Am I Really in Love? Take the Quiz!

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Love - Like an Itching in My Heart

The Diversities of Love

Love is diverse in that there are many forms of it. Maternal love, compassionate, companionate, romantic, passionate, affectionate and unconditional are several. For the purpose of this article I am focusing on romantic love.

Falling in love is being broken down to a science.

The most recent research indicates that falling in love might just be a little more complicated and sophisticated than we know. Previous thought was that love was constructed like angular triangles, each leg depending on the others. Noted psychologist Robert Sternberg argued that love was built through components of intimacy, commitment and passion.

Zick Rubin tried to explain love in terms of psychometrics based on attachment, caring and intimacy.

In a more recent study conducted at Syracuse University the results indicated that falling in love takes less than a second. In fact, they nailed it down to 1/5 of a second. Unseen forces that react without our thought processes occur in radical speeds, affecting twelve known areas of the brain without our full consent or knowledge.

Love Notes

  • People tend to fall in love with faces that are similar to their own features.
  • People tend to fall in love with people who have similar backgrounds.
  • The biggest love predictor is proximity.
  • The best places to fall in love and flirt are coffee shops, schools, colleges and malls.
  • Men are more prone to like women that have some vulnerability.

Love Psychology

Love has been one of the biggest unsolved mysteries to date. Why we experience it, where it comes from and how long it lasts are just a few questions no one can seem to answer. Love is unpredictable and highly dependent upon future action and reactions that occur over time.

If it's possible to fall in love in a fraction of a second then is it possible to fall out of love so quickly?

Some theorists will argue that love is based on pheromones and biological functions that occur due to the olfactory system. It involves increases and decreases in levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine.

Research has indicated lower levels of serotonin in people who report being new lovers. This is also something that is seen in people with O.C.D. This may explain why couples who are in love have obsessive thoughts about each other.

Chemistry of Love

Falling in love is a lot like playing pin ball. You pull back the spring loaded plunger and launch the ball. Forces beyond your control work in rapid fire succession lighting up brain centers and circuit boards, setting off bells and whistles in a second split 5 ways.

The newest theories are based on chemistry and hormones, pheromones and other intangibles. It depends upon a lot of things happening at the right time and having the right person to receive the signals in the same space where you live in and out of your head. Misfires and TILT's can occur.

Falling in love is dependent upon a continuation of good luck and hormones. It isn't a linear occurrence that can be controlled and formed if done in a more correct way.

In one research study, female participants were required to smell stinky, dirty, sweaty men's t-shirts. They chose which sweaty scent they preferred and it proved that the females chose men who had immune systems that were most different from their own. This might even bolster Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest.

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

You Might Be In Love If.....

  • You think of your lover obsessively
  • You drop everything when it's their number on caller I.D.
  • You ignore your friends more to spend time with him/her.
  • You find yourself doodling their name on scrap paper.
  • You catch yourself smiling when you think about them.
  • You have pet names for each other.
  • Every sentence begins with: Well (insert S.O. name) said....(and you believe it all too!)
  • Your heart rate increases when they enter the room.
  • Your palms sweat when you are near them.
  • If the S.O. reminds you of a parent.
  • You constantly find yourself wondering what they are doing.
  • You get jealous when you least expect it.
  • You realize your thoughts aren't always rational.
  • You apply superhuman qualities to your mate.
  • You think your love is more sacred and special than all other relationships in history.
  • You think you might throw yourself in front of a speeding train to save your S.O.
  • You would give them all of your money and your trust.

I Would Do Anything for Love - Meatloaf

The Dark Side of Love

With all good things, there always seems to be an evil counterpart. People who are rejected or jilted lovers tend to murder at the highest rates. Could the brain chemistry, altered, cause people to be temporarily insane causing them to be more likely to commit homicide against the object of their affection?

If love is like an addiction and it can't be fed, could that be the reason people seem to commit atrocious crimes of passion? Stories rooted in the earliest history were planted with seeds of jealous lovers who killed and died for love.

If you would do anything for love, you might want to have a chemical panel ordered at your physicians office, sometimes you shouldn't. A temporary imbalance might set you on the path of self destruction. If you find yourself obsessed with a love interest who does not return your affection it might be possible you need to feed your addiction with something else that decreases serotonin or increases dopamine.

Why love may or may not be returned is still an unsolved mystery. If the apple of your eye does not return your affection don't trip on it. It's just the way the ball bounces. There are millions of people looking for love and your connection is out there, waiting for you to enter the zone of it's proximity.

Keep it Real


"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we are not alone." ~ Orson Welles

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Comments 48 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

It's hopeless, Kelly! I'm in love and there is no turning back! You tried to slip me up on a couple of those questions, but I passed with flying colors. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Ha! Heck Bill - I could have told you that already! I know how tight you and the King are! haha Thank you so much:)


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

You might not bet on a horse that has about 33 to 1 odds against winning. But we blindly bet on this dangerous emotion called "Love" bringing us a lifetime of happiness.

To be avoided or handled with extreme caution is my experience.

Bob


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Bob! You know that's true. Just because you are "in it" doesn't mean you will stay in it. A move in the wrong direction and you might be rolling down the drain hole! lol


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Yep, I passed with 100% too. You are one to give those tests no doubt. Ha. Kelly, you kept it "real" again. This is an excellent write, and it is very obvious how much research you have put into this hub. I just loved that first video, so sweet. But all were awesome.

This is very thought-provoking and insightful. I did notice in that first little "Love Notes" section, on the last point, where is says "like" there as opposed to love, which made me chuckle a little, as I am sure they do.

Thanks for researching the darker or unstable side of those whose love efforts are rejected . . . yikes, a bit scary to say the least, but I do not doubt it one bit, if there is one whose mind is already just obsessed or not healthy. There is that age-old question, which has always baffled me when I see it, and that is, why would someone be so distraught when they know without a doubt the other really does not love or even care? I do not get that aspect of it.

Seriously though, I believe true love is more than an emotion, as it is real, pure, unconditional and never keeps a record of wrongs, just paraphrasing what He tells us in His word about what real love is and what it is not.

Voted Way up and sharing.

Excellent job here, Kelly.

In His Love, Faith Reaper


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Ain't love grande :) I took your quiz and had to answer the last one wrong as I wanted to see what it said and have to ask you are people really laughing behind my back. Just to let you know I would have scored 100 :) After 25+ years I'm happy to to say Yes I'm still in Love :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Faith! Thank you once again for your great comments:). I so appreciate that!

I do think true love is a changing, ongoing thing. I think if two people make a great team and handle challenges together - you can have a romantic love that lasts forever. I have been with my husband for 20 years and we ARE still in love! He does make me giggle still, laugh and smile all the time. Shoot I know he's crazy about me:) LOL

It's work to keep things smooth sometimes, bein' patient and also admitting you aren't perfect. Which means they get to be imperfect as well. I think that the challenges lie in getting thru the hard parts together. People always want to blame each other when things go wrong. You just have to fix things and help each other. Then you stay in love....in my experience:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

It can be Susan and I KNOW you believe it too :). It's hard sometimes but I think the best things are worth working for. We all have great days and not so great days but I wouldn't want to spend them alone.

My friend's mom used to tell us a story when we were young girls. She'd talk about a lady who constantly complained about how her husband always left whiskers in the sink. No matter what she said, he left a mess for her to deal with.

The lady's husband left her griping butt and then the lady would wake up every morning wishing those whiskers were in the sink. Hmmm! Makes ya think huh? Lol lol. I did never ever complain about hair in the sink...I always thought of that story!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Yep! You speak the truth. And silly me, knowing better. I put myself through it again when I redated my wife. And 5 years after she passed with my new wife. Am I stupid?


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Oh carp, I failed the quiz. Bob is in trouble again. My gout was hurting so bad the other day I threatened to kick him out of the house just because he was getting on my last nerve. I swear if I could trade Bob for a gout cure, I would do it in a heart beat.

Then I read on my gout medication that starting it up again after having been off of it for a while will actually CAUSE flare ups for a few months! I'm doomed. The first thing I'm buying in Mexico is the old medicine I used to take which actually worked. The FDA has banned generic sales of colchicine. The brand name price is $164.00 for 30 pills! Unbelievable.

Oh, but I guess I'm still in love with Bob anyway because I let him stay. 20 years ago I probably would have passed the dang quiz.

harummmph


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

I scored 66% on the test. It says that I'm conflicted. Lol. This is a very interesting hub.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Mhatter - I know - the things we do for love, right? It makes us do dumb things! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Aw shucks Lela - I just made all that quiz crap up! Dave scored a 44! Lmao! It made ya laugh though, I'll bet. And I know darn good and well Bob is your main squeeze! Lol.

It's weird after you've been together for so long, I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Ha! love doc - don't worry gorgeous - I made that quiz up all by myself so it doesn't mean much:) hahahaha


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

True, I couldn't do very well without Bob. He's the only person I've ever been able to live with for over 20 years.

I know the quiz was made up because all the 'right' answers were 'B'. hahaha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Haha well it was the first time I used the quiz thing! I'd been wanting to since I saw you use it and couldn't figure out how! How do ya like that?!

Yeah I pretended to give Dave the quiz...only I didn't tell him first I wrote the Q's - about halfway thru he busted a gut and said, "hold on! Did you make these up?" Bahahaha


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

That is awesome! I'm confused these days. hahaha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You know better than everyone that love is a confusing state of mind:) lol


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 4 years ago from Jamaica

I did the quiz and the result as I expected, I know I am not in love but I do love him very much. and he is my best friend so no competition there....lol


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Kelly......Fun hub, all about romantic love. I'm not even gonna go there.....I'd never shut up.....but I would like to say, that story about the lady with the whiskers in her sink? I LOVE it. Picky picky picky....is a terrible way to live.

The true meaning of "Love," is caring so much about someone, we're willing to go on the RIDE of a lifetime.....up, down, in, out, over, under.....just like a roller coaster...it can be thrilling and fun....or frightening and upsetting.....but, you're in it together, and that's the BEST part!..........UP+++


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

I like your analogy, Kelly, that being in love is a lot like playing pinball. It may not be the most scientific explanation but it does make a lot of sense. We have learned so much about the workings of the mind but we still do not know what precisely makes us fall in love. We just have to make the best choices and then cooperate to make our lives together work. Brava for your thorough research and conclusions.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well some people never learn the difference or how to love - you've got that in the bag too Cardisa:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks Paula! I know you know all about this stuff and bet you do have a loving relationship with Mr. Effer:) hahaha.

I'm so glad my friends mom always told us that story...I do not complain about stuff if I consider the alternative sometimes. Messy husband or no messy husband? HA!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Drbj! Thanks for noticing my pinball ref:). I do see it like that...sometimes the ball goes where we want it - everything lights up and we get extra game time. Other times...the ball just goes right down the drain hole. Try again! All the while, we don't really have a lot of choice about what happens in the brain during that time...it's fast and it can be love or ??

I am certainly glad after I kissed so many toatds I did find my prince and he sure plays a mean pinball:) hahaha


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

This was a fun hub and I took the quiz even though I am married. 77%...not too good. Oh well, I still love him although my love symptoms are not so pronounced anymore.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

What a fun hub! I did well on the quiz, but i am smitten. Love the video too. :)


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Haha...I used to answer all these kinds of quiz as a teen ;) time sure flies, but feels like yesterday.

Voted up as interesting n useful for youth of today


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

This is a very interesting hub and I loved it. I took the quiz and scored 77 which says I am conflicted. I guess that's why I've been married more than once. Voted up and sharing and pinning.


sweetie1 profile image

sweetie1 4 years ago from India

Love is two edge sword. It can give you unknown pleasure as well as unknown miseries. When in love even the barren of lands looks grassy and usually we all make lots of mistakes in love. Yes rejection can bring out dark side in love like you said murder but there are news in India that latest fad is throwing acid on face of lover so he or she can not show his/her face to anyone ever again. Also suicide rate is maximum in failed lovers. Very nicely written hub. Voting it up and interesting.


keyasia hawes profile image

keyasia hawes 4 years ago

im in love with my boyfriend weve been together for 2 months but he lives in a different country


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Fascinating read! I was SO.IN.LOVE when I married my hubby and it lasted for two years - and I'm talking about that 'intoxication' you feel and the butterflies I got when I'd look at him. 11 years later, I love my hubby so much and there are moments where I still feel that "in love" feeling, but man oh man, I was seriously "high on love" for a very long time. hehehe.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

hahaha Im in love and I make...decisions with my...body parts?! Kelly HA! Yes, I admit - Im in loooooooooove with myself. Now Im off to take your narcissist and psychopath quiz :) Another great one, girl.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hahaha Glimmer Twin - my husband scored a 44% and I think it is because he gets nervous thinking there is a wrong answer and he will mess up - I was asking the questions, you know? haha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Tammy! Thanks - I am pretty smitten too but you know I made all that shit up as usual:) hahaha


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Ruchira! Oh come on! I know you are in love with your husband! But I sure thank you for reading and commenting anyhow:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

haha Paul - don't sweat it man - I made up all that crap! Based on three choices: Your spouse, your mom or your best friend? Priorities say it all! lol Thanks so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi sweetie - you sure are a sweetie! Thanks so much.

I do remember that case of the guy who threw acid or something in his lover's face. Horrible! I just wonder what goes wrong or gets disconnected in someone's head to make them do such a thing! Or even think of it? Obviously the wiring has gone bad!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi keyasia hawes - wow - 2 months could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship! Let me know how it turns out!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Me too Cyndi! Me too. It helped through those moments where you have an argument and you have to look at them and remind yourself of every little thing you do love? hahaha lmao I knew you were smitten totally, you reek of it even online:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

haha! Hi Ardie! LMAO I so made all that crap up knowing you would love that quiz! hahahahahaha I love that you got that response - that was one of the better ones:) Thank you ever so much for always enjoying a laugh with me!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 3 years ago from Ohio

Lots of interesting info. My friends always know I am in love before I do, because of how I talk about the person. I wish they were as good at telling if I am "out of love" because I am in one of those points where it is time to run or stick it out. Might be down to a coin flip!... Love your little quiz, so fun!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so mucha DanaTeresa - I think the people closest too us often realize those things before we do:) Maybe it's the blushing that gives it away? lol


bizna profile image

bizna 3 years ago from NAIROBI - KENYA

Your quiz is fun. Am infatuated and in love, Quite interesting.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you bizna....I always have a great time writing hubs...I just choose a topic that's fun and go with it!


Stina Caxe profile image

Stina Caxe 3 years ago from Virginia

As I was taking the quiz i thought about how different my answers would have been in past relationships. i guess this time it really is love1 Great work! :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Awesome Stina Caxe! It is funny to think about past relationships and present? ha! Oh my goodness, my answers would have been radically different as well! haha WOW!

Thanks so much for the comment!


rainpurplewine profile image

rainpurplewine 3 years ago from ATLANTA,Ga

Love is a drug and I'm addicted! lol great hub!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You are right rainpurplewine....I'm still in love with my husband and its been like 20 years together now...gives me goose bumps just thinking about it! Aw!! Thanks so much!!

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