My daughter has the same problem. She has used the legal remedies available as the behaviour of her ex was bordering on stalking. She has not come out unscathed and is now suffering anger, low self esteem, and I would think some depression. She does visit web sites very often to read how to deal with these feelings and what to do practically. It has helped her but she has a long way to go before she is fully recovered and not looking over her shoulder all the time.
One thing that was suggested was to 'give him a warning', I would assume this meant physical threat or making him fear for his own safety. As angry as I was, being her mother, I was aghast at this suggestion and pointed her in the direction of the police. They have not handled the situation with much tact and have said some very inflammatory things to her that again have upset her. Suggestions that she is enjoying the attention, she is making it happen etc. etc. She has to remember that this is the personal opinion of the police officer dealing with the situation and the means to the end and the objective needs to be the main priority. It makes me sad that people can behave in such a way and as a victim she has been re victimised by the people who she turned to for help.
However this does not really answer the question but my advice would be go to the specialist web sites, just type in 'abusive partners', loads of really good information is available. Don't be put off you need to take control of this type of behaviour as soon as possible, talk to someone you trust, and do something to make yourself safe immediately.