The will to follow my dreams, along with my freedom FROM responsibility.
I was thrown out into the streets before I was even out of high school. It took me a long time to get solid ground under my feet, and to get my life moving in the right direction. As soon as I got a car, I chose to get a second job, along with a second car, in the case that I would lose either one, I would have a backup, and never end up on the streets again.
I felt that it was important to build myself a life that was better than the one I grew up in. It was my only focus for years, because I didn't have anyone to turn to for advice on how to run my life.
Once I had gained the things I felt, a solid life should have, I also found myself with a ton of responsibility. One of them is my 5 year old daughter. Despite the fact that she lives with her mom across town, I still have to take her into consideration, with every major decision that I make. I didn't realize how much responsibility I actually had, until she was born.
Now when I look back to the days, when everything that I owned, fit into a small duffel bag...
In those days, I considered that life to be a curse, when really, it was a blessing! At that point in time, I had all of my life in front of me. I could live anywhere I wanted to, be anything I wanted to be. I didn't see it that way then, but I do now.
I gave up the desire to follow my dreams when, the desire to have the life that I never did growing up, took over my thoughts. The reality of the path I chose to take, combined with the responsibilities, that came along with it, have all but made my desire to follow my dreams disappear.
Now my daughter is the most important thing to me in life, and my new desire, is to encourage her to follow her dreams!