"To thine own self be true." The meaning of Polonius' words to his son have not changed since Shakespeare wrote them about 400 years ago. It is hard sometimes not to get caught up in others' insecurities, particularly if they are your partner, wife etc. However, when you are aware or "in tune" with yourself it is easier to see them for what they are - black holes. Just like a real black hole they will suck you in if you're not watching or listening carefully. I'm currently reading a book by Dr Russ Harris - "The Happiness Trap", that could help with the head talk.