Should I Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Or a Working Mom? The Great Mom Debate!

Work or Stay at Home? Not a 'piece-a-cake' kind of question to answer!

Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home Mom

It is a debate nowadays that heats up quickly and has everyone pointing fingers and throwing accusations. A debate that has the power to hurt people no matter what side of it they may be on. And the big debate is this: Should I be a working mom? or should I stay home?

Some of us actually have no choice so there really is no question either way. But for the rest of us who can actually choose what to do, I would like to present some information on why we should give up this debate and learn to support eachother instead.

Now I know there are a lot of working moms out there who think that their stay at home peers are getting off easily. After all, working moms have been there, they know what its like to stay at home, and they believe that because they are working AND doing the parent thing, that they have it worse and that stay at home moms should stop complaining. True? Maybe not all women feel this way, but i know some of you do, so for those of you who have an opinion...read on!

But first... on to stay at home moms! Sometimes the most opinionated of all and often the most hurtful. Laying blame on working mothers for letting someone else raise their children, and thereby insinuating that these mothers love their children less. Very hurtful! True? Once again, not all mothers, but I do know a couple.

I once saw on Oprah this very debate and it was vicious to say the least. I was actually embarrassed for a lot of those women because they were so blind to one anothers lives. If we could possibly dig a little deeper than the surface of what we see, maybe we would come to appreciate what that mother and her particular life, whether it be working or stay-at-home, contributes to our own, this debate could be shut down for good and we could all get on with the business of living.

Let me explain what I mean. First of all, just so you know, I have done both in my 7 years of parenting so don't think I'm not talking from at least a little bit of experience. Anyways, on with the explanation.

This year I decided to join the OPP (organisation parents-plus). It's a volunteer board at our school that runs fund-raisers for outings, new books, parties, recognition days (teachers, janitors, directors, etc) and repairs old and new books, prepares the first day of school activities and christmas shows. And there is a whole lot more that I haven't named here.

At first I thought, no problem, I can do this. But I soon came to realize the committment I had made was more responsibility than I had originally imagined, and also demanded much more of my time. And though at times I gripe about it and wonder how I thought I could manage it with a baby, each time an event is successful and I see the smiling faces of hundreds of children, I am extremely thankful that I found the time to contribute. These are my children after all, and this is their school.

Most of the women on the board who give the most of themselves and are at every function and taking on executive positions for every project are the stay-at-home moms. They give of themselves freely and expect no pay in return. And they do this all for our children to have better schools, and to have a better experience in school. If we didn't have stay-at-home moms, i think our schools would pay the price. and that would translate into our children paying the price. So kudos to you moms who give your all in volunteer work. We need you and we appreciate you.

And to all the stay-at-home moms! Working mothers are playing a big part in your life too! Some day you will probably return to work. Guess whose keeping the seat warm for you? Those mothers remind the world that we will not fit into a stereotype. We are mothers and we love that job, but we can do more and do it well too.

All of this translates into one thing...there is a season for everything.

We all play a role here. Just play it instead of bitching about someone elses and I think we'll all get along just fine!

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Comments 2 comments

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Agreed.  There is a season for everything.

Welcome to Hubpages and to other stay at home Moms who have done their work outside of the home.


New 2011 Mom profile image

New 2011 Mom 5 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

I wasn't a stay at home mother at first so I see the points of both stay-at-home and nonstay-at-home. With certain situations, like mine, I believe there is a good reason for choosing whichever you choose. Many moms hate to have their children raised by others, and with me I was like that, but I found out a short while later I would have missed my daughter rolling for the first time, cooing for the first time, and if I kept on working I may even miss when she crawled for the first time (she has not gotten to the crawling part yet but soon she will be). So I am very happy I stayed home. On the other hand the financial state my fiance and I are in is not one I wanted at all, and it is because I became a stay-at-home mom. Yes there are ways to work around schedules and what not, but with his and my schedule it would have been VERY hard. He works nights and has college at night, whereas I have college in the morning and I would have had to work all day after college, even for part-time. I'm one of those few mothers though that is trying to find ways online or through a company to work from home at least, so I can at least try to help as much as possible.

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