possibly even work towards moving to the alps or somewhere similar, so I can do some alpine mountaineering with like-minded people. Maybe in years to come I could be a mountain guide? I think that actually might be my dream job. I love the freedom of just exploring the wilderness, having nothing to worry about except yourself, what you have with you and what's over the next mountain. I love not having to worry about scrutiny by peers, the public, employers, friends, family and colleagues. I don't want to be upset these people, but I also don't want them getting in the way of my life, which is what commitments entail.

But then I get told by all the people around me to stick with the degree, maybe these ideas will pass and I'll start to appreciate my work a bit more. I don't know if they are are right, but this is my life: surely only I know what is best for me and I don't know if people will ever convince me otherwise. I will not stop asking these questions (of any who will listen, much to their annoyance, I assume) and I don't plan to stop searching for what I'm looking for.

I'm very interested to know what anyone thinks about this situation and would welcome any comments.


Alex 4 years ago

I have many problems in my life and have been to so many spell casters with no results and as a result of this, I

ended up in a huge debt.One day I used internet and felt some kind of strange but kind and gentle force as if

someone was guiding me to search for spell casters. I can’t remember the words I typed in the search engine but I was directed to spritspelltemple@yahoo.com. And that was it! I felt so lucky to have found spell caster. It all happened so naturally and easily and I am glad it did. No words can express the feeling I had.Despite all the bad experiences I had with FAKE spell casters on the internet in the past, nothing could stop me from reaching my dreams, so I ordered a spell from spritspelltemple@yahoo.com. I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself.I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me.


Millsy 4 years ago

Reply to Brett. 

Sounds like u've got the itch to discover, explore and have a good adventure! I envy you, at 22 the world is your oyster, you have the freedom to choose where you head in life, with no, or few, strings. Life is short so its important to be happy, to find out who you are and to be fulfilled. 

My advice would be to follow your dreams, it will keep you happy, challenged, allow you to continue learning about things you are passionate about, which in turn makes you the sort of person that people want to be around, if ur really successful you could end up becoming a teacher or mentor for others. Mountain climbing will teach you some great priceless life skills, like sometimes things don't turn put how you planned or you just have to keep going even though it's not as easy as you thought or that the view from the top will be worth the climb! A degree can be done at any age, it definitely helps get a better career and more money, maybe put it on hold for a year while you go climbing and learn some valuable life skills? A good career can also fund amazing adventures and mountain climbs for years to come!! 

Good luck with your decision!


Amanda 4 years ago

i hit 25 in december 2011 i don't feel old, but how ever the sittuations that you see around you start to make you feel older, friends start to have children, settle down and get married,others are out following their careers and even travelling and all of a sudden everything and everyone around you know is changing and suddenly its not just a case of going out and getting drunk and finding that perfect outfit and the perfect man.It starts been about family and careers, i have started to look at life in a different way but i do not once regret anything i have done and have not done at the end of the day everybodys life is different and you can't compare yours to another persons.I find it harder to make new friends now than i did before, all of my friends have kids and i don't so i don't feel as connected to them as i use to because i don't share that life experience with them yet, im trying to concentrate on a career in the make up industry weather or not it gets me any were who knows but i love doing it and i love my partner who im gonna marry in 2 years and maybe one day we will have kids. Enoy your life its YOURS nobody elses and you are as young as you feel! when your 70/80 and you look back on your life would you really have seen your self as been old at 25/30/40/50/? NO YOU WOULDN'T SO JUST GO OUT THERE AND LIVE AND STOP WORRYING!!!!"XX


Chris 4 years ago

Wow. I am also an IT recruiter, 25, and absolutely cannot stand it! I take sick days to assist on photo productions and shoots, and plan to assist more and make it into commercial photog.

congrats on the book, really. that's a feat!

are you still working the day job, or writing full time?


Martina 4 years ago

Hi All, I've turned 25 in January and I have exactly the same feelings,thoughts and problems . What a surprise :) But I am glad to see I am not alone.

I've got my Bachelor degree last june , I studied business administration, I thought I liked it. But recently I realized that what really makes me happy is when I communicate with people and when I can help them, I did a research and I found out that I am really interested in Psychology and that Psychology fits the things I like to do. But can I let everything and start from scratch ? If I do that I will be around 30 when I graduate, is it too late or I should go for what I feel is my passion ? I am really lost and insecure of making such a big step and I would be very grateful if someone would share his opinion about my situation. Should I concentrate on what I have achieved till now or should I go for something totally new ?

Thanks a lot in advance


rb101182 profile image

rb101182 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA Author

Martina - I just graduated college in January and I'm 29 now! I switched majors from communications to business which took longer, but definitely worth it. It's never too late!

Chris - I actually started doing staffing consulting, so basically I work as an in-house recruiter on contract assignments - so they pay a really high hourly rate, I make my own hours, and when the contract ends I can take as much time off as I need until I find a new assignment (most contracts can last up to 6 months - a year, sometimes longer). And I still write on the side :) I highly recommend it!


Cooter 4 years ago

25 is old, that's why! Grandpa!


Liz* 4 years ago

Wow I can't believe I came across this and I can't believe how many people responded to this blog! I know its been said by a lot of others but I too felt Luke when I was reading it that I wrote it! I'm 25 turning 26 in a week and I've been feeling the same exact way and thought it was just me in my head. I can't believe how many feel the same I must say its a sigh of relief. Unlike the writer I left home at 18 and was lucky enough to find a job in sales where I could travel the country and I was making 6 figures a year at such a young age that I got sucked in. It wasn't the most professional job it was totally legal and I loves it I sold steak and seafood door to door and got to live all over CA, NV, OR, and four islands in Hawaii and I felt so blessed to have experienced that at such a young age. Unfortunately by my 25 th birthday the office I was currently in in Hawaii shut down and I never wanted to leave the islands after being out there for so long but I was forced to go back to the mainland due to lack of jobs and the economy. Long story short I'm now living back at my parents having being young and foolishly spending the majority of the good money I had made over the years and now I feel like I'm back at square one. I didn't go to college because I was doing so well at such a young age I didn't think I needed to further my education but now that I've had a taste of the good life and traveling I want more and I want a career that can take me there and I feel like at 26 am I too old to start over and do all the things I wanted to do when I was 18? I wanted to go to school for fashion and be successful in LA or NY or be an actress or be a marine biologist or get my helicopter license and travel to Italy and Paris and Australia and go back packing through Europe. I've learned so much and have been blessed at such a young age but was it worth it? I'm also now single as of the last two weeks for the first time in 5 years and I am also afraid what if I end up that 40 year old women who's the only one not married with a family? I too have noticed after coming back to my home town from being gone for almost 8 years that the majority of my friends are either married or have kids or both and as happy as I am for them its exausting and kind of frustrating. I guess my question is when did 25 become the new 35? Is it because of that, that I feel so rushed to have so much more accomplished by now and if so why is everyone in such a hurry? What happened to taking time to enjoy life and not jump into being our parents? Well for anyone that's read this ill take any advice you have and for those of you reading this who aren't yet 25 my only advice to you is live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid and listen to anyone but your own intuition just make sure you have long term plans to go along with the short term and don't be afraid to experience life to the fullest. Embrace it because we only live once and remember to live in today because tomorrow is never promised! Aloha*


Kate 4 years ago

Me too.


Quake-sama 4 years ago

What if u are turning 25, and you feel like u´ve trhown away all your youth, u´ve had no life because of being studying day and night, no relationships and almost no friends,and when u open ur eyes u are all alone, and you start wondering what would have happened if u had made things other way?


myc 4 years ago

kurt cobain died at 27, he's in the 27 forever club? nvm


Megan 4 years ago

I turned 25 6 months ago. I found the following ways to deal with my life: first the less you say the better. Lie about everything, then do whatever you want. Spend time with people your own age who are doing the same things or are in the same life stage as you. Apparently most everyone finds some significant other by the age of 30, maybe 35 the worst. But if you're still single at 35 and don't want to be hopefully by that age you'll only have to worry about one thing, rather than a whole bunch of things. Also if you are studying or wanting to study just do it part-time and keep working, then you get the best of both worlds. Also its never too late to study and lastly you're only going to get older. Another thing, just go and do the things you like, because thats the best way to find like minded people, especially a future partner. Embrace age, maturity is good, doesn't mean you cant still have fun, maybe you just have to reduce it to certain people and places. And stop thinking about yourself becoming older start thinking of it as a way to become a more trusting person who people can rely on. Everyone even young people admire qualities like that, and you cant be trusting and responsible without also being mature. Otherwise think of the mess the world would be in. Just make sure you have somewhere you can vent your immaturity into. No body wants to be mature all the time or expects you to be, just were it matters. But some people will come down on you, like my family and my ex, and I say to that, nah ah, I am way too young to throw away the chase. Settle down they say? Settling down is for people who are fulfilled and satisfied with their lives, thats not me yet and I refuse to settle down with a bunch of stuff I don't like. The way I see it, if Im not tied down with a mortgage or a life partner or kids, Im still free to chase my dreams. If you can keep your sense of humour life will never be too hard and don't expect too much just work on getting the experiences you want. If you think age is a stigma now wait till your like 70. Also if you're in a relationship but don't think they're the one, maybe you should leave them, but my suggestion is wait until you r over your mid-life crisis first, because I know perfectly well that after leaving my boyfriend, I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I have a feeling once this mid-life crisis is over I will know then, although I really did not want to be with him anymore so.... I think my senses were right, and now that Im single I feel kind of relieved, because life is short after all, who knows maybe when Im 30 Ill regret it, but maybe if Id stayed I would have regretted it then as well... I hate this quarter life crisis!


Jenn T 4 years ago

Ha ha I'm turning 36 and I have never been more at peace with life. But when I was 22 I felt how you feel. Do what is in front of you and let god handle the rest. Plus get Botox and your age will go up but your wrinles won't. Oh and by the way I'm getting married for the first time at 36. Take your time remember not in your time in gods time.


johnterry 4 years ago

I will be turning 25 tomorrow. I am still not settled but I always think of positive things that will come up in my life.


25 years mother nd wife 4 years ago

I just want to be carefree find a job to support my 2 dotahs nd leave my unsupportive husband.


Miss v 4 years ago

In my early 20's (21-23) I was single (by choice), carefree and traveling while holding up a ave paying full time job and living at my studio by the sea. Life seemed beautiful because I had choices of men throwing themselves at me or at "my life". I was popular and always the one who experience more. Then suddenly, I found out my stepfather had a two year affair. My mother was a complete mess and so was I.. I felt as though I was her. I dived into a deep depression (and all the feelings of rejection and gulit from childhood spring to me all at once) hence, the other reason why I didn't want to be in a relationship with any men no matter how good they were..

Then I met this man I fell deeply in lust but ended quickly(like all good things)

I spent my 24 soul searching and getting back on track to "find myself again" or to be "that carefree" girl again. I started to open myself to new experiences and people.

I just turned 26 this month, have been in a two year relationship with a partner whom is loyal, loving and a great company, I'm back living with my parents because at 25 I decided to pursue a different career. I want to see how far I can go. My degree is for 5 years. And I haven't even got through the full first year yet. I'm living in the lounge room for the past year because since I'm not working. This is better than nothing.

My social life has been pretty non exisistent (I hardly drink or party anymore) I spend most of my time focusing on my studies. Any free time is left to family, tv, boyfriend, good friends and my health & wellness.

Sometimes, others will ask, why do I make these choices of studying again. When I can be earning lots of money at a big firm(which I was when I was 24), have my own place and not live out of a shoebox.

But the way I see life us, whenever you are, you always wish for something better, you think the grass us greener on the other side. Sure, I'm only 26 and although those thoughts in the article did come up in the beginning. But you have to STOP and be grateful and realize, that the fun only stops when you stop. It's a choice, just like happiness. Early 20s is a ballgame of dating games, late nights and travels. Mid 20s will be a whole new different ball game. Why would you want to be stuck in one place for the extended period of time? You can still have your old self"because its YOU" but minus the stupidity. Being 25 is a new experience of it's own. Sure I can be out partying non stop but when the party's over and you wake up and your 40. You'll wish you did more.

There's alot of 25 year olds that are forced into marriage in this world or millionaires having to confine and define their career by what is left and expected of them by their parents. FEAR IS ALWAYS THERE. But hope is greater than fear. Learn to appreciate your situation because once your onto your next, you'll wish you were back where you were.

I may be living in a lounge room of my parentals and at times the downgrade drives me mad but I'm closer that ever to my 14 YO brother whom I'm learning more about life through he's eyes. I have a great partner where sometimes I'm bored of the relationship (because of how much of a wildchild I was) but I'm willing to learn and appreciate the stability and love that is offered to me. I don't analyses how narrow the men pool is (things women, mothers, gfs, panick over) I just think, "love takes time" and when it comes to marriage. Like everything else in life it's a working progress and as long as your mind is open and your heart is warm. Things will work out.

I learn so much about being able to save on a student budget that even if I graduate at the age of 30. I'm still confident that I wi be well off. There alot of people with high paying jobs at any age where they simply don't know how to save. That's what keeps them chain to the desk and their bosses.

I'm proud of taking the step and the choices of pursuing my education of becoming a dermatologist. Choices I wouldn't been able to make if I was 20. As you grow old, people change, things fall apart, but you MUST try to see things through eyes of half full. Life will give you more.

And as for my friends whom I haven't seen in months due to study? Well all 20 of them turned up at my birthday dinner this year. I'm so grateful for life, for giving me a second chance to experience a different sort of love(my partner), of getting to experience and offer guidance to my little brother, of learning to love my parents even though have flaws and make mistakes like the rest of us, of appreciating just how lucky and blessed of my friendships even though I don't have enough time to see them.

Most of all, learning that at 25. It's really just a number. You can be 35 and feel the way you do now. But take a chance and soon you will see that you are very lucky than the rest in the world. :)


Eric 4 years ago

I think this is was what's wrong with me... I feel like shit.

I cant stop thinking of my past and all the things I did wrong in my last relationship that I screwed up. Now im a total looser and am miserable. My life sucks, i feel like I can't love anything anymore.


khaled 4 years ago

great article ... ur hub actually crossed the atlantic lol cause im from egypt and im turning 25 after couples of monthes and since a while and im thinking the same way u r thinking im waiting for the right one .. i don't like my job but it paid well .. looking back for my pasions and like i lost it .. even when i watch a movie or a song i enjoy watching and listening stuff from my earler twintys years age ... thinking about my relationships years ago and how i cant love anyone those days like always asking my self she is not the right one ... so i went to google desperate and typed " feel like my youth stopped years ago " waiting what the google's tide would bring :) and ur page showed up and i found im not the only one ... but feeling u r not the only one is not a cure actually and even with reading the comments below we r all hitting the 25 and turning 25 we need the old folks to tell us about it :)


Anonymous 4 years ago

I am 21 and passed my grade 12 one year ago i'm not studyng coz am struggling with finance. My wsh is tht when i reach 25 i'l be nt datng coz datng causes me a lot of stress bcoz i always get wrong guys for me.


Jennie 4 years ago

Well, sounds like you had a good life though... My teens were not about parties... they were about surviving depression, remember that not everyone enjoys their teenage time. I have spent half my life already on worrying, planning, trying to figure out what to do with life, and I'm only 24. So not everyone has an easy, good time when they are teens... Just a note :)


Jasmin 4 years ago

Love this - Interesting though, this was written awhile ago..be interesting to know how you feel now coming up to what would be 30? xxx Peace


spoonage profile image

spoonage 4 years ago from New Jersey

It's funny how ubiquitous all of this is. I came across this hub after writing one of my own about the very same type of situation. Suddenly all the passions that you felt were ok to push to the side come rushing in, demanding they get their due before it's too late. Now I am in the midst of figuring out how to acknowledge them without going homeless or hungry. Thanks for the commiseration!

Here's the hub I wrote: http://hubpages.com/relationships/Crisis-at-25-and...


Anshy 4 years ago

I'm 25 now .. and you just tells what I feel deep in my heart but also I feel that I became too old like 82 I'm not satisfied with all what I did or get I'm working in information technology too and I don't like my work, I break up with my boyfriend .. and I want now is a new start a new city anew people around and a new everything , but in my country in my religion and to my family I'm prevented from moving alone and I believe that's the way my life will keep on and I will be crazy in the coming few years .


Nicole 4 years ago

I'll be turning 25 tomorrow. I'm

single, no kids, still living at home with my mum. I've been

working since I was 18 and now, panicking that I have nothing to show for it, have just take out a loan so I can buy a car next week. I'm still not happy. I've been working in boring admin jobs for the last 7 years and I finally found a job that I don't hate waking up for, isn't boring with nice people to work for and I'm still not happy.

I've been single for 2 years, never had a serious long term relationship. My longest relationship has been 3 months and my last boyfriend felt I rushed him into being in a committed relationship with me. Men don't even look at me like they did when I was younger. I never thought at 25 I would wish to be 18 again. I had my pick of men and now I fear I smell of desperation. Sounds pathetic, but my friends are in long term relationships with kids and I've never even been in love. Happy birthday to me- single, ugly, unloved and only have 30 ahead of me. Cheers


Cee 4 years ago

After reading this hub, I feel so much better. I thought I was alone in the world. I felt like I woke up one day and just realise that I had wasted 7 years working in a job I didn't like and putting everything on hold till I completed my degree. Its been two years and I am single but this time it is not by choice, I still work in the same job, no children and 30 is knocking very loudly. I do hope 25 gets better. Thank you though for this post and making me aware that I am not the only one.


freeee 4 years ago

You're nowhere near Mid life crisis? but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.


freeee 4 years ago

You're nowhere near Mid life crisis haha at 25? are you serious but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.


kimora 4 years ago

I read every single comment on this blog, as I have been feeling the exact same way. I am 22 and went to uni studying my my undergrad BA in Psychology/Drama Theatre and Performance Studies at 19. I passed first year, and second year I had a lot of disrupts and it was because I moved back home and commuted, and when my mother kicked me and my sister out and paid for our houseshares, that's when my life turned upside down. I had to move out my houseshare before the contract was up, as my lanlord didn't want me bringing any males over, which is pretty sexist. On my last day I was packing, to leave my mother told me last min, she feels the next houseshare I'm moving to is too expensive for her. So basically I was screwed I had nowhere to live, and going back to live with her was not an option. The landlord at my new houseshare, was not there and a tenant living there told me he gave it to someone else. I then took the offer to stay with my older cousin, and I stayed at her place for a week then left due to stress and then three months at my nans on my fathers side. I then got forced to move back home, and my mother gave me hell! She did not want me home, despite I was in my second year of uni full time. I was not allowed to use the internet, as according to her I was not working to help pay bills. I had no love and support from her, and this left me into depression and I ended up failing second year due to being stressed and unsettled and even sick! My uni did not help me either. I got my studies terminated despite I passed my re-take exams. What's even more sad is if I had not moved back home in my second year none of this, would have happened. I regret not living near my uni. I would have graduated this month! And what's so annoying is the uni, did not give me a chance straight away, in 2011 to re-take second year. I threatened to sue them for not letting me know that that me appealing to stay on my studies, was a waste of time because they had already made the decision in sept 2011. If I had known I would have transferred to another uni. As I threatened them for wasting my time, and delaying my life plans Psychology decided to let me back on 2012 sept this year, but what's the point if they can mess with my life again? I am going back to uni this year in a different uni to get my degree, I won't let nothing or no one get in the way of my goals and dreams! And no one should in life allow that. Know your rights. And fight for what you believe in everyone. Its delayed a lot as I was even going to pursue a career in singing and music, after I graduated but I've decided that I will do both as now I am running out of time.


ray 4 years ago

Turning 26 in a month or so, never had a real gf, still stayin with my mom (parents got divorced), sister's got divorced too, I somewhat fear what would happen in the next few years, before hitting 30 landmark and maybe even further. Currently working at a private firm, but how I wish I could do more to gain more money to enjoy a better life. I've only managed to get a college diploma so my options might be a bit limited. After reading most of the comments, I felt slightly relieved knowing that Im not the only who's dealing with these kind of problems. Be strong guys, cheers.


isabella 4 years ago

I am SO happy I read this! I just turned 25. I've accomplished a lot but not everything I had hoped, planned, and worked so hard for in college. I moved to DC 3 years ago from the west coast and have been able to travel a bit and work some cool jobs. However, I'm not doing what I want and feel so depressed about it sometimes (which is rare since I'm very positive and optimistic, but sometimes you just hit a wall). I was recently demoted (on the day of my 25th birthday) from my job and decided to quit and bartend instead. The sad thing is, I was a straight A honors student in college who worked my butt off in DC for the past 2 years to only end up getting demoted. A real blow to the ol' ego, eh! I'm living with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and we talk of marriage but haven't sealed the deal. He's great but is he the one? I'd like to think so, but his ambitions aren't as grandiose as I'd like. However, the guys with the great jobs and ambitions are total jerks here! My bf treats me like a queen and supports the hell outta me in everything I do, but he still has some immature tendencies that a 30-year old should have given up years ago (things I gave up in college). I've never been this confused before in my life! I guess I saw myself finishing law school by now, taking the Bar, and practicing at an awesome firm on the east coast by now with an awesome car, sweet condo, and an assortment of fancy watches and clothes to choose from. I have NONE of that. But lately, I've taken it upon myself to direct myself into WHO I WANT TO BE. I've applied for jobs that actually suit me and don't necessarily have a fancy title, and have stopped comparing myself to my friends who have the blingy engagement ring, perfect job, and perfect life. I am not perfect like I once was, but I am closer to finding myself.


dre 4 years ago

Yea i am reaserching different articles that provide infromation on individuals turning twenty five. I am so stuck, i have a job that pays ok, but i dont really like it. everything else is going good, i have a GF and we are happy but i just feel like i am missing out on life. I feel like i need to get away and that i am not living to my full pontentiol. what should i do?


Ashok 4 years ago

Who the hell are you??.........Man i am 25 and i feel like you just cut paste what actually happening with me.......Damn every line ,every word just the same.....Thanks for giving me something to think about............I mean it.......Thank You


27 4 years ago

I am 27 and I've been depressed for at least 2 years. I dropped out of college to move to another country. I am happy about that and I consider that somewhat of an accomplishment although it took me too many years to settle down. But now I just feel stuck because I was young and stupid and didn't plan ahead. I still don't know what to do for living, been surviving on seasonal and temporary jobs. I need to get local education but I'm so afraid of commitment. What if I don't get a good job after I invest money in college? What if I hate it in a couple of years? On top of that I am finally divorcing my husband of 5 years. We got married for all the wrong reasons and he is clearly not the man of my dreams. But I've got so attached to him over the years that the separation is killing me. This has been my longest relationship and I have completely lost myself in it. I feel like no other man will love me as much as he did and accept me with all my flaws like he did. Not mentioning that I am not getting any younger and prettier. I also need to get back on my feet financially so job and shelter are my priority at the moment, and I can only dream of going back to school... Oh, and because of my depression I've become paranoid and anti-social and have zero friends which makes my situation nearly unbearable. I can't afford to move away or go on vacation to get better, have no idea what to do next other than every day convincing myself not to give up.


HateMyLife 4 years ago

I turn 25 next month and have not been able to do anything I hoped I would do. Life has hated me since the day I was born... Everytime I get somewhere in life, life just keeps smacking me down. I am at the point where I have given up, can't wait to die. Once I turn 25, I plan on staying in my bed till I die and rot.


Cajun86 4 years ago

I just turned 26 yesterday and feel like trash. I am so depressed that I want to die. This web page made me feel even worse. I have not been able to do anything I hoped to do by this time of my life. I know nobody will care in here anyway. I hate myself and wish I was dead.


Loser 4 years ago

I would rather die than turn this age called 26 which I have turned already


Mjl 4 years ago

I turned 25 this year, I will be 26 in a few months. I know exactly how it feels. It's like I was 8 three days ago. What happened? Where did the years go? I was 24 when I graduated from University in a tough economy. Couldn't find a decent job. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if my engineering knowledge actually landed me a job. Most of my friends are getting married with great careers and bright futures. On the other hand, I am doing a job that pays bad which I really don't like for the last six years or so. I feel I am missing out on my full potential, still struggling to find my path. I guess the best approach to turning 25 is to go out and have fun. The last 2 years, I traveled around the world and met some great people along the way. While in University, I forgot who I was.


Beirut and I 4 years ago

I thought i was alone.. when i heard the "you're 25 now what?" voice! http://3tre.livejournal.com/36625.html


jnGrl 4 years ago

I'm turning 25 in 5 months. I graduated university and moved out to LA. All those years busting my butt in college paid off: I landed my dream-job right out of college. I'm doing what I love, I have my own place, and am financially stable- not to mention I am extremely happy. I discovered myself, who I am, achieved what I wanted out of life, and learned to love myself. So far, 25's looking awesome...... except I ended up missing out on relationship opportunities because I was so focused on reaching for my dreams that now I feel very insecure because I'm turning 25 and I'm still a virgin. I guess now I can have the fun I missed out on because everything else is taken care of... but it doesn't help my anxiety over it though...


3 years ago

A terrible and insensitive post. In one part you make the assumption that everybody is even in a relationship at 25. My brother is 27 and has NEVER had a relationship, he also plays music and doesn't consider 25 at all too old to become a professional artist if you are good enough - this is proven by the history of popular music; most artists worht their salt don't create anything great until at least their mid/late-twenties. As another poster commented your 'crisis' seems to be about keeping up the the Jones's. Rather than put people at ease by sharing your condition you make those with less experience than you or those who are older feel even more alienated.


Lsong 3 years ago

I turned 25 two months ago, and I completely agree. It's nice to see so many people who are going through the same thing, or have gone through it. Thanks :-)


Kyle 3 years ago

Wow, I searched the web on yahoo asking "do a lot of 24 year olds wonder about there place in life" and this came up. To be honest I feel better after reading these statements. I feel like I am still trying to find my place in the world. I have a good job that pays well, I'm not rich but definetly not struggling either. Do I enjoy the job? It's ok I guess. I have been doing it for 6.5 years. Am I passionate about the job? no. It is so much harder to meet girls now that I am not in school. Everybody is going in there own directions. People are getting married, having kids. I'm still single, work 50-60 hours a week. Is this really what my life is going to be like for the rest of my life? There has got to be more to life then this. In any case, I have made the decision to travel the world and take a gap year. I realize I am very fortunate then a lot of the worlds population, and am hoping that this gap year traveling helps me find some of the answers that I am looking for. I am glad to see that I am not alone with my feelings about being 24 (ok it's not 25 but in 6 months I will be).


Flashback 3 years ago

Graduating in 2008 into the recession as a over educated under experienced jobless soul has taught me that if I did crap at school and just got a job flipping burgers at 16 I would be in a better financial position than I am in at the moment.

All of the teachers are liars and brain-washers in school and even at University. Some of the teachers have never had a real job in the real world yet they give out career advice.

To be honest education is the biggest waste of time, money and effort I have ever witnessed with 20:20 hindsight. I put in so much focus that I've never really had a long term GF, can't drive a car or a motor cycle, never had a forign holiday, got there own home. I have been living on benefits at my parents home since 2008. All this sacrifice for no reward, to say I'm a bit p*ssed off would be a understatement.

Yet every one I know who didn't go to university has got or had all of the above...........

And all that I've got to show for the last ten years is a piece of paper that says chemistry degree on it that employers don't give a toss about, well that's a sad position for a 27 year old to be in.


Lola 3 years ago

25 sucks ass. I live at home with my parents after graduating with honors from a great university and then failing out of med school because it turns out I had zero idea how to study (my fault, I know but I can still be pissed about it). I am in a dead end relationship with barely any friends and feel like dying all of the time. I thought by now I would be something other than a loser and a leach on my parents money.


Cam 3 years ago

turning 25 in two months.. i finally gotten into the area i wanted to work in after graduating and doing slave driving internships. Im starting to think is this what i want to be doing for the rest of my life.. i've missed psychology so much- i wanted to be a psychologist. But i had complications in my course. I've never been in a relationship and im starting to think why my life sucks so bad


jdgib 3 years ago

well I am happy that others do feel the same way I do. Unfortunately after reading every single post I still don't seem to have a solution. Im 25 years old and have been for 5 months. It kept telling people I feel like i'm going through a midlife crisis. No one would really listen most would just make a joke out of it saying "im so young". I may seem young to some but to me I am absolutely terrified feeling how short life is.

My life has been interesting to say the least. I began using drugs at age 12 and spiraled out of control by the age of 15 with heroin and cocaine. To make a very long story short I went to Rehab for the 10th time at the age of 19 for 16 months. When I left treatment I had 600 dollars to my name and a girlfriend. I spent that 600 dollars on a room to rent with my girlfriend. within 2 weeks we both had two jobs, within a month we had our own apartment, fast forward 1 year and we were both doing ok financially and we began renting a home, after another year we purchased our 2nd home. my credit was poor so my mother co signed. I started my own business with a friend in 11' which has grown now to over a million dollar a year company. I ended up marrying my girlfriend and have had a very rocky marriage. Now sitting hear after 3 years of marriage and working very hard on my business i know feel like I am wasting time with my wife and feel as if I have wasted much of my life with drugs, depression and working. I feel like after being separated from my wife for a couple of weeks that I started feeling like my old self again, passionate, loving to make music, wanting adventure in my life, feeling very energetic etc. I feel very confused about what I am doing right now. Im having a very difficult time committing to marriage feeling like I didn't savor enough of being young. I feel like I just want to run away and be irresponsible and live life to the fullest ya know? I know that there is no book to life and what I should be doing right now burt I cant help but to have these feelings. I can only pray for answers. Thank you for this post and letting me know that I am not alone.

Thank you


john 3 years ago

hi well i


Kay 2 years ago

I can relate to this article a lot. For me, a lot of my friends are in relationships and already have kids or are married. It seems like every other day someone is getting pregnant or into a relationship. I turned 25 2 months ago and I have never been in an official relationship. I am afraid that I will end up alone. I dated a guy about 3 years ago that I fell in love with... He wasn't ready for a relationship and I took it really hard. I realized that I was dealing with some self-esteem problems and fear of rejection. It caused me to make some mistakes and go into depression from age 22 and I still kind of deal with depression now because I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I graduated from college 2 years ago and haven't been able to find work in my field until recently. Now that I'm in my field I know I don't want to do this forever and I'm still not making enough money to move out of my mom's house. I just feel so alone. I've been trying my hardest to get a good job. I've tried to look into moving out of state but I can't go because I don't have the finances to. I woke up this morning thinking wow another day and I am just wasting my young life. I don't know what to do. Thank you for this site. It's comforting to know other people my age can relate.

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