Wounds...


My dearest dear, how can you do this thing?

This is my heart you tear with your sharp claws.

I’d only just begun to heal and here you are once more;

As recklessly and cruelly as before.

Ah yes, I will admit, I told you it was yours,

But is this the way to treat this precious device?

It is precious to me… perhaps it is not to you.

The blood it pumps around my living corpse

Is the fluid that bleeds for you each time you strike.

When you drive your cruel nails;

Your vicious teeth; and worst, your sharp tongue

Into my all too tender flesh.

Source

Oh bitter words, that spring from your sweet mouth.

That mouth that rested once so sweetly on my own,

That mouth that called me Wonderful and drew me close

To your sweet self, with promises of everlasting joy.

Source

And why, when you lean so heavily

On the blade that enters my tortured shell,

Do I see the tears start from your eyes so surely

As the red liquid that gushes from my flesh?

Those crystal drops from your sweet dark eyes,

Mixing with the turgid juice that surges from my wounds.

Source

But still your hand and arms and shoulders drive

That brutal sword between my ribs to reach my heart.

Ad still the venom from your young red lips

Spills its acid rivers in my tormented ear.

And still your lovely eyes peer through a blood haze into my soul,

And peek and pry for the lowering of my defences.

My reason and my mind seek refuge in tortured tears.

Your hatred of me triumphs at my despair; my agony.

Source

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Comments 78 comments

Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Good Morning Ian,

I enjoyed seeing your post today and as always written with your wonderful flare for words..Such a heart breaking write, full of emotions. The words really touched me..A couple of us challenged ourselves to write a scorned and sad tale..would you mind if I linked this..I think it would fit nicely..Thank you..

So happy to see you today..

Hugs,

Sunnie


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

Wow! I think you will win the brokened hearted prize with this one Twightlight Lawns! No ifs ands or buts about it. Regards, snakeslane


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

I think I will try this challenge, I just happen to have a heart break poem handy.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Of course, Sunnie. Link it if you wish. I would be honoured. I'm glad you appreciated the poem.

Big hugs to you too, my friend

Ian


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for your comment, snakeslane. From a poet like you, that is even more gratefully received.

Don't forget to sign up for Google Chrome, as I suggested on Mckbirds's hub. The SPELLCHECK is really good.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

Had to laugh Twilight Lawns, I see you are getting ads for Wound care. On mine I'm getting ads for Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't think google gets poetry. Really sorry about the spelling meltdown with your name here, will try to do better.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ian:

"Ian-Dorking Clark"?

Yesterday I used your expression (you don't own it, of course, but still... I got it from you) - "BUGGER OFF!"

Oh, it is SO BRITISH! was the response. Of course, it is, of course, it is, of course, it is. This is the whole point.

Ian, I really want to know (Oh, the British one!) why your writing tends to get some violent notes?

Drowning unsuspecting victims?

Blood and torment? Flying bricks?

I was expecting anything from you for a love/erotic poem, but not this.

I had a theme for Roman baths - well, it is another theme for the trip to Italy, and I considered including "a blood bath" reference...

But your poem just pointed it out to me again:

"This is Ian".

I accept it. But tell me why? Why do you like to bleed?


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

P.S. I included your poem in "The Poetic Wave Keeps Rolling" Section.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Oh, I wish I had arrived before Svetlana, now she has you thinking. Thinking of Roman baths, and blood baths, and baths in general. I think I'll just Bugger Off, but before I go I'd like to say that the wounds will heal, you have all eternity. You string words like pearls.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Mike, since it is a poetic expression, it is harder to interpret as Ian said so well in the comment to my "Jumping..."

But if you want to know the truth about claws, bleeding and heartbreaks - we break our own hearts. It is hard to accept... but it is true...

So, Ian writes about himself - the claws are his, no doubt.

And my bloodbaths and Roman baths and all the baths of the Universe in my articles are spun from a humourous perspective.

By the way, I took a bath yesterday just as I threatened to do - but there was NOT enough time despite my estimate and I was late.

Still: JOY, and enJOYment, and?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Actually, snakeslane, I noticed the "wounds" connection. It made me smile too.

My story about Maude and the Pigeons also collected some strange links.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 5 years ago from Wherever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Ian, my favorite wordsmith! I'm feeling it all too clearly!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I don't LIKE to bleed Svetlana, but it appears to be my destiny; my lot.

I think that if I had been brought up in the UK, and much more recently than I was brought up in the sunnier climes of West Australia, I would have been a Goth.

I swing from elation to deep depression several times during the day. I have always maintained that I would never want "to live with me".

I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with my moods, as I am unable to control my mood swings. It would take a saint to do that, and I have yet to find that saint.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

"The Poetic Wave Keeps Rolling"? Hmmm!

Thanks for including it. And yet, Ian Dorking-Clark.

Gradually we strip off all our coverings until we stand naked, Svetlana.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Svetlana, I love "BUGGER OFF". It is so useful. I am sure I heard my dog, Semi, use it on more than one occasion, when someone tried to tell her that she wasn't a Norbury Mudhound, or tried to invade her space.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hello, Candie. I've missed you and your kind comments. Where have you been hiding? And what have you been doing?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

This wound has been lacerated open too many times. It just lies there like an unattractive piece of scar tissue, waiting for the next onslaught.

Thank you for the kind comment concerning the pearls. That was more than kind.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Bloodbaths?

I remember the line from a movie (Quo Vadis) in which Peter Ustinov, playing a deranged Nero:

(Referring to the Roman mob who were baying about something, as they always seemed to be in those movies):

"Oh that they had a single throat, that I should cut it".

If ever there was a pivotal moment that I decided that I decided that I would like to write poetry, that must have been it.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ian:

To me, "Ian Dorking-Clark" is like interpreting poetry.

It is such a small detail, it is under your picture, yet... what I see in it - vulnerability.

I don't want to say that it was exactly the message you were trying to convey, but I want to say that it is how I see it.

VULNERABILITY. Maybe this is THE WOUND and not love or moods or inability to find the one to cope with you as YOU ARE.

But I made no judgement. I simply hold the mirror and let you look in it. This is your phrase, not mine.

But now, reflected, it feels different, doesn't it?

I would probably have removed it.

You said that you are not good at interpreting poetry. I would correct you that we are super duper excellent and beyond in interpreting. But we are absolute ZEROS when it comes to understanding.

[Mike can write a story and everybody gets it but me. I feel stupid, yet I still ask the question. What did you mean? What is was about? And I am happy that he tells me instead of me telling him what he wanted to say.]

A feeling of a poet, his thoughts are hidden behind the words. He plays an instrument, a pianoforte, he composes and we claim understanding. We should claim our own feelings. We should claim seeing own reflections and if we don't recognize ourselves (we don't connect), if it does not speak to us - WE DON'T LIKE IT.

I don't think anybody LIKES to bleed. But there is such thing as "addiction to sweet pain" of love. And it is self-inflicted.

I was bleeding a lot until one moment... when I finally recognized the author. "You are crazy! You are writing your life as a blood bath... You have a choice. Change your perception. Write joy." The author? Myself.

What did you mean by Goth?

Bloodbaths in my case is a humorous reference. Shootings, drownings, strangling were all considered, disposing of subjects by throwing objects - were all considered - but nothing to do with blood or tearing skin and flesh apart.

An example of script editing.

That was my bleeding.

My X: "The only way you can make a living is by pro...tion. Go s..k big black (specifics!) ....."

I was responding, suffering, taking it in...

Today:

My mom: $%$%^%&%^&*#$%^%&*()_)()*(&%$#$#%^$^&%&*&^(*%&*$%#%$^&*(*(&%^$$#@#$%^*()(*&$%$#@$%^&*_)(*&^%$%^&*(*&^%$#@$%^&*()*&^%$#$%^&*()(*^%$#@$%^&*(*&^%$#%^&*()(*&^%$#@$%^&*()*&^%$#@$%^&*(

I was almost caught in a conversation. Believe me, besides Daniel, it is my biggest wound. The relationship with my mother. She will never understand. NEVER. Because she is not trying and she is aware that there is something to understand.

I was almost caught. She left crying.

My dad turned his back to me and as always took her side.

But then I closed my door (I am not seeing my "Flaming Wall, Poppies forever carrying a kiss of Sun) and I am talking to you. I am not a saint, but I'd rather talk to you or Mike or my friends than to this lunacy.

Revision #2:

Instead of being upset (again, and again, and again) - I can accept status quo and understand once and for all that she cannot change and I have to orchestrate my appearances and disappearances. She yells at me. Fine. I withdraw. No words. Nothing.

=====================================================

I remember how you said that most of your poetry was written long ago, that you cannot write and... I think the problem is not your inability, but inspiration or feeling. When you are motivated, you write it fast, don't you?

By now you have demonstrated that it does not take you all that long to write a poem. You have the skill, you have the soul, you have everything, even the bleeding.

Now the cue for Mike: laugh here.

We should start another poetic wave: "My daily joy".

I am claiming the title: "A mystery of joy".


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Ian, this is beautiful. Your descriptions are so very graphic. My daughter visualizes everything and it is beginning to rub off on me. I am visualizing this.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ian, I included my visualization - on my hub next to your poem. If you are curious,...


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

What an amazing, and almost intimidating comment. It was so lovely to read. Another one of those "past midnight in a coffee lounge" with just a few people talking quietly and jazz on a record player (I said “record player” and I meant record player). No CDs and the coffee strong and black.

I really miss those days and realise now that the whole package would have been almost perfect with the addition of these new friends that I have made.

The friends I had then, I have now and they were the best, but I would like them to meet you and Nellie and Mike and Becky and Candie if she behaved herself and stopped wandering off… stop before I reach the end and for get someone.

The nice part is that we could choose what age we were. I would most probably be nineteen, as I have been for most of my life, but others would see it and realise that I was.

Goths? In North London, the people who “are” wear a lot of black and do sort of Gothic things. They act like 1960s French intellectuals (without the intellect) and tattoos and piercings aren’t unknown.

Amy Winehouse, I suppose was a Goth. I wish I’d discovered her before she dies. I really like what I heard since.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

By the way, I meant to add another photograph, by permission of Ian Dorking-Clark, but the sun went in, so watch this space.

I should have delved into the resources if Svetlana, the harbinger of "wickid" photographs to stun all, but she was busy painting the world a happier shade of yellow.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Becky, thank you for your very kind comment.

Do me a favour, and whack your daughter in front of my written stuff and see how she likes it.

See if she can visualise a blonde tart in pink bathers going under for the third time. Ha ha ha!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

She wouldn't have a problem visualizing that. She is disgusted with blondes and hates pink. I believe she sees that every time she goes down to the pool in the summer. She also hates cheerleaders. I can irritate her by doing nothing more than putting on a cheerful voice. I love it.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I think I love her.

I'd like to see her at a "Teen Movie" with all those healthy Jocks and those enthusiastic Cheerleaders.


steve of ian fame profile image

steve of ian fame 5 years ago from Essex

The bitter pain of love and the rate of interest paid on the asset becomes all too clear. Ahh, the withdrawal symptoms of that brand of morphine.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Well after reading all these distracting comments I have forgotten most of your poem except that it was a very deep and emotional write, so need to read again.

I don't think I have seen anyone describe the pain of heartbreak as visually as you have here.

voted up


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Very deep, Steve, but thank you for the comment. I appreciate it more than you could know... or perhaps you could.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Rosemay. You always leave the loveliest and most incisive comments.

I've added a few pictures, not to make light of the situation, but to give a sort of benchmark. I hope you like the change.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

those we love the most can hurt us the most. good thing about the heart is its resillient.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

The new photo gallery does add a little "je ne sais quoi" to your original poem Twilight Lawns. I will follow mckbrdbks lead now and Bugger Off.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Is that right, Nikki? I wonder sometimes. Not your first sentence, which I thoroughly agree with, but the second, dealing with resilience. I'm not so sure of that. Well, not in my case, anyway.

Thank you for your constant support.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Bugger off, if you must, snakeslane, but remember, you are always welcome here... and often.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Ah, Ian. Any comment I might venture now would be anti-climactic. So I'll keep it very simple and tell you I do like your poem, which is visceral; and your illustrations are inspired.

The teddies give me an idea - not teddies but another set of inanimate/animate 3-D characters which have much to say. - Thank you.

Now I'll just bugger off, too . . . . (In search of the buggered off group! Sounds like a lively bunch! ;-) Coffee, anyone?)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for your visit, my dear friend. Nellie, I will smooth my ruffled feathers and report on the little trip to the RMH today.

Still angry(ish).

By the way, I just had a word with the Bears when I came home, very disgruntled, and they were very supportive. So a little less of that "inanimate objects" young lady, or I will set them on you. I threatened Steve with the same, and it worked wonders.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Now, now, friend Ian. Note my language. Never did I call them inanimate objects, not would I/could I. That word was simply a distinguishing one, to modify the "animate 3D characters", which was the rest of the verbiage I used - having in mind some very expressive wooden puppets I might use as illustrations similarly. One can't take these things out of context!

And you must bear in mind that I have a bevy of lively teddies myself, so if yours are to be set on me, they will find I am surrounded and protected by StrawBeary, Ludwig von Bearthoven, and several others, including my London BobbyBear!!

That should quieten your teddie emissary right down!

Steve may not be a believer. But I - - am! :-)

(YES! How 'bout a little smile now and dispel the ruffled feathers totally? I can turn cartwheels or do my water trick, if need be!)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I'm feeling much betterer now. I was just thinking about you because I bought an ananas (this one is too tasty to be a humble pineapple) a few days ago and I've just cut it up and it's perfect. Ii always think of you and your fruit for breakfast when I have a lot of fruit... and of course, YOU are perfect.

But now my fingers and the keyboard are all sticky. How do you suggest I clean it, Nellieanna? A glass of water poured over it? I believe you tried that once.

Ha ha ha!

Oh no! I remember; it was an accident.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Oh - how pleased I am to hear that you're feeling better!

Ah - love the really tasty "Gold Extra Sweet" pineapples - or ananas (what's the plural of that?)! It's so satisfying when they are as yummy as one hopes for when they're cut. How do you cut yours, by the way?

I have a system. (Surprise, surprise! hehe)

I trim off the leaves and use that leaf core to hold the fruit while I peel it, using a strong knife in a slightly rounded motion, so I don't waste too much of the goodies. It's a pretty good work-out for the arms! I'll cut out any remaining 'pineapple eyes' I miss - later. Then slice it, of course. Then comes my secret tool! It is an irreplaceable steel pineapple corer whose circular blade is set in a comfortable handle and has just the right circumference and depth for the cores in slices. I just press the thing down on the center of each slice, twist it a turn, if necessary, and out comes that tough core, leaving a picture-perfect cored slice. When the gadget was new (40 or so years ago, I guess) its little pusher would even eject the core if it stuck in the blade, but that has given way to time. Now if the core sticks in the blade cylinder, I must push it out with an implement. I have my tricks for preventing its sticking too often, however.

If it's a really sweet fruit, I sometimes chew the juices out of these bite-size cores before discarding them. It's almost sweeter than the slices themselves, but of course, is not digestible tissue to be swallowed.

For years, I've looked EVERYWHERE for another of these corers. They were ordinary culinary tools 'way back then. Now all that is being offered are those horrid plastic things which slice off the peel and a lot of the pulp into a remaining straight pineapple cylinder, leaving lots of the delicious fruit in the peel for the trash and rendering it the center, not into slices but into one long pineapple spiral in the process of removing the core in one tube, not to mention juicing the thing all over the cabinet in the process and wasting almost more of the fruit than it retrieves!

As for those sticky fruit fingers - better have a damp washcloth nearby for them BEFORE touching the keys after eating a bite. If you mess up & still get the keys sticky, use a very slightly damp cloth to wipe them. But if you feel that you need help pouring water over the whole thing, - remember, I have ample experience and am your girl for the job! (maybe you're trying to collect insurance on it?) haha.

By the way, on my Mac laptop, I keep a silicone keyboard protector which just fits the keys so well that I'm not even aware it's on there. But if I should doze off and spill my water - at least it won't go straight into the computer before I can rescue it! haha.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I've thrown away the little label, but I am pretty sure it is a "Gold Extra Sweet" pineapple. isn't that amazing. I just cut it in slices with a bread knife and then cube it with the first cuts going around the core and then cutting those slices into cubes.

In out Borough the Council has asked us to recycle as much as we can, so there is a big green box for plastic, tins and glass; a big green box for paper and card; a large "wheelie bin" for landfill, and now, as from two weeks ago, a little black lidded canister inside another larger lidded lockable canister (To prevent foxes from doing what your raccoons do) for food waste.

I love recycling and have always been like that.

I think the food canister things are a little small, as all food goes in potato peel and pineapple skin and tops and and and


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

That IS amazing if your pineapple was a Gold Extra Sweet! Your method of cutting it up sounds efficient, too.

Ah - yes. Recycling is such a good mindset. I miss our garden when we used to compost all our vegetative waste; - and in this household there is a lot of vegetation consumed, so lots of peels and all.

Nature does a number on the waste and turns it into lovely mulch. George built a generous-sized wooden-sided container for it out by the garden, handy to scoop the mulch onto it when it had developed. The container was of spaced planks, with plenty of air circulation, because it needs air circulation to properly compost the peelings and stuff. He would stir it up regularly to get the air through it. He made a simple wire-mesh one at the ranch - just a coil of the mesh did it.

As you say - it all can go in. For years we composted all that for our vegetable gardens. It's equally useful for flower gardens, of course. It replenishes the soil, recycling the old vegetation to nourish the new the way nature likes. Can't put any animal waste in it though, or it spoils it.

Don't I recall that you garden a bit? Perhaps you could fashion a wire mesh compost container and compost your own vegetative waste to enrich the soil. Grass clippings can be added to it for more volume.

Good for you being recycling-minded! You and my mother would have hit it off! (in many ways, I think!)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, I don't garden at all. I hate lawns, unless they belong to someone else and stretch for miles. I have a small garden compared to what you would have, but it is a reasonable size for a London suburban garden. If I have any plants, apart from trees, they are in large terracotta pots and the whole ground is covered with shingle (small 20mm stones) so there is no point in composting.

Because I have been unable to get a decent gardener, right now, it is so overgrown that it is like a jungle. It is similar to Sebastian Venables's garden in ‘Suddenly Last Summer’, Ha ha ha!

Actually, the little food container has a label on it saying meat, bones, vegetable waist, even tea bags… but no plastic. They collect the small food canister once a week. I am wondering what the site might smell like, because the inside is a little bit “rank”. They provide a pack of biodegradable bags which smell funny in themselves, but I think I am going to put the vegetables and stuff straight into the plastic container and then wash it out thoroughly when they’ve collected.

I’ll send, if I can find it, a photo of the garden when I first had it shingled. It looks so nice to my eyes.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

I empathize with your feeling about yard work and admire your solution to grass cutting!

I do love a green yard but am not a yard-keeper person, either, Ian. I've cut grass twice in my life. Once as a teenager with a push-mower. That pretty much cinched it for me; I knew it would not be among my skills. Later when there was a power mower, I gave it a try, but found it was still not my calling! I decided yard work was not woman's work, at least - not this woman's. During that period I did get sucked into gardening. My first husband visualized lines of home-canned vegetables on the pantry shelf and I tried to fulfill it for him. I was a disgustingly willing wife. So we planted a huge garden (it was in Indiana) - even had potatoes! I ended up being the one to tend it, pick it and can the stuff. It was not a bright highlight of a marriage in which there were few good highlights.

Much later, when George and I were married, he was the actual gardener. I helped him with it, but didn't initiate it. He designed a special small-space, large output garden system and it took both of us to harvest all the produce, which we ate as fresh veggies, not canned! http://nellieanna.com/9garden.html I had my herb garden nearby - it was my big herb-growing and using era. That was fun. From the time when George's health worsened, we - and now I - have had a yard person who cuts and trims the yard for $35. It's a quite large yard and I consider it a bargain! There is no garden now; not even clay pots outside, though I have several inside green plants - for the green & the oxygen source!


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

Only you could dramatize the demise of a teddy bear so well Ian. Nice work mate. Take care.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Interesting how the abuser sheds tears of pain while striking you... Only love could breed this variety of hatred, methinks.

Before long, every time I see winnie-the-pooh, I'm going to think of Ian-the-writer. Hopefully the blustery day of this poem will eventually give way to a summer sun.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Beautiful comment, Doug. And thank you for your best wishes. I think I see a rainbow, if not an Indian Summer.

By the way, 'Boat Boy' is haunting me. It's powerful, it's sad, it's harsh, and it's so good.

Best wishes to you (and yours) from me.

Ian


Katy 5 years ago

This is beautiful, glad my mom (Becky Katz) showed it to me. Your attention to detail is completely enthralling.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Katy. thank you for coming to have a look. Your mother has been such a wonderful support over the months I have known her. I really appreciate you coming, and I hope you pop in for more. I'm not always the miserable Old Coot that Becky calls me... Sometimes I'm a miserable Old Bugger.


Katy 5 years ago

Ha ha ha!


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Ian, I've been a tad busy renovating and still have a way to go. Being heart broken is one thing, capturing it on paper, or screen is quite another. I put you in the same category as Saddlerider, Genna East, Randy Behavior, Doug Turner Jr and a few others. A talented mob, who write with forked words, but delightful ones to mentally joust with. Yes you nailed it. Cheers


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Keith. You and I obviously like the same writers. Thank you for putting me among that really talented group. They are amazing, and I feel honoured by the inclusion.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Ian I don't come to visit enough, and like so many other fine writers that have left their marks I would like to leave mine. All artist's and I consider you one of coursem self flagellate from time to time. Being the humble and modest poet I am my flagellation is quite often brought on my lack of words in my arsenal.

My mood swings dictate that unless I impose strict rules on myself my quill will sit idle. I find my blood runs the thickest with my choice of Red Wine that I uncork from it's resting place. As I seek clarity my eyes tear up, my wounds begin to open wider. My Muse bores me with his urgings for me to put the glass down as I scribe of deeper things from the past lives I've lived.

He pours more salt onto my wounds to awaken me from the desk where my head lays upon. I stir and lift my weary self with fresh thoughts, where they come from, I don't know. I see my Muse in the shadows with a grin, how sinful is that?

I loved how you added the Teddies I knew that would stir one of our exquisite poets Nellieanna. She loves hers as you know. I love how she buggered off, yet returned to furnish us all with her vocabulary so gifted and given freely. Oh I love that lady, she is Emily reincarnated for certain, even better I might add.

Ian I pray that your wounds are not self-imposed yet they might be. If not then the other person in your room, I say bugger off to. I to have had my ears burned off with vindictive screaming and yelling for really nothing. I have become deafened since then, my hearing is not as good as it was in younger married years. The knife wounds in my back have healed, the dagger has been buried, yet forgiveness was never given. My silence is present with me always as I survive with many torments and bad memories buried in my soul.

I was thoroughly stirred by your scribe, please forgive me for this rant, I mean no harm, my thoughts of kindness are with you and I hope you stay safe and your wounds heal quickly. For tomorrow is another day, keep writing, it does help keep the demons at bay. Peace my friend.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

What a truly beautiful and eloquently written comment sadlerider. I cannot imagine a more intense and better thought out response.

Thank you.


jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Poetic injustices or justices ... poor pooh , i say . I loved this pot filled with emotional rollercoasters on sharp knive blades, You are a brilliant poet ,and i am honored to be a follower of such a fine wordsmith , Thank you for the read , i voted up all the way across the board , except funny , of course, have a blessed evening:)


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Ian, I see my little girl has been to see you finally. She finally got around to reading one of my hubs and figured out which one I had told her about. Then she went to see Hyphenbirds latest.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 5 years ago from New York

Since I'm coming late to this hub and all its comments I can only add that it is well done and truly evokes sympathy for the poor,deserted writer! Voted up!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Jami, I felt my heart swell reading your very kind comment. It didn't fill with pride, but with heartfelt gratitude.

Thank you for enjoying my scribbling.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for directing her here. I am looking forward to see what she has to offer. Tell he that her mother was such a catalyst for work and I am really grateful to her. You and one or two others really kick-started me... Thank you.

Ian

x


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you tillsontitan. Thank you also for your visit. I hope you find some writing that will entertain you and please you.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Ian, she has written her first hub. It took her days to figure out what it should be about.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I'm going over to snuffle around to see what she has written. Thank you.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 5 years ago from United States

This is such an epic. I had to read it again.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

She was so excited. It is so cute how excited she is getting over this. Thanks for being sweet with her, you old coot. (bugger?)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thanks for stopping by, Tom. I hope, in reading it again, that you enjoyed it.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I think she will do well. The world does not belong just to the Old Coots and Miserable Old Buggers. The world... the writing world... belongs to us own.

( Puts little and index fingers in the air)

Respect!!!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Yes I came back to read again. I do like the photos, they tell a story on their own.

Hope your wounds are healing my friend.

I do not recommend iodine for bathing them which my stepfather always used on our scrubbed knees as chidren. The pain was much worse than the original scrub.


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

This is so beautiful TL.Emotionally-draining, yes, but beautiful nonetheless. So very few have such a gift as yours. God bless you, my friend.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Just stopping in to leave my teddy bear paw prints. I agree with Tom, an epic yes indeed. You stir this poet's heart. I feel every word. Peace to you my brother.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you so much for your kind comments theseus. I appreciate your visit, and have always been happy to see you around.

And thanks for your understanding of my theme.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you saddlerider. Tom is a new follower, and I enjoyed his comment, as I enjoyed yours. Tell your teddy that we humans sometimes suffer more than our Ursine friends, stuffed, of course, and that I welcome you and him any time you both (or separately) wish to visit.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

Umm... clearly you have been offended by my earlier comment here.. I don't understand why you would ignore a compliment (albeit possibly too clumsily put) from someone who promoted your presence to many of those whom you currently consider to be peers? I'll never understand certain human temperaments - it is so fickle at times, so sad. Take care.. sorry my words were not considered worthy of reply,


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Pearldiver, I abjectly apologise for appearing to not have replied to your comment. Believe it or not, I read every comment and comment on everything I read, and at times, I finish what I have written and move on without pressing the Post Comment button.

During the last few weeks, I don’t know if you have noticed that, HP has been a little strange inasmuch as comments and replies have been duplicated.

And looking back, I CAN remember replying to your comment, and thanking you for it, because I specifically referred to the fact that I hadn’t heard from you for a while and that you had been my very first follower.

So whether it was technology, or just some Old Fart (me) who forgot to press the right button, please forgive me and thank you once again for your interest.

Ian


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

Thanks for directing me to this hub, to find Pooh. While I was at it I read your poem.

You certainly know how to choose words. Great poem.

Ann Davis


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Ann Davis, thank you for the visit, and the comment.

I like the poem also, and it means a lot to me how people read and understand it.

I'm happier for that.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 3 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, every one of you, who bothered to read the above, albeit so many years ago.

Your comments, even now, have uplifted me, and filled me with great joy and appreciation.

Much love and gratitude,

Ian


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 3 months ago from Toronto, Canada

Dear Ian:

I think (I feel) that this poem is more relevant now than it was before. Whoever or whatever was tearing you apart then is probably still here only more vicious.

I have read some of your hubs recently and our conversations - "The Well in Pollone" and "Going to Poona", but not this one. To me, it doesn't feel that all our friendship happened so many years ago. All (most ) of us moved on, but I am out of touch and out of sync and out of ink. So, I am back there.

I have tried many things and this year I am taking a year off (I call it "taking a life off") in order to get the balance that I so desperately need. I used to call my hermitage a prison, now I call it a rehabilitation center. If anyone asks me for a meeting I'm not too fond of, I simply say, "Sorry, I'm in rehab now and it's going to take as long as it is going to take".

You said that you would not wish yourself on anyone, but rest assured I am in the same club. A Saint would not cut it for me, I need a Genius who could get the best of what I am to offer (which is nothing) and find a way to deal with the worst that I cannot control (which is greater than infinity)." There are no Saints for me, just as there are no Geniuses.

I hope you find a way to keep this blood-thirsty creature at bay.

Don't be a stranger. It's easier when one shares the pain - we are all pretty much the same.

If you don't like "we are all pretty much the same", cut of "much the same"

We are all pretty.

May be the wrong pill, but it's the thought that works wonders.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 3 months ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Svetlana, you are one special person.

I never come on HP now, because I just can't be bothered. Sometimes I just look at some of the crap that some people write, and sometimes just to annoy some people.

But you... you're one in a million... or even more.

Much love to you my dear friend.

I'm not up to writing much - even quotidian stuff. I've been to Ramsgate (a town in Kent on the coast) today. to eat fish and chips and soak up the sun with special friends - almost family, and although I wasn't driving, it was a two hour journey and all that fresh air and see air has made me happily drowsy.

Even more love

Ian


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 3 months ago from Toronto, Canada

Dearest Ian,

It made me laugh - one in a million - do you realize how crowded it is? In the current population of 7,125 billion - is it 7,125 people? I feel my insignificance rising by the second or is it by the first?

I am joking of course. Lately I spend a lot of time on HubPages, but mostly in the shadows. I don't read much, write even less, but I work on a project that I wanted to do for so long. I don't expect any result whatsoever - that much I learned about myself.

But I have to say that I am grateful for your advice - you said once "Don't delete anything". I'm glad I didn't. Even more so, I'm glad that you didn't, so I could come back and read your work and read the comments. You said "Don't delete" and I said back then, "These comments will get better and more precious with time". I think we both are right.

So, I got back to one of my favourite conversations on Nellieanna's hub "Playing It Again" (prophetic and ironic) - and I laughed and laughed and laughed and congratulated myself with "I am funny after all".

There you mentioned Zarzuela and the Great Inquisitor which is priceless, and now I came across yet another mentioning of Zarzuela on one of my old hubs. You said that the song reminded you of Zarzuela and you suspected that it might be even so.

So, I, (finally!) checked - it's not Zarzuela, it's an old Neapolitan song (or was it written?) - I saw the info in Italian only and being so proficient in it, I can say only one thing (sing):

there are so many singers sing it - three great tenors for one and I even had trouble choosing who does it best (of all other singers), so I will give you the link and you can check some of them

the song

Marechiare

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNqIdwwWgNk

And what made me think/sing of this?

Mare, perhaps, the Sea (in my writing I sent Mike to the seaside, why not get him to Marechiare?)

This link has lyrics in both Italian and English (only it goes line under line), a bit difficult, but if you want to know the words, it's better than nothing. Even though in my book (there is no such book), there is nothing better than nothing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdsp--MCY48

I think this song will be my favourite for a while.

I can make Narcissus sing it. Why not? How very becoming.

Much love,

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