Why Men Have The Right To Cheat!

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Why men have the right to cheat! By Alexander Thandi Ubani


Reports suggest that more men and women are finding joy in cheating on their spouses. It has become the common trend for many people today. Even though this is bad, but many men are led into this act and that is why we say some men have the right to cheat.

According to research, 2 to 3% of all children are a product of infidelity. The Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 2014 shows that 57% of married men and 54% of married women have admitted to cheating in a relationship. This increase in the number of infidelity has come as a surprise to many considering that most people engaging in this are from good homes. But many have attributed this clandestine love affairs to a series of events which if considered could reduce it.

The following have been expounded as the reasons why men cheat. Most do this even with the knowledge of their mates.

v Nagging: Many men have found nagging to be a good-mood killer. Persistent pestering, arguing and name calling by the women folk has pushed many men to the wall. Some have become so maligned by this behavior that they find home to be a curse. Bothered by this attitude, most men have found comfort away from home. You give your man the right to go after other women by your bad behavior. That is the truth of the matter! Some women are aggressive and sometimes turn out violent in a bid to make a point. Some are masterful talking drums who can repeat matters more often than necessary. Men with nagging wives always find home to be a pit of hell. This in turn, pursues them away from home to beer parlors, clubs and strip clubs just to get away from home. At the height of these events, men find themselves going after other women.


v Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live – Jim Rohn

This is so true especially for those married wo(men) who neglect to care for their body. The body is not indestructible as such must be maintained for fitness, rejuvenation and good health. Most people who neglect to care for their body are faced with many challenges. Some get out of shape, others get bulging stomach, loss of strength and stamina and many more. The physical disadvantage is compelling too. Many women become less attractive, over weight and lazy. When a woman is less attractive by neglecting to take care of her body, she is indirectly going to lose the attention of his man. Men are moved by what they see and when they see something better which is lacking in their woman, they may tend to follow it. Many men have been given the passport to cheat because of the inability of their women to maintain a good health routine. Sadly, this has made many men go after better looking and well-shaped women to satisfy their lusty eyes. Women are not left out in this regard. Eat well; sleep well. This will help keep sickness away. Don’t give your man the right to cheat, make yourself better, fit and sweet looking. Exercise and good care of the body is the most effective key to keep the excuse out. The words of Greek Dramatist, Menander captures it all: “Health and intellect are the two blessings of life”


v Fights and quarrels – verbal disagreement, unwillingness to compromise, stubbornness and selfishness has been identified as a major issue that affect individuals in a relationship. Fights and quarrels have become a necessary evil in our society today because many have used it as a weapon to wreck havoc. Women are notorious for this disposition. It is true that quarrel provides the medium for expression of sincere opinions, however, constant quarrels and fights does not portend well for a relationship. Arguments, provoked utterances, verbal abuse and selfish behaviors do not augur well for any relationship. Fights and quarrels does not only bring rife, insults, abuse, confrontations and long-term resentment but also results in bitter disagreement and hatred that might herald the downfall of a relationship or marriage. Quarrels and fights bring no peace to the home; it divides the home and makes it more uncomfortable. If a home is turned into a warzone, it will be very unlikely that the man would love to stay. Quarrels and fights cannot be removed entirely from any relationship, but ensure to minimize it and more importantly avoid the name-calling, verbal abuse and disagreements.


v Refusal to try new trick or perform certain sex acts

This is another factor that must be addressed because it has brought many marriages/relationships to loggerheads. When a man or woman refuses to perform her sexual obligations, it is a tale tells sign that things have gone wrong. Some men take this as an excuse to go outside to find other women to satisfy their desires. By refusing to do what your man wants, you are giving him license to go outside. Many relationships have come under the hammer as a result of this. Even some men have left the comfort of their homes to live with mistresses and concubines. When such issue arises, come to agreement with your man and find ways to satisfy him. Don’t leave him dissatisfied as this may give room for another woman to provide all that he wants. Some men go to the extent of hiding and playing tricks just to satisfy their desires. Give your man what he wants!


v Cheating on a partner

Cheating on someone comes with many consequences and this includes retaliation and providing the cheated partner reasons to revenge. Cheating brings distrust and ruins a marriage. It breaks trust and love; some say they forgive but they never forget. The easiest way to give a man reasons to cheat is to cheat on him. He will use it as an excuse to remind you of how you started it. Cheating can make one to be vengeful and desperate. It results in extensive guilt, depression and ultimately separation or divorce. When a woman cheats on a man, she is indirectly giving him the passport and right to cheat. SOME men who have been cheated on take it as an opportunity to take their pound of flesh and thus make it a right.


v Ego boosting

Some men who have come under severe criticism from the female folks believe that cheating is a means to boost their ego and wash away the insults and assaults. A man who might have come under such intense blow because of his sexual inadequacies might opt to explore other women in order to put his mind at rest. When this opportunity presents itself, and he performs maximally, he tends to continue in that line. This obvious fact is the reason why some men think it is their right to cheat. “Variety is the spice of life” many men believe in this saying. Many married men have complained about the loss of interest in the sexual department after years of marriage. This is attributed to the fact that as the years go by the love and happiness that once wrapped the beginning of their relationship begins to dwindle. As a result, some go outside to get fresher and better looking women to satisfy their lust.


v Easy forgiveness is also one of the major reasons why some men believe they have the right to cheat. When he knows that after cheating, he will talk his way back into her life, he is bound to do it again. This has become prevalent in many relationships especially of women who are easy to forgive their men after cheating; make things a little hard for him and let him know what he lost. It is good to forgive; but let it be drummed into the ears of the offender never to repeat it again. Moreso, outline the consequences and the need for him to stick to his words. It is really sad to note that many men really do not value their own word because they go against it at will. Such men who are forgiven after infidelity always find their way into another woman’s pant.

v When old sparks die off and she’s no longer attractive and beautiful – at times, it is hard for some men to continue with same woman over many years of marriage. This complaint by men has led many into infidelity. Some men decry how hard it is to wake up with same woman every blessed day for years. They tend to find their wives less attractive, beautiful and complimentary as they were years back. Also, when some women refuse to look after their body, they practically become less fanciful by their husbands. When such scenario occurs, the men take advantage of this to cheat. They vocally voice their displeasure. Men who find themselves in this situation consider it their right to cheat.


Conclusion

It is not right for any man to cheat on a woman; any man who thinks cheating is his right is rightly misguided and ignorant. Cheating not only brings distrust and heartbreak but also ruins a relationship. Therefore, before embarking on this solitary road of discomfort and destruction, take into consideration how hurt your significant other would feel. How would you feel if you find yourself in the same web? Will you be happy? If someone cheats on you and brags how right she is, will you be happy? Men should consider this before claiming right when they err. Cheating is no one’s right and must be avoided because it ruins a relationship. On the other hand, women must do the needful to curtail this problem by holistically observing the detailed advice provided above. This will go a long way in making things far better.


A piece of creative writing by
Alexander Thandi
A Poet, Playwright, Writer and Thespian
©®Copyright 2014

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11 comments

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 2 years ago

People cheat for a variety of reasons. However the goal of any cheater is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

Cheaters don't want to go through a messy breakup or divorce. They also aren't looking to replace one relationship with another one.

If for example you have an "unhappily married man" and he's given the option of filing for divorce, moving from his house into an apartment, paying alimony/child support, and becoming a "weekend dad" OR finding someone who will cheat with him and feel in the perceived missing gaps in his marriage while allowing him to maintain the status quo in his home, family, and community..... Odds are he would choose to cheat.

Naturally people will say cheating can lead to him losing everything. However cheaters NEVER believe they're going to get caught!

As for the divorce rate being higher it probably has more to do with better career opportunities and higher pay for women. AARP did a survey awhile back which showed that (women) initiated 66% or 2/3rds of all divorces in the U.S. (The more options one has the less crap they'll put up with.)

The women in previous generations were for the most part completely financially dependent on their husbands. Many of them never went to college or worked any job that offered a real career path. The husband was "the bread winner" and the wife was "the homemaker". Even if she were unhappy in her marriage divorce would have been tough on her because even with alimony/child support or living standard would be lowered. In those days divorce also had a stigma and it would be more of a challenge to find someone who wanted an "instant family".

I'm in favor of equality but I do believe it has paved the way for higher divorce rates. Also more and better birth control methods have made it possible for women to have sex without the fear of pregnancy.

With regard to cheating anyone who has ever watched an episode of "Cheaters" or "The Maury Povich Show" AKA "You are NOT the father!" in the U.S. is keenly aware that women cheat just as much as men.

Lesbians cheat too! (It's not about gender)

It takes more courage to end a relationship than it does to cheat on one. Essentially cheating is cowardly act by immature people attempting to "have it all". Both monogamy and cheating are (choices) an individual makes. People do whatever (they) feel is in (their) best interest.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Interesting hub Alexander. You make some very valid points, but I can't really comment further or a may fear for my life...haha. Well written, and food for thought.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

hey i always say live until you die.. or did Frank Sinatra say that? very good controversial article Uban.. voted dangerously good


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

Men and women are going to do what their heart wants. I will agree that when a woman lets herself go , puts on a lot of weight is walking on a dangerous wire, same for the man. I think some like the danger connected with cheating. Interesting topic, that's it, no confession...Hee


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos Author

Hi dashing scorpio, it is past midnight here in Lagos, Nigeria. Just had to reply this quick, I see my good friends: Jodah, Frank and ruby are here already. I will coin their reply in the morning. Pls, sirs and madam. Lol

You are right in some of the points you made, dashingscorpio. However, if a cheater hangs on to his/her primary relationship while kissing and straffing away at the back of his/her man, I doubt if there is anything good he/she is holding onto. Things have changed quite a lot; women have become more independent and would tolerate less of what had been the norm in times past thus the hype in the number of divorce cases.

Looking at it from an African perspective, women are more docile her which leaves the men in control. Divorce rates are low; the men are more in charge so to say.

Men and women are caught in the soiled web called cheating. However, women suffer most because of the hardship that follows as a result of them being dependent on the man (financially). As always, I write to inform and to set matters straight. The ideas provided can serve both genders.

To cheat or be cheated on is vile and should not be tolerated. If you are tired or out-of-love in a relationship, be man or woman enough to call it quit instead of playing the dirty game. I watch 'Cheaters' and I've seen how deceptive man can be. Women are even worse! None is better than the other though. But, the pain and emotional tormoil one passes through in the event of such sweet betrayal is killing.

I pray to meet no such!

Cheating is indeed a cowardly act.

Thanks for your thoughtful response, dashingscorpio.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos Author

To my most loved lovelies: Jodah, Franki and Ruby, am happy to read from you all too. But, why aint you people answering the poll? Hehehe

Afraid? Lol

I won't talk to you trio cos you all skipping the most essentials! Hehehe

And not even like a tip here on the comment box. Oh no! Please someone write something pls... Confession time! Lol


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Alexander, you didn't give "no" as a choice in the poll. I don't think cheating is right (in 99% of circumstances) I have never cheated, or been cheated on. Hope that helps.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

and it's only cheating if you're caught...:)


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos Author

Yeah, I just did justice to that. Your answer helped more than a lot. I do commend you, Sir :).

hehehe, If you aint caught, right? lol and that's being cunny, Frank.

But someday the person will be caught, just hope we won't see it on "Cheaters" lol. Frank, you aint being fair with your answer. It's too economical.

Why, I haven't seen Ruby's reply?! Glad to have you here, Sirs.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

Thandi, i did vote and i just now voted again. I said Sh.. happens. I know, ME bad. Ha


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 2 years ago from Lagos Author

Shit happens, that's true! haha!!

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