When I was 14 my worst fear was that I would lose my mom. MY dad died when i was 8 and I am an only child. So I was deathly afraid something would happen to my mom. I worried if she drove anywhere, or was even a minute late coming home from the store.
Five days after my 15th birthday, she died from cancer, alone in a hospital in Los Angeles. I was devastated and really felt like I would die from the pain. I was terrified to be alone in the world.
The only thing that helped was prayer and the memories of when my dad died. I knew the pain would ebb and flow being unbearable at times, then lessening for a short time before building again.
And passing time helped dull the pain. That was 45 years ago, and it still hurts but there has been a lot of joy in my life since then. I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful healthy children and grandchildren. So wading through the pain was well worth it.