We are having an affair for years. Why cant we stop?!?!?

1. 60

   hendrixmorrisonposted 12 years ago

   We are having an affair for years. Why cant we stop?!?!?
   
   I am a single mom with a good career and I have been carrying on an affair with a now married man for years, although he only got married back in May.  He and I connected when my relationship with my son's father ended.  He was unhappy in his relationship.  We held off for over a year, suppressing what we wanted from each other, not wanting to hurt anyone, going about our lives but still fantasizing about it.  Then we crossed the line, thinking let's just get it out of our system. When he needed it to end, I stopped, but he always comes back. And I feel ecstatic when he does.

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2. 61

   smzclarkposted 12 years ago

   You can stop! You just have to be strong. He is using you and you probably deserve much more than that...and his wife probably does too for that matter.

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3. 61

   faria_lupinposted 12 years ago

   you need to find out whether you love him. but if you want to stop you can just do whatever you want,stop thinking about him, stop talking to him, concentrate only on yourself and you son.try to move on like try to settle down in another state if possible
   change your course....be strong he's taking advantages from you

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4. 59

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   ???  Here is a thought, meditate, control your feelings.  I once have a girl I like and she like me, but she has a BF, who she don't love, but is only together with, because she feel obligated.  Because, we feel romantic for each other, I feel in should not give advice on her current relationship and should stay out of it.  So, whenever she ask me about it.  I tell her, "I don't have an answer for you", despite deep down inside I believe "She should be honest with herself and to her BF, because if she don't, she is cheating the both of them."  Out of respect for her BF, I decided for both of us that we should not act upon our romantic feeling for each other, as I do not want to steal somebody's GF or be the one somebody she dump her BF for.  Only, if they broke up for reason, that has nothing to do with me, would I consider asking her out.  So, I decided for both of us, that we should stay away from each other.  Her BF, eventually figure things out, when me and her bumped into each other in a restaurant, I pretend I don't know her, she was excited to see me.  Fear of loosing her, her BF soon ask her to marrie him, which she said yes.  But, once they got married, problems emerge, due to the natural of their relationshp and I heard from a friend, they eventually got divorce (no kids, thank god).  I didn't ask her out afterwards, because I decided that I should move on with my life rather then wait for her, so by that stage, I already lost contact with her.  Your situation is even more serious, she and him are not just dating, they are married.  Anyway, I hope my story would help you. 

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5. 59

   Alaina Smith Cainposted 11 years ago

   Everybody wants to feel love no matter what the situation is that stimulates it. Right or wrong it feels good and what's the harm in that, right? That's how I felt too, until I became the wife that was being cheated on. It hurt like hell and I blamed myself for not doing enough to keep my husband home, and no matter how beautiful and smart and strong you are, being cheated on makes you feel ugly, stupid, and weak to let what happens to so many other women happen to you. As the mistress I felt empowered and beautiful and way smarter than his wife could ever be, after all, she obviously wasn't doing something right or he wouldn't be with me, right? Did I forget to mention that I only felt all those wonderful things about myself when he was around, which is usually not often. When he wasn't around I would think about him, reminisce about our love-making, wonder when he would call again, call his house and hang up on the first ring. Until I realized something, when he didn't have me he, at least, had her and when I didn't have him I still had.........nobody. Why would anybody want to live like that? You and his wife both get half a man, but the same man gets to have two whole women. Do the math, does that sound fair to you?

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