How to deal with a boyfriend who's ex-fiance (from 5 years ago) is still in his

1. 84

   Whitney05posted 14 years ago

   How to deal with a boyfriend who's ex-fiance (from 5 years ago) is still in his life and his dad's?
   
   He's friends with her to keep peace between his dad and him (trying not to make her mad by being nice to her, even though she's a B to him for one thing or another). Claiming that he has to be nice so there's no tension between he and his dad.

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2. 60

   Mezoposted 14 years ago

   u need hom to be really faithful and sincere...and it's not true that he will always love her  more

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3. 84

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   I don't understand why a girl wants to stay in the life of her Ex-Finance's father. It sounds unusual. It could even appear like she's staying in touch with his father as a way to keep the ex in her life - And why is she chosing to be a B to her Ex as well as maintain contact with his father.. It seems like she's over-stepping the mark! She's an ex- they're no longer together but she hasn't completely left his life (and that of his family). So she may not have completely let go of the relationship. I would hope your boyfriend would tell her to step away from his life and his fathers now that you're in a relationship - and explain to his father that he should be more committed to him and his new girlfriend, and be understanding that it's just not appropriate to keep the Ex in his life. Talk to your boyfriend about it some more. Best wishes.

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4. 61

   Sarah m Marieposted 14 years ago

   Do you trust your boyfriend?
   
   Do you believe the romantic relationship with the ex is over?
   
   What are you insecure about? 
   
   You need to search your heart to find if there is an uneasiness with the boyfriend's continuing relationship or hurt feelings regarding the boyfriend's dad.  Do you want to be the future daughter-in-law and this other woman seems to already have that role?  Are you secure enough in the relationship if that is the case?  Unfortunately, parents don't always have the same idea as their kids do about who would be the right mate.   
   
   Can you create a healthy, positive relationship with the boyfriend's family?  Not in competition with a past love, but based on your own genuine outreach.  Is there a sincere connection you could make with the family?  This other woman is someone the dad has known for some time.  With time, perhaps you could get to know the family better yourself and allow them to witness their child's happiness with this newer relationship.
   
   If you are sure of your boyfriend's love and fidelity and if you truly have the foundation for a lasting relationship then be careful not to let your own insecurities undermine that.
   
   However, if alarms are going off because you are uncertain or there are issues within your relationship, don't let the ex be a distraction.  Focus on and discuss the areas of your relationship that need to be strengthened or confront any unresolved relationships now rather than on down the road.

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