You Can Be Your Wife's "Mr. Hot-Romance" With These 7 Easy Steps

Here YOU are . . .

More Happy 'Hot' Wives . . .

OUR PRETTY BLOND IN THIS PHOTO HAS GOOD REASONS TO SMILE. HER HUBBY KNOWS THE SECRETS OF KEEPING THEIR ROMANCE ALIVE.
OUR PRETTY BLOND IN THIS PHOTO HAS GOOD REASONS TO SMILE. HER HUBBY KNOWS THE SECRETS OF KEEPING THEIR ROMANCE ALIVE.
SULTRY. SEXY. AND HAPPILY MARRIED. NOT 'SHOPPING' FOR A NEW GUY. HER MAN KEEPS HER CONTENT WITH MY SEVEN LOVE SECRETS.
SULTRY. SEXY. AND HAPPILY MARRIED. NOT 'SHOPPING' FOR A NEW GUY. HER MAN KEEPS HER CONTENT WITH MY SEVEN LOVE SECRETS.
THIS LOVELY GAL IS, KATE ANN EDWARDS, HOT WIFE OF KARL EDWARDS, SPRINT CUP DRIVER. KATE IS ALWAYS WITH KARL AT THE RACES. SHE DOESN'T SHARE HIM WITH ANY OTHER GIRL.
THIS LOVELY GAL IS, KATE ANN EDWARDS, HOT WIFE OF KARL EDWARDS, SPRINT CUP DRIVER. KATE IS ALWAYS WITH KARL AT THE RACES. SHE DOESN'T SHARE HIM WITH ANY OTHER GIRL.
THIS IS ALICIA RICHTER, WIFE OF SUPER-ATHLETE, MIKE PIAZZA. ALICIA SMILES A LOT. MIKE IS AN EXPERT AT KEEPING ALICIA CONTENT. HAPPY. AND SECURE.
THIS IS ALICIA RICHTER, WIFE OF SUPER-ATHLETE, MIKE PIAZZA. ALICIA SMILES A LOT. MIKE IS AN EXPERT AT KEEPING ALICIA CONTENT. HAPPY. AND SECURE.
THIS IS NICK SWISHER'S WIFE, DANIELLE GAMBA. WHAT A HOT GIRL. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS GREAT. NICK KEEPS DANIELLE SMILING WITH MY EASY TIPS TO KEEP THE ROMANCE GOING IN THEIR MARRIAGE.
THIS IS NICK SWISHER'S WIFE, DANIELLE GAMBA. WHAT A HOT GIRL. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS GREAT. NICK KEEPS DANIELLE SMILING WITH MY EASY TIPS TO KEEP THE ROMANCE GOING IN THEIR MARRIAGE.
MICHELLE DAMON, JOHNNY DAMON, THE SUPER NLB ATHLETE'S SUPER-HOT WIFE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, YOU KNOW BY NOW, WHY SHE SMILES ALMOST 24/7.
MICHELLE DAMON, JOHNNY DAMON, THE SUPER NLB ATHLETE'S SUPER-HOT WIFE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, YOU KNOW BY NOW, WHY SHE SMILES ALMOST 24/7.

IT'S YOUR CHOICE, GUYS


if you want to maintain the 'fires of passion,' with you and your hot wife. Life is full of choices, men. Remember that.

You pursued her with a fiery vengeance. Keep her wanting and loving you by putting MY SEVEN, EASY TIPS to work for you.



It's FREE! and EASY!

Tell me. What have you got to lose?

today. Successful. Wealthy. Secure . . .

what else could a modern-man dare ask for? You are living the dream. Actually, you ARE the dream. You lettered in all sports in high school, college, and had a successful career in the National Football League. Then out of boredom, you set off like a 'maverick.' Bold. Daring. Confident. In search of a more-challenging career.

You tried several positions. The CEO of an explosives manufacturing company, where you oversaw all the dynamite testing--by volunteering yourself to get near the explosion without any protection. That was not dangerous enough. You then went to the Orient where you studied the mystical. Secret martial-arts with some being so lethal that you were bound to register yourself with the FBI as a dangerous weapon. Still your craving for adventure eat at you. One day you said, "to heck with danger. I will just be a National Geographic photographer. Travel the God-forsaken areas of the earth that not even Sir Edmund Hillary, who conquered Mount Everest, would dare go," so here you are. More successful. Powerful. Handsome. Still in pro-athlete physical shape. The envy of your frat buddies. Craved by hot girls around the globe.

I didn't mention that immediately after college graduation from The University of Southern California, with a Ph.D. in physics and thermonuclear studies, that you 'aced,' as if these subjects were high school biology exams, you married the hottest. Sexiest. Most-beautiful girl on campus. Actually, she proposed to you. And your body. On a steamy night aboard the yacht (your parents gave you for a graduation present), and you said 'yes.' You are not an idiot. You are a man. A man's man. With needs. You could have easily ran for congress. Senate. Even appeared in Gillette (deodorant for men) commercials, but you chose a hectic. Adveture-filled life. Of purpose. Meaning. And making your mark on society.

Okay. Let me back up. After marrying, "Tiffany," the natural-blond, head cheerleader of your class at USC, and before you started your quest for dangerous jobs, your fleshly mortality met you one day when Tiffany hit you with this line, "I wish our sex life was hot as fire. Like, lava from a volcano," she whined. Oh she didn't complain about the lavish gifts you gave her. The diamond bracelets. Cars. Furs. And even the seven-nights-a-week love-making, even when you were exhausted from body-building, she didn't mention your super-passionate-schedule. Thing is. This was how you and her did in high school. And college. I guess even the best places in paradise can become stale.

Thanks to your super-ability to really 'hear,' what a woman is saying. Even your blond-beauty, Tiffany, who still has her cheerleader-perfect figure, you sought out immediately to find out "The Seven Love Secrets That (Made) You Her "Mr. Hot-Romance." In a few days, things were as they once were in the bedroom. Perfect. No suggestions by Tiffany to 'heat things up.' She is once again, a fully-satisfied. Happy as a clam. Content. Hot wife that you are proud to have accompany you to your various charity fundraisers. Award ceremonies where you receive one of your "Citizen Of The Decade" awards. And other bone-chilling social events.

For every man who is reading this hub. You might be wondering, "Ken, just what are the seven love secrets that can make (me) a 'Mr. Hot-Romance,' to my wife?"

I can answer that instantly. You see, and I'm 'telling off,' not all, on our super-buddy in this story, and revealing his treasured-love secrets that has kept him on top of his game. Happy. Relaxed. Stress-free. And still craved by hot girls, married and single alike all across the world. Singapore included.

PERSONAL WARNING:

these Seven Love Secrets may be DEADLY if not used correctly. I woudn't suggest that you single guys use them on your single, hot girlfriends, unless you are ready to make a long-term commitment to her. Say, marry her. Just wanted to keep you from making a serious life-changing mistake.

LOVE SECRET #7

I'm starting with the least-dangerous, and working up to #1 in the Love Secrets that will turn you into a "Mr. Hot-Romance," for your lovely wife. Be unpredictable. No wife wants the same old-same old in the bedroom. Or out of the bedroom. Be spontaneous. Creative. Do this: Tell your lovely wife before you go to work, provided she is a stay-at-home-wife, "hey, sweet hips, be aware that today a 'hot utility man,' man come to check your wiring," this statement alone will start her passion to pumping. You have all day to let her be in suspense. Now for the pay-off. Since you are the boss of your own successful company, you can easily take off whenever you like, so take off at 4 p.m., dress with hard-hat, faded Wrangler jeans, a tool belt, and a clipboard. Wear a white shirt, open to show off your athletic-body. Ring the doorbell. She will answer. The only thing you need to do is wink. Talk low. Sexy. As long as she can stand it. The rest of the evening. And night is yours to enjoy.

LOVE SECRET #6

Keep your lovely wife 'in the dark.' 'Wool pulled over her eyes.' She won't mind. For she knows at the end of each 'love scam,' she will be the one filled with happiness. And satisfaction. On a particular Saturday morning, say to her, "hun, I'm up for playing 'escaped convict in the woods,'" and the look on her face will be worth a million bucks. Since you two have no kids, this will be an easy adventure. Just load up the SUV that you were given by your company as a bonus, with a tent, a little food, two bottles of vintage wine, but no iPads, tablets, (not even a Bufferin) or other electrical devices. When you near your favorite, secluded camping spot, you get out of the vehicle and let her set up camp. Do not tell her when you, as the escaped felon, will sneak into camp. There she is. By the campfire. Lovely. Her blond hair shimmers in the summer moonlight. It's now 8 p.m. You make your move. You have black grease on your face to look like you haven't shaved in days. You 'act' tough. Talk 'tough.' You make her 'obey' your every move that even she doesn't know about. See the excitement? Make her crawl into the tent. And the rest is up to you "Mr. 6750-98755-90."

LOVE SECRET #5

For this one, you need to keep an open mind. It's fun. Easy. And the benefits in the bedroom are amazing. Send your lovely wife to the liquor store for wine. Or some other beverage. While she is gone, you dress up, (from waist down), like a St. Bernard (named Larry, the Love Dog), with a small barrel of brandy around your neck. When she opens the door, what a surprise. She might faint. With that red rose in your mouth, and 'that' look in your eyes, well, I don't have to tell you that it's 'fireworks' in the bedroom tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning. Now if she, wants to tease you, let her feed you the next morning out of a dog dish with your favorite food. You bark quietly. Lick your lips. Wag your tail. And hey, maybe a little 'Saturday morning delight,' instead of golf with your buddies.

LOVE SECRET #4

This love secret is a bit complicated. If you let it. But oh the hot fun you will have with Tiffany that night, or whenever you use this. Take Tiffany to the finest restaurant you can find. In other words, your usual place. While dining on lobster, champagne, and mollusks from Spain, innocently say, "here's cab fare. I'm going home. Take the car and when you get there, see if you can find me," she will light up like a TARGET Christmas tree on sale. It's "Love Hide 'N Seek," and what a time you will have with your wife who is now so excited to be your wife, that you cannot pry her away from you, "Mr. Hot-Romance." You hide in a semi-difficult place. Use bird calls to signal her to your location. The house has to be totally-dark. When she finds you, the sparks will fly. Good thing you renewed your homeowner's insurance with Allstate. Need I explain how this ends?

LOVE SECRET #3

"High School Senior Prom," what a romantic love secret. Did you know that even in today's lax and liberal American society, that this game is never played with consenting adults? What a sad shape the romance area is in our country. But you can't worry about other couple's love troubles, you have a hot wife to keep happy. Do all the steps like you did in high school. Ask, in your sexist voice for her to go with you to the prom. After some mild-resistance, she agrees. Then show up at her parent's house just like you did in high school. (her parents may or may not stay home. You can pay for them a night out. But this is an option.) Ring her doorbell. You are in a cheap tux. She is 'dressed to the nines.' Take her to a quiet place near a running brook, say in a city park. Dance with her while the SUV CD player softly plays her favorite romantic songs, not yours. The night is about her. After the dancing. Then a blanket, midnight picnic with red wine. Appetizers. Just park in a security light. You do not want to have a blanket picnic in total darkness. After the picnic and you say the things that made her your wife, you are free to 'roam he aisles,' so to speak.

LOVE SECRET #2

Are you read for the next-to-the-deadliest love secret? Okay. Since you are always in great shape, this will not be a problem, but I dread it for the guys who forgot (after high school or college) how to stay in shape. This love secret will be hard-labor for them. And to look at this tip, you wouldn't think that it's that hot. Read on. Give your lovely wife about $1,000.000 in one's. Yeah, you know where I'm going. But get this. Have her and her three-best girlfriends 'act' like they are hot office secretaries out for a 'girl's night,' and looking for hot fun. Now you come in, or on the impromptu stage that you have made with plywood. Plastic. And strobe lights from Home Depot. The hot music starts. You, as an added bonus, could ask your best friend, James, to act as the girls' waiter. Bring on the drinks. And more drinks. And you bump. Grind. Writhe her out of her mind. At the key moment, her girlfriends can leave. But your wife stays because she has 'bought you' for the night. What an exciting change of pace. Do you agree, "Donny, the Daredevil Dancer?"

LOVE SECRET #1

This love secret, like I said, is dangerous. It's called "Bedroom Lock Down." Stock your bedroom with water. Alcoholic drinks. Snacks. Sexy wardrobes for you and your wife. And a great-sounding collection of suggestive CD's. From Friday night, at the time of your choosing, you and your wife go into 'bedroom lock down,' and then 'act' as if you two are being held hostage by dangerous terrorists. Do what comes natural. You use as your motivation, "baby, this might be our last weekend, so let's go out in a blaze of adult fun," and then hours. And hours. Of pure passion. By Sunday night, if you do this right, you will need vitamins. A long nap. And more vitamins just to get up for work on Monday. BE CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE GUYS. IT'S LIKE PLAYING WITH NITROGLYCERIN.

Guys, I hope, for your sakes, that some, or all of these love secrets work for you. You do not owe me anything. No thanks. Monetary compensation. Or honors.

This is just by way of looking out for some well-deserving guys who need a break.

"Thank you all, sincerely, for taking time to read this hub."





Isn't this 'hot' wife happy? Because she is

THE LOVELY INGRID VANDELBOSH, WIFE OF SPRINT CUP DRIVER, JEFF GORDON. SEE THE SMILE ON HER FACE? JEFF KNOWS HOW TO KEEP THE FIRES OF PASSION BURNING IN HIS MARRIAGE.
THE LOVELY INGRID VANDELBOSH, WIFE OF SPRINT CUP DRIVER, JEFF GORDON. SEE THE SMILE ON HER FACE? JEFF KNOWS HOW TO KEEP THE FIRES OF PASSION BURNING IN HIS MARRIAGE.

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Comments 19 comments

KatrineDalMonte 4 years ago

This article is incredible! Kenneth, you're a master writer, that was so funny, wonderful! Thanks for posting..best wishes :-)


anonymous 4 years ago

AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said.


toys-everywhere profile image

toys-everywhere 4 years ago from That little rambunctious spot in the back of your mind :)

Sorry, don't know why it came out with anonymous, but that was me :)


Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Kenneth, since you and I are in the same age range, you know a nice dinner at the Red Lobster with cheese biscuits would be good enough for me (wink, wink) to think of any man as Mr. Hot-Romance. Come on, now. You know I don't want to try that hard. Not when it comes to hubby.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Katrine, very nice to see you again. And I sincerely thank you for your sweet comment. And did you realize that MOST or ALL of these tips can work somewhere in our world? I know all of this sounds like humor, and granted, some is, but Id love for some guy to try one of these out on his wife and they fall in-love all over again. I mean that.

And I mean this. THANK YOU, KATRINE. SO MUCH for all you have said and done for me.

Your Life-long friend . . .Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, toys-everywhere...that's cool. Anonymous sounds so James Bond 007-ish..I like it. Thanks for the laugh and the comment and sweet visit. Come back SOON!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Arlene...you are certainly a fine lady. When you said Red Lobster, I knew you had LOTS of class. Im sincere. You can tell a lady by the place she dines. Some old guy told me that one time. Somehow I remembered it. Hey, read these to your hubby and let me know what happens. Okay?

And thank you, DEAR friend, for your sweet comments.

Your friend, KENNETH


Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Kenneth, you are sooooo cute. Yes, I will make a copy of this and put it under hubby's nose as we fight for the last cheese biscuit. Just kidding. We always ask for another serving or two. Snorty, snort snort!


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

You are really a funny writer! Always interesting to see the male mind at work. My guess is the guys wouldn't even care if they read the advice with all those hot babe pictures!! Enjoyable read.vote up


JoshuaDR profile image

JoshuaDR 4 years ago from Charleston, SC

I loved the love secrets... and the pictures. Mike Piazzas wife is hot, maybe even hot enough to convince people he isn't gay.

voted up and funny


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

So funny!! Tongue in cheek and clever--and probably right!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL, great idea, Arlene. And thank YOU for the sweet compliment. I don't get many of those these days. And at my age. But as ESPN's talented sports analyst, Kirk Herbstreit, says in his Dove for men ad, "Im happy in my own skin," and that cheese biscuit...."let" hubby win. He might read these love secrets.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

. . .A billboard-sized THANK YOU . . .

picklesandrufus! You are very-appreciated. Yes, the male mind works better if kept updated with WD-40, Community coffee, Sports Center and some Ribye. They key elements for a healthy male mind. No, Im not about to launch out on another hub, "Secret Ingredients That Make A Man's Mind Work," then I'd be hit with people wanting Playboy artwork, and I don't roll like that. But maybe bucket of KFC, that would be okay.

Thanks so very much.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Joshua . . .thanks, man, for the comment. I do appreciate it. PIAZZA is GAY??!!!! Then pray tell why does this hot chick hang with him? Money? Fame? Please. What has MLB come to?

Thanks, Joshua!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Audrey . . .thank you, good friend, for your comment. And your insight. Yes, tongue-in-cheek is still around. (Sometimes) it's my only hope to be taken seriously. Does this make sense?

Thanks so very much for ALL you have done and said, Audrey.

Your friend, KENNETH


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

You have to be the funniest hubber....I am laughing so hard...love this one..debbie


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Debbie,

you are very SWEET to say that. I appreciate you so much and I try hard to NOT be egotistical in any way. Im so glad that I had something to do with making you laugh. That makes me happy. Again, thank you, my dear friend.

Kenneth


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

Love this great hub. Everything you have said is true! lol


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear carolinemd,

THANK YOU KINDLY for your sweet comments. I always look forward to hearing and reading what YOU say about my hubs. I don't know personally, if all in this is true, but I hope some guy will use and benefit by one. I cannot see "me" being "Larry, The Love Dog," that would get me labelled as a lunatic. LOL.

Come back for a visit anytime.

Kenneth

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