You’re Important to Me: Five Simple Ways to Show You Care about Someone


© 2012 by Aurelio Locsin.

Because your relationships are important to you, you take the time to tell those around you how much you value them. While these verbal expressions are important and necessary, they cannot compare to actions that express the same feelings. The following simple ideas let you add one more layer of appreciation for those you care about. They work between co-workers, friends, relatives and lovers. Each idea works for either gender but alternate “his” and “her” pronouns for the sake of inclusiveness.

Unlock her car door first.

If you’re both taking your car someplace, unlock her car door first, especially during bad weather. This shows that you place her convenience and comfort above your own. Doing this manually at the door, rather than from a distance with a remote, shows that you’re willing to go the extra mile for her. Depending on your relationship, you can also hold the door open, which should be reserved for more chivalrous occasions.

Turn off your cellphone before him.

When you first encounter someone that you’re meeting for an extended period, such as a dinner or business discussion, show him that you’re turning off your cellphone. This signals that he is more important than any phone call from an invisible third party. The action is especially applauded by the generation before cell phones. People who grew up with their phones may find your action a bit strange but will appreciate it anyway.

Clean up after her.

Doing this after she does something for you, like cooking a meal, is expected and unmemorable. Putting her stuff away is more meaningful if you do it after she finishes her favorite activities, such as finishing her gardening, working out with weights or adding a new scrapbook page. This means you appreciate all her activities and all parts of her life, even if they don’t involve you.

Bring him an unexpected treat.

If you go out by yourself for a snack or lunch, bring him back a small food treat, such as a coffee or a cookie, without asking for what he wants. This shows that you remember his preferences and that you’re thinking about him. The gesture is especially appreciated at work because it’s so unexpected. In addition, the coffeine boost may be just what he needs to stay awake until quitting while the snack eliminates hunger pangs at mid-afternoon.

Do something your gender would never do for someone of the opposite gender.

This tip is going to sound sexist but it only proves that men and women have different expectations and behaviors, most likely because of genetics and conditioning.

  • If you’re a woman, accompany the man to his favorite activity such as sporting event or train show. But don’t chatter about your feelings on personal subjects such as your relationship. Instead, try to understand why he enjoys the event, ask questions about it and offer genuine compliments on what you’re seeing.
  • If you’re a man out with a woman, whether it’s for shopping, coffee or dinner, listen to her express her feelings. Don’t offer advice and don’t talk about yourself. Instead, acknowledge her thoughts and ideas, and support her decisions.

This is best used with someone you know very well such as a good friend, a close relative or your significant other. If he or she knows this is not the way you usually operate, the change will be refreshing. But be prepared to answer any questions like “Why are you doing this?” with something simple and heartfelt such as “Because you’re important to me.”

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Comments 47 comments

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina


I completely agree with everything you said in this hub. It is not only important to share but also to care in practical ways. All of the little things add up eventually. My favorite has to be not using a cell phone during a date or meeting. Too many people have become caught up on the cell phone instead of listening and paying attention to who is in front of us. Thank you so much for writing this hub, it was very thoughtful :).

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I love this hub! I'd have a problem with not using my phone, but I'd get over it. I think. Very sweet valid points. I'm glad Alecia shared this hub. I'll send it to a few more ;)

formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles

I love your suggestions, Alocsin. I always keep the door open for the next person, even strangers. I always make eye contact, when I talk. I noticed that people do not do this anymore. Voted up and useful.

Dee42 profile image

Dee42 4 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

Alocsin, how dear is this hub? You are Right-On!! Voted way up for ya.

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad these suggestions resonate with you. If you ever try any of them out, please let me know how it goes.

shin_rocka04 profile image

shin_rocka04 4 years ago from Maryland

Good list. A lot of the times it's the little things done in abundance that can really set a relationship off. Material things are cool, but just genuinely showing respect and showing you care on a real down to the earth level goes a long way.

Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Sometimes the smallest gestures mean the most, especially when they come as a surprise. This hub is worth bookmarking. Great list of ideas - Thanks!

Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

This hub is so lovely. I agree with everything in it except one point. A man can open a woman's car door anytime. It shows he is a gentleman all of the time. Other than this small point you and I disagree on, I think all of your suggestions are beyond helpful. If only all of us would practice them for a week, we'd surely be making our companions and friends feel appreciated. Voted up and so useful.

Dr Kavita Shaikh profile image

Dr Kavita Shaikh 4 years ago from MUSCAT

So true! It takes just the small things and gestures to demonstrate your true feelings for someone. Voted it as awesome. Specially liked the ones about the unexpected treat and cleaning up after her. My hubby does both for me and I can provide proof that it really works (lol)

MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean

Great ideas. In keeping with the last one you mentioned, have a male friend who is eternally impressed by the only woman who ever invited him to dinner at her expense. So I believe.

Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

This is great - I think we should all find ways to show others that we care about them. You're provided a wonderful list. Too often we take them for granted, and assume they know how we feel.

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

I'm glad you found these useful. Thanks for stopping by.

elijagodbaby profile image

elijagodbaby 4 years ago from Nigeria


Nice hub!

Brett.Tesol profile image

Brett.Tesol 4 years ago from Thailand

Some good tips, especially getting out of your gender's comfort zone and the occasional treat.

Thanks for SHARING.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

One of my best friends learned to cook a Chicken Dish I like though he is a Vegetarian and made it for me. I was really surprised and touched by his gesture. This Guy who was my Paying Guest 2 years ago (Now he works in another city 150 kms away from my place in an IT Company) visits me regularly and even stays at my home for a day or two. Whenever he comes, he takes charge of the Kitchen and cooks for me things I like as Cooking is his passion.

Nice Hub, Voted up!

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thank you for reading this hub.

Maddie Ruud profile image

Maddie Ruud 4 years ago from Oakland, CA

What great advice for us all, alocsin. Sometimes it's hard to remember that going a little bit out of your way can make a huge difference for someone else.

davenstan profile image

davenstan 4 years ago

All things my hubby does for me. Great tips...and this article ended up on my facebook feed. Great advice voted up.

cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Chivalry is still alive!! Woohoo!!!! Thank you SO MUCH for writing this. I wish EVERY GUY ON EARTH would read this!! Voted up and SHARING now!!!!

ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada


Excellent look and reminder of the things we should do for those that are important to us! I shall be voting up, sharing, making dinner, and talking to people about this hub while I make it!



OMGirdle profile image

OMGirdle 4 years ago from United States

This was a great hub. In this economy we have to be creative with our relations. My husband prefers his cell phone over me. But that's okay because I prefer my computer over him. We are a great couple :)

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

What a wonderful list. These are very sweet things for a man to write. The little things are so important in life. It is best not to take them for granted. Well done. Bookmarking as a little reminder.

Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Awesome, beautiful, useful, interesting, and voted up! How sweet, alocsin! Wonderful ideas. My boyfriend nearly always opens the car door for me, and always goes to my side first when the weather is bad, especially. It really is the little things that make my heart jump! Thanks for this wonderful hub!

AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

These are beautiful ideas, alocsin. The steps that you describe would be very helpful in a relationship. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Very nice, my friend. It's the little things that show you really care. I love this and thank you. Voted up!

Ruby H Rose profile image

Ruby H Rose 4 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

They are simply profound. Awesome hub. Very sweet. Thanks! Perfect for Valentine's Day!

ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

A sweet and thoughtful hub on how to care a little more for one's boyfriend or girlfriend on any occasion other than Valentine's day! Your advice is wise and sensible for both men and women. Rated it useful and beautiful. Vote up.

Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

These nice gestures would go a long way towards building and maintaining wonderful relationships. Not only voting this up and useful but SHARING with my followers as well. Thanks!

vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

You're so right! It's the little things that are important: showing interest in what's important to your signficant other, spending time together. Voted up and awesome!

Jessi10 profile image

Jessi10 4 years ago from Lancaster, CA

This is so touching! Yup! Right on the dot! Its the little things that make the most difference to someone.. Voted up!

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thank you all for taking the time to visit this hub. I was afraid for a moment that this "touchy-feely" hub was getting lost among all my moneymaking ones. Your comments tell me that this is just as worthwhile to write.

Rusti Mccollum profile image

Rusti Mccollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

I want that! It looks so good! :)

penlady profile image

penlady 4 years ago from Sacramento, CA

This list is just as good as a relationship book. Excellent advice. The world could use more compassionate men and women, and your list is a great start to getting them. Voted up and awesome.

algarveview profile image

algarveview 4 years ago from Algarve, Portugal

Hello, Alocsin, just loved it, very thoughtful, after all actions speak louder than words and we all can use a little nice gesture to brighten up our day and if we do it for others we love, their smile also brightens up our day. Voted up and beautiful! Sharing! Have a good day!

kelleyward 4 years ago

This is so sweet Alocsin! Voted up, shared, and also stealing a few tips....Take care, Kelley

Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

I really needed to read this today! You truly have mentioned some of the sweet, tender things that are so easy to do, but they send a big message. Thanks!

DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

These are all very sweet and perfect ideas. And no difficult to do. For some people thsy come naturally. and some need a little help.

Just recently a male friend of mine was texting me and he mentioned alfet a few minutes taht he was out with his new girlfriend! I immediately demanded that he stop texting and pay attention to her. I know he stopped texting me. I hope he put that phone away. boys!

Great advice. Nicely presented :)

rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Alocsin, these are beautiful ways to show you care for the person you are with.

Voted up, beautiful and shared.

sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

ALocsin, this is great advice. It is the little things we show that matters. Even though we have key fobs to unlock our car doors, I always like it when my husband unlocks the door and opens it for me. I think it is important for couples to try to do things that the other person likes, too. It keeps it interesting, and it gives you insight (even after years of being together) into what the other person really likes.

Great hub! Votes and shared! :-)

H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 4 years ago from Lone Star State

You are so right, these things are some of the simplest ways to show that you care- and often the ones that we stop doing- or begin complaining about doing.... Thanks for the great hub post!

mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Good advice for everyone! We all know to do these things; we just forget sometimes, so thanks for the reminder.

I voted this UP, etc.etc. and I will certainly share.

rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

These are really cool tips for being nice to your mate. I love the one about bringing back unexpected surprises!

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I love those simple gestures from my hubby. He used to bring me those pink snowball sweets on occasion and it was like getting roses! Now that we have changed our eating habits, we enjoy other things like making tea for each other. Great post and voted up.

Mommiegee profile image

Mommiegee 4 years ago from Alabama

Fantastic hub!

Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 4 years ago from Minnesota

Great ideas here! My hubby usually mows the lawn and it's a really big task. When I want to give him a little surprise and a break from the chore, I'll trudge out and mow before he gets home from work. He always enjoys having the time off that he's put aside to mow the lawn, it's a nice little action that speaks loudly ;)

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

What a great idea, Pinkchi18.

Ruby H Rose profile image

Ruby H Rose 4 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

Such a wonderful way to share the love, great hub!

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