I don't think that it's usually a case of "either/or", but most often it's an unspoken gravitation to each other that occurs without any conscious decision. I love all of my close friends, and I can't honestly say how we found each other. Once, though I met someone who lived in my town. I met her at my garage sale, and she began to call me every morning at 8 a.m. and want to talk for an hour or more. I was very busy then and found it somewhat annoying, yet I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I talked with her. Then she wanted to go shopping together, but I like to shop alone. Eventually, I began shopping with her and had a good time. We became very close friends. Years later, she told me that she was determined to be friends with me, and basically "stalked" me until I gave in. That was weird. She had a volatile temper which caused problems in our friendship, and now we no longer are friends.