You're A Newlywed! Why Is Adjusting So Difficult?

What to do after "I do"

 

Marriage-what so many of us dream of, yet when it become a reality, we are shocked that it isn't what we thought it would be-at all.

Now I'm not saying marriage isn't wonderful!  What I am saying is that a few of the rules have changed, so there are some adjustments to make!

A lot of newlyweds struggle when they are just married, and some marriages don't even make it past two years.  But yours can, and with learning a few of the "rules", you can make it a much smoother journey.

  1. Marriage is for keeps.  Don't continue to think that it is just like dating, and that if you don't get along, you can just break up.  If you don't allow divorce to even be an option, you will handle your differences better while your union grows.
  2. It is not okay to run home to Daddy and Mommy if you have a huge argument.  Abuse is one thing, but an argument is something totally different.  When you tell your parents how bad your are hurt because of your spouse's actions or words, they will build up resentments, while you have forgiven your spouse, and have forgotten the arguments and moved on.
  3. It is not acceptable to have close relationships with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends.  If friends tell you that you are in a bad relationship with your spouse because he/she doesn't want you talking to your ex, you need to remember that you are now married, and what is important to your spouse needs to be important to you. 

These are just a few of the basics, but are very important. 

I'd like to add just a few tips as well.

  1. If you have married friends that are giving you marital advice, and single friends who are giving you marital advice, listen to the married friends.  Single people who haven't yet been married don't realize that the rules have changed.  Opening your ears to friends who have been happily married for several years is a much wiser choice. 
  2. Don't talk bad about your spouse to your friends.  Spouse bashing is so un-cool, and even though you are talking about your spouse, and what he or she does that drives you crazy, you aren't making yourself look all that great either.
  3. Remember that before he/she was your spouse, he/she most likely was your best friend.  Don't begin to treat them differently because you are married.  Treat them with respect and care, just like you did before you were married.

Even though it takes some adjusting to get used to being married, when handled with care, it is absolutely worth the effort to make your union incredible! 

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