If you love your children, I believe that you have to agree, as parents to put every animosity aside and agree to tell the children that adult business is going to change the way things have been. They need to hear from each of their parents that they are not responsible for what has happened and they need to be told that they are still loved. If you can't be mature enough to put your feelings in check and do this - get help. Your children's decisions on how they will conduct their lives are formed by the way their emotions are impacted from day one.
Don't justify the impact by denying it. Do damage control and don't stop doing it.