Will You Be My Friend

Best Friends, Small Children Holding Hands
Best Friends, Small Children Holding Hands | Source

What is a Friend?

It’s not always easy to be a good friend – and it’s definitely not easy to know when a “good friend” really isn’t that good for you. We’ve all been there – we trusted the wrong person thinking he or she was a friend and worthy of our trust. And perhaps that trusted person really did act like a friend for a good while. But then something changed and you realized the “good friend” was really a wolf in sheep’s wool. This person was learning all your secrets and sharing them with others, honing in on your weaknesses to use them to his or her advantage, and turning your other friends against you by spreading lies. The easiest thing to do in this instance is to run – as fast as you can. Don’t wait for explanations, don’t listen to excuses because they’re probably just more lies, and don’t leave yourself vulnerable for an attack. Run and sever all ties with the toxic friend – it’s important for your own wellbeing. Once you’ve had time to lick your wounds and rebuild your confidence you’ll want to make new friends or repair the friendships that may have been damaged by the toxic ‘other’. Below I’ve listed some ways to know if someone is a true friend and some ways to make sure you are acting as a true friend too.


Do you have a best friend?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

How to Know if Someone Is a True Friend

  • You can go forever without talking and pick up like it was just yesterday that you spoke last
  • He is still there to support you even after you’ve made a poor decision
  • She shows up to hang out even during the difficult parts of life - breakups, losing a job, death in the family. You know, all the times when you really need a friend.
  • She knows all your deep, dark secrets and loves you all that much more for your oddities
  • He understands that sometimes you say mean things out of anger and he always accepts your wholehearted apology
  • She remembers your first pet's name and how sad you were when Fluffy-Bunny-Kins died
  • He gives you a fantastic idea for a project and then gladly sits back while you take the credit
  • She can tell just when you need a hug the most

How You Can Be a True Friend Back

  • Understand you may go forever without talking and still be able to pick up like it was just yesterday you spoke last
  • Support your friend even after she makes a mistake you warned about her about
  • Be there to hang out with your friend even during the difficult times
  • Share your own secrets but always keep those of your friend safe and private
  • Understand when your friend says something mean out of anger and always accept the wholehearted apology afterwards
  • Remember all the trials and tribulations your friend survived and help her recall her stronger moments when she needs to know how awesome she is
  • Always give credit when your friend gives you a fantastic idea for a project (even if he insists that you don't need to. It's just the good-friend-thing to do.)
  • Be attuned to your friend’s feelings to know when he or she needs a hug

Are you a good friend?

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Comments 89 comments

cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

What a sweet, touching hub. It makes me think that I *really* hope I am a true, good friend to all the people in my life. (HUGS)


ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

Very senible and wise hub on good friends. This reminded me of my best friend with whom I stayed in touch with since school. Our friendship lasted for many years because of the above mentioned points in your hub. However, I made some more friends and one or two unfortunately turned out to be just as you mentioned, toxic. I did exactly as you stated - I maintained a considerable distance from them and though hurt for a while, moved on and now happy and discovering amazingly new things and good people in life.

Thanks for SHARING. Useful. Voted up.


albertsj profile image

albertsj 4 years ago from Pittsfield, Ma

This is really well writter Ardie. Very much to the point. Like it! Voting up


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Great hub and right up my alley so of course I would like it. :) I have the feeling you are a great friend to others.


FordeAhern profile image

FordeAhern 4 years ago from Broadford, Co. Limerick. ireland

lovely hub. Thank you,some friends are forever and I am lucky I have a one or two good ones. voted up and awesume


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

My good friend moved up to Washington State. We occasionally e-mail and talk to each other. Like you we carry on as it was just yesterday. Voted up and Beautiful, Joyce.


ChristyWrites profile image

ChristyWrites 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I vote as 'awesome'- you capture well Ardie what it means to be a true friend :)


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

Lovely read Ardie, and I just love the picture. It speaks to my soul and reminds me of being a kid.


Poetic Fool 4 years ago

Nice job, Ardie. I've been fortunate to have a few "true" friends over the years like you've written about here. Unfortunately, I can't say I have one at the moment and I really miss it. When we were young it seemed you could find friends like this easily. As adults it seems to be much harder, especially for men. Your hub brought back fond memories but also emphasized how much I miss having such a friend! Thanks.


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

Great hub... as we pass through life we meet people never knowing for sure what will become of the friendship. Often they may be just for a season, other times they will be there for a long while. I guess I have been lucky in life in many ways as I have found a few. One has been a friend now for going on 35 years.

It takes time to trust Aride and build on each others strengths and yes even the weaknesses. It is hard when we have been hurt. Once trust has been broken then it is time to simply step back.

Hugs from Canada (Actually the Arizona this week)


Crazy Mags profile image

Crazy Mags 4 years ago

This is a great hub. We all need to be reminded from time to time to stop thinking about ourselves and think about others. It is so easy to just expect people to give, give, give to us, but we need to remember to be a good friend and, in turn, we will be blessed with good friends. I like how you talk about running from those that are not true friends. It is ok to give people the benefit of the doubt after a mistake, but too often people fear conflict or change and do not protect themselves from people that are actually just creating drama or even damage in their lives.


jenubouka 4 years ago

A heart felt hub indeed Ardie. A true friend is worth more than a handful of acquaintances. I have been best friends with mine for almost 18 years, and we share all of those attributes you wrote, we don't talk very much, we have very different lives, yet when we do, we seen to pick up right where we left off. We have been through tough times, and incredible humorous adventures. I know when we actually see one another, our old college days will resurface and we will most likely car surf and eat 2 pounds of cheeseburgers, this is what we do..

Beautiful hub, reminds me I should give her a call and harass her.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Beautiful heartfelt words! I have been fortunate to have some very wonderful life long friends. My best friend and I have been besties since 1st grade. We now live 600 miles apart but we stay close. This hub makes me want to give her a call. Well written and fun!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Ardie.....You've made some excellent points. This is a subject that so many people ultimately need to take a long hard look at, BEFORE disaster strikes. There are definite red flags we should not ignore. UP+++


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 4 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Hey Ardie, what a cute hub! You've captured all the important points about being a true friend. I'm pleased to say that I scored 100% in your quiz! YAY! Voted up, beautiful, and sharing with followers :)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Ardie,

This was well- written with a great quiz summarizing key points. Your style is interactive and interesting, without being preachy. Voted UP & UABI- excellent job!


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

My best friend from high school lives in a city near Vancouver, so we are close enough to see each other from time to time, but not everyday-perhaps if I had a driver's licence I would see her more often. My Mom is my best friend and everything in the quiz is true about our relationship too.

This a great article and expresses what I feel myself very clearly but would likely not be allowed to say myself-at least for the time being. Take care.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi cc! Im glad you liked my Hub – I made it as simple as possible because I think some people just need to go back to the basics of friendship and have a refresher (myself included at times!)

Iswaryaa22 :) Im so glad you realized your toxic friends for what they were. It does hurt to move on but eventually you are better off for it. Thanks for reading!

Hi Jacy, Im so glad you liked it!! Thanks for the vote

Hi billybuc, It does go along with your Hub on staying positive – that makes me realize it would be a great addition to my own Hub! Thanks :)

FordeAhern :) And your friends are lucky to have you! Thanks for the votes

Hello dear writer20! Isnt it wonderful and strange how friends can be apart and then come back together like there was never any distance or time? Its beautiful!

Hi Christy :) Thank you for the vote and for your vote of confidence. I only hope I live up to my own points :P

Rebeccamealey! Hello :) Im glad you enjoyed reading! That picture is actually of my youngest two daughters. I caught them holding hands in line for a ride at an amusement park. It was SO cute I was glad to catch it on camera. (They’re only 14 months apart in age so they really are best friends too)

Hello PF! I decided I just can’t call you Poetic Fool because you are no fool in my eyes :) Sometimes the closest friends we have are family. If I am remembering correctly I saw a pic of you with your dad? Yes, that picture just screamed best friends to me. If I am not recalling correctly please forgive my (momentary?) insanity hahah

Hi Rolly its always a pleasure to see you :) You make me realize that perhaps not all people deserve to be called a friend. I am fast to call someone a friend and let them in – and then it stings twice as bad when I realize the person didn’t feel the same way about me. 35 years?! THAT’S a friendship. My best friend and I are close to that. We met when I was 2 and she was 3 – we are still just like family. What are you doing all the way in Arizona?!

Hello Crazy Mags! I almost made a mistake with this Hub in just listing how to know if someone is a true friend. But then, like you mention, I realized it is give AND take. So I had to add the list of reciprocating factors. I feel someone doesn’t deserve a true friend if that person can’t be one back! I tend to avoid drama and give someone the benefit of the doubt way too many times. Im still working on that ;)

Jenubouka – okay I’m sorry – I just can’t take you seriously with that profile pic. You’re a trip girl! Your story about your friend made me say “aaw” and get that dopey smile only a woman can get when she reads something like that hahah

Hi sweet Tammy, since first grade – that’s beyond awesome! But 600 miles is soooo sad. Thank goodness you two can just pick up where you left off and still be best buddies :) because that’s what friends do.

Hello fpherj48 :) Thank you! I think sometimes we, even as adults, forget just what it takes to be a friend once faced with the harsh realities of the grown-up world. Business and even getting deals at the latest sales can be so cut throat. I love going back to the basics every so often to remind myself how simple and beautiful true friendship can really be. Thanks for the vote!

Hiya Cloverleaf! Your name makes me smile this close to St Pat’s Day :) I’m so proud of you for getting 100% on the quiz. Sadly I failed it twice before getting it the third time. Darn it all if I didn’t just want to go dancing and drag my mourning friend with me. Why didn’t I add that as an opton?!

Hello Marcoujor! Thank you so much for being so sweet and just so you :) I’m glad I didn’t come across as preachy – my goodness. I don’t think I’d even be able to read myself like that hahah

Hi Flora :)I love that your mom is your best friend. Mine is mine too! Wow that last sentence was vague haha I’ve read about your Mom and she is quite the impressive character. Just remember sometimes a hug can say more than our words ever could. So if you can’t express your feelings – show them!


savanahl profile image

savanahl 4 years ago

What a great hub with good reminders of what a true friend is. Voted up.


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

This is another reason why you are one of my very most favorite female hubbers. You are truly a blessing to all who know you!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

(tossing off socks heading for shower - work, work, work,) Thanks for the hug and the understanding.


poshcoffeeco profile image

poshcoffeeco 4 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Hey, I scored 100% in your quiz. Does that mean I qualify ? Nice subject for a hub. Was it one particular instance that led you to write it or a number?

Either way it is a great read. Made me feel better anyway.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

So I have to laugh at myself because I just realized I mixed up PF with someone else...sowwy :) I will be your friend!!

Savanahl :) Thank you so much!

zzron, you're too nice! I bet you know just how to be a great friend.

tsmog, Im always here for you buddy ;)

PCC - there was never any doubt in my mind that you would be a true friend. I wrote this because I was thinking the other day and I realized how lucky I am to have so many good people in my life. And this came from the thoughts :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Ardie - no truer words have been spoken! I am so glad I caught up to this one - wouldn't have wanted to miss it. You have some terrific points and we are all taken in by people that are "posers" every now and then. Really sucks too.

I like your idea of friendship! You are genuine bonafide good dudette!


hoteltravel profile image

hoteltravel 4 years ago from Thailand

A friend of mine once said, "I am not so keen on how many friends I have. I feel happy when others call me their friend." Among the listed attributes of a true friend, I like the first one the best. Voted up.


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Hi Ardie - very powerful and wise words. You have been very reflective and have given us a good perspective of what real friends are like and who to stay away from. I've always loved the analogy of the wolf in sheep's clothing. What is even scarier is when the wolf cries wolf - yikes! Fortunately there are usually good people and friends around to say, hey, something isn't right here - look out. As of my post 31% of your poll voters say they do not have a best friend. A very sad reality. I did earn 100% on your quiz - yay! 'Grow a pair' LOL you are too funny. Great hub and excellent tips.


shuck72 profile image

shuck72 4 years ago from Seattle

Good reminders on how to be a good friend. I like the walking away from the toxic people idea. What do you do when they are family though?? hmmmm...


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Good reminder Ardie since in this hustle bustle I might just forget my duties of being a true friend and then crib that she is not good to me...blah!!

Voted up indeed.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

I have no interest in this site anymore. Turns out I was not put on probation *not* for quoting an email, but revealing who my stalker was. So I want to leave right this minute. Bye.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hey RHW! Im glad Im not the only one who can be conned by a sweet mask covering a horrible attitude. For a while I was beginning to think I should just be overly cautious and not even make any new friends after being taken for a ride. But then I realized that just wouldn’t be me. I have to stay true to myself :)

Hoteltravel, that’s the best quote I’ve read in a very, very long time! I feel the same way – I am more concerned with BEING a good friend than HAVING a good friend. Thanks for the vote!!

Howdy missolive – thank you so much for being so sweet. It IS scary when the wolf cries wolf…and a smart person would listen to her friends when they warn her :) A stubborn person has to learn on her own!! Want to hear something weird? I haven’t been on this Hub for some time and the first thing I did was check the results of the poll. I was a little saddened by the fact that 31% of people voted they did not have a best friend. Just for any of the “real” folks out there- Im always ready and willing to be a friend!!

Shuck72 :)Good question – and when you learn the answer to it can you share with me?! Its not nearly so easy to run from a toxic family member. Sometimes you are stuck in the situation and you can simply learn coping skills…not too promising huh?

Ruchira! I think this Hub is very simple, and almost juvenile, but I wanted it to come across that way. Because I think it really IS simple to be a good friend :) You’ll remember your friend when he or she needs it. And that good friend will understand that life gets busy!

Flora – Im so sad to hear that! I hope you will reconsider and stay with us. So many people love you, your poetry, and your Amy stories!!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

One of my dearest friends from High School whom I've not seen since 1982, still stay touch and talk on the phone. It's like the years mean nothing. Nice hub, and I think its juvenile at all!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

You have summed up the important things about being a good friend and I am happy to have a best friend like that. It is so valuable to have a best friend and I feel happy inside every time we talk on the phone or meet in person! I love the way you have written this hub, personal, useful and a bit sweet!

Tina


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Hi Ardie, the perfect picture for your lovely hub - I loved the quiz and am delighted to score 100%!!

True friends are so special and friendships so precious.

Thank you and voted up.


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

Great hub on what makes a good friend.

I like the way you have put this together. The quiz was good too.

I got 100% whoop! I must be a great friend to have? just saying lol

Voted up, useful, interesting and beautiful.

SHARING socially.

Good friends are rare.

They are not judgmental and forgive us when we screw up.

Which we all do from time to time.

We should cherish and nurture our friends.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I really should re-read my comments before posting and leaving the hub. I didn't mean to say : Nice hub, and I think its juvenile at all!

Meant to say: I don't think it's juvenile at all!

I've done this a few times this week on different hubs and had to go back and correct myself. Hope we can still be friends :)


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

Awesome Hub and very true. Hub Voted up and shared on Google+


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

It really makes me wonder about friendship in general.... I have always tried to be a good friend to others and I have had others that I have considered to be good friends as well. However, something always happens that ends up tearing us apart. So - makes me wonder - who wasn't the good friend there.

What a touching hub on friendship... truly makes a person think!


annart profile image

annart 4 years ago from SW England

Great hub, voted up, useful and interesting. I'd like to think I'd do all those things, though I've probably failed some friends in the past. I value my friends greatly; better to have a few good friends than loads of acquaintances. This is presented with humour, honesty and style!


shesacraftymom profile image

shesacraftymom 4 years ago

This is a great hub. I think we all struggle with being there during the downs as well as the ups in friendship. I would like to think I'm all these things, too, but I have been irritated when a friend keeps making bad choices and tend to back away when I feel they're becoming toxic. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad friend or not. I guess we all have to work on ourselves in some way. Voted up!


Rusticliving profile image

Rusticliving 4 years ago from California

This is such a wonderfully written hub Ardie! Best friends are so important in the grand scheme of things. I am fortunate to have a few best friends who love me unconditionally and have been by my side in every situation. Heartfelt, very pure and simple. Voted up and across! Lisa :)


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

I was taking a break from life and enjoying a holiday, looking around a little for property. Did many scrambles high into some of the mountain ranges. The one think I found was I was hardly ever alone. People all around. Arrived back into Canada again on Sunday.

Hugs from Canada now...


Evylyn Rose profile image

Evylyn Rose 4 years ago from Colorado, USA

Awesome hub! I've had some very real friends in life that there a moments when the friendship grew toxic. Distance usually helps and it's amazing how much stronger the friendship becomes after time passes and whatever outside negativity was interfering with the friendship is gone. Wonderful tips for recognizing and being a true friend. :)


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Hello, dear Ardie. This hub is endearing. I have had a few true friends in my life. One of my best girlfriends I haven't seen in 6 years, but we pick up the phone and it's like old times. This is true with several friends I have. Friends come and go but some stay around forever. I think your list is right on target. Way to go, my friend! I voted this UP and all the way across. Sharing, too. Loved it, Ardie!


Kathleen Kerswig 4 years ago

Great hub! I love my friends because they accept me just as I am, warts and all. I am the best friend I can be to them and I take ownership of my behavior when necessary. There is support and compassion between us and I wouldn't trade it for anything. People cannot be perfect so my friends are going to make mistakes sometimes. That's okay - I accept them just they way they are.

Voted up! Thanks for sharing.


BRIAN SLATER profile image

BRIAN SLATER 4 years ago from Nottingham Uk

hi Ardie, my poor old dad used to say that you can count your good friends on one hand. I didn't know at the time what he meant cus I had hundreds, but over time as lifes difficulties crop up you begin to realise just how many are true and real friends you can count on. voted up :)


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

You did a great job of covering the things that make a person a good friend, and the things that mean we should perhaps move on. I've seen each of the things you mentioned, and I've had to drop friends in the past who were destructive. It hurts, but not as much as it hurts if you don't protect yourself.

Great hub - voted up and up!


creativelycc profile image

creativelycc 4 years ago from Maine

Wonderful hub. Having a good friend and being a good friend is priceless. I like how you mentioned how good friends can be apart for a long time and talk like it was just yesterday when they reconnect. That's the way it is for me and my good friend Denise. Thank you!


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Ardie, the first point says it all about a true friend. Gelling instantly as if one has never been disconnected. True friends are very hard to come by and must be treasured.

Very useful & interesting list to evaluate one's friends.

Voted up & useful.


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

I love the hub you wrote "Will You Be My Friend"! However, when I started taking your quiz, I could not control my laughter!!! Your questions and correct and not correct answers were soooooooooooooooo funny!!! Voted up for making me happy first thing this morning :)


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

We have few true friends. Great hub.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi JAS – my best friend and I can go years without talking too – then when we do it all just falls back into place. I have known this particular friend since I was 2. That’s 31 long years. Thanks for the read. (I saw your edit further down and I knew what you meant heheh – I do that lots too!!)

Hello thoughtforce! I saw your HOTD yesterday – congrats to you ;) I agree – one has to have a best friend – someone to share the ups AND the downs. It just makes life easier.

Hi Movie Master :) I love that pic! It’s my two littlest daughters – they’re only 14 months apart in age and they act like best friends…it’s too sweet! I know why you scored perfect on the quiz – you’re a mom!! Moms always know how to be the perfect best friends.

Hi Molometer – thanks for the share you wonderful man, you. Now look at all the beautiful comments I have!! I think you’re a good friend to have, does that count for anything?

Hello Anamika :) Thank you for your sweet words, the vote and the share!

Barbergirl – I bet you both were good friends during the friendship but things happened and pulled you and the friend in different directions. As people change most friendships are bound to change too. Don’t forget your best friend CAN be family or your husband ;)

Hi annart, I agree – I would rather have several acquaintances and a few very close friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friendships that we could’ve behaved better in. The best thing to do is to learn what you didn’t like about yourself in the poor friendship and try to never do it again!! Thanks for reading :)

CraftyMom, I think it’s better to back away from a toxic friendship – especially if your friend keeps making the same poor choices. You can’t let your own life go in order to help that friend over and over again. Then the friendship becomes one sided and you’ll actually be enabling that friend to make poor choices – because then she will know you’ll always be there to help. I know it sounds cruel… But any friend should be okay with you putting yourself first :)

Hi Lisa :) I only have two friends like the ones I write about above – but those two are the BEST friends a girl could ever ask for! Im glad you have good friends because you’re a sweetie and you deserve it. Is your mom one of them?

Hi Rolly! So that explains the new location hahah Glad you’re back home and maybe it isn’t so touristy.

Hello Evelyn Rose :) You’re brilliant! I never thought about taking time away from a toxic friendship and returning to it to see if it’s gotten better. I was all or nothing. I have a situation now that might benefit from that view. Thank you!!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Victoria Lynn :) Your comment is pure beauty. You can go 6 years and then talk like it was no time at all. I don’t think there’s anything as special as a true friendship…it warms the heart!! Thanks for the votes and share.

Hello Kathleen, you sound like a great friend! I think its very important to realize friends ARENT perfect (just like you said) and they will make mistakes just like you and I will make mistakes. A good friend can and will forgive without judging :) Thanks for the votes and share!

Hello Brian, Isn’t it amazing how much we think we know when we are younger only to grow and realize just how much we didn’t have a clue about?! I always thought I was so smart and I called my mom the Crazy Lady (oops sorry – love you Mom!) but now that I am the mom and I am older I get it. Your Dad? Brilliant :)

Amen Marcy! It does hurt and it is hard to drop a friend – especially after you’ve let yourself get so close to that person. BUT it will only hurt worse later on if you wait. It took me years to learn how to recognize a toxic friend. Now I drop them as soon as I recognize the signs. Thank you for the vote :)

Creativelycc, Priceless! That’s just the word I was looking for. There is no amount of anything that could ruin a great friendship. No amount of time or mistakes. That friend will always be there :)

Hello Rajan :) thanks for the votes. True friends are indeed a very rare and special treasure

Hi Audra! I knew this was a simple Hub so I didn’t want to be too serious about the answers hahah I know most of us know how to act – it’s just a question of whether or not we actually will :P Thanks for the vote. I love making others laugh!!!!

Hello Fiddleman – would you know I played a violin for many years?! :) Yup! Thanks for reading.


Evylyn Rose profile image

Evylyn Rose 4 years ago from Colorado, USA

You're welcome, Ardie. I hope the situation works out! :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Brilliant! You've said all there is to say about friendship, Ardie. I cannot add a period.

Voted up, excellent, and to be pimped promptly :)


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Me too Evylyhn, me too :)(Sorry I spelled the name wrong the first time!!!)

Thanks Martie! I appreciate the shares :) I promise to always try my hardest to be a good friend.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Well i can relate to this i think everyone at one time or another i hope you are not going through this right now.... I wish i could give you a hug.....awesome hub..voted up....debbie


mours sshields 4 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

A lot of truth in this hub!!!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is a lovely hub

I know I have had friends who have turned out not to be a friend at all, fair-weather friends that love you through the good times but no time for you through the bad times.

I don't think I have ever had a friend who has spread lies about me though, that must hurt

I left my best friend in the UK in 1980. We faithfully keep in touch and when I periodically manage to visit the UK it is just like we saw each other the day before.

I have friends in Australia too, 30 years and we pop in and out of each others lives as if we lived next door. Friends like these are treasures, even more so when the friendship continues across the world.

Great hub and voting up


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up and useful. Great tips on friends! Finding a true friend is hard, very hard. My wife is my best friend and has been for years. When you do find that special friend though, it is great. We all need someone to have our backs, help us through the wind and rain.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

Great hub! Unfortunately for some people this kind of friend is hard to find. You have given so much great advice. I have seen lots of this toxicity you speak of recently.


TheLastBabyBoomer profile image

TheLastBabyBoomer 4 years ago from Surprise Arizona

Such great information I want to post this on my daughters FB page. For some reason she is a toxic friend magnet. Thank you


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Aaw thanks Deborah :) I went through this a little bit ago but I am not now. Now I am in the spot where I recognize my true friends for who they are and I am focusing on being a good friend back!! But I always take free hugs

Hello mours sshields, I appreciate the read and the comment!!

Sweet Rosemay! I bet its easy for you to keep friends because you’re just so nice :) The fact that you’ve been able to keep friends for so long and over so many miles speaks volumes about your character.

Thelyricwriter :) I love love LOVE that your wife is your best friend – it doesn’t get much sweeter than that! I agree that friendship makes the hard times easier to live through.

Hi Cindy :) thanks for reading. I hope now that I know what the toxicity is I will be able to better recognize it and not be so impacted by it. Its hard to find this type of friend and I am lucky that I have mine. I would be so lost without her.

Hi TheLastBabyBoomer, it seems like the super sweet people are toxic friend magnets!! I hope she stays safe and keeps her distance. Thanks for the comment.


Tams R profile image

Tams R 4 years ago from Missouri

Very nice hub. It is extraordinarily difficult to find friends. It is easy to find superficial people. Unfortunately I spend my time alone mostly because I don't do well with superficial people.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Aaw thanks for stopping in Tams :) I am afraid I am much like you - I prefer to spend my time either with my daughters or alone. I dont have patience of time for people who aren't true either.


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

I am very lucky to say, I have two very best friends. One from my childhood, and the other friend from when I was a young woman. They have been by my side and never ever turned their backs on me. They accept me just as I am, as much as I accept them. I treasure their friendship so much. Then there are friends that come and go, and "friends" who turn out to be wolf's in a sheep clothing. Great hub!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hello Sannel :) You are so lucky to have TWO best friends - friends you've had for a long time too. I bet those friends are lucky to have you. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Ardie ~ well you describe exactly what happened with me and someone who I thought was my friend (HubPages/Facebook friend)recently.

"And perhaps that trusted person really did act like a friend for a good while. But then something changed and you realized the “good friend” was really a wolf in sheep’s wool. This person was learning all your secrets and sharing them with others, honing in on your weaknesses to use them to his or her advantage, and turning your other friends against you by spreading lies."

Gosh, talk about hitting the nail on the head! Unfortunately, I learned the hard way because I tend to want to trust people first until they give me a reason not to. And even then, I have a hard time believing that people can be so malicious. I am still baffled but finally ran (but not fast enough at first) from the toxic situation. I did learn from it and am much more careful about online friendships.

Other than online friends, I have a best friend who I've known since kindergarten. That's a LOT of years since we just celebrated HER 50th birthday. I have other close friends to this day that I met in junior high school and also at my work more than 20+ years ago. I feel extremely fortunate for these friends who are like my family too.

Thanks for this hub and great reminders on how to be a good friend and keep the relationship strong.

Sharyn


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Deal! I'll be your friend then! You are such a great friend..noone can scape you..!

LORD


Angela Kane profile image

Angela Kane 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

I had a few good friends in school, but not so much now. Good friends are hard to come. I know how to be good friend and what it means to have someone there when you need them.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Sharyn, I know exactly what you mean! I also tend to trust people until they prove that I shouldn’t. However I am learning that perhaps I should make someone prove they’re trustworthy – at least in the online environment. It’s a shame because I feel as though I am not being true to my personality to be paranoid. I think the problem is that you and I would never act in a malicious manner so we have a hard time understanding how and why someone else would act that way. You are so lucky (and so is your friend) to have a friend for that long. It seems to me that once you know someone that long they become more than even family. An extension of you really because that person just knows what you have been through without a word being shared. I have a friend like that :) and we just know. I love it!

Hello Lord, you have no choice but to be my friend – even if you still haven’t posted a music video for me yet ;)

Hello Angela, I don’t have very many real friends right now either. But I would rather have one really good friend than several so-so friends that may not have the best of intentions. It means the world to have someone around when you need a shoulder or an ear.


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

I scored 100! I am a good friend lol. Ardie, this was a really touching Hub. Friendship is such a complicated thing in life and as we grow up we realize who our true friends are. You are a great friend and colleague to me and I appreciated you promoting me during my 30/30 Challenge. If you ever do another 30/30, know that I too will be your friend, and I will support you as you have supported me. You are a great Hubber, Greeter, Person and Friend! Never stop being you!

JSMatthew~


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Aaw JS I KNEW you would score 100 because I KNOW you are a good friend. You are a family man and you place value on being a decent person. And anyone that doubts what I say only has to read your Hubs to know how great you are :) I appreciate the support I get from you daily!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

Voted up, interesting and useful. Isn't it sad that we have to have toxic friends at all?

A good friend is one who, when you go to jail won't be yelling at you about it but will be sitting with you saying, how'd we get into this mess? Kidding of course (about the jail part anyway). I enjoyed this hub.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hiya Tillsontitan, It is indeed very sad that we find these toxic individuals. I mean - if the person doesnt want to be a true friend then why cant he or she just stay away?! LOL I love your explanation of a good friend :) I will remember that next time I am in jail and I look around to see just who is stuck in there with me hahah!!


Brandym2012 profile image

Brandym2012 4 years ago from PA

This is a great hub and very truthful, useful, and factual.


BRIAN SLATER profile image

BRIAN SLATER 4 years ago from Nottingham Uk

just scored 100% so I'm not all bad. A lot of truth spoken in this hub, I can tell your a good friend cus you don't have to try. voted up :)


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Brandym, thank you for such a kind comment.

Hello Brian, I had no doubt you would score a 100! Being your friend comes effortlessly ;) Thanks for the vote.


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

You rock Ardie, I won't be on HubPages as much for a while because of my new truck driving job, can you pass the word to all of our wonderful friends? Thanks.


traslochimilano profile image

traslochimilano 4 years ago from USA

Heart Touchable


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

:) Thanks traslochimilano!!


kelleyward 4 years ago

Wow Ardie this one touched a lot of people! I'm thinking about doing a hub on friendship so I really appreciate this fantastic hub you have here. Voted up and SHared! Take care, Kelley


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

Friends are so special Ardie. Sometimes, even when the signs are there - it is difficult to extricate oneself..

Sadly, all friendships do not evolve equally..

Great hub and great advice, my friend!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Kelley! :) If you do a friendship Hub please let me know so I can add a link here. Thanks for the vote and the share.

Kello ImKarn :) you hit the nail on the head when you said it can be hard to extricate yourself from a toxic friendship. Its a shame when you put a lot into a friendship and the effort isnt returned. Thanks for reading girl.


Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

I prefer to be best friend with men less drama!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Angela :) you are right - men CAN be less drama so long as you can stay just friends!!


photosbecomearts profile image

photosbecomearts 4 years ago from Tampa, Florida, USA

This hubs makes me remember my best friend. It helps me reminisce the old and happy days we had. Sadly, we separate ways because she needs to go to the other State.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi photosbecomearts :) Its good to remember a dear old friend yet sad to remember why you grew apart. I still wonder what my best friends from childhood are doing. But thankfully we can always make new friends!!


Rusticliving profile image

Rusticliving 4 years ago from California

What a very sweet and wonderful hub. I really enjoyed it thoroughly and makes me miss my best friend.I'm so glad you wrote this. ♥ Thumbs up and shared Ardie!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi RL! Im so glad to see you around =) I still say the most important thing in life is a great friend. Thanks for the share.

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