Is this fight worth fighting?

1. 59

   Melissa-Chavezposted 12 years ago

   Is this fight worth fighting?
   
   Im fighting to be myself and this has cost me many valuable things in like such as friends and family... it hurts me to see them go but I dont feel right compromising who I am to make them or society happy.. I feel its worth it sometimes, but I do get lonely. I just wanted another opinion on this.. Is this worth fighting?

   replyreport
2. 60

   HattieMattieMaeposted 12 years ago

   I think most of us feel this way at times, but it is worth it, it just takes time meeting others that are at the same level of healing as you, and that you can grow and learn with. I think sometimes there is lessons you are learning at the moment while you are waiting for the new ones to walk into your life. Usually about loving yourself and being indepedent, learning to relate to yourself in a healthy way first, and others after this in due time!

   replyreport
3. 78

   Inspired to writeposted 12 years ago

   Hi Mellisa
   Where to start? We are all independent creatures, but we are brought up & thus, nurtured by others, )parents teachers society experiences( so we take on our experiences through this personal media of life's experiences.
   As you mature, you may feel the need to 'break away' break the mould that has been surrounding you for eternity, since childhood.
   You want to become 'unique' now you feel it is your time, at last, & believe me, you will upset others along the way, especially some close to you.
   In summary, only you know what you want, what is best for YOU, & after all, this is your life, &, you must please YOU before you can please anyone else, along the way, you will be drawn to new kinds of like minded folk as yourself.
   Go for it girl for you are a unique creature. AND DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, FEEL GUILTY FOR THIS GIFT YOU HAVE DISCOVERED
   Hope this helps. Regards Dale

   replyreport
4. 56

   Felixedet2000posted 12 years ago

   well i will like to counsel you first, while it is advisable for you not to oppress yourself in other to impress others, bear it in mind that life is all about giving and taking.
   
   And most times you have to do more of the giving as in, giving in who you are to bring out the   best from others, this process can take many forms and dimensions, it all depends on what we are talking about.
   
   The onus lies on you, don't be too high handed with ''i don't care attitude'', that doesn't mean you have to allow yourself to be mess around by others either. Try to draw a line between you and others. Don't be too tough or too soft. just keep on being who you are with sense of decency.

   replyreport
5. 60

   Jonesy0311posted 12 years ago

   I would say yes, if only for your own personal happiness. You can lose a lot of yourself trying to please others. Do whatever it takes to be happy with youself when you are old and grey, looking in the mirror.

   replyreport
6. 0

   theSimpleOneposted 12 years ago

   This is a strange problem actually. Your fight is not a fight at all, it's self development. Opposing change is a sign of intolerance. A friend is a definition of a person you know and who shares common interest, supporting what you do and helping you achieve your goals or protect from threats. If your friends left you because of your changes, it's probably just the loss of common ground on which you stood, which converted you into strangers, however this is normal, a different personality requires different qualities in people and it's good if they just left you and moved one, because trying to cling to a person, not enjoying his current appearance/personality is just a set back, delaying the inevitable separation.
   
   Family will always be family. Have your respect for them, yet still just be who you are without a compromise, because this is essential for you to feel happy, following others will just suppress your inner needs and that won't be good for your emotional stability & health, this is what they should understand.
   
   You just really need to meet new people, that are similar to you, then you won't feel lonely or fighting anyone.
   
   I congratulate your initiative,
   Best of luck & be happy

   replyreport
7. 60

   engelfantasydreamposted 12 years ago

   what are you fighting for???..is this about gender issue??..in making a vital decision in life...where you have to risk it all and put up a good fight...you know you make the good decision when you are happy about the outcome or end result of your decision..but it you not happy about it or a lot of other factors or people around you get affected by it and you started to doubt whether this is the right or wrong decision like you are experiencing now..then you don't make the right decision....cos if you do you find at peace with yourself by making such decision...i wish you all the best...i know in life it is a "PURSUIT/QUEST OF HAPPINESS" more so "PERSONAL HAPPINESS"..but try to weigh things..cos i think in the process of one person PURSUIT of HAPPINEss..we should not step on others shoes or comprise the happiness of other people too...if you think your not doing wrong in this PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS...PURSUE IT..GOD BLESS YOU..PRAY AND US FOR A SIGN..wish you all the best in life..goodluck:)

   replyreport
8. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   There really is no need to "fight" to be yourself. Real friends and family accept you as you are. However there are times when some people view suggestions or ideas from others as a threat or some covert effort to "change them" when in fact they might be sharing some valued wisdom.
   You want to be careful that you don't go off on everyone who has an idea you don't embrace. Sometimes in order to get what (we want) we have to compromise or make sure there is something in it for the other person. It's important not to let your (ego) rule your life. Not everyone is out "get you" or "change you". Life is a personal journey and ultitmately you are responsible for your own happiness. When a person "compromises" it's usually because it's in (their best) interest for the long-term. No one gets everything they want and none of us are the center of the universe. As long as you are not required to change your "core being" in order to be accepted by another person it can't hurt to at least examine the possibility that you might be in the wrong about some things.
   When people are "in love" they usually care whether or not their mate is happy. At some point the discussion becomes less about "you" and "me", and more about "us" and "we".

   replyreport
9. 0

   reeltaulkposted 12 years ago

   You Gooo.....with the one life that you have been given to live you have made a good choice.  Especially if it is in the name of being productive.  There is nothing like taking a stand that gives you the results you have always longed for but was scared to take.  Quiet is as kept you will find so much in your "lonely down time".  Entertaining Loniliness confirms another level of "success"  I'll leave that one for you to figure out!

   replyreport
10. 58

    ivanhoe1963posted 12 years ago

    What makes us a person? Our identity is who we are but it is also who others see us as. If you are struggling even fighting to be yourself, you need to find who you really are, then and only then can you share who you are with the world at large, else you will be constantly fighting to be yourself, constantly redefining who you are every time people come into your life. This is how you can tell who you are; no energy is lost in being yourself, for being who you are is natural, normal we don't pretend, we don't change we don't excuse it. It is simply profoundly our essence. The greatest people in the world who transform that which is around us are simply those who know absolutely who they are and where they are going!

    replyreport
11. 59

    juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

    If they can't handle the real you then "Girl, you are too much of a woman for them" and as for lonely, sometime it is better to be lonely, then be with the wrong people.

    replyreport