Maybe you have not met the right guy yet.
One cannot negotiate love or affection. (These things are given freely.)
You can't manufacture "chemistry". (It's either there or it's not)
My point is love is not completely a mental decision. You choose your own friends, lovers, and spouse. However the person you fall in love with will touch you on an emotional level. To love someone they must first earn your trust. Awhile back I wrote a hub listing the 6 main ingredients of a happy relationship.
Best of luck!