Why is it so difficult to say "no" at the right time?

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   midget38posted 11 years ago

   Why is it so difficult to say "no" at the right time?

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   sriparnaposted 11 years ago

   Because you care ............. though it becomes too much to take on, when you see another person might have problems or someone dear is requesting, it becomes difficult to say no. But learning the art of saying no is extremely important in life, I have learnt the hard way, say no politely and diplomatically but at times, it's the only right option.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's an art, indeed. Mastering the "no" is really an art!

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   Express10posted 11 years ago

   Because telling someone no is a rejection and most people don't want to hurt other people's feelings or cause tension. But, sooner or later most people move past this and begin asserting themselves because otherwise they would get used or abused.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Agree with that very much, Express10. We don't say no because we don't want to hurt. But it hurts more when our kindness is abused.

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   Lady_Eposted 11 years ago

   Hi Michelle, it's because we don't want to upset people. When I was younger (still am), even if I had a lot to do at work and I was asked by another person to do a task, I would say Yes - though inside I knew I should say No - because I had a lot on.
   
   A few of my colleagues also had this problem and we ended up going on a One day Assertive Course. It taught us how to say "No" without feeling bad or upsetting the other person.
   
   It helped me a lot. (but it's still a bit of a challenge to say No to family, as they are close to heart.)
   Take care.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True, Elena. We don't want to upset people, and end up biting off more than we can chew. Happens to me a lot too (that's why I've asked this question.)  Think we should have an online assertive course!!

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   donnah75posted 11 years ago

   As a good person, you likely want to avoid conflict and please people all at the same time.  It is often easier to say "yes" in the moment, even if it create more stress later on.  Learn to say no.  I did this in a big way recently, and although the people I said no to are still trying to convince me to take on more than I can handle on my already full plate, I am sticking to my guns.  It feels amazing to know that I am making the right decision for me.  I bet next time, it will be even easier to just say no again.

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   myownlifeposted 11 years ago

   yes that is right you care. but always think where to say yes and find the reason to say no. because the world is not only for yes,

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's true, myownlife. There is a time for a yes and a no. We just have to know when.

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   unknown spyposted 11 years ago

   ..becaue I think we always think of others first before what we really want. so its difficult to say no and hurt their feelings...its very hard especially to people who are empathetic.

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