Women Who like Feminine Men
Before starting I should make clear that I'm talking about straight guys who are feminine or effeminate or the more classy sounding word is androgynous. I know that many people associate this with gay men but that is very often wrong.
What do I mean by feminine men? Well, this is best left to each of you to decide for yourselves. It might refer to how they dress and how they carry themselves. For example if they wear feminine clothes or even womens clothes like a cross-dresser. Or it might just be a description of their behavior, such as if they are on the passive side and not afraid to be vulnerable. Then of course, it's down to how much femininity is in them. Are they so feminine that you could mistake them for a woman or are they just a hint girly? All these variations and nuances make a simple 'straight' answer kind of impossible to find.
The Phenomenon of Women liking Feminine Men
In recent years there have been some studies revealing that women prefer feminine men as long term partners. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a mass phenomenon by any means. Just a noticeable push - kind of like the increasing number of long distance relationships.
The reasons are quite obvious: In a time of peace and relative safety there is little need for a strong and protective man in your life. He can't protect you from the common dangers of modern life (accidents and illnesses mostly) and, statistically, men are in fact more affected by those dangers than women. Logic would dictate that women should start taking on more of a protective role and I believe we're seeing some of that happen right now but that's another topic.
The other reason is not so obvious: Intimacy and emotional connection. Those things are what a long term relationship is made of and they're hard to achieve with the old-fashioned rugged type.
What about Evolution?
People say we're genetically programmed to go for masculine men. If anything, we're programmed to go for partners that are most likely to produce successful children with us. In the past that may have been masculine men, but today it is not. So many people say now that it's still in our genes and won't go away anytime soon even if society has changed. The problem with that is that it's mostly just a guess. Just because women are often attracted to masculine men doesn't mean it's a genetic trait. It could, and probably is, mostly social.
Let me give you an example: Money. Today the best protection and guarantee for health and safety is having a stable source of money. This has not always been the case. But it has been like this for many centuries or even a few millennia. However that isn't long enough to significantly change our genetic make up. Yet, money is one of the key factors in women's attraction to men. Please note that I'm talking about broad statistics here and not you and me individually.
But, in the old days, there wasn't enough food and too much danger from rivals for money to be the reliable safety net that it is today. The saying "money can buy everything" is mostly true today but it wasn't in ancient history. If you weren't strong and powerful, then whatever money or valuables you had were most likely just taken away from you by those who are strong.
But women learned to 'switch' from seeking physically strong men to financially strong men very quickly from an evolutionary perspective. Too quick if you ask me. Our genes couldn't have changed so quickly to adapt to such a drastic change. So, for this reason I believe that attraction is mostly given by the circumstances we grow up in. Whatever teaches us at a young age that men should be, that makes up what we look for when we reach fertility.
That is not to say our genes have no influence. Of course they do and that explains why physically strong men are still the fantasy of many women. But they aren't as significant as the circumstantially learned attraction.
What about Me?
I make no secret of the fact that I like feminine men. As I wrote before, I even love them to wear women's clothes once in a while. But I also like masculinity. Though it is a strictly physical attraction. I love muscles. I just love them. Not the big bulky ones but the athletic type seriously get my heart pounding. Actually I love everything about the male body - the only exception being body hair and facial hair. A little on the arms and legs is fine but if it gets too much I get turned off.
I also love feminine traits in a guy's behavior. I love to see some vulnerability and in this sense I also like to see the physically delicate type. I know that contradicts how I like muscles but that's just the way I am. That physically delicate and vulnerable type of man gives me a sort of protective instinct. I just want to hold him tight and keep him safe from the big bad world. I never decided to be that way, it's just what comes up in response to what I see around me.
Dating Feminine Men
We've all heard these rules about dating and how you should behave, not to come on too strong, not to seem desperate or anything like that. All this is different with feminine men. I'm not saying that it's the other way around and that you should behave like a man who's looking for a woman. I'm just saying that there are no rules anymore. In some cases you need to approach him and in others you don't. I know that isn't much help but if it's any consolation, they don't know what rules to play by either. You're just going to have to feel your way into every new person you meet and see what makes them tick.
More by this Author
The idea of worshiping women and lifting them on a pedestal higher than anything else in humanity is certainly not new. Many men seem to gravitate towards thinking of women as something divine that they must worship and...
Being a woman or being a man used to mean that you had a certain code of behavior that you had to follow especially when interacting with the other sex. It meant that you had a particular set of responsibilities, a list...
Sensitive or submissive men are very different from normal guys in their behavior. Many of the dating rules don’t apply to them at all and much of what you thought you knew about men won't work when dating...