I'm sorry to hear about this. I know this can be very traumatic. The best advice I can give you is that whatever it is he needs, it's up to him to find it. As women, we naturally analyze and try to help. We can even be maternal to our men. When it hits this point, it's best to take care of yourself. One of my childhood friends said to me during her divorce, "if he's thinking of him and I'm thinking of him, who's thinking of me?" I laughed and have heard her words in my head over and over again.
It's so true. It sounds like your doing what the rest of us have done. Your normal and there's nothing wrong with you. I've found the best way to handle this is by setting up goals for yourself. Try not to think about what he needs. That's what he's doing. Find things for you. I went a step further and decided to splurge on an hour massage. Let me tell you, no matter what happens, you will never regret that massage!
Putting yourself first isn't just good for you, it's good for him too. It's important to be strong for yourself so that if he does need you (I'm sure you'll be there) you can have the strength you and he both need. If for any reason he does not come back, at least you have set the stage for yourself to move on.
I wish you the best of luck and truly hope you at least get that massage! :)