A live in relationship or marriage?

1. 79

   dghbrhposted 11 years ago

   A live in relationship or marriage?
   
   Which one is better according to you? Is there any other option ?

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2. 78

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   It really comes down to what the individual WANTS.  It's your life! You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do.
   I believe who you are involved with is more important than what the living arrangements are. Ideally you want to be with someone who (naturally agrees) with you and wants the same things you do. If someone wants to get married then I would say don't move in together until after an engagement has been announced and the "save the date" notices have been sent to family and friends.
   You don't want to live together (hoping) it will lead to marriage. If you choose to live with someone there should be no "hidden agendas". Statistically it's been reported that 52% of marriages takes place between couples that have lived together. This would seem to prove that living together doesn't mean marriage will not take place. It's not the living arrangements that determine whether or not a marriage takes place unless you find you can't get along in which case you would have dodged a bullet by not getting married. It's really about both people wanting the same thing! Awhile back I wrote a hub on this subject. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … ng-Married

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I am happily married so far but asked this question just as it came to my mind. Thank you for your reply here.

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   2. 78

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Did you live together before you got married? I did. :-)

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   3. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Nope its a love marriage straightway.
      thank you

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3. 67

   cloverleaffarmposted 11 years ago

   The people involved have to decide what is best for them. For me, I think marriage is a way of telling the world that this is "the" person. Just living together is fine, but to me, it does not have the commitment level that a marriage does.

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your response here. its nice to know your view.

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   2. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Many thanks for your kind view here.

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4. 84

   Faith Reaperposted 11 years ago

   Marriage, as there is that commitment.  I have been married 34 years, and since I made a vow that long ago, I kept it, to include the good, the bad, the ugly and the lovely.  It would have be easy to run out, but sticking it through thick and thin, develops into that true meaningful lifetime commitment, knowing the other is not going to just throw in the towel.  ----That is if you can find that ONE who has also made that same commitment.

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   1. 78

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I woulld imagine it's easier to honor a "commitment" if you remain "in love" and share the same values! Knowing ourselves well enough to select our (ideal) mate has a lot to do with having a lasting (loving) marriage. Staying together alone doesn't.

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   2. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank  both of you for your responses here.

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5. 76

   Diana Leeposted 11 years ago

   I've been in a marriage for nearly 39 years. Commitments can be comfortable arrangements two people share for life and a marriage license only seals the deal. Marriage doesn't mean you think any more or less of them,it's only that you chose to  make it a legal contract under God and enforced by man's laws. Love may hold the key to a happy marriage, but sadly too many couples become victims to routines which aren't always love centered. We can never forget why we formed the union to begin with. Relationships really have little to do with the living arrangements. It really depends on the couple and what works for them. Believe me a long marriage takes a lot of ups and downs along the way and both parties may need to fight for what they need to make of it.

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Many thanks for your kind reply here.

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6. 71

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   A live in relationship doesn't have the special bond that marriage has. There is still that underlining fact that your boyfriend/girlfriend could always just leave. In marriage it is not so simple, it's more binding, more of a connection. However, I do believe that cohabitation is preparation for marriage. You learn if both of you can live together, what the challenges will be, and the best way to work around them.

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so far for your valuable reply here.

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7. 77

   whaturmissingposted 11 years ago

   After living together for one year, you are in a common-law marriage!  Yes, this is not traditional but does it mean that your common-law partner is flirting and going to leave at moment's notice.  Not at all!  I've been living together for three years and we continue to communicate, grow and learn from each other every day. 
   
   If your partner or husband wants to leave or cheat, they will regardless of if you married or not. 
   
   A loving, committed relationship doesn't need a marriage liscence.   It is up to you to decide.  Both can be equally there til death do you part.

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the nice response here.

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8. 36

   edhanposted 11 years ago

   Marriage is a commitment by both parties which will be a better sort of situation. But of course others may prefer just relationship without commitment.
   
   I am more towards building a family to carry on whatever work I have yet to complete.

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      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you @ edhan for your nice reply here.

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9. 0

   CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years ago

   I think those who live together (cohabitate) are breaking the rules of maritial conduct (and they know it). They want all the perks associated with marriage, but they both have one foot out the door.
   
   Their mock marriages are a sham, because they are never fully invested. Each of them knows that, at any time, they can just walk out the door and leave, so it changes the dynamics of the relationship to one of just shacking up...having sex...playing house - but nothing more than that.
   
   In tests, researchers have been able to identify cohabitating couples from dating couples and married couples. It seems those who cohabitate are more hostile to one another and lack a certain trust and closeness that the other two couples possess.
   
   Studies have also revealed that those who live together before marriage have a 50% higher chance of getting divorced than those who do not. It seems non committal couples also develop communication barriers and show behaviors that are consistent with fear of intimacy, fear of commitment and fear of abandonment. They tend to take this baggage into subsequent relationships.
   
   Having said that...marriage is the only way to go, but with the advent of "No Fault" divorces and the lack of negative social stigmas associated with divorce - a marital commitment is only as good as the characters of those speaking the vows. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the ink on most Marriage Licenses mean next to nothing.

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   1. 79

      dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Many thanks for your insightful reply here.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Does that mean I get the "Best Answer" designation? :0)

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10. 70

    Mellyunpluggedposted 11 years ago

    IMO, I prefer marriage, as it is long lasting and sacred,  to a volatile Live in relationship. Its a special feeling which cant be expressed in words if you get to live with a single partner throughout your life. Marriage gives that safe and secured bond to your relation.

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    1. 79

       dghbrhposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Its nice to know your view here, Thank you.

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11. 0

    mayank786posted 11 years ago

    I always believe in a living cum marriage relationship. it helps both the person to understand the nature of both so that there will be better understanding between two.

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12. 54

    jcalesposted 11 years ago

    live-in relationships have their advantages and disadvantages . A benefit is sharing expenses and being close to each other. A disadvantage is either person in the relationship has no written or societal responsibility or expectations as a husband or wife.
    which is better? I guess it depends on who you marry. For me, I'd choose marriage if it's a great relationship and shows you are 110% committed to this person.

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    skytreeroadposted 10 years ago

    A live in relationship is usually for people who are not ready to commit. With the live in relationship you can always back down into a roommate situation. Just remember that until you are married to keep all monies separate. No joint checking account unless it is for rent, and keep all items separate. Cars, bank accounts, names, legal papers, keep everything separate until the rings and vows are done and legal. Check the laws in your state, I was in one state there was a sundown to sunup law, and there are community property states that are common law marriages. Then you don't have the option. It is up to you to decide which is better, just be aware of the pitfalls of each and let love decide.

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