Portrait of a Good Woman: How Do You Measure Up?

The Mother Teresa Model

Photo (edited)  by Paul
Photo (edited) by Paul | Source

How do you measure up to the following portrait of a good woman?

  • A good woman recognizes, appreciates and maximizes the character assets within her.
  • She enjoys being the best she can be, while inspiring other women to be the best of who they are.
  • She believes that she is valuable, and capable of making a valuable contribution to the image of womanhood.
  • She respects men and learns how to work alongside them without feeling like a competitor or a minor. (Consider Mother Teresa's quote below.)

"Why did God make some of us men and others women?

Because a woman's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love."

— Mother Teresa

In the Song of Songs, also known as Song of Solomon, the male lover refers to his beloved as a private garden comprised of “all the finest spices” (4:14) symbolizing among other virtues:

  • purity
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • versatility
  • practicality

Each woman is an exclusive mix, accentuating the flavors and fragrances which are most appropriate for her purpose. It is her responsibility to protect and preserving her unique flavor.

The Song offers some helpful views for our consideration.


(1) Recognize Your Fragrance

Maintain it at all times.

Appreciate Your Own Fragrance

Some are like Nard:  Aromatic and Warm -  Photo by Juan Antonio F. Segal
Some are like Nard: Aromatic and Warm - Photo by Juan Antonio F. Segal | Source

The woman in the Song makes a self-assessment; “My perfume spread its fragrance” (1:12).

In response to her lover’s compliment she declares with confidence, “Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere." (4:16).

How do you discover your strengths—spiritual, moral, academic, social?

  • Listen to people who compliment you on your kindness, humor, inspiration, leadership. intelligence or any other virtue.
  • Make note of what you list when you interview for a job, or when you consider yourself as deserving of a good relationship.
  • Be aware of the qualities which surface when you engage passionately in projects.

When you’re asked, don’t be shy about the skills and habits that make you likeable. They make up your flavor and fragrance. Recognizing your attributes will prevent you from depending on other people for acceptance and discourage you from imitating someone else. It will help you find your niche in your community and empower you to be the woman God designed you to be.


(2) Find Complement Flavors

Don't let yours be overpowered.

In the Song of Songs, the man and the woman share mutual respect. She tells him, “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms” (1:14). Henna is a fragrant shrub popular for marking garden boundaries. They appreciate moral strength and beauty in each other.

If someone does not appreciate your qualities, and does not give you the respect you deserve, step back and wait for a happier blend.

Know what you deserve within your relationships.

  • Do you have zero tolerance for control and abuse(physical, mental,sexual) from a friend or lover?
  • Will you refuse to compromise your standards in exchange for acceptance?
  • Does the other person recognize your individuality as necessary for balance within the relationship?
  • Does the friendship provide peer support instead of peer pressure?

True friendship includes accentuating the good in each other. Relationships which stifle you will rob you of your zest for life and make you bitter. Bitterness will overpower your sweetness, and give you reason to hate yourself. Find friends who accept you and your flavor. When you have mutual respect, you have a pleasant blend.

Remember that in your space, the fragrance of Christ (2 Corinthians 2: 15) and the taste of His flavor (Matthew 5:13) are to be noticeable, never overpowered.


(3) Be the Best You Can Be

You're one of a kind.

Helen Steiner Rice (1900-1981) lost her father to an influenza epidemic when she was 18, and her husband to suicide after three years of marriage. Instead of allowing her virtuous faith to diminish, she forced herself to express it in verse. Today, some of the best lines quoted to comfort grief come from her pen. Her flavor and fragrance still permeate the world.

  • Maintain your essence despite negative situations like heartbreak, ill-health, financial deals gone bad. Get help, if necessary.
  • Let your sense of purpose inspire you to keep positive no matter how the struggles of life threaten to make you bitter.
  • Resist self-defeating attitudes. They can lead to moral detours. They can turn you into a grouchy old woman who make young women fearful to live past forty.

Women who persevere at maintaining their virtues age with the charm that folks admire. Their sugar content keeps them sweet-natured, loving and loveable. Their spice content keeps them spirited, focused, determined to pursue and fulfill their purpose. They are referred to as charming old ladies in their later years. Or as the man says of the woman in the Song, "The young women saw her and called her blessed . . . praised her" (6:9).


(4) Do Personal Evaluations

Check your progress regularly.

Rate Your Self

What do you most appreciate about your womanhood?

See results without voting
  • Can you list your primary virtues? Or do you find it easier to mention your vices?
  • Do you have a sense of purpose? Or are you still wondering why you were born?
  • Do you repeat affirmations for your personal empowerment? Or do you measure your worth by compliments from others, especially from men?
  • Do you encourage mutual respect in your relationships? Or do you tolerate ill-treatment in an effort to keep the peace?

God made you a woman intentionally. He made you with the potential to demonstrate His flavor and fragrance in your roles as daughter, sister, wife and mother. Your feminine characteristics are an asset to your productivity and progress. You can be soft and strong, gentle and godly, womanly and wise.

“Woman was the crowning act of God’s creation.” writes E. G. White. “She was the most beautiful creature that God made.”

The world watches as you go through your struggles and challenges, and if they see you remaining true to who you are, true to the womanhood principles in the Song of Songs, you will be the best example of a good woman that some people know.


© 2012 Dora Isaac Weithers

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Comments 25 comments

ignugent17 profile image

ignugent17 4 years ago

This is inspiring and make a woman strong. Life must go on and not be defeated with all the problems.

Voted up and more!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, ignugent, for the votes and the kind comment which in itself is very motivating.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

I love how you talk about the sanctity of women. Your hub helps me to feel important and worthwhile. I appreciate the reminder that women have a nobel and worthwhile purpose, and that recognizing that helps us to be all that we can be.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Very well said, Denise. Thanks for your input. If we don't recognize us, nobody else will.


Mama Kim 8 profile image

Mama Kim 8 4 years ago

Beautiful hub MsDora. It's definitely an inspiration to all women to be all they can! It's within all of us... we just have to let it happen. Voted up and beautiful.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Mama Kim. Good advice! In other words, let's not sabotage our chances to be all that we can be!


DDE profile image

DDE 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Brilliantly written and explained certainly you have uplifted my spirits thanks


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

DDE, thanks to you also for your affirming comment. Glad to affect you positively. Stay lifted up!


Kawaljit kaur profile image

Kawaljit kaur 4 years ago from JALANDHAR, Punjab (India)

MsDora

Hi

After a long gap I am here on HP. Gone thru this article. In fact, its caption inspired me to read it. A wonderful write up. This is something we most women foreget in the couse of time, our family becomes our only concern. This is there where we loose our innerself. We foreget, what we are. But you introduced me with myself. I have an identity. I have a purpose of my existence. Now, I will introspect and try to bring my inner out. Thanks for being my path tracer. voted up!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Kawaljit, for reading and leaving such an inspiring comment. You make me feel purposeful. True womanhood encourages true womanhood.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 4 years ago

MsDora, Wonderful, inspiring and thought provoking! It is so important to stayed connected to the Lord and His Word!

As you well stated:"Recognizing your attributes will prevent you from depending on other people for acceptance. It will discourage you from imitating someone else. It will help you find your niche in your community. It will empower you to be the woman God designed you to be. It will drive you towards accomplishing what He assigned you to do."

Amen! Thank You for sharing, Peace & Blessings!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

DeBorrah, thanks for your affirmation. Encouragement from you means a whole lot to me. Peace and Blessings to you also.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 4 years ago

MsDora, I am going to link this to my article "Becoming a Strong Woman." God Bless You!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 4 years ago

MsDora, You are so welcome! I have added a link to my, "Becoming a Strong Woman!" God Bless You!


Xenonlit profile image

Xenonlit 4 years ago

I love this hub! It is a joyful celebration of what is is to be a woman. We often get so wrapped up in work and life that we forget to celebrate! Voted up and awesome!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks Xenonlit, for the votes and for your affirmation of celebration. Just remember to celebrate yourself.


c-m-hall profile image

c-m-hall 4 years ago from York, Maine

Inspiring!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Happy that you were inspired C-M. Thanks for encouraging me by letting me know.


Miss Mimi profile image

Miss Mimi 4 years ago from On the road again

This is such a beautiful, positive, affirming hub. I found it really interesting and inspiring the way you used "Song of Songs" to show a woman's strength and confidence; I usually only hear those passages quoted to demonstrate the physicality of love in the Bible. Lovely work!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Miss Mimi. Glad to share positivity and affirmation concerning our womanhood.


ivanmarginal profile image

ivanmarginal 4 years ago from Jakarta

This is all every woman should know about womanhood. Worth a share. Thanks!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

What an encouraging statement, ivanmarginal. Thanks for stopping by.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

What a lovely anology, Ms.Dora. I like the idea of fragrances representing our strengths as women. Also, I appreciate your interpretation of the Songs of Solomon, which is a beautiful love story, yet one which is often overlooked. Thank you for an inspiring hub!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Glad you appreciate my hub, savvy. I wish I could find more people who want to study and learn from the Song of Solomon. I also find it fascinating and inspiring.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

The Song is indeed inspiring, Ms. Dora. Forgive my typos. Yikes!

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