You Don't Find Love, Love Finds You

Let love find you.

(c)Kathy Allen Not to be used without permission. Unless yours is broken, then it's ok.
(c)Kathy Allen Not to be used without permission. Unless yours is broken, then it's ok.

FINDING LOVE

Without love, you're the lonely number one. It's easy for some, it falls in their lap and engulfs their life beginning from the first look to the first date to the decision to make it the final choice to be together - exclusively. For others, regardless of their warmth, beauty, sweet disposition, love evades them like the sun behind a huge grey cloud. Those seems to be the ones who are looking for love.

Love can be such a simple thing. I don't understand why people make it so complicated. There's nothing complicated about true love. It'll find you when you're not looking for it. When you're not waiting for it, when you're not doing anything at all to have it.

Love is a strange yet simplistic phenomenon I've not been able to understand until the past few years. I think after I broke off with my last boyfriend, for the sake of freedom, and realizing his world didn't revolve around me, nor mine around him. It was an intense "like" with almost all the bells and whistles. We'd of been better off not to waste the time and risk passing up the real love of our lives by wasting the time not being just friends. Not friends that have anything more than a conversation about wishing they'd find "the one." Unfortunately I grew bored, he didn't noticed and his heart got broken. Sadly, I wasn't sad for him. Not nice, but we live we learn, and it'll not happen again.

If only young lovers, who are really in it for the lifelong haul, to grow OLD AND GROSS together *smile-laugh* they should recognize and take life seriously so when they part due to a quick attraction that should be passed off as just that. When you ring the cheat bell, it's one that just cannot be un-rung. If someone is the true love in each others lives, my belief is you might see an attraction, but then look back to the one you've already felt the life long love with and never turn away again. If you act on it, the true love that two people would have shared slipped away and there's never going back. Even if you do, you are sadly mistaken.

(C)Kathy Allen Authentic Marriage certificate.  NOT TO BE USED, COPIED DOWNLOADED WITHOUT EXPRESS PERMISSION.
(C)Kathy Allen Authentic Marriage certificate. NOT TO BE USED, COPIED DOWNLOADED WITHOUT EXPRESS PERMISSION.
  • This is truly one hard concept for many to grasp.

Some never realize it until it's too late. Some know it, something unknown to the couple can intervene and put the test of two people's love to an ultimate test. How long are you willing to wait for that person?

You met, you fell deeply in love. Each other was in your every waking thought but something separates you. What do you do? Move on for "all intensive purposes" or wait. That's a decision only you can make of course, and take the circumstance as it comes.

  • TRUE LOVE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU!

I married at 18 and had a child. Divorced a year later. Yes, I was most definitely heart broken, but that feeling quickly ended when I got my second apartment. Just me and my son. We'd moved from a 2 room flat to a 2 bedroom apartment. Little did I know the true love of my life would walk right up to my doorstep.

It happened to us, we were parted. Not by attraction to another but by chance. Reasons aren't important, but what is, is that we could never forget each other. We spent years before the internet came calling past friends neither of us had contact with anymore either. Neither parents either home or had moved. Sadly his grandparents passed away and the house was sold to people, now we know neither of us knew.

Ah, one day fate stepped in and lent it's, ever so handy hand. Just by chance, just as this young boy walked up to my door, he walked back in my life again just as straight forward as he had 30 years ago. Neither of us had found another love that had lasted, neither of us were happy, until the day we reunited and knew no others were with the proverbial bell that couldn't be un-rung. ALL bells were wiped away as clean as the slate we started with.

Love found us.

National Geographic free stock
National Geographic free stock

In closing, view the couple on the porch swing to the right. Knowing nothing about them, I chose this photo of this elderly couple who could have been together a lifetime, and submitted their photo to free stock photos at the National Geographic website. Just as I have submitted many. It could be a couple such as my story, the could be models just for free stock. They might not even know each other. I used the photo, of course, for the illusion of a couple in love from their youth, throughout their midlife years, never having a problem outside of the norm, into their elder years and when their lives we all hope to live to someday lay next to each other in eternity just as my parents are now in Lake View Cemetery in Waterford Michigan.

I remember as my mother was in her final days, I would step outside her hospital bedroom giving them their last minutes alone, my dad saying; I'm right behind you mama, I love you.

I stepped away, tear in my eye, but knowing while their lives may not have been perfect, in theory it was. They met as young people, married, had children, worked and raised a family, gave their children the American dream - a home, toys, bikes, vacations & visits with their families every summer. Saved money for their retirement and were laid to rest besides each other within 7 years almost to the date in November. I have come to believe that just because marriage vows say "In Death Do Us Part" it doesn't necessarily mean that will be true

Love had found them. Love that endured over 50 years, and all that goes with, they didn't "settle" for each other, love had found them, and it was true love.

Please don't sell yourself short.

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Comments 24 comments

What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

What a great story, Kathy. And with a hint of a happy ending. Hope you get it! Let us know what happens after you see each other again.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I know that feeling all to well. Although, I truly do believe that you can love, and you can love again. I too have had my first love... and I have thought about him and thought the "What ifs?" I actually found him about a year ago. He still stops my heart. But I am married and I love my husband as well. It makes life hard; it definitely complicates things. I hope you get your Cinderella ending!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

Ya know Adam, some of the things you said prompted me to write this hub. I've known girls who trick guys to marry them by getting pregnant on purpose, or lying to them, or just all around being deceitful about it. It's SO wrong. I guess you know now why I realized it wasn't so hard to leave my husband. I really thought, what is in the past should stay in the past, the ol' "let sleeping dogs lay" type thing, but it didn't turn out that way, and I realize for some of my younger friends, I just would hate to see them make the mistake of their life. IF I could back up time, I would of waited it out at my mom's. But I think life had some lessons for both of us to learn, and we realize that...NOW sheesh lol :)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

Ya know Stacy, well, thanks first of all, I hope neither of us kack before we get it together. But I REALLY believed I loved my husband, maybe, I guess I did, but I also believed I loved the father of my child.. it was more like "I had your son, it's supposed to be forever" but I realized marriage/family was a joke to him, so when I met this boy, ALL THAT CHANGED. I no longer even had a feeling for him. (other than I wish the greedy bastard paid his child support as it was hard)LOL. This guy was so much better of a dad to my son than his biological father or the guy I married.

He said that he cried himself to sleep for 2 years after, and he'd heard a rumor that if you write your love's name on the wall, you'll surely go back, and it happened. I think we really needed the time to reflect that if it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe.. I loved my husband, but wasn't "IN" love with him! I think there's a difference there. I don't think you can stop love when it's real. Even if it's not the right time.


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

My first love's married now and I still think about her. Might realize I still love her if I think too much into it, so I try not to. There's been others, but as time passed with each one, I realized I didn't really love any of them, so that's where I am right now. Waiting for a girl in Arizona that I actually proposed to twice, and she said yes twice, so I don't know what I'm waiting for in the first place. Am I distancing myself from love? Or am I so subconsciously hung up on that first love, that I'm subconsciously unwilling to make it work with someone else? I don't know. Maybe you can figure it out for me. It's getting a little old staying here in Tennessee and thinking about a girl in Arizona. If I moved down there, would my heart go with me, or would it stay with someone else? Hmm. A lot of questions. Maybe it's better to just leap than to wonder if you still know how to fly.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

There are questions only you can answer Adam. Like, what took you and your first love apart from each other. Why did you ask another to marry you twice, to get a yes twice, but you still are nor married. Maybe think about going to spend more time with the girl in Arizona and see is she is the one who holds your heart, or if you're comparing her to your first love. Maybe your first love is miserable like I was, depending on the circumstance of you two separating. I would have jumped at the chance to leave my husband for my first love. We were too compassionate with each other, where I had no compassion in my marriage. But everyone is different and only you can decide these things. Like I said if I could step back in time I would have waited it out, but I didn't and there's no backing up time. I don't get why you asked this other girl and agreed, but it didn't happen. Think to yourself WHY didn't it actually happen? What stopped it! I'm not asking you, these are things you have to work out. Just don't get a family who won't let me have that intestine. I have a hole penny on that ya know!


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

Hey, you didn't answer any of my questions! lol. I am trying to figure it out by myself, but I'm dumb. And I'm trying to move down to Arizona, but all of my family members are begging me not to. What's a guy to do? Can't please everyone, huh. But the girl in Arizona's the only one I want to be with. So what's keeping me? (I'm asking me, not you. lol) My life here's not complicated, but it sure feels like it is. My lease is up next month. I'm moving to Arizona and I'm taking my heart with me. Fingers crossed at finding a job down there. But that's what I want to do, so I probably shouldn't let anything stop me, huh. That's a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer. :P You're like a shrink. Making me think for myself.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I can answer that.. I can answer that! A guy is to run after the girl, on bareback horse with a suitcase full of iguanas with hearts sewn on the sweaters. Just kidding. Honestly, what keeps you is the comfort of being at home with family and friends nearby. It is a security thing. We just moved to California because that is were my husbands family is from. My family is from Wisconsin. Because we have families in both places, it makes it insanely hard because we are always moving back and forth. There never seems to be any roots that we can plant anywhere. It will be a difficult journey, but if your heart is telling you that she is the one then get out there. It is going to be difficult. I am not going to lie. We went through the same transition by moving out here... only it has been difficult for both of us.

I will also tell you this... you will never truly love someone if you don't let yourself. If this is the girl for you, you will never find out until you get there.

And while you might want to ask family and friends for advice... they can help, but they can't answer the questions. I asked all my family and friends if we should move and they of course said no - unless they are on the receiving side. Then of course they were with it. Ultimately, you have to decide what kind of life you want. If that is in Arizona... make it happen. But don't give up on Hubpages because your all distracted with a girl. That would make a lot of people very sad :(


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

Sounds to me like you've already got it figured out. You'll find a job because that's where you want to be. (Is a transfer with who your with possible?) I'm sure your family are wonderful people, but there comes a time in your life you decide who you're living it for. It's just that they'll miss you, but doesn't mean you won't be back for holidays or they can't come there.

After all, how will you know if you don't try? (Rhetorical question too.. you don't have to answer :P)

Maybe your lease was stopping you! If it's meant to be it will be, and your family wants you to be happy. Even if they'll miss you. Soon they'll look at it like they've gained a daughter not lost a son! :)

Yeah, so since I shrinked ya lol, then let's just call it even on the intestine!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

You're both lucky you have family, so don't forget that! When I asked my mom about moving to the south, she said all I did was take care of everyone but myself, so go take care of ME.

All in all, if you don't do what you think is going to make your life happy, then you'll always wonder. Yeah, and if this girl distracts you from your Superhero family (us)LOL then we'll :( ::snivel:: although we will welcome her with open arms and maybe the two of you can write super funny hubs at least until next year when I can be together with long lost honey! (Cos I plan on him making all the real money lol) haaa... :)


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

Stacy- I actually can't wait to move out of state and be away from family for a while. Don't tell them I said that. I don't ask them if I should move, but they give their opinions anyway, as families do. I love em, but I need some space. I'm a peacock, I have to fly. (Don't know if you've seen the movie The Other Guys. If not, that statement won't make any sense.) But you're right. Some don't move because they're in their comfort zone, but I've spent the last 6 years trying to get as far away from the comfort zone as I possibly can. But I'd be pretty dumb if I didn't run after this girl. Thanks for the feedback.


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

Thanks, Kathy. The good thing about what I do for a living (cutting meat) is that you can pretty much find a job anywhere. But I don't know, I'll have to go and see. I seriously doubt there's a store down there I can transfer to. We're not national, just on the east coast mainly. Our headquarters are in North Carolina, actually. And I don't plan on leaving any of my friends on here when I get married, especially my superhero friends. :P I'll still write and hopefully that's how I'll make my money, if I can ever get my novel published...


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I did see that movie but it has been awhile. I'm a peacock too and I need to fly as well. That is probably why I left when I was 18 and the rest of my sisters all stayed back. I have lived in several different states and it has been a great experience. You are too young to be held back.... Fly peacock fly! ;)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

Well it looks like the Superhero friends agree, the Peacock must fly! :) (I don't think they really fly though, do they??LOL) I wasn't a Peacock, I must have been a Vulture or a Raven because I tend to pick bones clean LOL and like Poe. lol.

I think there are some places to get published Adam, my friend is writing a really good sequel to the Final Destination series, his is better than theirs! I REALLY hope he gets published cos he's really generous and might let me have his flatscreen LOL! I'll ask the links and send it to ya.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 5 years ago from Southern California, USA

I gave up on love a long time ago. At least I did not get duped by that guy who told me he did not have kids. Guess he thinks no one would ever look him up on a social networking site to verify.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

@SweetiPie: Aw, I think you did the right thing, you didn't really just give up, you're just in waiting for it to find you, because IT WILL FIND YOU. I was not looking and had given up! I'm SO GLAD you didn't get duped by someone denying having children! I feel sorry for those kids. That is soooo not fair to do that to them, if they knew it would hurt their little feelings! :( What a mean man! This is one reason in our little club we let TY in. I even gave him an accolade (of our own) :) because he is online while at work, but said he spends his time at home with his child! Those are men one can respect! And to think of it, some women might find children a PLUS to the relationship! Had I still been looking I wouldn't of minded if a man had children because they are so adorable and kids are a blessing to the WORLD. Plus come up with the cutest sayings ever! That old saying "from the mouths of babes" I LOVE IT! They're sometimes brutally honest, which actually helped me once! My friends opened a new club, and their little girl came up to me and whispered in my ear "Kathy, your make up is too white for you, you almost look like a ghost" then she giggled, and I whispered "Thank you so much for whispering that to me, and thank you for telling me the truth because now I know this make up is not a good color for me." So you don't need a man who'd deny his children! But by giving up, Mr. Right could fall right into your arms without you even realizing it! Sorry about my delay in replying. I didn't know the comment was there! Well, like I said before you're SUPER welcome :) to post to the Superhero hub, who knows, maybe Mr. Right might come along and post :) What could be cooler than having a Superhero boyfriend, and one who will make you laugh and have fun! Phooey on negativity, we all have good days, bad days and someone might write a funny hub of a bad day! You know the kind. Alarm clock goes off 3 hours after you're supposed to be at work, then burns the coffee, then wears new shirt inside out, car has flat tire, gets fired, comes home, house is burned down.. oh wait, that might not be funny, but you get my drift. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Howd I miss this one! Thank gosh super hero hubber barbergirl linked me up:)

Kat - what a love story! I'm not too romantic. You know I am a realist! Haha! I like actually looking into your life though. I suppose that makes me a bit of a snoop! Ha! So what happened?

Q - go to Arizona already! If that chick doesn't work out there's lots of other ones there to make her jealous with! Haha! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! I took off and went to Texas as soon as the law allowed (17 is the age of emancipation here)! I got a job at the Kettle! Ye haw! I had a blast and came back home when it got boring. Im so glad I did it despite everything I worried about in advance, it all works out!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

LOL I let ya know how it turned out on your hub.. I didn't have to "misery" him, but he's in misery without me, so it works out! :) at this age after all is said and done, we're going to take the leap of faith. ::sigh:: if I don't strangle him first LOL! (I don't think it's legal to marry a dead person tho) LOL!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh no Kat! And it is very important to remember to marry him BEFORE he's dead or you won't get any of his junk or money!haha! Just kidding!

Don't kill him either or you'll meet your next BF in jail! Lol!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

I hope you mean best friend cos I don't think I'll mean my next boy friend in jail LOL! And Um.. I don't want a "gf" cos I don't go that way LOL!

But ah.. I'll still get all his junk! lol He's an artist and I'm pretty sure his family would give it to me. His mom (strangely enough) likes me! lol!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Tee hee he! Oh glad you'll get his art work! That's sweet cuz you know all artists become popular after they die! Haha! Just kidding!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

I guess either one of us might have it made... I draw strange crazy stuff LOL and he paints pretty realistic wildlife and portraits, so I guess he has to go first so I can reap his rewards, people tend to steal mine off the net LOL and he don't understand the net, he likes to paint what he sees so I don't know if we'll put much of his stuff on here.. maybe at a place we can watermark it. (I think his family is rich anyway lol)


qlcoach profile image

qlcoach 5 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

Yes to the power of Love. Your Hub describes a painful journey with an amazing conclusion: "Love Found Us." For me Love is always here: in special people, oceans, sky, sunlight, rainbows, and even in that glowing ember inside. Sending you peace and golden Light today.....Gary.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America Author

Hi Gary, I'm sorry for the late response. I believe that if it's true love it's magnetic and is going to find the person, but I've learned that a lot of people get trapped, and a lot of them settle and the true love is lost and I find that sad. I wish you the best. -Kat

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